Hi guys I've been TRP lurker for near to a year now. Over my teen and uni days, I've had way too many instances where I had incredibly bad beta traits i.e. Girl I liked friendzoned me while she fucked some bad boy. Eventually it'd go wrong for her and I was her emotional tampon. I won't bore you with my beta tales, just know that it's typical of most of the stories you hear. Fortunately now, I'm in a great job right now and earning enough to dress well, have a decent social life and hit the gym often.
I've recently discovered that I'm an introvert. As stupid as it sounds, I always wondered why I'd prefer to stay in doors and be a bit of a geek. Against my will I have forced myself to socialise and make a great circle of friends, but I feel being an introvert is preventing me from truly being 'alpha'
Most people get misconceptions about what introversion is, so below I've copypasted a list I found which concisely defines what most introverts are like. You'll notice that quite a lot of these is a direct opposite to what an alpha does.
- You Enjoy Solitude
- Dislike Small-talk, but enjoy in-depth conversations about topics that interest you.
- People Say You Are A Good Listener
- You like to think about and choose your words carefully before speaking
- Dislike Conflict
- You prefer to work alone and without interruptions
- When stressed or need to recharge, you spend a few days alone by yourself.
- Often express yourself through writing
- People describe you as “soft-spoken” or “mellow”
- You like people, just not all the time
- You don’t normally like to take the lead, but will step up when no one else will.
So is it possible to get away from these genetic traits introverts have and become the alpha?
AptCasaNova 11y ago
For me, it's following through with what you say you're going to do. If you don't plan on doing it, don't bombast everyone with how amazing it's going to be and how awesome you are... just do it and the results will speak for themselves.
Also, the results are usually for me and my own sense of accomplishment, so why would I care about sharing them in the first place, really?
I'm pretty impermeable to other people's opinons, as a result... which I think blends introversion with alpha.
cray-cray-cray 11y ago
You sound like an INTJ, maybe besides the journaling... maybe an INTP. (these are myers-briggs types.) I've met several INTJs or INTPs I'd say are alpha males, for the most part. Both of those can learn skills if they care to, including leadership, entertaining, etc.
TheGreenPill 11y ago
Don't confuse extroversion with Alpha.
Alpha is more of a philosophy of approach to life.
An alpha lives their life for themselves.
An alpha is just as happy alone as he is in a group. An alpha isn't the one grasping for attention. He is doing his thing, which gathers attention because it it interesting or useful or entertaining.
An alpha will treat everyone the same; his responses to people define his frame and every one outside it can evaporate.
You can be "alpha" by doing your thing, enjoying your thing and not letting trivial social constructs get in your way.
In terms of pickup or game an alpha is not the roided up jock that fucks all the sluts.
He selects from the pile the ones that have value beyond their genitals and makes it known that he has interest. Their is no pursuit, an alpha courts and seduces.
And the woman will want him because he has value beyond money or looks. Being good looking and rich helps though, but not in the long run. Your actions ultimately make you successful.
Don't let introversion define your game, make introversion an element of your method and integrate it into your game. Flip the picture and become more than merely an introvert.
Source: an introvert with plates spinning and heads turning.
sushisection 11y ago
You are a great writer, this is like an excerpt from a Robert Greene book
[deleted] 11y ago
Okay. I don't go to parties because I don't have time. I don't have time because I want to have good grades in college and because I want to spend as much time as I can living one of my passion : Martial Arts.
However, I have very little social connections, very few friends, no girlfriend, no sex-friend and more generally no girls in my life. I'm not popular in college.
I'm not happy with this way of life. Although I really love Martial Arts, I wish I could spend time socializing, making friends, meeting girls and going to parties.
I don't feel secure in myself.
With that being said, am I still an alpha?
TheGreenPill 11y ago
The fact that your asking me means no, you are not alpha.
^Who ^am ^I ^to ^tell ^you ^if ^you're ^alpha?
All joking aside, no one but you can give you the label.
If you are not happy with your current form of existence it's up to you to change it.
You have identified what you want to do and the things you need to do to get there.
A life lesson that I didn't learn until it was much too late; looking for social approval at the cost of my goals was a very bad thing for me.
I didn't do well at either and essentially I just wasted 10 years of my life.
Ultimately, socializing is a bad thing when done for its own sake. Your socializing should be driven by your need to create connections with people that have goals that can support yours.
Going to parties full of people who don't understand your passion and seeking their approval is beta.
Going to places where you will encounter people who understand your drive and determination, gaining their acceptance and respect by being the best man you can be is what some would call being alpha.
Working towards your goals, living your passion and surrounding yourself with people doing the same is alpha and no one can give that from you.
Someone who shares many elements of life with yours is Joe Rogan, he had a similar experience to you with his earlier life, but he has achieved significant amounts once he let go of the need for peer approval.
Today people look for his approval and seek his time and advice.
Modified_Hackware 11y ago
You think the strong-silent archetype invented itself?
[deleted] 11y ago
Are you an introvert or do you lack social skills? Perhaps it's both. It's tempting to judge your value on your good points and then rationalize away your weak points. I did this for a long time with my physical fitness before realizing that my attitude towards it was really a bunch of excuses. The same applies to my social ability.
Everything can be learned. Warren Buffet had a difficult time socially, but he overcame it with hard work (and the book How to Win Friends and Influence People). It was important to his plans, so he set out to improve it.
ohsweetword 11y ago
Most people have no fucking idea what an introvert is. Let me simplify it for you.
Your brain processes information differently than extroverts. That's it.
You can be outgoing. You can be social. You can be aggressive. You can be outspoken.
You just need to have moments of reflection and meditation to "recharge."
A real introvert should function pretty much the same as anybody else, they just go home a little earlier, or want to spend some time alone once and awhile. Don't use it as a crutch or excuse to shun social interaction, or for that matter taking what you want in life.
One important aspect of being Alpha is taking yourself out of your comfort zone, but how you handle your personal relationships should be no different. You should have a bit of a leg-up on extroverts as you won't want to talk about your feelings very often.
Never talk to women about your feelings. Haha.
RedPill4LYF 11y ago
Introvert here. The answer is yes.
steadymotion 11y ago
I'm an introvert because I need alone time to recharge my batteries (solitary walks through the woods are great for this). However, I love being social with people. I just have my own style of doing it. I don't speak much—I stay laid back and observe everything, and I'm constantly analyzing things and coming up with plans in case certain things happen. I'm an asset to the group because just having me around means you'll be safe in a crisis. I'm like James Bond or something.
People feel like they can relax around me and have a good time, because when the time calls for it and things get tough, I step up and take charge with a plan of action. And once in a while I throw out a witty one-liner to get people laughing.
So hell yes, you can be an alpha introvert.
DevilishRogue 11y ago
Growing up I thought my uncle was as Alpha as fuck. Whenever we went to visit his family he'd always sit aloofly in the corner reading his paper ignoring us. I always felt the pressure to be social but he just seemed not to. I found out when I was older that he suffered from crippling social anxiety, which is why he exhibited most of your 11 bullets, yet he came across as the most alpha guy I'd ever come across.
thoumyvision 11y ago
The "Gary Cooper" strong silent type is a classic introvert alpha.
Some examples:
Rick Blaine (Humphrey Bogart) in Casablanca, or pretty much any Humphrey Bogart role.
The Driver (Ryan Gosling) in Drive
The protagonist in pretty much any film noir movie.
Wolfwoodd 11y ago
This is me. I'm an introvert. I've also learned to enjoy socializing more as I've gotten older. Learning pick-up helped tremendously. Also, having open relationships helps. The potential for sex is a huge motivator to get me out into social situations, so I tend to get very anti-social when I'm in monogamous relationships.
That being said, I'm very Alpha and I'm very good with women (post-pick-up / TRP). Introverts can be great "benevolent leaders".
wakethfkupneo 11y ago
OP, "alpha" is very contextual thing. Say, you are friend with not so hot girl and you act naturally, aloof, DGAF - she sees you as alpha that you are and is getting gina tingles when you're around. Then you meet really hot chick that you see as "out of your league" and suddenly you don't know what to say, act like a dork - she sees you as beta and you are. But you are still the same man.
Or, another common example, husband gets betaized and his wife is repulsed and not giving him sex anymore. Man gets fed up and gets into affair with a coworker who is enthralled in him and they have plenty of hot sex every chance they get. Is this man alpha or beta? He's both actually: beta to his wife and alpha to his lover. Same man!
Think about that for a moment cause then you'll realize how your question and line of thinking completely misses the mark. You are not introverted, you chose to act like that. Once you start thinking about how to change that behavior, then it's only matter of time when you'll start reaping rewards.
Or to answer the question directly:
Yes, people can change, happens every day. First you fake it, then it becomes a habit till you no longer have to remind yourself to watch the body language, pause for a moment to think of what's the proper response to that shit test ... it becomes second nature. You're no longer faking it. The hardest part is the initial fake phase - you start practicing new things that feel odd and unnatural, while still questioning yourself, thinking on quitting and searching interwebs for better and superior strategy. This is the part that you have to push through, there are no shortcuts, it's essentially a test of will (and faith). But then one day you start getting results, nothing stellar cause you're still making lots of mistakes, but it's finally something. At that point you no longer need "motivation" (seriously motivation is for losers - real winners draw their strength from discipline and habits), you have results, proof, from that point on you just keep walking the walk, there are no more doubts, this whole process becomes a workout routine. So, start thinking in terms of "what specifically I need to change", pick one thing and start practicing.
Raggos 11y ago
I believe what you meant is you are not alpha, you choose to act like that. Being intro/extraverted is something you cannot change.
[deleted] 11y ago
If you're good looking enough physically/have enough social proof/status, sure lol
[deleted] 11y ago
These are all traits that make you small. An extra at best.
What would you say? Can you overcome these traits? We can't tell you what you are able to do and whot not.
Are you serious? That's a shitty excuse for yourself.
RiseAboveIt 11y ago
What a horrible title.