I've been doing latino dances for 6 months now, at the same dance school.
Our female instructor is a vapid gen Z feminist which always somehow, during the classes, places the blame on men (leads) heavily, when in fact, many women in the class can't dance and FOLLOW for shit!!! exception makes any girl that is under 24 there. SOMEHOW, FOR FUCK'S SAKE, THE DANCE GOES SMOOTH AND VERY GOOD WITH THEM, I WONDER WHY.
Anyway, the constant blame and propaganda she emits during classes really pisses me of and demotivates me from learning, because I REALLY LOVE bachata and salsa, I love the music and I love dancing. I literally wait for my 9-5 to pass so I can go and practice/dance and study the dance and its musicality.
As instructors, they should in fact be happy, because I am the only student who goes out to social dance in the clubs every weekend and can actually naturally lead a woman.
I really am humble there and sometimes ask questions out of curiosity, I am aware that these fucking instructors are utterly losers in real life and have huge egos with gigantic drama in their lives. So I try no to come out as arrogant and an all-knowing asshole, to not mess up my social standing within the group.
Many women at the clubs have told me that I dance really good for a beginner, I never had any bad experience there, only at the fucking classes.
The bitch instructor always says something like "come on girls, we have to teach these men how to lead, we have to make them how we want them to, because they can't do that for themselves, they can't be leaders" WHAT THE FUCK is this whore talking about?
I've started going to social dance clubs for about 3 weeks now, and these instructors have seen the stories on my social media. They have started to resent me for this, like I've been somewhere I shouldn't have, because it exposes their fucking business trick of being able to social dance after 2+ years of courses, because if you go to the club, nothing you have learned in your first year of classes only can be applied at the club, you have to somehow BE PATIENT AND SUCK ENOUGH and improve yourself by yourself, by studying alone.
And yes, this is EU. EU is way, way fucking worse at feminism and woke shit than US, in everyday life.
[deleted] 2mo ago
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whytehorse2021 2mo ago
It's called misandry. Find a new instructor. I pulled my kids out of kick-boxing when it became a girls' aerobics class. I quit horse-back riding lessons when my instructor didn't understand that men have a higher center of gravity than women. It's just not worth wasting your time and money.
Vermillion-Rx Admin 2mo ago
What is your question?
This is my alley but i don't even know what you're asking
This is the only question i see in your post. This isn't normal behavior, get a class that doesn't have a bitch instructor.
lambOfGod 2mo ago
Not literally a question, more like a statement about my situation and I want to know if I am fucking crazy or something. Starting to think that this scene has some of the worst people you could encounter
Vermillion-Rx Admin 2mo ago
Ah well it was in the title of the post
It does. That's why i quit for the most part after 3 years. I am finishing my second part of my dance scene guide this week and it explains why
Vermillion-Rx Admin 2mo ago
Also your dance instructor is a retard, follows can't teach leads. They can help correct leads if they are spatially aware and have a move down really well but this is extremely rare. Your dance instructor sucks ass
lambOfGod 2mo ago
Sometimes I literally feel like starting a fight AMOGin' the fuck out of these cowards
lambOfGod 2mo ago
Ok, so I'm not insane. Sometimes it feels like a Black Mirror episode man. You can't really say anything because there are people affiliated with their business and the people around the scene, that will backstab you and gossip like god damn crazy
Vermillion-Rx Admin 2mo ago
There is rampant backstabbing in the scene. Always be mysterious and keep to yourself. Don't say any of your thoughts or opinions on people. I regret that I ever wasn't mysterious enough to people there.
If you have read my part I (if i mentioned it) just find dance partners that love dancing with you and ask them to practice with you at a park or gym studio (or house if they are very comfortable with you) and learn moves from YouTube/insta/TikTok
Practice with them for like 2 hours once a week. Get multiple practice partners if one of them can't make it weekly, but also get multiple because practice partners fall through eventually.
I got better than any instructor could have ever made me by studiously observing fine details of what i should do in moves etc from practicing with follows so much
lambOfGod 2mo ago
Where can I find your part 2 guide of your social dance series?
Vermillion-Rx Admin 2mo ago
just dropped part II
https://www.forums.red/p/theredpill/323142/vrx_social_dance_guide_part_ii_the_scene
Vermillion-Rx Admin 2mo ago
I'm still trying to finish it. I hope to have it done soon. Taking me so long because I recently just left the scene for the most part and that part of my guide has been emotionally challenging to write
lambOfGod 2mo ago
take your time, Part I has helped me a lot and your work is great
Vermillion-Rx Admin 2mo ago
Thank you so much man, i appreciate that a ton. I have a backlog of 20-30 posts to make and this feedback means a lot
Glad part one helped. I have 3-4 more parts to make. Part II is The Scene. It is more about wisdom, understanding and precautions than actual game or how to's. I think however it is the most important of the series and i wish I'd known all that stuff before i started
AbusiveFather1 2mo ago
can you find another studio? at 6 months in, I think you're ready to learn from other dancers/YouTube: all you really need is a social dance venue, and maybe a permanent dance partner to deconstruct moves with - you can make such arrangements with one of the girls at the social dance venue.
I will vehemently disagree with you there.
Musicgoon78 1 2mo ago
Switch instructors or shut the fuck up about it. Your butthurt isn't going to make changes.
enfier 2mo ago
Don't ever challenge the instructor or talk shit. You are there to have fun, they are there to make money and can barely pay their bills. If you are deemed a threat to business they will do everything in their power to fuck up your dancing game. Many instructors don't like advanced leads around because they tend to bring the hot newbies out to the club and teach them how to dance eliminating any need for private lessons. Never, ever get caught teaching a follow anything during class unless the leaders have requested it.
I spent years listening to our not-so-great Salsa/Bachata teacher go through way too much talking. It irritated the snot out me. You know what I did? I sat there, tuned it out and smiled. That man put forth a lot of effort to build a viable dance scene in a small city and I appreciate that. He might not be the world's best instructor, but when no one else was available to teach, he stepped up and did his best. Where I am now, there's an instructor that I can't stand either. She teaches absolutely zip zero in actual following skills to the followers and expects the leads to push them through the moves. That works up until intermediate but for advanced dancers I was trained to give them a much softer lead and more room to interpret, respond and style. If she wants to plod through a turn to emphasize a point about me not shoving her old ass through the turn during a social dance, I just won't dance with her. Meanwhile her follows barely know what to do if you let go of their hands. I'm not going to sit there and argue, she can sit on her years of experience but I'm just sitting there knowing that none of the professionals I was dancing with the other week had any issue at all following my lead. Just let them do it their way. When in class, do it their way. After all - she did put in the years and built the community and that means I get to dance.
So let your instructor give her spiel about teaching leads how to lead lmao. Maybe she means that they can provide feedback which actually is helpful in reasonable doses. Teaching follows to follow is actually fairly difficult, may more difficult than having them run through a pattern. A follow's reaction to being led teaches you volumes about how they are in a relationship. Obviously your instructor is unable to reconcile the idea of gender roles in dance with her own personal views. Just let her talk.
Keep in mind you are still a beginner. I'd just give it time. You'll still get shit on by instructors even if you are an advanced lead, trust me. Start going to workshops, salsa/bachata congresses and keep doing the social dance scene.
lambOfGod 2mo ago
thanks, good insight.
I think these guys already eyed me because we were encouraged to rehearse with others at the classes at the venue, minutes before the class actually starts, yet I am always the only one that rehearses there with all the girls and, because high school never ends, I think they think of me as a threat.
It might be better to just switch schools, I ain't putting up with primary school behavior, specially when it's about where my money is going to
enfier 2mo ago
I don't see why you'd switch schools. Just go to your happy place in your mind and wait for the talk to be over. You ought to be able to sit through politically correct bullshit without reaction, the same as you'd sit through a DEI talk at work.
It's good to have connections at various studios. Absolutely try out different schools but maintain your presence at the old one. You don't need to show up for every lesson, just drop by once or twice a month. If you have a good reputation and are fun and lead well, you will be invited everywhere soon enough. Follows will gladly follow you to new places and clubs and when dance instructors realize that you can pull in new faces then they will treat you a little differently.
SuckDancer 2mo ago
I share many experiences with you if not all.
The Old followers, are not really followers with exceptions, opposite the young ones (BTW follows or followers?).
I went to school where woman swollen like Greta (visible substance addiction) targeted me for being mine victim. I have quit.
In next school an instructor made feminists remarks (she almost never had male partner accompanying) second time she made remark (general one), I have immediately found another school and never looked back. There is no more quality schools left in the area.but fortunately this one if OK like.
What I have noticed is schools are on average attended by whimps. That might mean that the instructors learned to accommodate whimps, maybe they are better businesses?
Sometimes I come across lesser Chad but they dont stay long.
I have recognised the patterns of schools early on, and to suit my goals I dont even try to be the best. On average: community seem to suck, women in community seem to suck and LONG TERM GAME on they scene will likely suck - it seems that extra hours put toward dance expertise will have diminishing returns pretty fast. But I dont think it applies to short term game. verm got plenty out of it. But IMO to get the long term game out of it he would have to become instructor.
Realistically all the women in the scene are ploughed through more than chicks on the street. You will meet newbies in newbie classes only: as a newbie or instructor.
Exp women with high notch number, having exp with high skill chads, makes them: alpha widows of a dancing scene. That might be not representative sample of women, but women that wanted attention. More slutty etc.
Verm got v good practical advise.
need to go through enfer's post again but seems good as well
IMO use dancing school as platform, dont hope for romantic film.
There are ways to extend your lifespan on the scene despite fuckery. I do one but is higly specific and potentially doxxing.
@Vermillion-Rx @enfier