Just hoping I can get some outside perspective. I'm mid 20s
I found TRP about 4 years ago and at the time I was extremely BP. I then focused grinding my career and studying for my bachelor's. I grinded working full time, full time class load, and nightlife in my free time.
A lot of ups and downs. Including making spinning plates/women my focus in life outside job and school.
Now that I've stopped drinking/partying, have a stable career, a great LTR, and graduated I feel like I am just spinning my wheels. I don't have anything to work towards.
I already go to the gym. My other hobbies are just around the house. Rarely catch up with my friends since they just mainly want to party still.
I don't know what to do with all my time.
I see people talk about finding something they put all their focus into but I can't seem to find anything like that. Has anyone been in a similar situation or have any ideas.
I know this is long shot since everyone is different, but I've been like for awhile so thought I'd try.
whytehorse2021 1w ago
Modern society has taken away purpose. It's all about materialism and modernity. Much like France right before the revolution. Our version of "Let them eat cake" is "Just buy a Tesla". When I was young I had an aptitude for computers. This led me to trade school and then on to working in tech support. Well that got outsourced.
Next I started my own business building computers. That got replaced by Dell and cheap Chinese labour. Next I went into in-house tech support, now called DevOps. That got replaced by Geek Squad. Next I started a business doing firewalls, file servers, and networks for small-medium enterprises. That got replaced by plug-and-play systems from Cisco, wifi, internet providers, etc. Next I became a programmer but I was replaced by fraudulent H1-B workers from India.
So I went to college to get a Physics degree. I couldn't get hired anywhere because they only hire fraudulent F-1 visa "international students" from abroad. So I said "fuck it", quit my shitty job, bailed on my rented basement apartment, sold all my shit, and got on a plane to Bali.
I had arranged to take an English teaching course and already had a nice hot chick lined up(now my wife). I got pussy on my first day there. I had a good job lined up before I even finished the course. After 9mos I came back to the US to start a business and get set up for my wife to join me. That went to shit so I got her and went to Thailand. I had a job within 3 days of arriving.
After 4 years in Thailand my wife got her visa so I was forced to come back to the US or lose it. I couldn't find work so I went back to Thailand and worked for a spyware company. That only lasted a couple months and then I had to return to the US. I couldn't find work again so I stayed with my mom while I completed my masters degree.
My degree didn't get me a job so I started a cannabis farm. My business partner and my mom ultimately betrayed me and I've been fighting him in court for years. Unable to secure employment or get any money from the business I built from the ground up.
Do you see a common thread here? If you do everything right you get fucked over in the US. It's a game not worth playing. Trades, professions, start-ups, doesn't matter. A 25 yr old man should be well on his way in a good career, married, having kids, and buying a house. Now that's impossible. They call it the American dream because you have to be asleep to believe it. I should've been a scientific programmer at Boeing but oh well, Karen or Raj got the job.
So now we have clown world. A world in which Boeing airplanes have the door fly off in mid-flight and their space capsule leaves 6 astronauts trapped on the space station. Some African-American immigrant named Elon who came here on a "international student" visa has to rescue them. See where this is going? We're in the middle of a civilizational collapse.
My purpose is to survive the coming civil war. Get guns and practice shooting. Stockpile food. Have a place to go. Make sure I can run a mile faster than all the fat people. Train my sons and wife to shoot. Make sure my cars and bugout bags are ready at all times.
EurasianChad 1 1w ago
When I figured that as a man, I have the power to control my own life & destiny.
It then became a process of choosing who I wanted to be, and aligning my actions towards that.
Men are built.
benzino 1w ago
Being poor and trying a lot of jobs, eventually I found something I'm pretty good at, has decent demand and I actually enjoyed doing.
So just get out of your comfort zone and try different things, even things you never imagined you would do. You may be a kickass cagefighter but you dont know because you never tried
redhawkes 2 1w ago
This post will help you. Just so you know, you don't find mission, you chose one.
https://www.reddit.com/r/TheRedPill/comments/6jaw7x/cant_find_your_mission_your_purpose/
IHateNames 1w ago
Great post, really helps. I appreciate you sharing.
benzino 1w ago
Awesome link. Bookmarked
Typo-MAGAshiv 2 1w ago
1) it really is as simple as try things until you find what you want.
2) you're allowed to change your mind, for any and even no reason (from the Assertive Bill of Rights from "When I Say No I Feel Guilty" by Dr. Manuel Smith).
3) like redhawkes already said: it's not really finding one, but choosing one. You are in the driver's seat of your life.
lurkerhasarisen 1 1w ago
The greatest book on “purpose” ever written is the book of Ecclesiastes. You can read it in less than an hour.
Right off the top of my head I can think of two hit songs that contain quotes from it: The Byrds’ “Turn, Turn, Turn” and Pink Floyd’s “Time”.
If you don’t “get” it, read it again until you do.
Musicgoon78 1 1w ago
One of the biggest problems and roadblocks a man can have is his life is if he lacks decisiveness. This type of question is prevalent in every culture. It's made to get you off of the couch, touching grass and thinking for yourself.
Without direction all there is is depression and apathy. Let me let you in on a secret that most people don't want to talk about: no one knows what they're doing. That's it. There's no answer because you have to make it yourself. There's also no way to fail, because you have your own metrics that you create.
You ask 1000 people you'll get 1000 different answers. Some people prey on the weak. These are the cult leaders, scammers, Amway salesman and BPD women. There's also going to be a shit ton of larpers in trp that will shame you for your choice in. Women and tell you that happiness is being a billionaire. Don't listen.
Start going out and having fun. Find out what you really enjoy. Once you feel passion for a few things, you can pursue those things deeply. You don't have to choose one and you can change your mind at any time.
The name of this game is to practice being decisive.
IHateNames 1w ago
"Without direction all there is is depression and apathy. "
That really resonates with how I've been feeling. A couple of days before posting this I realized that I have trouble making decisions and sticking to them. This drove that home for me.
I've lived my life trying to use logic to force myself into a decision. "This relationship has more cons than pros so it is the right choice to end it." Then I would look for people to reinforce my decision. As if I need others to tell me my decision is okay. I was always afraid of making the 'wrong' choice.
Musicgoon78 1 1w ago
You're going to have to be ok with some people not liking your decisions. In my 20's I really liked this chubby blond chick that worked at Chili's. My friend used to talk shit about her and try to make me feel bad for liking her. That's a shit friend.
Jealous people will disagree with your success, women will disagree with you sticking to your boundaries. Older women will shame you for wanting to date younger girls. Some people will support you and some won't. Even your family might disagree. You have to be ok with making your own decisions and accepting the outcome of those.
First-light 1w ago
This is good advice. If you roll the dice by making a decision, something either good or bad is going to happen. You won't be stuck in apathy. You will probably know if you like it or not and want to do it again too.
I would add that creative thought seldom comes when one is stressed. If you are grinding away hard at life, you can get stuck in a rut. You need to create some time for yourself, even if you do nothing with it. (obviously its not the aim to do nothing with it but nothing may rest you enough to be creative, so one should not feel guilt if one is resting a bit). When you are rested a bit you get better ideas for a mission. Men can be too hard on themselves -push your mind, push your body, see improvements. But part of training is rest. Rest is when the gains are actually made. We all know its true with physical training but we seldom plan in the same slack mentally.