This happened to me too. I actually had a girl text me after she got back home from seeing me, saying that she didn't want to lead me on and wasn't looking for a relationship. I noticed that I was looking forward to just laying with a girl and holding her, more than I was looking forward to having sex with her. I pegged this as an emotional validation issue, meaning that I was trying to use girls as a way to prove to myself that I am worthy of being loved. Sounds pretty gay when you say it out loud or write it down.

I fixed this by internalizing outcome independence. If your issue is the same as mine, then you need to understand that you have certain qualities that attract women, and as long as you don't let yourself go, that's probably not going to change for a while. Success or fail, nothing really changes, you are still the same guy. There is really nothing to prove to yourself that women can provide. Only you can provide that, and once you do, then women will actually seek you for THEIR emotional validation.

Call me gay or feminine, but for me these are very important and pleasurable parts of a lay

Then just reward them every time they themselves engage in that behavior. You're probably cuddling like a bitch instead of a rock securing them and making them feel small.

They're probably like wtf? He just railed me now he's being ultra affectionate?

Women don't want to be cuddled as if they are your mom, if you want affection either vet for naturally affectionate women or reward them every time they give you your desired behaviors. More than likely you are giving the affection of a woman

Also why do you need emotional intimacy? That's a you problem you need to overcome. That is a natural progression in a relationship not something you fling out there as a man and hope it sticks

You're doing this wrong

There's a timing thing with women. For about 1 week after mentruating they want alpha vibes. Then they want 2 weeks of beta vibes. Beta vibe is when you cuddle. If you're just hooking up during their alpha phase then you'll never get to the beta phase.

Interesting... I've always liked post-coitus cuddles and women always responded quite positively to them. I'm talking pull them in tight and close, for like 10-15min after.

How are they reacting while you are cuddling? Responding in kind, or going stiff and not reciprocating in any way?

What else are you doing or saying besides holding them? Is there a specific point where the mood seems to turn?

Easy fix, get a prostitute, fuck her and cuddle for a while after, they are all about acting up and won't give you shit about it. Mega fix, stop yourself from thinking it is a normal thing you crave, we're not supposed to want that kind of intimacy so early after meeting someone. That's what girlfriends and wives do, maybe you're looking for a stable girlfriend and this is how you express that. Either way,it is causing you trouble

You have to understand that plates and ONS are another version of a prostitute. You call them. They come into work. They do their job, drain your balls. They go home. They don't want to cuddle. It would be like going to work and cuddling with your boss at the end of the day. It's inappropriate.

My question is, how did you manage to get to sleep before your plates and ONS came along?

Too much pull and not enough push. Women are competitive. They want a challenge. It's not your job to seek out the relationshipy shit it's hers.

You gotta know your audience. The club hoes are looking for dick. Once you get em hooked then you can't start the more intimate stuff. Right now you took their job. You took away the challenge. You gave it up too early and now you look like a relationship hoe.

So bang them. Then say "come lay on my chest". Get some cuddles in. Then, go make yourself a sandwich and send them packing. Being needy for connection will dry panties, because I hate to say it, but it's a feminine trait and very common among single females.

Look for women that aren't just looking for dick. Try a different venue or social event.

you said in a comment here "ohhh cmon, lets stay a bit more and cuddle, I need that".

This sounds sissy to me. You sound and speak too feminine.

Here in EU, if we'd say shit like that, we'd be ballbusted and word would go around that we're creepy like that. I guess you americans also need a hot war to your doorstep and a military draft for things to start changing around haha.

I never encountered an issue with cuddling hoes or plates, but I never said things like that either.

You have some good replies already.

I'll throw in my two cents as well, though some of it will repeat some of what others have said.

1) beta/comfort that is either a) unearned, or b) too much too soon, or worse, all of the above will repulse women. It's just how they're wired; they can't help it.

The flip side of that, though, is doling it out in measured doses once she's earned it will have her eating out of your hand (or your ass, if you're into that).

2) there's nothing wrong with wanting to cuddle. I love a good post-coital cuddle. But you have to do it in a masculine, non-clingy manner. Usually, if you lay back on your back and put your arm that's closer to her out, she'll lay in the crook of your arm and chest and you put your arm around her. It'll make her feel small and protected, and it feels good for both of you, causing the release of all kinds of bonding hormones and shit.

Don't expect to have her fall asleep that way.

• it's only comfortable for a few minutes

• women need to pee within a few minutes of finishing sex to reduce the risk of a UTI

• it's too hot to stay that way for long (at least for me)

Also, I thrash around in my sleep. It was usually inadvisable to stay too close to me for too long. I've clobbered my wife (and others before her) many a night.

3) again, if they need to separate or get up, let them. Do not get clingy.

Like in many things, how you do it is almost more important than what you do.