Hey Y'all, really looking for some advice here. I'm a 29 year old virgin that has been pretty depressed my whole life. I'm obese and working to get started on this journey but it feels like it's too late to start trying all this. I'm already down 20 lbs and will keep working on it, but where do I start? I just got the book of pook, and am planning to keep going with the weight loss and to get new clothes after I lose the rest of the weight. What do I do after that? Is it too late for me to start dating and spinning plates? Thanks y'all.
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Lone_Ranger 2 1mo ago
listen dude - you need to adjust your thinking. 29 is very young. I turned my life around at 46.
Heres' the thing - your objectives are all fucked up "...too late to start dating and spinning plate..."
Your goal is women. This is bullshit.
Forget all about women. Find your purpose. Live your life. Women will be a side effect of a life well lived THEY SHOULD NEVER BE THE GOAL.
If women are still the focus of your life, your life is going to be a shit show.
In the mean time - if you are obese - here's the plan.
it's that simple.
Musicgoon78 1 1mo ago
Are you still able to breathe and walk and talk? When you die, it's too late to start spinning plates.
Sounds like you started with your weight loss. Now you have to make a big decision that requires a sacrifice.
The truth is that a vast majority of guys find this thing more valuable than their happiness, success, health or even love. This thing is their victim identity.
That has to be sacrificed. If you hold onto it, you are guaranteed to do poorly for the rest of your life. If you let it go life will become joyous, productive enjoyable and actually easier.
The second step is to work on being decisive. Decide what you want to do with your mornings, evenings days, year and life. Start small and always go in the direction you've decided on.
The final step is simply talking to people. Learn how to have and enjoy conversations. This repeated practice will make you comfortable and likeable in any situation.
When you get good at talking and decide what girl you want, it will be very easy to get her.
This sounds simple because it is. It's not complex but just takes courage. Deciding to let go of the victim identity is usually the hardest step and the one the vast majority of guys won't move past.
GetMoreBooks 1mo ago
Thank you, I will start working on this today. Do you have any books you'd recommend about letting go of the victim mentality? Or is it just a mindset adaptation?
Musicgoon78 1 1mo ago
It's just a mindset. Just look in the mirror and tell yourself that you're not a victim.
Now for social skills I would recommend the YouTube channel called "Charisma On Command". That has some great content!
EurasianChad 1 1mo ago
Get your fitness goals in check first so you develop more respect for the achievements you've pushed for. That's always step 1.
Don't worry about the more advanced things like spinning plates & dating. Get to a point where you can respect yourself first. YOU first.
Only from a point of self-focus can you begin to allow & choose the right women into your life.
GetMoreBooks 1mo ago
You're right, I don't think I respect myself yet. I will keep working on the weight loss and fitness goals. Thanks
Typo-MAGAshiv 2 1mo ago
It's never too late.
Women have an expiration date, and so they burn bright and fade fast.
We have to make something of ourselves. It takes longer, but the payoff lasts longer too.
First and foremost, stop any negative self-talk such as labeling yourself a "loser". You are programming yourself for failure when you say shit like that. Acknowledge that you have work to do, and do that work, but do not label yourself shit like that.
RE: your fitness journey. Are you lifting? Yes, work on losing the excess fat. But you will get the most bang for your buck by lifting.
GetMoreBooks 1mo ago
I appreciate it. Never really thought about the self talk. I'm not into lifting yet, but am doing calisthenics. I just got starting strength and was planning on starting it soon.
Vermillion-Rx Admin 1mo ago
Quite obviously you need to lose weight. It's a huge factor of male SMV.
It's not. I started at 29 (mostly) and I can't stop getting myself into trouble by getting laid even when I'm not trying. You can catch up if you put in the right work.
Good. Don't stop.
Lift. Losing weight. READ THE SIDEBAR. Practice game even if you lose out. Read book of Pook and rational male.
No.
Go to my profile and read my origin story if you have to. It's not too late. It's only too late if you sabotage yourself with a shitty ass mentality like you have now
GetMoreBooks 1mo ago
Thank you, I'll read the sidebar and your profile.
MrSupreme 1mo ago
It is not too late at your age, you can still workout,dress well,eat healthy,read some of the recommended books,(book of Pook is a nice start), approach a few cuties and make a bunch of progress in just one year. Taking care of your image is a must,and it is where many guys start their red pill journey, you don't need books for that. Think of the present and that you're taking the right steps
GetMoreBooks 1mo ago
You're right. I'll take action.
First-light 1mo ago
Its not too late. You have made the right start.
Its going to need a lot of push and a lot of self belief to carry you along when your push feels low. Try to remember everything else you have succeeded at in life and remember this will be just another thing.
Its really all about forming good habits. It can't be fixed quickly but if you think about the areas you need to improve, then think about the habits you need to cultivate, you can then make small incremental progress in all areas. It doesn't matter if you have the odd wobble or even slide back in one area, what matters is that you keep making incremental progress overall.
This is probably going to take a few years to iron it all out but tis totally doable. Think where you were 3 years ago. If you had only started then you would be in good shape and banging women by now. It no time the time will pass and if you do the work, you will get there.
Losing weight and regaining fitness is quite a big mission. Come at it from different angles -nutrition, sleep, calories, food quality, aerobic exercise, anaerobic exercise, strength conditioning, eating habits.
GetMoreBooks 1mo ago
Thanks, I appreciate the breakdown. I'll get to work
whytehorse2021 1mo ago
Welcome to the loser club. The difference between a winner and a loser is the winner gets back up and keeps fighting until he wins.
No-Stress-Cat 1mo ago
Don't put the cart before the horse. Work on yourself and the pussy come find you. As Whytehorse would say: Pick heavy shit up. Put heavy shit down. Keep doing that.