For the past couple months I've been working part time as a student tutor at my med school (I just do this for fun, zero importance for future career). 18yo freshmen looove older med students but I'm very cautious atm.
- My little sister is one of my students (there are about 300 in total). Do NOT want to get her involved in or even get a whiff of drama with girls I'm fucking.
- I'm struggling with reconciling my role as a "person of authority" with flirting with these students. I joke around a lot and some female (and male) students say I'm their favorite etc. but so far I've been keeping everything strictly "friendly" and not flirty. Just one time I flirted with one girl at a party for 5mins but then she shittested me "youre my tutor we cant make out" and I backed out. I guess I dont wanna ruin my "aura" by flirting with these students and treating them as peers but then how will I fuck them?
Thoughts? Am I in my head too much? How should I handle this?
cundardunfinished 21h ago
I've been in a similar situation. I didn't actively flirt at work, though I was friendly. I was easily findable on socials. Over time a few connected with me that way and when they did it was game on, though I was perhaps more aggressive than I should have been. Once I chatted with them a bit I invited them straight to my place but looking back it would have been safer professionally to escalate from a more neutral meeting.
ymmv especially if you already connect with a lot of them through socials, in my case it was rare and every single one that did wanted to hook up with me and I could see it coming before I even got the follow/invite.
I wouldn't worry about the "person of authority" stuff unless you are specifically prohibited from fraternizing with students or you have some actual authority over them. Like if you are a TA then this is a bad idea. If you are just helping with homework that isn't really authority, that's just proof/status that's totally legitimate to use
AbusiveFather1 4d ago
How would that work? Do you mean one of those girls could mess with your sister if you got them mad?
Is this a “shitting where you eat” situation? Otherwise I see no reason how fucking these students would ruin your aura. They are below you in the hierarchy.
medstudentgerman2002 4d ago
For example, couple weeks ago this freshman hottie who'd been giving me IOIs saw me and my sister in the bus and literally asked us "are you guys also med students?" and started a convo with us. My sister later told me she's super popular. I could also tell that my sister heavily idolizes this girl and wants to befriend her. That girl is also very hot though and flirty with me and I'm like 90% sure she approached me and my sister because of me. I feel like if I started flirting with this girl or fucking her it would suck for my sister
Vermillion-Rx Admin 4d ago
Why the fuck would you want to?
Show up, get paid. Leave.
If one hits you up AFTER threy graduate than whatever, they wanted you the whole time. Don't shit at your position
Don't get your ass kicked out of med school
medstudentgerman2002 4d ago
I‘m not too worried about that. I‘m not in the US and metoo isn’t really a thing here nearly as much plus they can’t kick me out of med school.
Vermillion-Rx Admin 4d ago
You really don't think one of your students could drag your tep through the mud on this? You do you but this seems poorly thought out
Musicgoon78 2 4d ago
I think you have a good chance at a metoo allegation. Don't shit where you eat. Go find other women in other locations. You really don't want to be known as the creepy grooming tutor.
medstudentgerman2002 4d ago
I‘m a 3rd year student. I‘m worried about how people would view me but nobody is going to think "creepy grooming tutor"
SwarmShawarma 4d ago
Till first allegation everyone will praise you as the best tutor they ever had.
But well, exp is best learned on mistakes
In school building?
Being in position of tutor >>> power be strict ass fuck, made them do stuff for you (strictly non sexual) mix it with homework so it doesn't come as autistic (learn all the leg rib bone names, and b6 the way my under ribs area needs cheesecake see what you can do about it) .
At the very least you'll learn to dominate.
The most willing and obedient will come to the surface.
Musicgoon78 2 4d ago
Cool story bro. Groom away then.....
mattyanon Admin 4d ago
Weekend drinks
Problematic_Browser 1 4d ago
This is going to backfire in the most spectacular manner.
Hopefully you'll learn not to think with your cock after this.
First-light 4d ago
Universities are full of woke bullshit these days. When I was a student and lodged with a medical student, the student tutors were all getting their pick of the freshmen. The girls loved it. Hell the first week of the university year was informally called FAF week "Fuck a fresher week". A famous author once commented that if students were banned from sleeping with tutors half the university would be celibate. These days there is all this nonsense about not abusing "positions of power" and a lot of fun is outlawed. Women love to seduce men in positions of power that they should not be allowed to have -look at all the priests who attract women.
First off you would need to be sure of the culture in your university. You would need to talk to a superior about whether it would be OK., maybe check with 2 of them. If its not OK just forget it.
If it is OK, then you don't flirt with them. You just give off high value and professionalism. The game is that you are unavailable ....but they just might get you. So when she says "we can't make out because you are my tutor you say "Of course not" just a little too seriously. Then she flirts with you and you are totally professional except just drop the odd compliment or let the odd gaze linger. Gradually tension builds up between you and her. She wants you, she thinks you might want her too if only you were not her dammed tutor. Then one night at a party she gets a bit hands on after a few drinks and you go with it. She was clearly the aggressor. In the morning its "oh dear we shouldn't have let that happen ...but it was good... I guess we have got to carry on all professional now" Your reputation is not that of the creepy teacher. If nothing happens between you but the tension is there, you can go back to it as soon as you stop being her tutor.
Look at the job as being like a wedding ring. It means you shouldn't but it makes you pre approved as high value and a target. They come to you.