What I mean to say is that I have absolutely zero filter these days. It's bordering on autism and seduction extremism.
I'm not an inexperienced guy. I've mentioned this in several posts here in the past but because I haven't dated in a while, I've basically untrained myself in how to be smooth.
I will just more or less say the first thing that comes to my head, although it's always tongue in cheek and said with a bit of humour - it is usually blunt and straight to the point and it's getting me obviously no results.
The strange thing is that I used to be quite forward when I was successful, although I think I had more tact about me and understood how to build tension and even took the time to do that, but I'm not sure. I can't quite remember either.
Anyone know where I'm coming from?
AbusiveFather1 2d ago
Maybe you just don’t care anymore. Maybe you have something going on in your life that you subconsciously know is a higher priority, so much so that you shouldn’t be messing with women right now
MidgetSpinner 2d ago
I think I'm just retarded now, bro. Honestly.
MrSupreme 2d ago
The answer is calibration,you already know the problem and the result is you not getting any success. Light hearted humor, small detail oriented chats, something not sledgehammery.
Chit chat with people is nice practice but its better to get chatting with women calibrating your game and being in aware of the moment and see what is working and what isnt
Vermillion-Rx Admin 2d ago
Mf you beat me to it!
MrSupreme 2d ago
There's a new sheriff in town
Vermillion-Rx Admin 2d ago
Ah dangit :(
You can be the new admin then, time to hang up my flair
@redpillschool
MidgetSpinner 2d ago
Yer gettin slow, Sherriff. Just a matter of time till you slip up
Vermillion-Rx Admin 2d ago
Some of you guys are really overthinking what your problems are.
"My problem is X"
No. Your problem is not X. Your problem is merely a symptom of not being socially calibrated. Read the room. Read the level of rapport you have a with a woman. Read the level of perceived interest she might have as a baseline towards you. Read the history you two have even if it's 5 minutes of chatting up to the second you escalated. Run through a couple options real quick before acting on one.
Adjust your risk/reward strategy accordingly and be willing to accept the losses more the risk goes up.
Some of you guys are going to consistently have X problem because you are not adjusting the underlying issue. Next time it's Y problem and then Z problem because you won't fix your base issue if social calibration and room reading.
MidgetSpinner 2d ago
It is 100% a lack of social calibration. I'm not lacking boldness or confidence, but as AbusiveFather said, there's also a factor of me not caring as much these days.
I'll give you an example of what I mean by a sledgehammer:
Random cute girl appears
Me with a grin: "I'm feeling chilly, come and warm my bed tonight"
That's a dumb example, and it's usually contextual but I don't even really bother to say hey or warm them up first anymore. I'm just straight in. I realise it's retarded and old me would laugh at it. It's like I'm trying to get losses almost.
This sort of approach worked for me in the past, but I think I knew when to deploy it. My instincts were sharp. These days I'm like Kim Jong Un with a big red button.
NeoSpartan 2d ago
Going from 0 to 10 will almost never work.
Yeah you need to brush up on your female talking skills bro. Ease them into it, nothing wrong with a innuendo joke here and there but it rarely works as an opener outside of bars and clubs.
Start at 1-3, build up from there.
Where are you trying to meet girls? The venue matters a lot. A supermarket or hobby club is going to require a much diff approach than a rave or club, for example.
MidgetSpinner 2d ago
Okay, 1-3. I can do that. I'm like Neo right now, but I haven't remembered yet.
Neo from the Matrix BTW, not Neo Spartan just incase anyone is confused haha.
This is primarily with girls online. I should have also clarified that in my post. When I meet girls in person, the risk/reward factor comes much more into play but I can be just as bold.
And also, I will add that because I am not as calibrated lately due to time away from dating, it's harder for me to gauge how attracted a girl is to me unless it's very obvious. That instinct used to be fine tuned. I could tell if a girl was into me from a mile out, now I need a gigantic magnifying glass.
redhawkes 2 2d ago
If you don't use it, you lose it.
Maybe you're doing the same thing like before, but your SMV is nuked now and you get different feedback. Just visualize some successful approach and reflect on what you did in the past, then apply it.
MidgetSpinner 2d ago
SMV is definitely what you could consider nuked, but I'm not homeless or ugly yet. There's still hope.
redhawkes 2 2d ago
When I said SMV, I mean looks mainly.
MidgetSpinner 1d ago
Oh well then it must be social issue because I don't look bad, and I'm in shape.