This is the first post in a new series “RPW 101”, a recurring feature that will explore core Red Pill concepts as they apply to women and provide direction on successfully incorporating these ideas into your life. These posts are especially suited for single women, women under 20, parents seeking to instill RP principles into their daughters and new subscribers to the subreddit. That being said, everyone is welcome to read, discuss, and ask follow up questions in the comment section.
Feminism has permeated mainstream society to the point where myths of equality, empowerment and entitlement shape even the self-improvement resources available to women. Rarely are women encouraged to embrace their nature; androgynous appearance and masculine behaviours are perpetuated as ideal for all. This is an enormous disadvantage to women who don’t have positive female role models in their lives because once discovering the truth about gender differences, there are very few places where women can receive legitimate advice regarding self-improvement. While there are an overwhelming amount of websites that provide information on makeup, fashion, flirting and other elements of girl game, there is a noticeable lack of quality materials that focus on the most important factor when it comes to attracting and gaining commitment from high quality men: a feminine disposition. Developing your femininity is a critical first step on the road to permanent change. It makes you pleasant to be around, and creates harmony in romantic relationships as men can effortlessly assume their natural role. In line with this, the first post in the series “RPW 101” will center on cultivating a feminine frame of mind. Once this foundation is laid, it will be easier to identify areas to improve in your own life and begin the process of adopting new habits and traits.
Before delving in to the characteristics that make one feminine, it is important to dispel some false definitions that are popular today.
- Femininity is not a weakness. To put it simply, men and women are different. Each gender has positives, negatives, roles and responsibilities that complement the other beautifully. When these innate distinctions are embraced, both men and women are happier and more successful, going even further in life than they would have otherwise.
- Femininity has nothing to do with being a doormat. Submission within your relationship is not equivalent to being walked over or mistreated. It means trusting your man to lead, deferring to his decisions and supporting him in the way he needs. It means being less aggressive, combative, snarky, and sour. Outside of a relationship, being feminine isn’t the same as letting everyone do whatever they want, simply because you’re a girl. Striking a balance between politeness, respect and assertiveness is key in everyday interactions.
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Femininity is not acting ditzy or dumb. You do not have to act less capable than you are to be feminine. Men are not sexually attracted to intelligence, and are put off by argumentative know-it-alls, but this does not mean that you have to limit yourself if you are an intellectual. The way you express yourself: tone, facial expression, vocabulary, etc. is extremely important. These determine how others will receive you.
- Femininity is not dressing up or being “girly”. A lot of women seem to think that altering their wardrobe, makeup or hair is sufficient when it comes to making changes. But no amount of skirts, blush or bows will make you feminine if you lack the disposition. Femininity is expressed through appearance but appearance is not the source of femininity. If you haven’t internalised the concepts, you are merely playing dress up. There are no shortcuts.
So what is a feminine woman?
- Yielding: submitting and/or relinquishing oneself over to a higher power. Too often women vie for dominance within a relationship, stirring up drama instead of simply allowing their man to lead. “Allowing” does not mean giving the man permission to lead, it means stepping out of the way so that he can step up. How to be more yielding? Let go of the need to control everything. Say yes more. Be open and flexible to other ideas. Be more generous with what you give.
- Receptive: being open, interested and responsive to new ideas or suggestions. Don’t immediately shoot down other’s statements or insist that your way is always the best way. Keep in mind that you don’t know everything -- humility is key. Create situations where others can share something they enjoy with you.
- Supportive: providing sympathy, reassurance, information or help. On a daily basis you should be offering positive encouragement, listening more than you speak, and building others up with your words. Within a relationship, let your love motivate you to assist, surprise, and satisfy him regularly. Don’t keep score of who is doing what for whom, simply focus on the ways you can enhance his life. Expectations are nothing more than future disappointments.
- Pleasant: socially adept, agreeable, and enjoyable. Everyone, especially high value men, would rather spend time with a friendly and happy woman over someone who is mean or dull. If you want to light up a room simply laugh and smile, easily and often. Make sure your body language is open (hands facing outward, no crossing arms, no frowning, no hunching, etc.). Tell jokes; don’t take everything so seriously. Speak highly of others both in their presence and when they’re not there. And most importantly, don’t whine or complain; entitlement is not attractive.
- Empathetic: directly identifying with and vicariously experiencing another’s emotions, situation and motives. Female solipsism is very real and it can prevent harmony within relationships when a woman refuses to consider other perspectives than her own. To combat this, consciously seek to understand where others are coming from and allow this to shape your assessment of the person. This means considering how other people would want you to respond, act, or treat them in a situation, not projecting how you would want someone to respond, act, or treat you in that same situation.
- Poised: composed, dignified and self-assured. Always carry yourself with purpose and distinction. This means proper posture, presenting yourself well (a subject of future RPW 101 posts), speaking clearly and in a light tone, and not chattering aimlessly. Don’t feel obligated to fill silences.
As I have said elsewhere in this subreddit, the best way to attract someone of high value is to become someone of high value. Take the time to develop new traits, don’t get frustrated if it is more difficult than you anticipated, and don’t get conceited if you see the results that you want quickly. Authentic transformation can only occur if you legitimately want to improve, and put in the requisite time and effort. Female SMV peaks early, so it is important to maximize your attractiveness while you can, inside and out. This all starts with cultivating a feminine frame of mind, as outlined in this post, but self-improvement is a lifelong journey.
Further Reading:
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A beautiful blog post on the necessity, and lack of femininity in society, as well as the impact this has on men.
- A classic post about female nature.
sindymoor 10y ago
Thank you for putting together such a helpful guide! I especially enjoyed your comment on "dressing up".
I definitely need to work on yeilding. Being in the beginning of this journey, handling over control and trusting him to take responsibility definitely is the hardest for me.
LadyLumen 10y ago
Just put this page in my favorites. I think I need to repeat these steps to myself everyday. I'm very stubborn and independent, so internalizing these values will be good for me.
The point about submission is interesting. Let's say that you have a boss at work, and let your boss be in charge. This doesn't mean that you are being submissive and letting your boss walk all over you and treat you like a doormat. It just means that you acknowledge that they are the boss. Now, if your boss started to act in an inappropriate way you would warn them a couple of times and then leave when they didn't heed your warnings.
Marriage and relationships should be the same way. You can acknowledge that your man is the boss, let him lead, without being treated like crap. And if he does start to treat you like crap, warn him a couple of times, and if he's not manly enough to lead without treating his partner like a victim, then it is time to leave.
LadyLumen 10y ago
It's amazing how appealing a feminine woman can be to a man, especially after being around a bunch of masculine women all the time. I remember me and an old boyfriend were on a cruise once. There was a 30 something year old Slavic waitress on the cruise that my boyfriend just seemed very attracted to. She was about 10 years old than him and average looking, but she had a sort of feminine charm that is unseen in the west.
I didn't blame him either. I can understand what that must be like. I mean, as a woman, how would I feel if EVERY man around me acted like one of my girlfriends and then the only time I can even meet a masculine man is if he's from another country.
SoftHarem 10y ago
I'll speak for all men. Any woman who internalizes these concepts and also puts equal effort into her appearance will not be on the market long. Ladies, this is a really good time to shine. The bar has been set so low by feminism that any sort of genuine femininity stands out quite strongly. If you've been on the fence about becoming more of an RPW this is the time to commit. Great post.
LadyLumen 10y ago
Very true. I bet if even a woman 35+ internalized these qualities, she could still find a man pretty quickly. Not necessarily a man who would have kids with her, but a man nonetheless.
SoftHarem 10y ago
Absolutely. Even though female SMV peaks young, it is never too late to improve yourself. Attractive people date attractive people, nothing revolutionary about that.
Camille11325 10y ago
Excellent points, thank you so much! It's great to have feedback from men confirming these ideas.
I agree that adopting the characteristics outlined in this post will push any woman far above her peers. I am appalled at how normalised rudeness, selfishness and other ugly personality traits have become amongst women. At the same time, I am relieved that there are changes that can be applied at the individual level to reverse this sickening trend. And, I am honored to have the opportunity to be part of the solution.
PhantomDream09 10y ago
Camille, I actually read this last night before I went to sleep. You did a fantastic job on this post! I will be adding it to the side-bar, and as your series grows, we'll make a new section there called "RPW 101" or something along those lines.
Well done!
Camille11325 10y ago
Thank you so much /u/PhantomDream09! I am so excited about the future of the series, and incredibly grateful to have been selected for it :)
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Engineergirl22 10y ago
Thank you so much for posting this. This has all been stuff that I have been trying to incorporate into my life so this a great resource to have for all of us newer girls.
Camille11325 10y ago
You're welcome! Best of luck with your self improvement plans, be sure to update the community on your progress :)
Engineergirl22 10y ago
I definitely will!
Lady_Motido 10y ago
This should be placed in the sidebar. Looking forward to reading the next installment :)
LadyLumen 10y ago
Ditto!
Camille11325 10y ago
Thank you! I'm going to try to do them on a weekly basis, so look out for #2 sometime next week.
[deleted] 10y ago
This is so outstanding that I don't even know what to say
Camille11325 10y ago
Oh my gosh thank you so much! So glad you like it!
BorMato 10y ago
Not to speak for all men, but everything listed here is gold in terms of maintaining a solid relationship. These are the reasons I love my girlfriend.
Camille11325 10y ago
Thank you and hooray for having a feminine girlfriend! It's always a good thing when these ideas are confirmed in real life.
Pandora023 10y ago
Thank you so much for posting this, I have been working in this lately and it is very helpful :)
Camille11325 10y ago
You're welcome!!
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Camille11325 10y ago
Thank you so much, I had a lot of fun working on it :)
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LadyLumen 10y ago
Very true. The only feminine thing women in the west do these days is dress more feminine when they feel like it. It really is more like playing dress up than an actual lifestyle.
Camille11325 10y ago
Thank you! That point is actually my favourite one in the entire post. It's one of the biggest misconceptions around so I may do an entirely new post centered around that idea in the future, we'll see.
[deleted] 10y ago
Great read. Wonderful reminder. R.Y.S.P.E.P. Thank you for posting.
Camille11325 10y ago
You're welcome! Thank you for taking the time to read it!
JustAnne 10y ago
bookmarked! and thanks for all the links. :)
Camille11325 10y ago
Of course :) glad you found it helpful!
gabilromariz 10y ago
This has been a lovely read! I can't wait to see what else is coming! This has been extremely thorough and the specific points help recognize when I'm in the wrong and correct it quickly from now on.
Every time an interaction seems to be taking a bad turn I can stop and think to myself: Wait, what am I doing wrong, let's check RYSPEP. Am I being receptive? And so on :)
Camille11325 10y ago
It warms my heart to hear how you'll be implementing the information in this post! The acronym is way cool and I'm sure it will help you and others many times in the future :)
gabilromariz 10y ago
I've already recomended it to another user. The acronym is an easy way to take a break from a troubling situation and check if you're acting in the best way :)
Kittenkajira 10y ago
What is RYSPEP?
gabilromariz 10y ago
Receptive, Yielding, Suportive, Pleasant, Empathetic and Poised. The acronym makes it easier to remember all and check one by one until I'm sure I'm acting the best way I can
Kittenkajira 10y ago
Thanks!
TempestTcup 10y ago
Excellent - stickied!
Camille11325 10y ago
Yay thank you!!
nathanpaulyoung 10y ago
I just entered a new relationship, and I'm delighted to say that, of what I know of her this early on, she meets this bill to a T. She's genuinely great to be around.
Camille11325 10y ago
Awesome :) Hope you've read the LTR series by /u/occamsusername (check his post history) it will help you be the best leader, and preserve all that you like about your relationship.