Mostly thinking in a kinda lighthearted, teasing sense. Like suggesting to your man that that woman at the store was “totally interested, like who wouldn’t be ☺️” type thing.
This did come to mind though thinking about a past relationship where I’d told a guy I’d been with a few years that I used to be very jealous, but felt much more comfortable as our relationship had gone on. He took this a bit negatively, that it meant I cared less or found him less attractive or something. We were both very young and obviously I won’t base every relationship off one thing a 19-year-old told me. But it did stick with me—like, my “jealousy” was never an issue as I had kept it to myself, the issue was only when he learned I once felt that way but didn’t anymore.
My gut says that was just a 19 y.o. being 19 and I can discard from future reference, but I’m curious what experience you all might have with this.
CountTheBees 2y ago
Good question, let me think. In my experience - when expressing jealous sentiments to LTRs I have only ever had good responses - they were pleased/amused that I was jealous. Maybe because I am not a jealous person and I don't express it negatively.
Anyway I'd say things like "Hey. No other girls. Only me." when he mentioned a female boss displaying favouritism towards him. And followed with lots of affection like rubbing my head on his chest, as if I'm trying to distract him from other girls by being super sweet. It was mostly in jest, ie I didn't actually feel threatened (he said she was very unattractive). I think a few mate guarding behaviours every now and then are not a bad thing, especially as a playful bonding activity. It reinforces my desire for him, and lets him know that I think other women *are* interested in him, which boosts his ego.
In your story - probably what made him feel bad was the idea that you thought he couldn't get other women and therefore you had nothing to fear. Ie what he was probably thinking was, "she thinks I'm such a
safe guyloser that no other women would have me". Which is a massive hit to his ego; every guy wants to feel like all the women want him all the time even if he doesn't like them back.Maybe, also, men in general tend to be more jealous the further they get into a relationship. Especially if they've got their heart set on you and feel protective of you. If a guy is only interested in you as a casual fling then he won't feel jealous/will hate you being jealous. But if he's heavily invested then he will understand that emotion completely, and may see it as unbalanced if he's jealous but you're not.