A generic answer to shit tests I haven't seen mentioned is this: repeat what they just said (works better if that was a question) with a puzzled look, as if they had said the weirdest thing. It's a variation on a typical politician trick. Repeating the question/statement gives you more time to process it and react appropriately.

• Buy you a drink ... now why would I do that?

• Do I have a girlfriend? Why do you ask, are you offering your services?

• How many girls have I slept with? Why, is this a contest?

• Do I say that to all the girls? Well, do you ask that to all the guys?

I don't know if it's the most effective way to answer, but it gives you some breathing room if you're not sure what to do.

Also one trick that works really well that I've picked up from a GM PUA is to reply outrageously and then soften it slightly with a half-assed "nah I'm kidding." ("Buy me a drink" "No way, you need to watch those calories. Nah I'm kidding, you're fine. I'll let you buy me a drink.")

Whenever I agree and amplify, it turns into a derogatory reference to a body part and I'm a pervert.

Cracking stuff as usual. As an addendum, here's a link to Chateau Heartiste's Super shit-test list. Another great read that is very relevant here.

Beyond that, I'm interested in discussing a couple of areas of this.

In further example, interviews are essentially a collection of shit tests.

That's an oversimplification. I used to do it, so trust me, it's not. However for the purpose of this..

The “name your biggest weakness” shit test seems to be a question that continuously protrudes and persists with employers nowadays.

That's true. However the alpha response you suggest would stick you straight at the bottom of my list. Having run recruitment campaigns in the past, I'm not joking. Responding like that will NOT help your case, and in likelihood will lose you the job. Thinking back on those days, I'd say the majority of interviewers are looking for a mixture of alpha and beta. Alpha enough to take responsibility and work independently where needed, but beta enough to know their place in the pecking order and submit to those higher up the totem poll (which whoever is interviewing you, most likely is.)

Once you get caught in a web of shit testing, you will often find yourself justifying your choices and explaining your actions, which wins you no respect and just digs an even deeper hole. Non-Machiavellian logic fails in handling shit tests, people do not respect rationality, they respect only indications of high status. Explaining yourself, no matter how rational your explanation is will be perceived as a demonstration of low status.

I think is a bit of an oversimplification. I've got an example, but it will need some context (so settle in.) Recently I watched the Question Time episode in the UK where Russell Brand and Nigel Farage appeared. The whole show is effectively the panel justifying their views/actions/policies whatever, to the people in the audience. As you can imagine, different sides of the press were declaring different winners. I found it fascinating from an argumentation formation perspective because Brand is an exceptional example of pure rhetoric with no substance. (As expected the press who declared Farage the winner jumped on the fact that there was no logic or analysis or rational thought process behind Brand's arguments.) Everything was pure rhetoric, but despite this he got the biggest applauses of the evening by far. The reason? Rhetoric is the part of argumentation that connects emotionally with the audience.

Nigel Farage is not particularly good at rhetoric. However, when you place him next to someone like Russell Brand, you see his style as the sort of charmless logician. (He could almost be considered to relish the role.) Yet he too received many loud rounds of applause for calmly and carefully laying out a strong logical basis for what he concludes. This demonstrates that in general social context... people won't always side with Brand, with the shit test passing rhetoric. Some will reject it in favour of logic and rational deduction.

From the point of view of argument skill, the height of strong argumentation is to balance fact, principle, logic and rhetoric equally. I've seen time and again that the people who are best at this will sway far more people to their view, whatever it may be. Essentially I think you may have opened up the scope of the article a little too widely in that area.

For the married guys in here, I'll add one thing that I learned from experience: If you're faced with passive-aggressive behaviour, ignoring it will, at best, postpone the problem. Passive aggression isn't the same thing as a veiled shit test. The entire purpose of being passive-aggressive is to niggle at you until either you become cowed by guilt and fear of disapproval, or until you set some boundaries.

You have to confront passive-aggressive behaviour, preferably immediately. When you do so, be firm but not aggressive or angry. Make sure you shoot down any denials (e.g. "I didn't mean to hurt you"). Also, don't let her flip the script back on you. If she tries to deflect with something like how you don't do enough dishes, you can say something like "We're not talking about dishes. We're talking about [Insert passive-aggressive action].

Set limits and follow through. Make sure that she knows that further behaviour like that will not be tolerated. Also tell her that if if there is a problem, she is to state it to you directly.

In my case, about an hour after the discussion, she asked me to apologize for getting upset with her. The absurdity of the situation got the better of me and I let a chuckle slip out. Then I told her that she was the one in the wrong, so she will be doing the apologizing. She did. One year in, and that was the last passive-aggressive snipe I have ever dealt with from her.

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As always you bring an intelligence that is rarely matched in this wide discussion of ours.

Your insight is the result of obvious testing and real life moments of pressure and provide a much needed commodity.

I have recommended your writing and website to countless men and will continue to do so.

"Name your biggest weakness."

Well, maybe my biggest weakness is that I don't believe I should answer a question just because someone asked me.

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Shroedingers Boyfriend PERFECTLY encapsulates that whole concept... gonna steal

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High-quality stuff as usual.

Informative, elaborate and amusing. I lost it at "Schrödinger's boyfriend".

Thanks for sharing. Looking forward to read about DT shit-testing.

Finally an article that explains shit testing in depth without just regurgitating the same old material and examples that you see all over the other blogs and forums. This is a must read for anyone who is trying to improve their social game.

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This is good stuff.

I've noticed that shit tests are inversely proportional to your smv with guys and girls. The higher your SMV is - the less girls will shit test you and the more mistakes can be made. The opposite is true with guys. The more SMV you have (and the other guy is not your buddy or friend) the more of a threat you are perceived as - If your SMV is low, the guy can write you off but if it's high, the shit testing can become pretty intense initially until you prove yourself. Experienced this myself firsthand last weekend. Curious if this is a trend or a one time thing.

“How many girls have you slept with?”

I used to get this one a fucking ton, I have a few favourites I whipped up. Usually would go like this:

Her: “How many girls have you slept with?”
Me: "Today?" cheeky grin
Her: "Well...how many??"
Me: "I haven't met my quota today, don't worry, you still have a chance"
Her: "Come on! Tell me!"
Me: "You really think about sex a lot, don't you?" or "Is that all I am to you, a sexual object?" either said with a grin

If you're spinning girls, guaranteed this will be the number one shit test.

I am a college student and have been reading up on red pill. One shit test I am wondering about is girls asking to buy you a drink.

So the one I hear is you buy me a drink you think ill like and ill buy you one i think youll like.

Well that is good and all, but the bars have 19 age requirement, so you can come in at 19, but cant buy beer until 21. So when you pull that line, she could say that she cant since she is under 21.

What would be a good response?

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What...? Never give a serious answer to the question "How many women have you been with". Even if it's high. That is a well known RP no-no.

Edit: It's even one of Rollo's iron rules http://therationalmale.com/2011/11/22/youve-been-with-how-many-girls/

Wow, I realize I have failed shit tests consistently and hard my entire life. In fact, I'm thinking that all of the hardships in my life may be derived from falling shit tests.

I wonder how I'll handle them now, armed only with the knowledge of what they are. I'm a very literal person, maybe a bit autistic of center, and I think just having a framework for understanding these will benefit immensely. Now it will be a matter if putting myself into situations to practice.

One question: is there any other phase besides "shit test"? What do, say, sociologists call that kind of challenging behavior?

This was exactly what I wanted. I've been struggling to understand the 'shit test' but after reading this I feel like I have a much better understanding.

What's the difference between shit-tests and teasing? When I'm with my guy friends and we see each other, we usually like to tease each other about what's happening in our lives.

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Another great article, good stuff to think about.

 Explaining yourself, no matter how rational your explanation is will be perceived as a demonstration of low status. Do not justify yourself, if you find yourself explaining yourself in the midst of an argument or theatrical device, you’re losing and would be far better off just immediately exiting stage instead.

I hope more men who are on TRP come to realize this as it makes a lot of interactions easier. II see quite a few posts on /r/asktrp dealing with guys who lost frame by explaining themselves to their women.

I'd like to hear more about passing nuclear shit tests. In my BP days I ignored them or approached them way too rationally. Now I'd just dump her. I think there's a middle ground I'm missing

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I'm only halfway through (will finish later tonight), but this should absolutely be sidebar material.

Dude, how do you know so much?!

This is, straight-up, the best analysis of shit tests I've ever seen, with masterful insights into social dynamics sprinkled liberally throughout.

Excerpts:

Those who consider themselves “a bullshit free zone,” eg: masculine men will “ball bust” [...] quite relentlessly to determine “just how much of a man you are.” If you are an effeminate or timid man, you will feel bullied rather than challenged, and that tells the group everything they need to know about you. You will fail to understand that what you are experiencing is a social initiation ritual that all men must go through when they are new to a male-dominated group. You will be relentlessly ridiculed to determine what you’re like and where you fit in on the pecking order. If you are too reactive, you will be rejected and exiled from the group, or relegated to the bottom position as the emotional punch bag everybody ridicules for cheap laughs. To avoid finding yourself condemned to such a fate you must demonstrate you can spar verbally without taking anything to heart.

...

Shit tests are used to “determine your frame.” Frame is a manospherian concept which essentially means “composure and self-control.”

...

If you can keep composure/seem unfazed and/or assert your boundaries despite a shit test, generally speaking you will be considered to have passed said shit test. If you get upset, offended, doubt yourself or show weakness in any other way when shit tested, then generally speaking it is considered you have failed the test. I will surmise this section of the article with a valuable conclusion: passing shit tests psychologically raises your perceived social value to the person testing you, failing shit tests psychologically lowers your perceived social value to the person testing you. Pass people’s shit tests to garner popularity and social success, fail them and you will become an ostracised outcast.

...

Shit tests can be passed in a multitude of ways, so even when passing it’s not strictly a matter of “whether you passed or not” but just as important is “how you passed.” For example, people with a good sense of humour tend to accept negative labels and make jokes out of them, we call this “agree and amplify.” Mentally violent people tend to quickly find a flaw in the person attacking them and deflect by associating the shit test with a weakness perceived in the original tester, thus attempting to humiliate them. We call that a pressure flip.

....

As you may have noticed from the repertoire of woman’s bog standard run-of-the-mill shit tests, they are incredibly fixated on discerning whether or not you are a beta (guy who doesn’t get laid much, if at all.) If in doubt, err towards being an asshole. Being identified as a beta dries up panties quicker than you can boil an egg in a Sahara sauna. If you show boldness and exude a “I will mockingly bullshit you” kind of attitude, you’ll do just fine.

...

As a rule of thumb, the more messed up the individual is, the higher the stakes are, or the higher value the person you’re dealing with; the more severely you will be shit tested. EG: CEOs will shit test harder and more frequently than office assistants, women with daddy issues will shit test more than women who had stable relationships with their fathers.

...

When you’re powerful, other people see opportunities in attempting to bring you down a notch or two [...] It is for this reason that the art of silence -- ignoring your enemies overtly -- is a necessary skillset that all men looking to preserve their accumulated power should master and employ with regularity. It is simple, when you feel someone provoking a response from your ego, interject your emotions with the question “is there a way for me to benefit from responding to this?” if the answer is no, then replying is pointless [...] people do not respect rationality, they respect only indications of high status. Explaining yourself, no matter how rational your explanation is, will be perceived as a demonstration of low status. Do not justify yourself; if you find yourself explaining yourself in the midst of an argument or theatrical device, you’re losing and would be far better off just immediately exiting stage instead.

...

Dark triad shit tests will be the topic of a future article.

Looking forward to it.

“I have a boyfriend!” – Translation: I have Schrödinger’s boyfriend, demonstrate to me you’re high value and I’ll fuck you regardless. It is hilarious when they say this. “What boyfriend, your imaginary one?” – Then laugh in her face.

Thank you for this. Schrödinger's boyfriend. That's the name for that girlgame-move. Mentally noted.

Your link is 404.

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I usually enjoy your work but I had to stop at "intricately unavoidable."

I like that he puts an index. Awesome.

The best part about this whole thing is right there at the start. Shit tests are used by everybody, everyday. Hell, for the longest time I had no idea what they were but I used them anyways. I can look back at nights out at the bar or a party and meeting other guys. One of the first things I usually do is bust his balls and see how he reacts. That's a shit test right, I'm giving him shit to test what kind of a person he is.

To understand shit tests, you have to understand how you yourself use them. The most perfect examples are the ones you created.

This should replace the shit tests link on the side bar, or at least be added to it.

Good Stuff, Illimitablemen. I thoroughly enjoy reading your articles, including all the stuff on dark triad etc. Though I understand almost all redpill theory, I just didnt understand shit tests that well. I tried, but it just didn't stay. This should be on the sidebar because I feel it can explain the concept of shit tests better than most other stuff I've read on the subject. Now I will know what shit tests are, what the tester wants and I will be able to confront some of them. Hats off, sir.

I both love and dislike shit tests, it means they're still interested. Plus, it keeps you on your toes because they're a fact of life, shit tests will never go away. I'm tested by both men and women.

"You should get a girlfriend, you can't just use vaseline all winter." My favorite.

(Pause for a second, I was thinking about what to say. She got me good there.). "... Says you," keeps eating lunch, ignoring her stares.

"Say if you were older and you were dating a younger woman, wouldn't you pay part of her tuition?" (Hell no.)

"Does she not know what student loan is?"

"What if she never qualified for a student loan."

"... No. That means she has bad credit."

"This is why I don't date younger men!"

"Definitely not as attractive as men with canes and life insurance."

"How big is your buddy(dick)?

"Show me you arm." (measured with her entire arm, it wasn't accurate at all. but she found out later on)

"Your hair is kind of thinning at the top, kind of like a bald spot."

"At least mine's is real." (She's black.)

"N-no! I just use extensions from time to time."

"Uh huh."

It's more fun to act like a borderline dick, only increasing your dickishness when she's being a dick.

It is great. I read it whole and it's finnaly great post about shit test.

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worth stickying, if not already done so

About 1/3 a way through so far. Your subtle humor is hilarious!

This is a great post , thanks for sharing it .

The full write-up mentioned watching stand-up comics to build wit and get comfortable with freestyle improvisation conversation.

Anything specific you would recommend, especially useful for a non-westerner?

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Great, except for with some girls these are NOT shit tests, they actually want to know things like how many you are dating. I dated a Latina this year and the first night she asked me how many I'm dating, and we only had about 4 dates but the questions kept coming and she was relentless every time until I gave an actual answer, it can be pretty maddening and beyond just shit testing sometimes.

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Thanks dude. I get shit tested alot.

I usually pass unless it's a highly sexual shit test. Like asking me if I masturbate. If I have sex with my girlfriend ect... I usually don't respond. I don't like talking about sex. I have a girlfriend and just want some friends but can't make any.

Thanks buddy.
How do you tell when it's a shit test and when it isn't ?
One more thing you could add is that someone passing judgement on something you do is a hard challenge on your frame. I find that when you've lost frame or are trying to establish frame, EVERYTHING seems like a shit test.
I'm on the fence between actually my girl seriously and treating her accusations as shit tests. Nothing ever really seems like one though. If shit test = establish her frame, probably always.
One more question, when she's actually on point about something, how do you respond? Take her words seriously? That falls into her frame. Ignore? You're ignoring sound advice, still an effective fail. I think you should err on the take it seriously side.