/u/mallardcove had a good breakdown recently on the aesthetic consequences of alcohol use. It was a good piece, and generated good discussion with not a little hamstering.
I have two paradigms about alcohol in my life that I want to share, one regarding the more normal horrid consequences of alcohol abuse, but the other highlighting some additional, lesser thought through consequences that can be debilitating to a man trying to live the Red Pilled life. Yes, this is largely autobiographical, but I know my story, it fits well, and I've been around a little while by now. General conclusions below, from bold down, and this is exactly about male sexual strategy (along with some illustrative failures).
Just about anyone would call me an alcoholic. I prefer drunkard. The second to the last time I drank, it was X-mas Eve, and I polished off a 12 pack of beer & 2 bottles of wine. Last time I drank was last Friday. 2 beers at home, off to the first bar, then the second bar....I think I spent about $150, 15 beers?, no recollection of getting home. And I'm a little dude, under 170#'s. Saturday I never left bed outside of to drink water and promptly barf it back up. Around 7 that night, I was finally able to keep down water....yes, I was poisoned.
So much for the standard narrative, we all know about what I just described.
My much more insidious experience with alcohol is well exemplified by the last 2 years. My last LTR left summer '16, and while I have a long term FB, /u/vengefully_yours correctly diagnosed me as having oneitis for alcohol a long time ago. Absolutely true. It is really hard to overstate how simple life can be as a drunkard, to organize around alcohol.
Never mind the typical health, professional, and financial impacts of drinking, this second part is nearly as bad. I have had experiences that would make good seducers cringe and incels absolutely green with envy. I have had girls simply sit on my lap at the bar without a word (is that an IOI?) How many opportunities a night have I given up? I shudder to even think about it.
But make no mistake, alcohol makes a drunkard feel great every single goddamned time. And therein lies the rub. Daily, Joe Six Pack level drinking makes it nearly impossible, long term, to truly kick ass. Manage? Function? Sure. Hit personal records? Good luck. The booze always makes you feel fine, but you should not feel fine, you should feel hungry.
I realize I'm not breaking new ground here. We all know about dopamine hits. We all know that it is good to be addicted......to solving math problems, hitting on girls, climbing rocks.....and we all know that things like alcohol, weed, video games, porn, and the like hijack those "good addiction circuits" in order to sell us lies.
And trust me, they are lies. Anything you do to satisfy some externally compulsed addiction is exactly service to a lie. I maintain that alcohol is amongst the most effective of the liars.
This post is meant to commiserate with those who have experienced these things and to warn those who have not. The connection to male sexual strategy should be crystal clear. Swilling beer while watching sportsball and wearing another man's name on your back is absolutely and exactly the fake "Blue Pilled World" trying to seduce you back to her warm bosom.
Lastly, "recovery" is emasculating as hell. Just because I can't drink, it doesn't mean I need to prostrate myself before these fools. It's always, always better to do stuff (Iron Church being on the top of the list, drastically helped me) than not do stuff (if you want to stop drinking, sitting around thinking about not drinking is bad, m'kay?)
INNASKILLZ2K18 5y ago
I'm an addict/alocholic. Clean and sober 3 1/2 years. That shit is just horrible. At least, for us it is. Definitely an entirely different physical reaction to others.
Shit thing is...I have really craved a beer the last few days. For other men, that's like 'yeah, so go have a cold one'. Omg...they have no idea where I could end up.
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SalporinRP 5y ago
I'm 23 and have cut back my drinking to one night out per month pretty much. Only exception really is if there's a big boxing fight me and my buddies get together and crush some beers.
I started to cut back because I was cutting and just wanted to focus on my gains (or keeping them while I cut). I was the type of person to pretty much go out once a week.
The underrated part of not really drinking anymore is I'm now so much more flush with cash. I have so much more disposable income to save/spend on more important shit.
[deleted] 5y ago
Good stuff.....let me be clear, once a week is doable for many guys, just because I fried my brain it doesn't mean yours is fried too.
mrmaldoror 5y ago
Great post.
I'm an alcoholic and don't have any plan to stop.
_A_L_3_X_ 5y ago
its same as everything. a beer every now and then won't hurt you, but excessive drining every day will.
reasonableman1 5y ago
You may not have realized that "Joe Sixpack" doesn't mean he drinks a 6 pack every night. Most everyone cannot do that without sliding into alcoholism.
[deleted] 5y ago
On some level, my point is Joe Sixpack is an alcoholic.....on another level, my point is that alcohol keeps men living the "plow horse" dream.
reasonableman1 5y ago
Nope. You're deluding yourself.
[deleted] 5y ago
Please be more specific.
I am making the claims that 1) enough alcohol, esp. on a daily six pack level, will likely result in alcoholism and 2) alcohol helps keep men under control.
reasonableman1 5y ago
Alcohol is not used to keep anyone under control. No one HAS to drink alcohol and no one has ever made the common man drink alcohol. If anything it's been the opposite. Alcohol is self inflicted. Tons of people never touch the stuff. Many only have one or two beers on a random weekend. No one made you drink.
[deleted] 5y ago
I see exactly where you're coming from, and you have good points.
You are certainly well within your rights to disagree that alcohol is an essential part of Blue Pilled programming.
stat1490 5y ago
Solid post. I have a drinking problem. It affects your gut health, nutrient absorption, SLEEP, blood pressure, stools, high anxiety when not drunk; sexual health, etc etc. It’s poison and can ruin lives.
But It feels so damn good. My favorite benefit: Much lowered inhibition. I approach, flirt, am witty, more attractive body language, teasing, forward, charismatic, all when I’m fairly drunk. I’m more likely to be the center of the social group, and girls are more attracted to me.
My regular personality is higher inhibition. It sucks. I just want the Chad low inhibition without the negative effects, but a very, very large portion of personality and inhibition is genetic.
reneofficial 5y ago
CBD oil (full spectrum) does this for me without the negative consequences. Has me feeling like I found that drug from Limitless.
[deleted] 5y ago
100%. From a blood alcohol concentration of about 0.04 to 0.12 (ish) life is very good. One thing I will say, though, is that chatting girls up is one thing, going for the kill is another, and performing well still another. In one of the two books I trust about alcohol (exactly because they are the opposite of preachy), one of the authors, a MD no less, pointed out times in Irish history where teetotalers were not trusted exactly good Irish boys are supposed to sublimate their sexual urges into booze rather than satisfy them with women.
8380atgmaildotcom 5y ago
It sucks but lack of inhibition is why most people end up wasting away in jail, gambling away, etc.
Two sides to a coin. Natural selection gave you the tools you have. Build upon your strengths
flyinghorse1 5y ago
I've got a similar problem - worsened by the fact that people tell me i'm so fun when i'm drinking.
largepaycheckaddict 5y ago
I had the same experiences. When drunk I’m a different person. More charismatic carefree and fun to be around. When I started drinking in my late 20s that’s when I noticed the potential to be liked by the group.
Nowadays, after years of partying from FOMO, trying to get laid, or do some beta shit like go to hang out with a bunch of drunk drug addict losers... I started to notice “these people don’t give a fuck about me, so why am I trying so hard to be their friend?”
By default I pretty much stopped drinking. I really enjoy just hanging out by myself and spending my free time to learn new things and grow. Its better than farting around on a bar stool like some double digit IQ loser to be honest.
Sumsar01 5y ago
You can get to that state without alcohol. You just need to warm up just like when you train. Try to drink alone or talk about math and computers while drinking and see how social you become. It's not the alcohol that makes you social. You just asocoate being social with alcohol.
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WildPhilosophy 5y ago
If you're anything like me, you only think girls are more attracted to you when you're drunk.
stat1490 5y ago
They are. The results and body language speak for themselves. I have less inhibition, but I’m not completely socially unaware
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henryblazer 5y ago
Is there an alternative to alcohol that gives you the same effects?
stat1490 5y ago
Phenibut but to a lesser extent. And can’t do more than once a week. I’m always on the lookout though
nross368 5y ago
Yeah it's called experience....
vandaalen 5y ago
You should skip it for six months and see for yourself how good that feels compared to drinking.
stat1490 5y ago
I agree. I should take a long break. Maybe quit forever. But even before I drank I was high inhibition and my brain kept getting in my way in social interactions
nross368 5y ago
You'll learn to lower it. It's all mental. I find I'm far better sooner now than buzzed. Can't even compare
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frooschnate 5y ago
Never heard about personality being genetically driven
[deleted] 5y ago
Oh, definitely. I'm the spawn of a 2nd wave man hating lesbian feminist who wanted nothing more than a gay son, and while I admit it's taken me longer than most to knock off the blue, it drove her crazy to the day of her death that not only I wasn't a faggot, I wifed up the first woman who worshiped my cock (0/10, do not recommend)
frooschnate 5y ago
I don’t get what you mean, are you agreeing with me that it sounds like bullshit or countering with your own story?
[deleted] 5y ago
I'm providing an example of what I consider to be genetically driven personality traits. I was "nurtured" to be one way and "natured" the fuck right out.
MagnetoWned 5y ago
You should try smoking weed tbh
KekistanRefugee 5y ago
This. Weed saved me from being an alcoholic
BrownGummyBear 5y ago
2 years alcohol free here, I only use weed and I’m more fit/shredded than when I was in my teens (in my late 20s now). I even lift while medicated and am a cyclist (hence why I’m so ripped currently)
Heizenbrg 5y ago
Do you smoke before going out? What kind of strain and what thc/che ratio? If I smoke I just want to stay inside and chill
BrownGummyBear 5y ago
I exclusively vaporize my ganja. I vape a Sativa strain before working out (I get medicated all day because of some legitimate issues I have, but right before working out I make sure to get extra medicated). The “body mind connection” I get in this state is out of this world, and for some reason I just go beast mode and give it my all every work out so that’s why I keep implementing cannabis as one of my pre workout “supplements” :)
MagnetoWned 5y ago
not that guy, but it sounds like you're new & interested in trying weed. I always smoke before going out (regularly before the gym) they have 3 options you can choose from: indica (relaxed, sleepy) sativa (energetic) hybrid (best of both worlds) I prefer sativa and hybrids, and they have a shit ton of different strains to choose from. Just don't take an edible your first time, edibles hit differently than just smoking would
pinlol 5y ago
weed addiction is for real, though, please bear in mind.
it's a psychological addiction, so there will be no PHYSICAL withdrawals, but withdrawals will be there nontheless.
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it's much easier to quit than anything else, though, and a 1000000 times better than alcohol IMHO
BrownGummyBear 5y ago
physical withdrawals are a thing for HEAVY frequent users. I'm a medical user so I use daily, yet I make sure I take 2-3 tolerance breaks each year in order to keep my tolerance on check. I tend to eat less and have wild/vivid dreams when I take my breaks, so my withdrawals are very manageable compared to some other guys I've met who sweat, vomit and can't eat/sleep when they stop medicating. Cannabis is just like any other drug.
Having said that, compared to alcohol cannabis withdrawals are nothing (an alcoholic that goes cold turkey can die from the withdrawal). Overdosing on cannabis is non-lethal as well, unlike alcohol.
VasiliyZaitzev 5y ago
So, young guys, I get it, there is an age where only "too much" is enough. But you do have to learn to handle alcohol appropriately.
Why?
A. Booze fucks with your gains.
B. Booze makes you more inclined to do dumb shit.
C. You may be indestructible now, but when you drink and drug too much, all of that comes back and lives on your face when you're 40.
D. They call it "rot gut" for a reason.
E. If you are at a social event where you Do Not Want To Fuck Up, set a 1 - 2 drink maximum and then drink club soda with a lime wedge.
F. Nobody ever got promoted at the Office Holiday Party.
G. You will wind up saving $ over the long haul.
H. And quit smoking while you're at it. That shit is the worst (legal) thing you can do to yourself.
frooschnate 5y ago
Happy to say at 19 I never picked up smoking, don’t care for weed that much and I’d rather do edibles or vape, and every time I go out I drink less and less; a lot of the times staying sober.
It’s hard when your friends wanna get shitfaced all the time but you gotta manage.
McVaghunter 5y ago
I thought marriage was the worst legal thing you can do to yourself lol
[deleted] 5y ago
I think this is great advice. I'm not going to project and say just 'cause I can't handle it, that means no one else can. It took a river of IPA's to get to where I am. You're the Corporateland guy....I think not drinking actually arouses at least a hint of suspicion. I am using the "fitness freak" excuse to not drink, and it seems to work well.
VasiliyZaitzev 5y ago
Maybe back in the Mad Men days. Now you can just say ”I’m not feeling it tonight” and everyone’s fine with it. A lot of firms have moved away from parties and now have luncheons or charity events. On the one hand, that kind of sucks. On the other hand, you know I can I get free room and board on the city on your way home. Where I work now, if there is a corporate event and alcohol involved, they will tell you flat out either take an Uber home if you need to, or get a room at the hotel that the event is at, and expense it, no questions asked.
RPSilverfox 5y ago
And if there is a fountain of youth it would have no alcoholic beverages or cigarettes in it, just clean eating, regular workouts and limited sun exposure. Want to look like you’re in your 30s when you’re 50? This is how.
tyronethejabrone 5y ago
I’m trying to get my bronze on though.
Serious note, intermittent fasting is likely on that list
RightHandWolf 5y ago
The biggie is not smoking, and for any female lurkers, I'd like to point out that heavy makeup use is also damaging. My ex-fiance was a true child of the 80's. She drank a pot of coffee a day; she had the Earl Schieb Spray Booth Effect when it came to makeup, and she had one of those Sears & Roebuck tanning lamps from the 70's - you know, the ones that can give you cancer just by being in the same zip code as you.
The real nail in the coffin was the smoking. Even my mom, who smoked 2 packs of unfiltered Pall Malls a day, was taken aback by the ex's smoking. Most smokers do a pretty shallow draw, in that it really is more of an affectation. Just a little Clintonesque puff (but NOT inhaling!) and then right back out. Except the ex really was doing the "breath of the dragon," where she was really sucking it in.
The blue pill dream went bust and a few years later, I was in the grocery store, buying some stuff for Easter. Out of the corner of my eye, I see a very distinctive jacket, olive suede, the only one like it I've ever seen was the one I had bought for the ex. I turned a little, and the owner of the jacket got very, very interested in that week's copy of People.
Hmmm . . . I paid for my stuff, and gosh, darn it, I was almost to the door when I dropped my keys. It was her. She would've been a few months shy of 29, but she looked like she was in her 40's.
Me? I gave up drinking at 34. I never really did the coffee binging, and except for the handful of cheap cigars I puffed on while playing cards with some friends in my late teens and early 20's, I never smoked. I'm 52 and have been told I can pass for late 30's or early 40's.
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RightHandWolf 5y ago
I was what they refer to as "high functional." I never missed work; I could still do some pretty intricate electro-mechanical assembly work in a clean room environment. I never drank before work, but I still got some suspicious looks. Why? Because in a clean room, it doesn't matter if it's 80 degrees with 70% humidity, you are required to wear long sleeve shirts and long pants to work.
Then, you have to suit up. Paper slippers over the street shoes. Then, a Tyvek coverall. Tyvek over boots that attach to the legs of the coverall. A hairnet, followed by a Tyvek hood, which gets tucked into the neck of the coverall and zipped up. Safety goggles and bump cap finish off the top. Last, there are nylon gloves that go on the hands, and a pair of powder free nitrile gloves on top of that. You are almost completely encapsulated, and it gets warm even with the AC. Start working, and you will be sweating freely. Towards the end, I was drinking so much the night before, that my sweat had an alcohol odor to it working the 2-10PM shift.
"The end" very nearly was the end. I had the shakes, the auditory hallucinations, and the tunnel vision. I very nearly died. I woke up the morning after and was interviewed by three doctors. They asked if I knew where I was and how I had gotten there. They asked me about my alcohol consumption and whether or not I thought I had a problem. I told them the truth, which meant admitting to chugging anywhere from a case to a case-and-a-half a day. The doc in the middle must have drawn the short straw, because he started explaining to me about elevated triglyceride levels being a good indicator of some heavy duty liver damage. He then told me point-blank to get some treatment, since if I kept on going on like that, I'd most likely be dead within a year.
That was March 12, 2001. I went to AA, I got a sponsor, and I did the 12 steps. Did the residential treatment facility thing, and got hired on for a while. Got sober and have stayed sober ever since. Even during the Summer and Fall of 2009, when I lost both of my parents within the space of 3 months. That's my standard when it comes to "maintaining frame."
[deleted] 5y ago
Jesus man, incredible story. I'm really glad that you and others have contributed, I was really worried I'd be a lone, and hostile, voice on this so thanks.
MustNotFfff 5y ago
Congratulations on your sobriety. But could you tell me what a "case" is?
RightHandWolf 5y ago
A case would be 24 twelve ounce cans or bottles, which equals 9 quarts. Your tolerance goes through the roof, but you get almost no buzz at all. You sometimes have a bit of a reddish tinge when you throw up. The technical term is "esophageal hemorrhaging", which means you cough up a bit of blood. Nothing gets you uninvited quicker than that kind of party trick.
[deleted] 5y ago
Not to mention the other side.
MustNotFfff 5y ago
Wow, that's quite a bit! It's incredible that you were able to function during the work days.
Would you say your body has healed by now?
RightHandWolf 5y ago
It was quite a bit. I look back on it and I just shake my head around how self-destructive I was being. All part of the learning curve, but I really must not have wanted anything better for myself back then.
Have I healed? I haven't had a drink all this time. I haven't even really had any hardcore cravings, but there have been times in the last few years where I would have the occasional thought about it. Wondering if I'm "cured," so I could maybe just have one. From all that I've read, thoughts like that will have to be guarded against for the rest of my life.
It's been 18 years, so the body has mostly healed up. Because I treated myself so shitty for so long, I do find myself wondering what my future will bring health wise. Will I develop liver cancer or something? What about kidney stones or type II Diabetes?
For the most part, the real aftereffect is dealing with pain. Because of the liver damage, my main method of pain management is to grit my teeth and use potty mouth words. I have to be careful of how much or how often I take acetomenophin, since that stuff can cause liver damage all on it's own, or aggravate any damage already done. I threw my back out of whack in 2002, when I was running behind schedule on a furniture delivery route. We would take away the old stuff when dropping off the new goodies, and I scooped up a La-Z-Boy and carried it down from the third floor. Didn't feel a thing at the time, and managed to finish out the route. Still didn't know what was up later that evening, when my friend Karl was pointing at me, and giggling while doing this weird, old-man shuffle step. I definitely felt it the next morning, though, and I could hardly walk or stand without a huge amount of of pain. I have a bunch of other old injuries that like to remind me how they're doing when it gets cold and humid. Fortunately, I do have a high pain tolerance, but I have a few days where I can barely make it out of bed.
MustNotFfff 5y ago
​
It's also been my understanding that for many alcoholics, they think about drinking nearly every day. Consider yourself lucky that you're not affected that way.
​
​
I'm no expert, but I think the body has quite the ability to heal itself, especially if you quit while relatively young. Have you considered doing any sort of tests on yourself? Doctors might be able to ascertain if your kidneys or liver are in good shape or not.
RightHandWolf 5y ago
I am lucky, in that the compulsion did go away pretty quick. Once that doctor had told me just how close to the edge I had been skating, I knew it was over - I just had to make it through the withdrawal stage without relapsing. Like I said, I just have the occasional random thought, but having escaped from the cage, I have no desire to go back in.
I have healed up in terms of the alcohol related symptoms. No more night sweats, unless the AC is acting up. No more spending 11 hours a day in bed, but only getting 4-5 hours of sleep. As you progress in this addiction, your blood sugar levels start doing some really funky things. Ethanol metabolizes into glucose, which normally gets burned off as the easiest energy source. But if you're buying the Miller Brewing Company on the 12-ounce installment plan, you don't have much in the way of energy requirements, because you really don't do anything.
Anyway, your blood sugar levels spike pretty early after the first drink, and you coast along for a while, but about 1-2 hours after the last drink of that session, your blood sugar level crashes hard enough that you snap awake. This is the sleep disruptive part of the problem, because most people are just getting into the REM state of the sleep cycle around 90 minutes in. This is the state where you are recharging, and a short recharge/high discharge cycle isn't just damaging to batteries.
Kidneys are doing well so far. I drink about 6 quarts of water a day, and I only have a soda a couple of times a month. Liver function is normal enough, all things considered, but I still worry. Last physical went all right; the only thing going downhill is my eyesight, since I read 11-1200 pages a week.
mallardcove Endorsed Contributor 5y ago
Nice post, I think a lot of people who didn't read what I posted yesterday skimmed it and thought my message was to give up alcohol.
That wasn't my message at all, the message was to be careful with it if you choose to drink.
I gave up alcohol completely. I was never a big drinker, I didn't drink at all until I turned 21. It was rare for me to drink. However, on those rare occasions, it seemed like all it did was contribute to trouble.
Last June I had recently broke things off with an LTR and was out at the bars trying to show that I still had it and bag someone better than her. Kind of like how a gambler loses a lot of money and sits at the tables trying to win it all back. I ended up instead, going on a bender. I got drunk and all it did was cause me to make an ass of myself and completely lose frame. I ended up losing a plate because of drunk texts I sent her and probably lost a lot of prospects with girls I was working in the bars because of my behavior. It was definitely the most embarrassing night of my 4+ year red pilled life.
Then I took an Uber home and woke up the next morning feeling like total shit.
I know I could still drink and moderation and be fine, but at 30 years old I got the impression that alcohol was worthless. What is the point? What is the value? What is the return on the investment? I couldn't come up with any good reasons.
It was such a bad night that I went into a 3 month monk mode just to make sure I had my head on straight and wouldn't dig my ditch further. I pedestalized the concept of fucking better women then my ex-LTR and it was causing me to have oneitis for the idea, which led to irrational decision making and behavior.
Earthonaturtle 5y ago
Wow man you put in words something I’ve felt under the surface for a while now. I left my ex ltr and haven’t looked back. This was three months ago. Ive been pedestalizing doing better than her and intellectualizing game rather than taking action. I still grind I just have not been gaming or being social.
Would you recommend a monk mode to recalibrate, or to just get out there and start failing until I succeed?
mallardcove Endorsed Contributor 5y ago
Monk mode if you are trying to stop a slide
Get out there if you feel like you have momentum
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[deleted] 5y ago
Yeah, yours was a solid piece, I just wanted to add on. I'm glad you broached the subject, and your story up here about the epic bender....all I can say is yep, it's a familiar story.
MoDuReddit 5y ago
> One in eight American adults is an alcoholic, study says
​
You people have bigger problems than low gains.
toker420blaze 5y ago
What do you mean YOU PEOPLE.
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drsherbert 5y ago
Not to mention, the prescription drug problems in America as well.
MoDuReddit 5y ago
Prescription opioids and suicide rates at all time high. The US is steadily marching towards a 3rd world country. Which is a shame.
ThiccBoisClub 5y ago
I can for the first time admit that I have a problem.
I lift reguarly, I'm 12% BF, I'm strong, I'm veiny and aesthetic, but my god do I love going out and drinking -- It's fun. Plain and simple.
On school and work: I'm tired of waking up every Sunday hung over, feeling like shit, and moving like a slug. My lifts are compromised the next couple of days due to a loss of sleep, and my work and school life take a bit of a hit (not as bad as they should be getting hit). Although I have kept a relatively high GPA and average, I have noticed that I can be an absolutely perfect machine with these things if I wasn't going out every week or every other week.
On nutrition: I'm very deligent. I track macronutrients, calorie intake, and make sure I hit all micronutrients and fiber intake goals every single day. I always stay hydrated. When I go out, I preplan and mitigate some of the damages of the dense calorie consumption from drinking. But all of this is STILL not enough.
I'm truly worried about my liver, my gut health, and everything else in between.
I don't have much of a problem with game, or approaching women, but I have had a much higher success rate when I'm intoxicated (as outlined by all the aforementioned reasons above).
The way I see it, my alcohol consumption needs the same type of intervention that my porn and fapping consumption needed (I no longer watch porn and fap only on the 7th or 9th day of going fab free).
Y'all truly spit truth like a concerned father and I envy and appreciate you all.
SeasonedRP 5y ago
If Saturday night is your difficult time, try scheduling a training day on early Sunday mornings. It can be a recovery day where you do a long session of cardio. Cardio absolutely sucks if you're hung over. If you have something to look forward to in the mornings, it's easier to be more disciplined and refrain from alcohol the night before. The key is to have something scheduled in the morning so you have a reason not to drink. It can be reading the weekly edition of Barron's if you like instead of training, but just have something planned that being hung over will interfere with.
If you develop this habit when you are younger, it will help you quite a bit when you are older. Excess alcohol interferes with recovery from training and retards progress. You can get away with it when you are young, but your body doesn't as efficiently process it when you are older, and hangovers are worse and you don't make progress from training.
I'm not a teetotaler and don't concern myself with others' drinking habits. What works for me is limiting alcohol to when I'm on business trips or vacation, and usually having just one drink. Occasionally I'll have 2 or 3. Because I abstain most of the time, I find that when I do have the occasional drink, I really notice it the next day in terms of how I slept the night before, and it makes me not want to drink again anytime soon. By not making alcohol a big deal in my life, I just don't think about it much and don't really desire to unwind with a drink.
If you truly think you need some help with binging, look into a drug called naltrexone and how it is used in Europe. People take it an hour or so before they drink (not everyday as docs in the U.S. prescribe it), and it causes them not to get the sense of euphoria that drinking normally causes, and thus they aren't tempted to overdo it. I learned about it because I have an ex who has a major issue with alcohol and I've been trying to get her to give it a shot. You could get a prescription for it and take it before you drink and see if it helps. There likely would be a psychological benefit to doing this, as your mind will be telling you that the alcohol isn't doing it for you and not to keep going. Once you break away from your current Saturday night habit and establish new habits, it will be easy for you to avoid alcohol.
RightHandWolf 5y ago
I've been clean and sober for 18 years, but there is a saying in the AA tribe:
"Most of us are here because we got sick and tired of being sick and tired."
The other post on this subject wound up getting locked, since it was getting a wee bit heated, but if you want to get help, help is available. Like everything about TRP, if you take this fork in the road, do it because it's something you have decided to do. If you do this with the idea of impressing somebody or trying to get them to change their mind, it won't work. You might impress them; you might change their mind; but sooner or later a little bump in the road is gonna bounce you right out of the wagon. The trick is, you're not a passenger on the wagon, but the driver. Good luck.
P.S. Just for fun, I'll throw in a couple of quotes from A Night at the Met, an HBO comedy special with the late, great Robin Williams . . .
"I had to give up alcohol . . . I used to wake up nude on the hood of my car with my keys in my ass. Can I help you? Nahh . . . ish juz flooded"
"You know, ever since I gave up alcohol, I've realized I'm still the same asshole, I just have fewer dents in my car."
[deleted] 5y ago
100%. I hesitated to write this for such a young audience, but it at least has some traction and it was somewhat cathartic to me. I'm still feeling Friday, to be sure.
8380atgmaildotcom 5y ago
Big ups for writing down this shit
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[deleted] 5y ago
Good stuff.....I've got 12 years on you, and I can't pass for a 25 year old, way too many lines on my face & too much grey in my hair for that, but I just want to be clear, I'm not some broken down schlub. With a hard enough push I can threaten low double digit body fat %. I keep up with the kids.
jonpe87 5y ago
We will need a sub just for this theme LOL.
[deleted] 5y ago
hey, at least we're not talking incels.
jetsdude 5y ago
One of the best things I ever did was stop drinking. But I had to destroy my life at the time to finally quit. Absolutely crushed a lot of people close to me, and my reputation in general. Looking back, I never thought it was a problem, but I absolutely arranged my life around drinking and people who encouraged it. It all seems so stupid In hindsight. It was really all about confidence and attention. But I finally got the alcoholism scared out of me. Replaced it with lifting and never felt better.
[deleted] 5y ago
This sounds berserk. Who is destroyed when people stop drinking? But I totally see what you mean. I'm in a fairly lonely hole right now, but it's cool. I'm growing into a new mask on my own, lower pressure for sure.
But man, you really captured something I was trying to say and nailed it. Quitting drinking in your mid 40's fucking sucks. I'm lifting & climbing my way back out, but damn I'm glad I don't have passengers.
RightHandWolf 5y ago
I think he meant that his drinking damaged his relationships with other people.
With addictive behavior, I compare it to being in a cage with a hungry predator. A lion or tiger or bear, (oh, my!) or maybe one of those nasty velociraptors from Jurassic Park.
You're in the cage, thinking you're about to be devoured. But wait! There just so happens to be a big pile of steak. This pile of steak might be made from things like a marriage or a job; maybe it consists of your professional reputation or your finances, or maybe that pile of meat comes from your standing among friends and family. The animal needs to be fed, but you don't want to be eaten. So . . . to keep from being eaten, the addict will feed the beast from that pile of meat, even though it hurts like hell to do it.
The catch is that sooner or later, the pile of steak runs out, and there's no other meat in the cage . . . except you. Some people never make it out of the cage. Some escape, badly scarred, maybe, but alive. Some people even go so far as to get back in the cage, even though they know what's gonna happen if they do.
You seem like you want out of the cage, but the only person who can unlock it is you. The key is in your hands.
[deleted] 5y ago
I am blown away at the quality of the responses here. The animal in the cage, with the piles of meaty family & careers....I'm going to use that.
​
redpharma7789 5y ago
This was the reason I quit drinking. At the time, I couldn’t afford 200$+ nights out every weekend. I was starting to max out my budget.
So I decided to only have one drink an hour and drive out. But even then, what a waste of 50$. I’ve been going out sober for around 8 months now. Best decision of my life.
I still drink from time to time at big events and nights in. But if you are consuming alcohol daily, like my dad, you should probably reconsider that lifestyle.
MustNotFfff 5y ago
There is a hack to this: also consume marijuana. I'd say it might be best if you manage to maintain a low tolerance for both alcohol and weed. If you abstain throughout the week, I think this is doable.
liberty1127 5y ago
I've been lurking through these alcohol posts and I see a few things I'd like to point out.
1) It seems to me that drinking is black and white regarding most people. Either they drink like an alcoholic (or are one), or occasionally have 2 beers.
2) People who struggle with alcohol and drugs usually have other underlying issues such as clinical depression, anxiety or personality disorders.
3) There is hope for some people, but not for all. It seems some people can kick a bad habit over time by making good life choices, but others are rooted in a dependency which lasts a lifetime.
I for one had issues with alcohol abuse as early as 13...I drank liters of liquor a week...during school, at parties etc. I also did my fair share of everything other than heroin and struggled with cocaine and designer drug abuse in my late teens and early 20s.
I personally got tired of the routine of having no money, poor health and being a degenerate, but some never do and I'm beginning to think it is not their fault. I have a friend who never smoked or drank but is in and out of rehab for smoking crack...and the main thing is that he isn't going anywhere in life and his drug abuse is cyclical and keeps him from setting goals and advancing through life.
I somehow managed to clean up my act and eventually got a job as a contractor where I am randomly drug tested which definitely helps. I think staying focused on the gym helps...but the main reason is I am definitely a narcissist to a certain degree. I am also very stubborn and fall into routines which helps.
Normal people aren't as obsessive over their aesthetic or strength and that is definitely helping me not use drugs...plus the fear of losing a very well paying career. Just over the last 2 years I've been about to drink occasionally and not want more alcohol.
I feel that most people with substance abuse issues can't do that so I am an outlier. Alcohol and drug abuse is going to differ between people, and my only advice to people with issues is to just stop altogether and never drink or do drugs again.
If you can handle having 2 drinks and calling it a night, go ahead...but if you need to fill a void and can't stop doing drugs or drinking when you start, seek counseling, a rehab facility and go sober.
[deleted] 5y ago
The last person who saw an old coworker of mine alive was the clerk who sold him 3 bottles of White Out, back before they changed the formula to not be toxic. Kid was 17 and found dead on the road, never drank, never smoked, never fucked, dead for almost 30 years now.
Agreed, but I think this thread went well.
throwlaca 5y ago
Simple: Dont drink alcohol (or drink very little). It fucks up you brain. You need your brain to fuck, more than you need your penis. Would you cut a piece of your dick? surely no. Then why you fuck up your brain with alcohol, drugs and cigars?
[deleted]
RightHandWolf 5y ago
I love the digital age! I quoted Robin Williams yesterday, but I felt the need to find that clip since the subject can be kind of grim. You do have to hold onto your sense of humor in order to heal. Behold the power of my youtube-fu!
https://youtu.be/nIWB-Neyj-c
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