Suggesting to have sex in her fertility window during no contact? | TheRedPill

Voyager_00310

Posted 5mo ago in LTR - Permalink - Locked - 1.2K Views

Voyager_00310 4mo ago

Thank you for all the replies.

The ultimatum was learned from Patrice O'Neal: https://youtu.be/rTEJiLvKOfQ?si=3c0DWwaWbox7J-dI&t=1535.

It doesn't work. And then, after some fierce talking, we finally met on a weekend for food and drink (paid by her), and I prepared a gift. Then she told me she fucked another guy. I told her it's fine as long as she has sex with me but she said she couldn't.

Then I walked away. She got emotional with words during the night. I said some beta-type words inspired by Married Man Sex Life Primer 2011 (Athol Kay) trying to offer comfort the day after. Only to get massive manipulation came my way. Then I ghosted her.

More than a week later, one of her female friends, who plans to go out with her next week, invited me to join. I also ghosted her.

Let me know what you think.

andreen 5mo ago

It’s important to have an open and honest fnf conversation about your concerns and feelings. Avoid ultimatums and instead express how the lack of intimacy is affecting you emotionally. Use "I" statements to communicate your feelings without placing blame.

First-light 5mo ago

Your odds are slightly better during the fertility peak but bear in mind that you may not win this one -female manipulativeness added to the fact that sometimes they are just turned right off by stress in a relationship, added to hormones dropping off as fertility approaches the big drop off may win this one.

To maximise the odds, start the feeling of togetherness early. Talk with her first, message her a few times or something or the odds are low. Do something with her ideally practical and positive -even if its just weeding the garden or take her out to lunch, then say "you know what about we get a hotel, like we did X time). You need to first get her frame to shift to sex being possible. Otherwise you are only likely to get it if she decides to make an unwilling compromise for the sake of the relationship and women are really bad at doing this. Men do it constantly with no ill will. Women store up the ill will and you may eve get accused of using controlling behaviour to "force" sex if the relationship goes tits up.

Personally I always struggle when a woman is unfairly out of sorts and I know that she won't want sex unless I take action to put her in the right frame of mind. I think "and why should I beta out for you when you are the one who has done this?" So I usually don't. This means we miss out on some good sex that would have helped her mood and mine but I feel I just can't be the one who has to fix it all the time. Eventually I will usually get a complaint that I am "not even interested in sex anymore" and then things can be put right but I do often wonder which approach is best in the given situation. I think one can't be always super beta who begs for the pussy by being nice to the angry ice queen but if one also hardens up on women too much its just kills the dynamic of some continuing courtship that they seem to need to feel complete in a LTR.

I think much depends on how manipulative you think she is being. You can't let her manipulate you into treating her in return for sex but women are weak and easily troubled in their minds and sometimes need a little bit of courting -being made to feel special/ feeling connected- to fix them. One has to assess the given situation.

Sometimes in a situation like this at a fertility peak, there is also something to be said for the approach of not talking about it in advance, just working on her to get her happy relaxed and close and when you see she is close and responding to you, just starting it naturally. She will soon let you know if you read it wrong but its almost never that you do get it wrong if she is clearly responding by feeling close and it is a fertility peak. Then she can just let herself go without all the mental hassle of agreeing to have sex at some point in the future when she is not actually feeling it now -which is what can happen when you say "lets get a hotel" Women are more about feelings than is healthy for them and so its hard for them to agree to something they are not feeling right then.

Voyager_00310 5mo ago

Thank you for your reply. We are both married (to someone else), in OLTR, and we don't live together, so I can only text her or phone her first to set up a meeting.

In the past, she has always been praising me for being her role model. But it was me who has been pursuing and trying to spend as much time with her without getting sex, getting sulky, and leaving a couple of times (beta behavior.) I did tell her once that I was only interested in her body, which may have hurt her feelings, and I did walk away when she asked for a monogamous relationship.

Recently, I attempted to break up several times (like when she was not behaving or saying he liked someone else). Still, she contacted me for post-breakup logistics, and we eventually fucked nicely right after that (maybe out of fear of losing me, she got horny.) So that may have shown that I am accessible for her to be seduced back.

After the fuck she got the heavy manipulation up again. I think it has much to do with her post-wall anxiety.

Now, it's just 3 days without contact. I last told her, "You are entering the mating market and trying to make me an orbiter. Hit me up when you want sex with me, and we'll talk."

I worry that contacting her first will show more of the beta-ness, as I am losing the "no contact" game by giving attention and trying to fix the relationship. What are the suggestions in this case?

Thank you!

First-light 5mo ago

Ah yeah that is a little different isn't it. One thing I would say is that with an affair of that length, its not going to break easily unless it goes into a decline and one of you really pisses the other off. You must have both worked hard on it to keep it going over the years. I know from my own past experience what a big commitment a long term love affair is. So I would not get too wound up about doing anything fast -you have been a secure thing in her life for a long time. I would also stop being pissed off with her -you are the de facto second choices for each other you both have other commitments that come first. Being pissy won't improve your standing or make it easier for her to find the headspace to accommodate the relationship in her life.

In long love affairs you can drift apart -the needs you met in each other may change over time. The relationship remains but you can get to points where you think "this is more work than its worth" She is probably making first contact with the wall and that is going to change things a bit for her. Hitting the wall takes women through all the stages of grief.

Is banging her on the side worth the hassle? If so, then look at what it is you bring her -the good and the bad, look at improving your offer. You are there to spice up her life. A good lover is not high maintenance and demanding. The ideal lover is a friend who is there on the shelf when you want them and goes back on the shelf when you don't. Clearly this is an unrealistic ideal scenario but if you can improve that offer you will still have some good sex with her as she goes through the wall, some very good ones when she is needing affirmation and some dry spells when she is hormonally low and stressed,

A long term love affair is a long game. Be a good lover -you do not have beta out but consider low stress interactions. If she doesn't want to bang now just keep messaging her about life till she does. She will again for sure if you don't piss her off utterly or get bored of waiting and drip feeding the relationship with non sexual communication.

Nothing ever stays the same, you may need to adapt a bit as she ages but if you are willing to play the game, she will come round again. Or quit and find greener pastures but even then don't hard quit just step back sending the odd nice text. She might still be up for the odd one form time to time to validate herself, even years down the line.

redhawkes 2 5mo ago

Do you retards even read anything anymore, or just come here to shitpost?

You are entering the mating market and trying to make me an orbiter. Hit me up when you want sex with me, and we'll talk."

Yea, definitely a retard with oneitis.

Voyager_00310 5mo ago

I know. Thanks for the reminder. So, any strategy and insights besides the cold shower? Is it better to take advantage of this fertility peak or ignore it?

-2

redhawkes 2 5mo ago

You can not negotiate attraction. This post is beyond desperation.

Your mistress doesn't wanna fuck? Find someone who does. You showed her that she's 100% of you pussy supply, so she's using her cunt as a weapon to get what she wants.

whytehorse2021 5mo ago

Sex during no contact? That's an oxymoron...

ObliviousDuck 5mo ago

I assume you made your homework and have upped your game and your woman is still refusing to have sex with you despite the 1000 foot rope being tight for at least 8 months now.

If so, you already decided you wanted to breakup. Do you have kids? If not, just split already. You have a manipulative, post wall woman refusing to have sex, you deserve better.

If not, STFU, read the r/marriedredpill sidebar and lift.

Musicgoon78 1 5mo ago

First off. An ultimatum is the ultimate display of impotent powerlessness. You tell her this bullshit and you expect her to get the tingles? You're doing a shit job of seduction and gaming your girl. You are free to be as blunt as you like with her. If she doesn't have the tingles, trying to punish her isn't definitely not going to do that.

It sounds like you are trying to knock her up and it sounds like she doesn't really want you or that. My question is why would you want to be with a girl that isn't going to make you happy or be enthusiastic about sex?