A month ago I was writing my first kiss close Field Report, after that affair was done I thought I'd be having a hard time finding another girl or worse, that it will be a long time before I write another FR. However, here we are now, 1 month later almost to the day, with a new girl new prospects and better outcome.
This field report is made to highlight key parts of RP working, even though I am an absolute inexperienced moron.
I have become quite known in the local motorcycle scene by taking photos for free, not taking shit from anyone (basically just bantering back but leaving the door open for friendships afterwards). In other words, I got a reputation that results in girls asking about me (does he still takes photos, how is he doing?), and the reply is always (he still takes photos, just DM him, he's a cool guy, don't worry). Half of my work in getting rid of the initial "ick" is already done by others.
That's just a background info for you to understand the bigger picture.
I get added on social media a lot, either for photos, for my motorcycle and so on, I often say "no" to requests for "pls can I be passager on your motorcycle pls!"; My motorcycle and my time are not props for someone's Instagram. Keep this in mind, you are not a prop for someone to use, you are a human being and a man, and your time is valuable, don't waste it on random girls that want to "go out for fun". Pick and choose, not all apples are good for eating.
1 week ago, a cute 23 year old girl adds me on social media, we say "hi" and reply with memes and so on, talk a bit, banter a bit. Nothing really out of the usual and I actually did not reply to her a few times for days because I was dealing with life stuff.
I ask a guy I know if he knows her, he says "yeah she's not a hoe, she's cool". That was my green light to push for more with this girl and the things that followed are biblical to say the least, especially from a moron like me.
We talk on socials for about a week, eventually we agree to meet as "friends", and before that happened I so happen to get a photo of her with another guy on a motorcycle. That's the first moment where I started to lose frame and get upset "why would she go out with that guy if we were supposed to go out the next day?!"
My mistake was to send her that photo and jokingly tell her "look, found your girl-friend". She lost her mind after this, saying that she can go out with any person she pleases. She went on a crusade justifying herself, how she likes the guy, how he's gentle and subtle and yada yada. That's the very moment I almost lost my shit (I am an RP newbie and newbie in general after all), but somehow I got the restraint to keep my mouth shut in that moment.
My only reply to her was "that's quite alright, I hope you have fun with the guy and you are good together, take care!"
I was expecting a good reply from her like "ok goodbye" or something like that but instead she lost her mind even more. "what do you mean 'take care' ", "I don't even care about that guy, I like you, we vibe way better".
RP stuff was unfolding before my very eyes and I did not do that much either, it was just a show for me to watch. And because I did not care for her at all at this point, I used RP words to basically tell her to GTFO. "i was not your top choice, i'll focus on the girls that made me their top choice, no hard feelings, take care!".
She lost her mind, she told me that I'm being a brat, that I do not give "us" a chance, that she's willing to make it work, that she wants to meet ASAP and hold me in her arms. (what happened with that guy she was with before? the one that she liked so much?) who knows, we don't care.
At this time, I moved her 180 degrees from that guy to me and I still didn't care that much, I was just trying to piss her off as much as I could by going with "listen, if he's hotter than me, if he makes you happy then I'm fine, I'm a big boy, I can take rejection, don't worry".
She asked to go out with me and I agree to go out with her just because I wanted the experience of game and banter and imho, going out with an objectively good HB7 couldn't hurt me anyway.
We go out, she's just as pretty as in her photos, she gets in my car and we drive around, eventually we have some coffee and we chill, the conversation flows well. Eventually I ask her if she wants to drive around the city some more and she happily agrees. We do just that for a solid hour and then I drive back to her place and I hear the best words you can hear from a girl in your car: "so what? you're already ditching me?".
By this time I knew she was in my frame and wanted more than a drive, coffee and lame hug.
I park the car on the front of her apartment building and we talk next to the car for 10 minutes before I get the vibe that she's open to more, and I go in for the kiss while I banter with her. She openly received the kiss and pushes for more, hugging me and feeling my muscles with her fingers and nails.
The normal kissing and hugging turns into french kissing and me lifting her on the hood of my car, a thing which gives her the best tingles ever. A discussion that started casual now was focused on what we like to do in bed and here is where I realized the villain I've become. She said "I don't like to do X and Y things in bed". After hearing that, I jokingly said "ok, get down from my car, we're done, see-ya!". To which she started laughing and said the best words you can hear "no! stay! I'll try those with you, don't be silly!".
So rules for thee not for me?
I have become the villain I used to hate, the guy that started to have her despite the men in her life, the guy that she broke rules for instead of making them. The guy that gave her tingles and had her come for more while denying it. And the worst of all, I fucked over a guy I did not even know, I "took his girl" and did not care for a second. I feel really bad now about it, but at the same time I don't, because I know that he would not have been thinking about me like this, he would have fucked me over given the chance.
She called me "a meanie" so many times and every single time, my reply was "meanie.. maybe but you love that about me" and her reply was always "fuck you and yes, i love that, shut up!".
The night ends with the words "please text me when you get home i want to know you're safe" and "i cannot wait to bit your lip again".
So what did I do to get here? Here's breakdown as I understand it.
- If she likes you enough, you become the top priority even though she already had a perceived "top priority" lined up.
- IDGAF mentality is essential here, actually, it's essential everywhere in life. Stop caring so much and live a little, worry about the bad stuff when it happens not before. When the main text argument happened, I simply did not care, for me she was nothing, that's why I told her to have fun and be happy with some other guy, it was the best thing to say in the context of me not caring about her and the situation.
- Always assume she's into you and go for the kiss/hug/kino. Always assume she's into you and you'd be surprised with the outcome you'll get. Being bold is key, be bold, be "a meanie", be the man you are and supposed to be and take her and she will love you for it.
- Nothing matters, especial the outcome, go have fun, get slapped by some brat girl and have fun in the process. I did not get slapped yet and I come from a background of nothing, less than nothing.
- If she likes you enough, there are no shit tests or at best some comfort tests. I did not sleep with her but I got her so wet she had to admit she needs a change of pants. I'm not stupid, many girls will not sleep with you on the first date and that's good, if she'd do that I'll only see her as a whore.
- Make her feel good, make her laugh, make her feel desired and you're half way there. I got her wet, I french kissed her, she felt my muscles under my shirt, she desired me even though we did not smash, yet. And more importantly, she saw me getting DM's and notifications on social media while I was with her and she realized that she can be replaced.
What this situation gave me?
- Age gaps do not matter, at all. I'm 29 she's 23, the 6 year gap means nothing. I look way younger than I am to the point that for a while she thought I was younger than her. The only thing that matter is your mental age gap, if you vibe for real and get along, then it's fine as long as it's legal.
- I have become the villain I used to hate. I am now having her despite the other guys in her life, I swooped her from another guy that sat on his ass because he was "too busy and gentle". He was not those things, he was just too lazy and weak and afraid to make the move.
- Live a little, nothing matters, let go and see what happens. Outcome independence is key, whatever happens happens, learn from it and let go and move on to the next one. There's always a next one that is even better than "this is the best girl ever".
- Get your ass in the gym, I'm no Arnold but I have some gains and I'm close to abs right now, she felt the abs through my shirt, I told her she can do more than that. She happily moved her hands under my shirt, feeling my muscles with her nails and enjoying every second of it. "girls do not like muscles" is the biggest lie we've been sold, they absolutely do the same way we love a good booty and fit body in a girl. Lose that weight, get abs, get down to 10% body fat, get that jawline and cheek bones, you only live once, make sure you live it looking your absolute best.
I was planning to make this one short but It's not that short. I'll get some sleep, tomorrow I'm seeing her again.
Take care folks and thanks for getting me in this position!
Edited: Formatting and general text.
NeoSpartan 2mo ago
Very well done.
You aren't a villain anymore than a guy who worked hard for years to get a good job would be a villain to a lazy pos on welfare. Enjoy the success. You earned it.
Ime, gym is probably the biggest factor. Not being a pussy comes in at a very close second. And don't listen to some of the others. Jealousy can be attractive and beneficial if you don't be a pussy about it. If it comes from a place of weakness it's terrible, but if it comes from a place of setting firm boundaries and telling them this is how it's gonna be if you want to be with me, it's gonna produce respect and attraction. Also the lifting them thing, very much a wettening tactic. gj.
Goingthedistance 2mo ago
Thank you! But unfortunately while the FR and the exp. I got from it was good, this girl was basically the hoe I tried to LTR. Live and Learn.
I am by no means big, but I am lean now and have good definition, close to abs. Given that most guys are either unfit or just plain fat, this is an advantage as you say.
If you're talking about me sending her that photo with the motorcycle guy... it was not jealousy as me telling her that I won't accept this disrespect from her. That's why I was so hellbent on telling her to go be with that guy.
NeoSpartan 2mo ago
I guess the word jealousy has a negative connotation yeah. I meant it more like.. girls shittest to see if we get jealous pretty often right? In my experience it's fairly common.
So my view is that in many cases its kind of a thing they do semi-subconsciously to see if you are a bitch or not. Like a "does this guy like me enough to defend me from other guys?" sort of thing. Of course, not always. They might just be a whore. Gotta take everything on a case by case basis ya know?
Sorry to hear that it was the latter in this case :/ You are doing good though. And def rack up all the experience you can, it really helps. You will start to notice their patterns and it will get easier and easier.
Goingthedistance 2mo ago
She's in an LTR with some guy, basically I was one of her options I suppose and she choose him, it's no biggie at least it happened pretty early and I got a good lesson out of it. I should stop giving chances to girls that are not even my type.
Thank you!
coolsocks00 1 2mo ago
Jfc this is terrible on all levels. Hard to read post honestly
Goes to show that you can sperg the fuck out and still do well with a little status and social proof.
It’s not all bad. Keep reading the sidebar
Goingthedistance 2mo ago
Reading my post now, it is harder to read and I'll edit it. I made the mistake to write it on the hurry to get it posted and hit the gym. My bad.
What is terrible? That particular thing I said to her or you're talking about the post itself?
whytehorse2021 2mo ago
She got mad because she tried to friend-zone you and you told her to fuck off. That's pretty funny. Anyway I had a pretty similar effect on my wife. This might be a ride-or-die chick. Only time will tell... can you maintain frame or will you get oneitis?
Goingthedistance 2mo ago
She was not. She was hoe full of red flags and in my stupidity I tried to date her and it blew up in my face. Live and learn, it was a good experience for game, kissing, escalation and overall pushing myself to get better.
Vermillion-Rx Admin 2mo ago
Why didn't you escalate to sex while she was all tingles?
Was there any coherent reason you have for ending the night there? I see no explanation in your FR
Goingthedistance 2mo ago
Hit ASD and LMR and I failed to not only recognize them but pass them, instead I fucked up by escalating too much in public.
First-light 2mo ago
Yeah even someone like me who has very limited casual sex experience can't see why you didn't just enjoy her that night. When its gone that far and she's begging for it, why stop unless there was some other element that we don't see in the report?
Goingthedistance 2mo ago
I could not move it from outside her apartment complex to inside her place.
First-light 2mo ago
Then something is not as it seems from the rest of the picture. She was playing the tease with you. If women get heated up there is either something that cools them down or they want to go through with it. They have just about no self control once they cross a threshold of excitement. Just be aware that at the moment she is leading the dance and she is probably quite a practised player. She is playing as she has read you want her to play. That's all fine and good fun but don't count her as your girl or as taken by you based on this.
Goingthedistance 2mo ago
Don't worry, we're already threw and ghosted me. She's already with some new guy she found on who knows where. I treat this FR as just experience for game and general social interaction.
I should stop giving a chance to girls that are not my type at all, seems to be only blowing up in my face.
First-light 2mo ago
Sorry to hear that. At least it sounds like easy come easy go in this case.
Goingthedistance 2mo ago
Don't be sorry, it's alright, it's a good learning experience for me. The bitch burned every single bridge she had with me by doing this. There's zero chances in hell I'll even consider her ever again. Meanwhile my previous girl (from the previous FR) is now following me on socials all of the sudden, and two other girls are seemingly sliding in my DMs. Shits too fast and too lit for me to keep at it and I need to read RP material for this to work out better.
NeoSpartan 2mo ago
Well, fucking on the first date can be a problem if you want it to last. As bad as our culture is, most girls still feel some regret the day after if they allowed a guy to get in so fast.
For example, my last gf, fucked her on 2nd date. Almost on first but her pants were tight and had way too many buttons plus she stopped me more than once so ended up just fingering her over the pants and doing stuff with her nipples and that. She was chill and cute with a fantastic ass so I ended up dating her for quite a while. But... she insisted on editing it in her mind that we only kissed on the first and had sex on the fourth. Same even really for girls looking just for dick, live in a port city so have met more than few only in town for a month or w/e. First date is always much more resistance than subsequent dates. Can definitely be done, girls run off feelings and live in the moment but.. point is moving very fast can potentially be detrimental if you want the thing to last.
And imo, sex is great. I would rather secure more of it long term than rush the thing. Though... on the other hand, no tingles means no attraction so you gotta at least do some kino. For example, I never had a second date with a girl I didn't at least kiss on the first.
MyBoyJob 2mo ago
No, just fuck as long as she doesn’t gross you out and has potential. If afterwards, you sense it was too much, you can always just pseudo apologize through text the next morning….”had a great time, really hope that wasn’t too much too fast”.
First-light 2mo ago
I agree totally when it comes to quality women that you intend to make something lasting with. But this girl is telling him what she wants him to do to her in bed on the first date. She is probably not a long term prospect. When it starts going that way, its normally pretty hard to pull it back. If you start the big make out and she is willing, then you finish things. I always thought that the trick was not to start it on the first dates if you want to be serious with her.
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NeoSpartan 2mo ago
Nah I don't think so. At least for me, if I did not do any kino the date would fail the majority of the time.
And it's depends... I mean what are you going for? It's gonna be very hard to find 25+ year old virgins, for example. There's not really any societal standards for women anymore, so I mean that's why looks are so important for women now. Most of them go based off tingles, so the best strategy is to figure out how to best generate those tingles. You can still test for her being a ho and other red flags, but it's kind of pointless if you don't try to entice her no? Cause everyone else will. I think it's better to test them. Try your best to fuck them but if it doesn't work, then it's a good sign she has a low bodycount and etc.
Once you get enough practice it will be easy to tell.