Hey all, some background first:

I'm 25 years old, living in a small-ish university town in Europe. Working a successful career in IT, recently finished my master's degree, have my own place. Did competitive swimming during my younger years which combined with working out at the gym in recent years has kept me in athletic shape (currently working on bulking up with more muscle). I've had a couple "proper" relationships over the years with one or two ONS/FWB in between but have spent the last two-ish years focusing purely on improving myself and my life (which in part led me to discovering TRP). This "hiatus" was mainly sparked by my last relationship - being in that situation had left me mentally fucked up and ultimately caused me to decide that I would rather spend my time developing myself and my life until I am ready to involve myself in any non-platonic relationships with women.

Well, recently decided that its finally time to start actively working on my skills with women, which leads me to this post. This is my first "proper" experience since these last couple years and I writing this report as a way to self-reflect on the things I've internalized over the course of these two years, as well as identify the issues (which there are many of) that are still to be fixed. I will break down this interaction with this woman into three sections: before the first date, during the date, and after the date.

Before the date: We matched on Hinge: she's an exchange student who just came here from SEA, kinda cute, fit, smart, probably a 7 overall. Her profile mentioned something about liking beer, so I opened the conversation right away by suggesting we go out for a drink. She suggested a day she was free right away, to which I simply told her that I would text her day-of with the time when I'd be picking her up. Texted her on the morning before the date with the time, and got her address in response.

Date: Picked her up, we exchanged some basic small talk in the car, then I told her we're going to the city to check out the sights. Walked around town for half an hour, then I told her we're going to play pool. Got into some more banter/teasing as we were playing the games: stuff like betting a round of drinks on the game, or calling her out when she misplayed her turn etc. After playing for an hour or so, went to a nice bar nearby to grab another round of drinks (she paid for this one). Conversation was a bit more flirty at this place: stuff like joking about how its past her bedtime and that she's a bad girl for staying out so late. Decided to go out for a night drive after leaving the bar (I only had one alcoholic drink and was fully okay to drive). We spent the next hour just driving and chatting until we ultimately agreed it's late, after which I dropped her off at her place. Almost immediately after dropping her off she texted me saying she had a great time and asking me if I got home safe, to which I simply replied that I'm home and also had fun.

After date: I spent the next two days (the weekend) just doing my own shit, not thinking about the girl or texting her. Woke up on the third day to a message from her asking how my weekend was and to let her know if I want to meet up again while re-iterating how much fun she had. I replied that I am still interested in meeting up but my schedule for the week is packed and that I would message her when I have the time to meet. She basically replied with a "no worries, just let me know when you have time and you're up for it". And that's where we're at right now.

All in all, there's definitely things here that I think I did right, but also some very obvious things that I did wrong.

KEY TAKEAWAYS:

• GOOD: Assertive and to-the-point opener and texts. I practically asked her out in the very first message, and we had a date set up within 4 total messages. Efficient, and no bullshit.
• GOOD: Being the one to set the time and activities for the date. Throughout the whole evening I was simply telling her the things we would do, instead of asking for her opinion. This is a big improvement for me as I have a history of asking girls what they want to do, instead of leading like a man.
• GOOD: Date structure was conducive for a gradual increase in closeness. A simple walk at first (to vet for her not being a catfish/psycho/whatever), an engaging competitive activity, followed by a more social atmosphere in the bar, and a more intimate setting later in the car.
• GOOD: No pedestalizing/simping. I bought her a single drink, which was a bet in our game of pool (that I lost fair and square). That's it. This is not generally a problem in my country's culture (girls here tend to pay for themselves or want to split things evenly on dates), but thought I would bring it up since its a common mistakes guys seem to make.
• BAD: There was definitely points during the whole evening where I simply didn't know what to talk about. I think I handled it pretty well in general by either ignoring it or just saying whatever to restart the conversation, but its definitely a sign for me to keep improving my conversational skills.
• THE BIG BAD: No physical escalation. I didn't touch her during the date, or kiss her at the end of it, nor anything in between. This is something I'm well aware of but its been the one thing I've been having trouble improving on. The reason is most likely fear of rejection. As long as I don't physically escalate, there's no risk of rejection and we can just have a good time; is what I tell myself.

Overall this is a win in my books. It's my first attempt at this after a long break and I'm happy to see how many things I'm doing correctly now that me from a few years ago would've fucked up royally before the date even began. Of course there's also things to improve but luckily this community has enabled me to reflect on these things much more efficiently. I'm sharing this as-is, but any feedback or advice is of course greatly appreciated.