So this girl is my coworker, I know dont shit where you eat but weve been flirting for a month, I took her to a kind of date, went to a pub, having a couple of beers, I been funny and constantly kinoing, hands to lowerback, arms, thigs, normally I wouldnt give a fuck if it backfires and go for a kiss, but hold myself since this is a coworker.
Fast forward a month, she invites me her home for a dinner then were chilling on the sofa, I say fuck it and be direct about the feelings I have and mentioned I want an LTR(shes 27, kind of good manner, feminine etc. no body count, only 1 relations that last 6 months, believe me, its middle east) with her since I'm sick of hook ups and meaningless sex.
She said she feels the same, we kissed for a while and I tried to escalate further,touching boobs and ass, and on my way to pussy she flinches and shyly says were going too fast dont be like that or i'll be backward(timid,shy, idk the correct word) against you, I comfort her saying It's cool and call it a day went back home.
The next day in the work she went completely cold, unresponsive and ignoring, I said whats up with this behaviour she said nothing, then I told her that if it was a wrong choice, she said yes I said thats ok, no problem from my side just be cool in the workplace, no drama.
Now I dont want her back, I would say no thanks it was a good evening between us but I dont want more if she ever brings it again on the table, i dont give a fuck, I just want to analyze what the fuck happened here and learn from it, please share your comments.
Sorry for bad english.
Whatupg 1mo ago Stickied
I sincerely thank you guys for your comments, I value them.
Theolympicnomad 1mo ago
You were supposed to keep getting her aroused. Now you fucked up. Not going for it is WORSE than going for it and not getting it
phteven 1mo ago
Any number of reasons. Might even just be cold feet about coworker dating or dating in general if she is actually at 0 count. The reasoning doesn't matter much unless you actively fucked something up. Analyzing and rationalizing the decisions of an emotional being will waste your bandwidth.
Sometimes it just isn't meant to continue, anything can be an "ick" in 2024. Unless you caused it, probably best not to dwell on it, overused but there are way too many fish in the sea to get overly attached if she isn't chasing you first.
AbusiveFather1 1mo ago
maybe she's mad that you didn't push past through her LMR. maybe she's tired of being a virgin because she's a whore at heart. maybe all she wanted was to get railed senseless like in the Hub videos she's been watching. maybe her good girl behavior is just a front, and you acting like relationship material and not a chad that would pump and dump her dried the pussy up.
ultimately - who cares? it'd be fun and maybe beneficial to know the truth, but you don't have time for that, because you've got your own goals to accomplish (start a serious relationship) and she clearly won't help you achieve them.
redhawkes 2 1mo ago
So you puked relationship diarrhea and wonder why she triggered her ASD while escalating. On top of that, you went all push no pull and she got LMR. In situations like that, do 2 steps forward, 1 backwards, rinse repeat. If that doesn't work, do the freezeout.
Lmaoo at bodycount 0. She probably wanted to get railed like a slut, but you stepped on your own dick. Live and learn, also read the sidebar.
Vermillion-Rx Admin 1mo ago
This needs to be asked in askTRP next time
Vermillion-Rx Admin 1mo ago
"I'm tired of meaningless sex"
*Proceeds to try to escalate to meaningless sex*
Yeah, no wonder she got really defensive. You should have just escalated. Men do, women talk. Don't invent random obstacles in their minds for them to overcome
First-light 1mo ago
First off, your English is fine. Its impressive.
There is always a complicated background to our decisions here you have a lot of variables that we just can't unpack -your past, her past, your work relationship, future hopes, other guys in the frame?? hormonal cycle... no one can say. All you can say is she said no that night. However she clearly had thought about the idea a lot. She obviously likes you but isn't sure if she likes you enough. You could play the slow game or next. I think those are the only sensible options with a work colleague like that.
I think a good thing to unpack is you didn't mess up and chase her when she retreated. You didn't dive in rashly. You did well in the situation but not all things come out simple.
Silly_birb_returns 1mo ago
My bet is that she is mad you thought you could get to sex her without investment.
It doesn't matter if you stopped gentlemanly on a 27yo woman (not young just saying), she will think you think she is easy. Women hate being considered easy, so it's all a shit game of making them believe what they whish while getting the sex you want.
I bet that if you send her a nice bouquet of fresh flowers she will start talking to you again, proving my point.
mattyanon Admin 1mo ago
Don't shit where you eat. There is no 'but'.
urgh! this sounds so fucking needy.
So you're saying LTR and she's saying "no sex".
Either she wanted to fuck and you didn't make it happen, or (more likely) she's just not attracted to you.