Greeting fellow Don Juan's and players. I wanted to talk about a simple mistake that I keep on making. So it's time for a post and to learn from my mistakes.
Once you start spinning multiple plates, your time and resources get limited.
Now if you're new, you might get scared. You keep your women apart and keep who you're seeing a secret.
I understand this. Most women can't handle the truth. They find out about other women and throw shit fits. The stop complying. They threaten. Most men don't DARE and can't handle their girl's emotional outbursts.
The more calibrated guy openly admits to his plate spinning. He doesn't give a shit if she likes it. He knows she can be replaced and he handles her outbursts and temper tantrum with style and mastery. This is attractive and shows preselection, dread and abundance.
So that's all you need right? Wrong!
Time will pass. Some plates will break some will stick around and be promoted. Some new girls will appear. You'll figure out that some are bi. Hooray! The time will come when you want Katrina, Tina and Sabrina to come together for a foursome to share your D.
So they meet and get to know each other a bit. Keep it to just a bit. I'm sure you've heard that women would rather share an Alpha than saddled with a failthful Beta. This is true. However, women are competitive. They will want you to themselves and to eliminate the competition. They share if they have to.
You have proverbial community well. It's filled with the elixir of submission, compliance and civility.
These girls can be your friends and you can talk about other women, once they accept the fact that you are changing. These aren't your guy friends. Don't treat them as such.
Here's the list of do nots:
Do not complain or tell a woman you're dating about an argument or fight you had with another plate or girlfriend.
Do not tell the women you're with flaws or quirks of the other women you're with.
Do not let a woman know how a plate gets under your skin.
Do not tell other women about surprises that you're planning for plates.
Do not tolerate your plates bad mouthing your other girls.
This poisons the well, the woman receiving the information will use that information against you and the other woman. She will put herself on a pedestal and loathe the other woman for "treating you poorly" or "not listening to you". Congrats on this guys. You will now hear almost daily reasons why you should ditch this girl or girls. She (of course) is the best option for you.
Don't give women ammunition to use against you. They will.
Here's the Do list:
Do tell her about a fun date you had.
Do tell her the things another plate has done for you that make you feel good or valued.
Do praise your other women in front of your date.
Do stay positive about all of your women.
This causes them to compete with another woman's good side. If a girl is a good cook her competition will try to do it better. If a girl is submissive, her competition might get more subservient. If one girl gives killer head.... Well guess what..
The point in all this is if you can't say anything nice about your harem then STFU. The other women don't need and shouldn't be handed that information.
Wintergreen 5d ago
Why would you even tell them about the other girls at all though? I feel like ones that are okay with hearing about how well another girl is treating you are just into polyamory or something. I think it’s better to be non-exclusive and just not tell them shit.
Vermillion-Rx Admin 5d ago
Men are just oftentimes conditioned to be soldiers of virtue. They feel they have to be honest and good. And have been raised as such.
The entire point of his post is to operate based on how women work and not how society shames and conditions men into acting.
As Rollo says:
Musicgoon78 1 5d ago
You will eventually get tired of being evasive. I face shit with strength.
Wintergreen 5d ago
That’s understandable but can’t you say you’re not exclusive and leave it at that?
Musicgoon78 1 5d ago
If you read above. Getting two women together for a 3some or weekend getaway. Why would I be hesitant to have a party and have my women around?
Ill_Will7 5d ago
Good post. Lots of guys think this kind of life isn't even possible. I will take the advice and give my thanks
Vermillion-Rx Admin 5d ago
Good shit. Your posts are quite valuable to this community I hope you continue posting.
MrSupreme 5d ago
Good stuff, i have to add that women kinda know youre seeing other girls,they can sense that and they act somewhat differently.Once they know they kind of fit in and become a better version of themselves,just for you. Amazing they kind of value plating and options gives a man
deeplydisturbed 5d ago
Jesus bro. That is SO much work. So much more difficult than it has to be.
What you describe is a pathway to polyamory, which is not my thing. No judgments in you.
But I do what I will and I do NOT tell anyone anything they do not need to know.
No lies no deception. It’s much easier on this end of things.
Good luck. I suspect that your lifestyle will get old one day.
When it does. Come back. I have thoughts to share.
Musicgoon78 1 5d ago
Jesus Judge Judy! Get off your lazy moralizing high horse. This post is not for someone like you. That's fine. I'm getting old and set in my ways I doubt I'll change my ways after all these years. Some guys just aren't built for crazy sex adventures or spinning multiple plates.
Vermillion-Rx Admin 5d ago
I am not entirely sure what your specific criticism is of the post unless it hinges on this premise I quoted.
I think there is a huge difference between unprompted volunteering unsolicited information about your life to women such as whether you are seeing other women versus being honest if you're asked.
I could see the argument for NOT spilling unsolicited information to women but do you have a specific argument for denying information to sexual partners when such information is relevant to them? I've not been a proponent for dumping information onto women but am I reading it correctly that it's preferable to deny something as relevant as additional sex partners if you want to have an honest life?
Maybe I'm misunderstanding here
Wintergreen 5d ago
To me it sounds like the original post is advocating for being unnecessarily “open” by way of just updating girls on other girls as though it were as common as telling them how your day went.
Musicgoon78 1 5d ago
Look bro, some of these guys won't get past the level of being scared. They won't have enough abundance to be honest or enough frame to handle a woman's protests. Some guys even struggle to get a single girlfriend. When you get a bit older, you'll realize how little work you have to do by just being honest. You don't have to remember what you said to whom. You don't have to bite your tongue. You can just relax. It really is freedom, but cowardice is a cage that guys put themselves in.
Wintergreen 5d ago
Well I just think that I perceived your post as saying that you should proactively tell girls about other girls in a way that might not be beneficial. I’m not sure if I misunderstood it or if it’s because you filter for girls who are okay with it but yeah, most guys including myself have never told a girl specific details about other girls they are banging.
Musicgoon78 1 5d ago
The post was about not telling your plates anything negative about other women if you need to be honest.
You missed the entire point of the post.
Wintergreen 4d ago
I’ve been known to do that on occasion, thanks for clarifying.
Vermillion-Rx Admin 5d ago
Not sure this is a case of everyone on the thread needing to speak for themselves
First-light 4d ago
I think its really best not to tell one woman anything much about the others. It spins the cogs of the brains in ways that have unintended consequences.
Certainly don't go speaking bad of them. This simply lowers your value. This girl is bad but you are still with her, so you are worthy of her failings. You deserve it. You don't however really value the girl you are telling this because she has not got those failings.
Don't tell one girl anything about what you do in bed with another. Again if she has any sense she will know you are telling the other girls all about how specifics of her hole is, how she likes to be touched, how she acts in climax, what she will do for you. Its disrespectful and it shows you are not to be trusted with the secrets of the other girl's body. How would you like it if it was served back to you the other way round and all that Chad did to get her off was recited back to you?
If quizzed its best to be silent, if trapped by female wiles to the point where an answer is needed be unspecific but kind and positive. In the end fall back on "I don't discuss you, so I won't discuss her"
Men should understand that women will tolerate you having other women but tolerate is the word not like. Inexperienced men also need to understand that once you cross that line, things are never going to be the same again. This is true even with women raised in polygamous cultures. The relationship changes and never really changes back even if "she" is gone. You can never again be "us" in the way most western couples think and feel its more "You and me together in this thing/ this time"
Without a lot of resources to back you or a huge SMV differential, my experience says leave it to others unless your relationship is clearly deficient in good sex.