Let me set the stage of who this girl is: Met on tinder, decently hot, 30 years old, bisexual, divorced, had open relationships in past, very independent and loves to travel. Also she has multiple tattoos and is a bit of a general flirt. We fucked on the first date.
She's a full on hoe. And I'm a captain-save-a-hoe. Fml...
In spite of her being a hoe, we had a nice situationship. Fucking, talking for hours, connecting on deep topics and pasts etc. As the fool that I am, I start getting feelings for this girl. Mind you, her pussy was as wide as the nile and I sometimes struggled to stay hard because of how little sensation I felt (always condom tho).
Recently I told her I was developing feelings for her. She told me that she only wanted to continue casually as the hoe that she is. I ended it there because I'm not a fan of fucking a girl that might be fucking others at the same time. In the moment it stung, but when I came home and wrote down all the red flags (there's more than what's listed above), a sense of relief washed over me. I dodged a bullet, and ironically the bullet was kind enough to save me from myself. Fuck.
This is my apology letter to the community. Please learn from my mistake. I'm already dating a much hotter and fitter 23 year old that is way more normal.
Lastly, if anyone has any thoughts or feedback that could contribute to the learnings from this, please do share. I need as much reality check as I can get. What happened to me? Why did I fall for such a hoe? I've had LTR with wife-material virgin 21 year old before. I know better than this.
Once again, sorry for being weak.
Lone_Ranger 2 3w ago
I think you are being hard on yourself.
You fucked a hoe, had a bit of fling with, started to develop feelings for her, stopped yourself in time, broke it off with her, and now you are back to the single life again.
You learnt something, you grew a bit.
I can see two positive things: 1) you are still capable of having feelings 2) you are smart enough to realise when your feelings are unwise.
this is great stuff. You're not dead inside and you are wise.
Onwards and upwards.
cundardunfinished 3w ago
She was like a super plate. Easy to fall for because she basically ticks off the woman box in your life without any of the burdens women usually bring. Makes you feel like a million bucks. This is how some good LTRs can be had so I don't think you did anything wrong per se except telling her you were developing feelings, I don't see the purpose of that and maybe worth some introspection on your end since as a man you will never get the type of love you are hoping for. It's a beta trap that will only cause you problems if you go searching for it.
The biographical stuff doesn't matter that much imho, though those are all red flags if she is treating you right it's fine to be with her and even commit to her if it serves your purpose at the time. That doesn't mean you marry her or commit your life to her. But that type of stuff has to come from her wanting it not you. The 'wife-material' virgin stuff is a dangerous mindset also because AWALT and just because you found her young doesn't mean she isn't a hoe also, there are no unicorns.
kommissionary 3w ago
You are one cold motherfucker, and a DAWG :)
Same way you say there are no unicorns, there are no such things as super plates. If you read my other reply, I wrote that I come from a very secularized feminist country. There are a lot of those types of hoes here. Tbh where I live, the guys are the plates haha No but fr, she def had her perks but she's a used car with an extremely high milage. Had I continued, I would have risked fucking her a day after she fucked someone else. Maybe even same day (just the thought makes me want to vomit).
No. LTR is for girls with low or no milage that can attach to you.
It should. Be careful out there my friend. The past is always an indicator of the future. If a girl has a very promiscuous past and is divorced, it means she has proclivity towards impulsivity. You do not want to attach to someone impulsive.
Not at all. You're just jaded. It's a spectrum. Same as with us guys. I know guys that are sluts and attention seekers, and I know guys that are secure, chill and loyal. I would rather be friends with the latter than the former.
Your odds to find someone who can attach, commit and be loyal increases by an order of magnitude if the girl is a virgin and more secure attachment style. If she's a virgin but still going out partying every weekend, she's not wife-material and she's a future hoe.
The girl I'm referring to was not only wife-material and virgin, but I analysed and tested her for months before committing to LTR. She passed every test with flying colors. I remember one time we were at a party and guy who I know is a flirt immediately started orbiting her. And dude, when I tell you she barely gave him a second look. She wasn't even trying to be polite. She was so attached to me (i was first kiss and sex). First girl I felt I would trust at a party without me being there. And mind you, she never even partied == wife-material. Also she was young, hot and would fuck multiple times a day. Only mistake I did there was let her go and not have her be the mother of my child. But there are more like her. I just have to learn from this mistake and not fall for another fucking hoe again.
cundardunfinished 3w ago
I understand your points but yes I am jaded, I'm a little older and see all women as temporary so don't really care about long term attachment or being loyal. If she isn't loyal she will be gone and I'll find another, whatever. I think it's a mistake to trust a woman, you should expect even LTRs to break at some point.
When I say "super plate" I just mean a woman who is a very good plate, she cooks you dinner, gives you a blowjob, cleans your place while you take a nap after. This turns into a LTR because you maybe have other stuff going on than dating and are happy to keep her around a while. It does not mean you marry her or otherwise make serious obligations to her.
Rollo has some good takes on this but tldr there is a split in redpill around histories. I think older guys tend to think they matter less because we know all women are hoes in the right circumstances, so categorizing women as good or bad tends to be a waste of time and gives you blinders to characteristics that all women share. If we're talking about having children or something more serious then maybe it's more important but still the fact is you never actually know her history so it's an imperfect measure of the future. We can agree in extreme cases like if she is a prostitute you should just avoid that but for the median woman for me if she fucked 3 guys or 20 it really makes no difference to me in my experience with her. Like a rental car I'm just gonna test the top speed and do burn outs until it's time to take it back.
First-light 3w ago
Nice dodge there. We are all weak. One need not apologise for it.
Men are kind hearted and loving by nature. They pair bond by nature to women through sex. Ok you went on tinder and then caught feelings. The only thing to regret would be going on tinder to start but then you probably weren't thinking of a relationship when you did that. Its the world men live in these days. Women are so devalued, relationships are so risky, but sex is pretty easy to get if you can stand courting the sluts long enough. We are all weak. We all know better than to talk to sluts at all as we only ever lose valuable time and /or resources in return for non committal sex. But we are all weak and it is a very rare man who cannot be seduced at all by the right slut on the right day.
I guess the lesson is avoid sluts if you are ready for the self denial but are you? Otherwise its just a risk you have to take.
She was a lucky find that girl -there for the sex and honestly not wanting to be serious. Quite unusual. Did she have other options that were more high value or was she actually that very rare species -the genuine good time girl older than early 20's?
kommissionary 3w ago
Thanks for these words. It means a lot to be reminded.
I live in a very secularized, feminist western country. Where I live you more often see men alone with strollers than women. And the gyms have more women than men. This is not even hyperbole. So women that have casual entanglements are quite common here. However, this particular girl I think was just gay (bisexual) which I always find have more proclivity towards experimentation and non-commitment, and also I suspect she might have some anti-social traits (just based off of her persona, past and relationships to others).
But none of that really matters, because she is the definition of a hoe. The golden rule is, hoe's can't commit. I was a fool for thinking she could. On to the next.
BimaryCode 3w ago
If
And you were able to walk away, its a big win for your brain programming. You learn to do it when you want.
kommissionary 3w ago
Thanks dude, appreciate it
No-Stress-Cat 3w ago
We are all human, and we all have feelings. We all get caught up in the moment sometimes. There's nothing to apologize for. You fell down, you got up, you learned your lesson. Good man.
This was a good field report. This is the kind of stuff we need to see more of here on these forums.
kommissionary 3w ago
Thanks for the kind words and the reminder. And you're right. Get back up and move on.
Have you ever been in a similar situation? How did you get out of it and what main lessons did you take away from it?
No-Stress-Cat 3w ago
Can't say I have. My experience comes from a time before social media was a thing. The hook-up culture back then consisted of going out to bars and clubs to meet women, but everything was local.
Later on, when the internet became a thing (dial-up), I did meet my previous two wives over the internet, but I actually traveled and met with them face to face and got to know them before jumping into a relationship. That was back when I was a subscriber to the Blue Pill. It wasn't a Captain Save-a-Hoe situation, but more like the Disney Fantasy Prince Charming coming to whisk the Pauper Princess off to his magical castle to live happily ever after.
Both turned out to be the Wicked Witches of the West. Granted, I have to acknowledge my part in the downfall of both Romes, but I learned so many valuable lessons and gained valuable insights about who, what, when, where, how, and why not to do.
MrSupreme 3w ago
Let it serve as a lesson about what you're looking for, if you weren't looking for fun sex and deep, meaningful conversation you wouldn't have developed feelings. Maybe you're looking for that and that is why you couldn't help it. We are the romantic ones, not women.