I have a friend who is suicidal because he's short. I always laughed at him for being so insecure because I never saw the problem. Then I started lurking here and I'm worried about him. Advice?
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AwakEning123 10y ago
Honestly tell him to read double your dating by david deangelo or the game by neil. It opens the complete truth about women's attraction to men "Attraction is not a choice". Yes being 5'3 is a disadvantage but it doesn't mean he's out of the dating scene. Is he a virgin? That could explain why he feels insecure. I know a 5'4 guy slaying bare girls because he has good game, also he maxes out his looks. I'm 5'6 barefooted and 5'7 with shoes on. I was never insecure with my height because I used to suffer from severe acne and that was 100x worse than being 5'3 (acne is gone now). Remember there are PLENTY of tall guys not getting laid. If it's a matter of feeling weaker than others take martial arts or a fighting class specifically grappling based. Some of the best fighters in the world were shorter than 5'9
[deleted] 10y ago
I'm 5'3. I was extremely depressed about my height for a while, especially when I found TRP. Tell him to start dieting and lifting. It's amazing what a six pack and some great arms will do. Your height almost becomes invisible when girls can play the xylophone on your abs.
muffcheese 10y ago
There was a guy at my old college gym, who was 5'4" and the scariest guy I've ever seen in my life. He had biceps the size of a human head with 1/3" inch veins running through them. He had a permanent facial expression of homicidal rage. I would honestly rather fight a 6'3" linebacker than tangle with this dude. I wouldn't be surprised if he could literally rip someone's arms out of their sockets. Not entirely sure how he did with women or if his level of ultra masculinity was too much for girls, but he definitely exuded confidence and dominance.
squarehead93 10y ago
5'4" guy here. Completely agree. You wouldn't believe the positive reactions I got once the fruits of my working out started to show. You may never be the 6'2" guy, but you can look like the kind of guy who could snap most 6'2" guys in half, and that counts for something.
[deleted] 10y ago
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[deleted] 10y ago
It's funny. The girls I see that are about 5'0 or less actually tend to go for guys that are super tall. 6 ft plus. I have a lot of success with girls from 5'1-5'6. It's definitely a smaller pool but I work with what I can get.
markasstrick123 10y ago
Women 5'2" and less are generally extremely insecure about their own height so they feel the need to compensate with a really tall guy. I find insecurity just as unattractive as girls do. That's why the sweet spot is 5'4".
emprise 10y ago
if you're short and you bodybuild, you're gonna look even shorter.
[deleted] 10y ago
Being short is only unattractive because women innately connect height to the ability to protect her. If you compensate it by something like being a fighter or bodybuilding it adds back some of that attraction. That's my broscience take on it. But then again you can't argue with results.
emprise 10y ago
my broscience is, a girl wants a man who's happy with his life and in your case not insecure about his height, i.e. able to make fun of his own height yet still be happy. i know plenty of women who chose shorter guys than me (6'1") because of their larger confidence, just to give u some hope ( as a caring bro <3 )
ab_roller 10y ago
Best answer. And also some shoes that add an inch or 2.
[deleted] 10y ago
Cowboy boots and boot cut jeans ftw. It draws in the shit test of being made fun of for dressing like a hick. Have a canned response for that and you're in like sin.
[deleted] 10y ago
Cowboy boots and boot cut jeans ftw. It draws in the shit test of being made fun of for dressing like a hick. Have a canned response for that and you're in like sin.
AFPJ 10y ago
Gets reply from someone named "ab_roller"
I can't be the only one laughing at this...
MasonJarTeaDrinker 10y ago
LMAO, I didn't notice that, now it's got me cracking up.
[deleted] 10y ago
No, don't do the shoes thing. It is VERY obvious, believe me. Plus it shows you are insecure about your height and are compensating
Olipyr 10y ago
I'm 6'6". I've thought about getting them for shits and giggles. Just to see what it would be like to be even more of a giant.
I disagree with you, though. It's not at all very obvious if you spend a little bit and don't cheap out on them. Just like everything else, putting a little extra money into it will usually mean much better quality.
dubknight 10y ago
It's like the male equivalent of makeup, it might even build some rapport with the ladies
[deleted] 10y ago
Yeah this. I thought about buying those lift shoes a few years ago but now I look back and realize how dumb they would have looked.
FaithfulJinn 10y ago
Stupidest shit I ever heard.
The only people who give advice like "dont change and accept who you are" are people who are truly insecure. I wear shoes that add 2.4 inches, theyre subtle and stylish, they get me to average height 5'9"/5'10", and they look so good I frequently have random women fucking approach me and ask what brand Im wearing.
Then again I paid money for the quality ones. They're subtle and stylish. If you go cheap they might look obvious.
If anything wearing them has made me more secure about my height. If anyone asked I would just tell them my shoes make me taller. Only truly insecure men give the advice not to change things. If you dont like something then FUCKING CHANGE IT.
Dont take advice from other men who dont have the confidence to do something like that and dont want other guys to do it. I reccomend every guy under 5'9" get a good pair.
ab_roller 10y ago
Yeah exactly. Dress to accentuate your good features, and to downplay your not-so-good features i.e. height. I think some people here are picturing Austin Powers style 70's tall shoes and not a subtle boost from a heel or thicker sole. Example, my Luggz boots alone make me an inch taller than my casual sneakers.
Dante-S 10y ago
Telling someone not to wear ridiculous looking shit just for the sake of appearing taller is not the same as "don't change and accept who you are." I'm not even sure how you made that leap, actually. Nobody said that.
Wearing boots for the sole purpose of boosting height, ESPECIALLY when you need them to feel "secure" about yourself, is ridiculous. It's a crutch and downright pathetic. The number of panties soaked after hearing "yeah, I wear these shoes to make myself appear taller and be more secure in myself" is exactly zero.
markasstrick123 10y ago
And the number of panties soaked after seeing a guy at 5'3" is absolutely zero. So wear the fucking lifts.
markasstrick123 10y ago
And the number of panties soaked after seeing a guy at 5'3" is absolutely zero. So wear the fucking lifts.
FaithfulJinn 10y ago
The shoes don't look ridiculous you fucking idiot.
you literally cannot tell that these shoes have lifts inside them. they're specifically designed to be subtle.
It's not like they're huge 70's style platforms. They look like any regular pair of shoes. There's no way you could tell someone is wearing elevator shoes unless they told you or they took their shoes off and you noticed the difference in height.
[deleted] 10y ago
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FaithfulJinn 10y ago
Tallermenshoes.com
Wide selection. High quality.
I have 2 pairs and I have literally had random girls come up to me downtown and complement my shoes. You cannot tell the shoes elevate your height.
Be careful with the suede type materials they lose quality if they get dirty.
eatsleepxrepeat 10y ago
I have some Asian friends that do this. Girls will notice when the shoes come off. Especially in their Asian homes. Also, during sex.
FaithfulJinn 10y ago
I wear mine all the time. I've banged girls in the very same night and never heard shit during sex or even walking a girl to a taxi cab without them in the morning.
This is a really dumb concern.
I've never been asked about my shoes and if I did I would just tell the truth. "My shoes make me taller". What's the big deal?
antariusz 10y ago
As a 5'8" guy (almost 9) who knows nothing about shoes, could you point me in the right direction of "quality" shoes? Like specific brands, or style, maybe an amazon link? I mean, I'm taller than 90% of women already, but every little bit helps. Especially since I need to buy new shoes soon.
FaithfulJinn 10y ago
tallmenshoes.com
you literally cannot tell that these shoes have lifts inside them. they're specifically designed to be subtle.
jjshinobi 10y ago
Did you mean http://www.tallmenshoes.com/? I guess there's a market opportunity to make more stylish shoes like these because these are low quality.
FaithfulJinn 10y ago
Fuck I mean tallmenshoes yeah.
These are pretty high quality. They have a huge selection of casual, formal, and semi-formal shoes and all of their shoes are subtle. You cannot tell someone is wearing height increasing shoes when they wear these.
I've ironically gotten nothing but complements from women on 2 of the 3 pairs that I own. They're complementing the style mind you, these women have no idea these shoes have built in soles.
Not sure how you can insult the quality when they have tons of different brands and styles... That's like saying Footlocker has low quality shoes despite the fact that they sell Adidas, Nike, Puma, Converse, etc.
Or insulting the style of Nordstrom's stores shirts when they sell v-necks, t-shirts, short sleeve button ups, long sleeve button ups, etc. It's silly.
jjshinobi 10y ago
I saw a lot of suede and I consider suede low quality. There were some good ones though.
How'd you combat the double sexist standard on suddenly you being 2-3" taller because of your shoes?
Edit: In other words, have you ever been confronted as sketch for doing this. I'd feel fake. That's why I'd probably never buy these all though I'm short as hell at 5'4". Women are expected to not be accepted as they are and accepted as they appear to be. That's why they wear make up, high heels, weave, eye-lashes- because men like the illusion. Men, are accepted as they are, because women like sincerity and realistic presentations. I'd might buy a pair to piss people off though or to go raving in October.
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spiderman1990 10y ago
I'm 5'3" and happily married with two children. I also drive my dream car and live in my area of choice (decision made when I was about 15). Tell him to go get 'em!
My dad is 5'1" and happily married. He also owns his own company. I don't think he has a dream car, but I imagine he would buy it if he did.
jjshinobi 10y ago
I want to be right there with you in two years (similar position, except: 92, and my dad owns his dream car but not his dream house).
FaithfulJinn 10y ago
Short guys dont all want to find a girl and marry the first one they can like some. desperate manlet.
Some short guys want to bang multiple women and live the player life. Being short is a major hindrance.
Hate when people say Im short and married as if its some accomplishment.
TestosteroneFilled 10y ago
Can you tell more about your life? I'm not short I'm average height but I got other major flaws. I'm really curious about how you met your wife, and did she ever say stuff like"You short ass prick" etc.? Females do this often, where they will overlook your flaw but in a fight or something they will rub it in your face.
spiderman1990 10y ago
January 2007: Met my wife. March 2007: She was pregnant. December 2007: First daughter born. January 2009: New mom and baby moved in with me at my parents.... June 2008: Started going to school at the local university. April 2011: Second daughter born. May 2012: Graduated cum laude. July-August 2012: Moved the hell out of my parent's house and into my own apartment.
My wife was never derogatory about my height. She might have thought about it, but she never said anything out loud. Her dad left when she was 6-ish, so she had a daddy complex. I was there at the right place at the right time.
One other thing that comes to mind: she had really bad teeth when I met her. She was sweet and all but needed braces like a fish needs water. I knew I'd eventually spend thousands on her mouth if I stayed with her. Here's the damage so far:
$3500 to remove an abscess and her 4 wisdom teeth, $3000 to place in TEMPORARY crowns (can't have permanent for braces), $2000 to remove some teeth to make space for the teeth (her problem was too many teeth not enough space), $3000 for the braces.
I'm still waiting for the bill for the permanent crowns and the one porcelain tooth she will have. I like to call her my "fixer-upper." She didn't think it was funny until the Frozen movie came out and the trolls made a song about it.
I never really comment on this subreddit, but I'm starting to see why there's so much to read at times.
100Timeswww 10y ago
I'm short. My last ex and I got into every kind of fight you can imagine but I never heard anything like that. I kept such a good frame that she would know saying something like that wouldn't even make me flinch.
[deleted] 10y ago
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superyay 10y ago
I've been to Korea recently, and there really aren't too many short guys there.
[deleted] 10y ago
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Ill_mumble_that 10y ago
I think Japanese are pretty. Not much fan of other Asians.
[deleted] 10y ago
That's an awful long way away. Tell him that if he was a foot taller (such as myself) short petite girls wouldn't consider him.
You only need to be taller than a girl. There's shit loads of girls 5ft 3 and under.
football1010 10y ago
I'm 5'3'', and the majority of girls shorter than me are trying to date guys over 6 feet tall. Most short girls don't date men around their height, unless they are approaching the wall or post wall.
Gigem_longhorns 10y ago
Can confirm. 6'6" - Most of the girls I've dated have been less than 5'4"
[deleted] 10y ago
Interesting. I see a lot of tiny girls with average to below average guys. Confirmation bias? haha All I know is being short is not the end of the world when it comes to dating/getting laid. Just gotta know your market and play up your strengths.
DazPatrick 10y ago
I'm 5'9" and I'm still considering that. Asian girls are so sweet compared to snobby entitled feminist American bitches
MasonJarTeaDrinker 10y ago
5'6 here, why doesn't it bother me as much as you guys? I find it so odd, I mean yea I'm short but chicks still dig me so I don't see the big deal.
watersign 10y ago
you're the exception, not the norm. most women view males under 5'9 as inferior sub human garbage
Johnny_Shades 10y ago
Depends if you're good looking or not. Guy's faces can make up for how short they are. I know a kid at my college that plays hockey and is a good looking kid. He's like 5'4'' and wheels girls all day.
MasonJarTeaDrinker 10y ago
I got a good looking face I suppose.
DazPatrick 10y ago
Has nothing to do with height. It's about bitchy American girls
Johnny_Shades 10y ago
That's not true at all. Height is a natural factor in a girl's first impression of you.
DazPatrick 10y ago
The context of my argument was about snobby American girls. Yes I know women like taller men.
MasonJarTeaDrinker 10y ago
Move to Los Angeles bro, they don't seem to give a fuck here, at least not in my experience.
DazPatrick 10y ago
I lived in San Diego for a few years. Plenty of snobby bitches in SoCal
MasonJarTeaDrinker 10y ago
Never tried picking up over there so I can't comment, it's a nice city though.
[deleted] 10y ago
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[deleted] 10y ago
dude, 5'3 cannot possibly be the average height for a man
garlicextract 10y ago
An analogy I've heard is "height is to women as weight is to men" meaning what if you hear about a great girl, funny, kind, sweet, pretty... but overweight. Done, dealbreaker. Same with a guy being short. If you're about 5'8"-5'9" you're in the "clear" - you may not be ideally tall but you won't be hated on for being short.
At my height, 5'6" , or OP height, 5'3", the consequences are severe. We are to women, what fat girls are to us.
rlh1271 10y ago
What about 5' 7"? WHAT ABOUT 5'7" OP?!? (I'm kidding. I dated a girl who was 5'10" before. Height isn't everything to them. It helps but you can more then make up for it.)
blazingcopper 10y ago
The cruel part is you can't change height it's so fucked up.
watersign 10y ago
its true. ive noticed that most of the girls who are genuinely interested in me are extremely low quality- even the hot ones. usually they fuck blacks/latinos, have daddy issues and substance abuse problems. its unfortunate that when i meet girls that are interested in me, i can almost 'predict' it
[deleted] 10y ago
Can we just side bar that short dudes need to just gain muscle mass, be confident, dress nice, and not have an inferiority complex about it?
Yes being short is not attractive as a trait. Luckily SMV is composed of many traits.
onehonesttruth 10y ago
No offense, but you are an asshole.
[deleted] 10y ago
I assume he means laughing at the idea of him thinking his height was such a big issue. As opposed to just flat out finding it funny that he's insecure.
[deleted] 10y ago
Its still not cool to laugh at something like that, since he is a friend.
incraved 10y ago
Which still makes him an asshole.
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markasstrick123 10y ago
No offense, but you don't get it. I laughed at him for being insecure for being short, not short.
markasstrick123 10y ago
Maybe that came out wrong. What I mean is I don't see it being this big of a deal to be insecure about it.
onehonesttruth 10y ago
Oh yeah that makes it so different. Like someone who laughed at someone for being insecure for being in a wheelchair, but not because he's in a wheelchair.
markasstrick123 10y ago
Simple pickup did a video showing you can get girls even if you're in a wheelchair. Even one on a short guys. Suck it up and get out there. And oh no you guys downvoted me my life is like totally ruined now
onehonesttruth 10y ago
The only thing votes of +78 post to the fact that you're an asshole -9 to the fact that you laughed at him for being insecure supposedly makes it better, is that the overwhelming majority of people agree that you are an asshole, and do not buy your shitty attempt at a comeback. We know you can continue to live your life as an asshole and make people like your "friend" want to kill themselves, it doesn't mean we endorse it or that it's the right thing to do.
If I was you, I would probably wish that a "friend" of yours laughs at you for one of your weaknesses to the extent that you want to kill yourself so that you know how it's like, but thankfully I'm not you, so even I wouldn't wish you such misery despite how much I'd love to think you deserve it. Because I'm not an asshole.
NoFatChicks88 10y ago
No doubt being short has its disadvantages and severely limits the dating pool, but it's not impossible to score. I've also got a short friend who's about 5'4 or '5 but he's a charming and really fun individual and girls love him. He's bagged more tail than I have.
Help him get in shape and improve his style. Shorter dudes need to maximize these things.
Ill_mumble_that 10y ago
5'6" here and women often mistake me for 6'. Having a strong physical presence and domineering personality goes a long ways.
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Good2Go5280 10y ago
GET THE AUTHORITIES INVOLVED!!!
QQ_L2P 10y ago
Guy needs to get out of his mental rut and work on his presence. Does height make a good first impression? Yes. Does being a 6"3 bitch get the girls wet? No.
Work on his presence, being in shape and with your boys when you go out is more than enough social proof to negate some of the height issues. He's obviously not going to be everyone's glass of water, but it's swings and round-a-bouts, next the stuck up one and move onto the next.
Btw, straight up laughing in his face when he says this is an insecurity for him saying "I don't see it as a problem" isn't the best way to go about it. It's obviously a problem for him, all my friends are 6"3+ (I'm just shy of 6"0) so I feel like the shortest shit in town when I hang with them. Then I go out and realise, oh, I'm actually not short, these fuckers are just tall. However, the fact that I am with my boys when I go out and I project myself, I don't curl up or back down just because my taller friend is doing something means that while I may not make the best first impression in the group, my personality and banter can carry me.
Your mate's got his work cut out for him, but at the very least he can some of the negative points against him from the first impression through working on himself. Obviously he's never going to be George Clooney, but work with the hand you've got.
[deleted] 10y ago
It's he's legit suicidal and not attention whoring, it probably has very little to do with his height. He needs to seek help immediately.
Suicidal people might say it's because of this or that, but there is usually an underlying mental problem. Height is just what he happens to be focusing on.
incraved 10y ago
I fucking hate douche bags like you who downplay others' problems because they don't have them themselves.
robesta 10y ago
Bring short sucks. I feel for him. That being said, that's not the cause of him being suicidal. Get him some help.
Entrefut 10y ago
Tell him he'll have a really easy time getting ripped. Women see height just as much as they see muscle and body strength. It's going to take work, up he can over come the height thing. He just has to admit he will likely not be dating 5'6" plus girls.
beware_the_syllogism 10y ago
Several women I've been out with let it slip "they really want a guy to be 6'4" which pretty much rules out about 90 something percent of all males.
Rooibosisboss 10y ago
Well my brother is 5'3", he say 5'4", but his license says 5'2", but yea, he's around that height. Short either way.
Now I have my own issues with him as far as being his brother goes but let me say this.
It has never been a problem for him. He has always been considered one of the most popular and nice people by just about everyone who has known him (teachers,parents,other kids) from preschool to now (He's almost 28). He got into lifting in junior high and loved it. He knows nutrition and started working at a gym. He got a Bachelors in Kinese and got a masters in statistics. He now teaches at Penn State as a Professor full-time which he started part-time. He'll be set in a few years money wise.
He has won multiple body building competitions (being smaller can be a huge advantage for this), and he is all natural. He's bombarded with compliments his whole life but has always been pretty humble, (I can only imagine his height is a big part of that).
He's always busy, but is such a good time manager he seems to be able to do anything. For example just 2 years ago; He balanced 3 jobs, working out, masters level college classes, tutoring in addition to the other 3 jobs so call it 4 jobs, keeping up with talking to and going out with his then girlfriend now fiance who he had been with for almost 10 years, now 12, and he still managed to hang out with friends and have other interests; had a $12,000 harley, likes going to the beach, watches good movies occasionally, craft beers.
He has just purchased a house worth near 300 grand and will be eventually getting married to a really nice and decent woman (as far as i can tell).
Quick example of the effect he has had on some people. His one friend just got married in Cancun. He's basically known him since he was like 8. I've known this kid too since my friends and my brother's friends used to hang out all the time as kids (backyard football, kick the can, etc.). Anyway, this particular friend of my brothers used to be pretty fat and kinda annoying and his other friends used to make fun of him. I'm sure my brother was guilty of that on occasion, but never to an extreme extent and actually was often the opposite, nice and kind to him. This kid eventually lost a ton of weight gained muscle (became cool basically). Fast forward- He is getting married in Cancun. My brother was initially invited as a groomsman (The friend decided not to have a best man), but had to decline because just not sure he could afford it, having just bought a house and proposing to his girlfriend. So this friend of his, not a particularly sentimental or poetic guy, wrote a multiple page poem that would make most men shed that one manly tear about how great he was growing up. So my brother decided to go. I should also add that while my brother still sees him on occasion, the two of them really hadn't hung out all that much the last 6 or so years, making it all the more impressive he still wanted my brother to go.
For reference I'm his younger brother, 2 years younger, 25 to be exact. I'm about 5'9", which isn't tall at all, but compared to him it is and my life is much worse. I'm lazy and procrastinate, most of the past I haven't ate well or taken care of myself the way I should. I'm pre-hypertensive and a slew of other medical problems. I lack serious motivation and have basically never had a girlfriend. I only just got my bachelors in Business a year ago and I don't even like business. I'm trying to get my life on track, but that's another story.
You can be a miserable failure of a person at any height, just as you can be a happy success of a person.
Sorry this is so long and probably badly written, grammar and syntax or whatever, but I felt the need to post this here.
Basically:
Go for broke, be a good decent person, screw naysayers and be yourself.
And to leave with a great quote overall, height aside, from Jim Carrey at some graduation where he was speaking
"If you can fail at something you don't want to do, may as well fail trying to do something you do want to do."
Hope this helped in anyway, if anyone read all this, thanks.
[deleted] 10y ago
At least you have a badass brother to aspire to! Same thing for me and my bro.
kjuca 10y ago
I went through the same thing, took a long time but I basically came to terms with the fact that I'm not as tall as I was supposed to be (dad is 6'2"...) and it's going to be a handicap and there's nothing I can do about it. The key is letting go of the idea that he needs a woman to be happy. Easier said than done, but he really just need to find fulfillment in his life through himself and not through a woman or his perceived value to women.
niczar 10y ago
That's clearly a disadvantage, however being overly concerned about it to the point of obsession and depression is a sign of an underlying mental disorder IMO. He needs to get help, and as always, beware of SSRIs.
thepillwastaken 10y ago
I am curious why being depressed about being 5'3 is a mental disorder.
And that is sincere since you seem to have knowledge in this area.
Being 5'3 would suck really hard. It's unfair and a true hurdle that many people could not handle.
I think a lot of people start to think - maybe ill die and become someone better the next go around. They walk around and see everyone enjoying themselves and they are struggling to understand why.
Not sure if that really is a mental disorder or just someone saying "fuck this shit".
niczar 10y ago
People with a sane mind get over that shit.
markasstrick123 10y ago
Having every woman first impression 'he's short' and every guy not respecting you thinking he can beat you up. Just think about that for a second. Not getting much respect (if you get any at all) everywhere you go. It's people like you saying dismissive things like work with what you got and a bunch of cliché shit like that are the ones who couldn't handle being in my buddies shoes. I honestly wouldn't even be surprised if he did go through with killing himself. This is red pill dude, don't mollycoddle.
niczar 10y ago
You don't get it. I have mental health issues myself. I didn't need to be short or have any physical difformity to feel worse than your friend.
omgimbackagain 10y ago
Its not a victim competition in here. If you are trying to say that your physical life circumstances cant effect you mentally. Come on son.
thepillwastaken 10y ago
Its a lot to get over for some people. Thats all I am saying.
niczar 10y ago
Well not being able to get over stuff is basically one of the definitions of clinical depression.
thepillwastaken 10y ago
Makes sense, I never thought of it that way.
I guess I can see how it would be easier to have clinical depression at 5'3.
niczar 10y ago
People with a genetic predisposition to depression don't just get depressed out of nowhere. It takes a number of heavy stresses to push them into MDD. Realizing that one's height is a problem would count as one, I guess.
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niczar 10y ago
They don't work very well, and their sexual side effects are very annoying. On the plus side, they don't kill you. They're the first line treatment for anything those days, but in truth the only thing for which they work well is OCD.
rpkarma 10y ago
Lexapro helped me, at least to where I could learn CBT. They're a band aid, and that's if they work for you, not a cure all. For a lot of people they don't help much at all. I was one of the lucky ones, but then I had straight boring clinical depression, no cause or trigger, just felt like I wanted to kill myself but that would've require effort, so meh. Depression sucks, but CBT helped me beat it (2 years since my last episode now, longest time since I was 16).
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niczar 10y ago
Suicide is more a result of them actually working. Severely depressed people feel so miserable that they'd rather die, but they're so lacking in energy that they couldn't even get that done. When they rebound, either through antidepressants or naturally, their energy to do stuff may recover before their sadness subsides, and they're at a risk to themselves.
[deleted] 10y ago
Really? That's fucked up. I can't imagine being so lethargic that you can't even bother to kill yourself despite wanting to. Fuck.
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wiseclockcounter 10y ago
I'm very thankful I followed my gut and decided not to take them.
niczar 10y ago
Some are worth a try. Bupropion has an interesting side effect profile. Other than that, the only ones that appear to work consistently with few side effects are the very old MAOIs (Parnate/Nardil). But they can cause deadly interactions with some foods and drugs. In truth, those are really not hard to avoid and the risk appears to be exaggerated.
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niczar 10y ago
That's surprising, it's normally more of a stimulant (it's sometimes used for ADHD.) but everybody reacts differently I guess.
[deleted] 10y ago
There is always a better solution to depression than drugs.
Whether it's exercise, meditation, counseling, vacation, hookers, whatever. There is always another, better, safer way to treat chronic depression. Always.
SSRIs, MAOIs etc are some of the most powerful medicines known to man. They literally change your brain chemistry, sometimes permanently.
The shitter is that many medical professionals rush to prescribe these pills before any other type of treatment is even considered. It's really fucked up.
Ochreata 10y ago
The allopathic medical profession is great for injury treatment but absolutely useless for diseases. They have only one drug out of thousands that actually cures anything, antibiotics.
The very fact that they will dispense drugs before even checking known causes of depression shows their lack of desire to actually cure people. Certain Vitamin and Nutrient deficiencies are known in the literature to cause depression and mental illnesses.
Vitamin D3, Niacin and other B group vitamins, Iodine, Iron, Selenium, Zinc….just to name a few, all have known links to mental illness. How many doctors check your levels of these first? None!
Go to a nutritionist for illness; go to an allopathic (normal) doctor for injury.
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whatsazipper 10y ago
Standard procedure for physicians these days. It's disgusting.
I've only been talking to you for 15 minutes, but here, take this benzodiazepine. Yes, it's one of the most addictive drugs known to man. You know what? It really works well as a combination therapy, so take this script for Lexapro too. I'll see you next month.
niczar 10y ago
Saying someone with MDD should exercise is like saying someone with type 2 diabetes should stop having such a crappy pancreas.
Psychomotor retardation is an extremely common symptom of depression. It's almost always present in severe cases.
At least, Valium works.
whatsazipper 10y ago
Benzodiazepine dependence is no walk in the park.
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niczar 10y ago
Well it definitely helps in the least severe cases, it's just that as a generic prescription to depressives, it's insulting.
whatsazipper 10y ago
Ethical issues in psychopharmacology
niczar 10y ago
The serotonin theory for OCD appears rather solid. IIRC chemicals that selectively destroy serotonin cause OCD-like behaviors in animals, and SSRIs do work well on OCD.
The idea that depressive disorder, a much more nebulous disorder with ostensible impacts in many pathways, could be caused or cured by a single neurotransmitter has long been disqualified.
whatsazipper 10y ago
Link me. I am interested in information in such information, as always :)
niczar 10y ago
I'll try to find something if I can, but that was what I was told by a neurology researcher I met years ago.
He'd also told me that, amazingly, OCD was rather unaffected by the placebo effect. Unfortunately, I haven't been able to confirm that claim otherwise.
edit: well look at that, first google hit, "Absence of placebo response in obsessive-compulsive disorder." This is from 1980 but there are more recent hits to that effect.
This is a significative fact, because while Prozac is barely better than placebo for depression or most anxiety disorders, it is much more efficacious for OCD. In raw numbers though, they work for the same % of people in those cases, it's just that for everything but OCD, the placebo works almost as well as Prozac.
whatsazipper 10y ago
I don't doubt there's an association with serotonin and anxiety/OCD manifestations. Polymorphisms in serotonin receptors have been detected in assocation with anxiety and OCD disorders.
However, I don't think SSRIs are the right tool for the job at all. I'd start with investigating some of the 'off-limit's research such as: Safety, tolerability, and efficacy of psilocybin in 9 patients with obsessive-compulsive disorder.
ColdEiric 10y ago
It's not size of the dog in the fight that matters. What matters is the size of the fight in the dog.
It doesn't matter if your friend is a short guy or a big guy. He can't change that. But he can choose to be a man, and learn how to be a man. If your friend doesn't create a man of himself, then someone else will milk and extract what's left of him.
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blazingcopper 10y ago
Short is a serious obstacle though. Unless you have a nice face to compensate, if you're short and average or worse in facial aesthetics, you're pretty much fucked in the sex marketplace.
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KeepPushing 10y ago
Get prostitutes. Devote more time to working, earning, and then fucking. Upgrade your whores by buying more and more expensive ones. Treat getting your dick wet like a game and level up.
antariusz 10y ago
Getting your dick wet with prostitutes is a good way of catching chlamydia (or worse). Prostitutes that fuck without protection are not a good idea. I am not a smart man.
Source: I've gotten chlamydia before
blazingcopper 10y ago
Huge waste of money. Would rather have an actual plate or ltr.
[deleted] 10y ago
You just said above that such an option is scarcely available to short men though.
KeepPushing 10y ago
You are shorter than most girls and you expect yourself to have a LTR with whom exactly? I'm not implying it's impossible to get girlfriends at 5'3", I'm truly asking about what kind girl you can realistically get. Anyone can get girls if they lower their standards enough, so what kind of girl can an average 5'3" guy get to commit? And why is that girl better than a 9/10 Russian babe who charges a few hundred bucks an hour that you can bang without all the emotional bullshit that comes with a relationship?
And why exactly are prostitutes wastes of money? They are probably some of the best things you can buy with money. It's a service like any other, if you do your research, you'll get a professional who'll treat you right and make you feel like a million bucks after you've finished. I'll disclose I've never had any experience paying for sex but many of my friends do and they have nothing but great things to say about prostitutes.
antariusz 10y ago
Well, the biggest problem is the amount of money they charge. At least here in the the U.S. for quality.
It's not unreasonable to expect a 9/10 to charge upwards of 200 an hour. I like to have sex probably 4 times a week. It gets expensive. I generally go for slightly lower quality girls. So I guess I can roughly afford to LTR a prostitute of the same quality woman that I can get "for free"
freefire137 10y ago
I'm 5'5". I honestly see it as more of an advantage than someone else, how maneuverable I can be in sports and situations. Height is not a problem, how the person sees it is the only issue
watersign 10y ago
girls dont give a fuck about how its advantageous in certain sports. as someone who is alittle taller than you, i do like my height for my hobby (motorcle riding/racing) but it hasn't done anything for my sex life.
redpillbanana 10y ago
Reddit has some short support groups such as /r/short. This thread might me of interest in particular:
A support group for anyone who is depressed because of their height. Add your name to the list if you're willing to help out. http://redditlog.com/snapshots/931637
Edit: here's a documentary on short men: http://vimeo.com/6780321
One of the men in the documentary has success with a foreign bride (Eastern European IIRC).
Women from all countries like tall men, but some cultures don't obsess about it the way that women in the USA and other western countries do.
[deleted] 10y ago
For the love of all that is holy. Stay the fuck away from r/short, that place is a cesspool of white-knightism, beta hamstering, pity parties, and suicidal people yelling "woe is us."
That will make anyone willing to kill themselves over height take the plunge.
MasonJarTeaDrinker 10y ago
LMAO for real, that's a sad, sad place.
redpillbanana 10y ago
Thanks for the warning, I didn't realize it was so terrible.
I've only read a few posts from there and particularly enjoyed this one:
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[deleted] 10y ago
Move away from Europe, Africa and North America
wtf_isthissh 10y ago
Your statistics are shit, lads. I'm 5'6", had them all from 4'10" to over 6'. Some tall birds love shorter guys. Analyze the physcology all you want, there are 8 billion people on the planet, not hard to find someone that is interested in your particular flavor.
All that said, when you master yourself everything else falls into place. Getting hung up on details you can't alter will significantly stymie your efforts to achieve self actualization.
kick6 10y ago
You...I mean your friend...should start reading some threads from /r/pussypass. Hopefully you...I mean your friend...will quickly realize that these disgusting creatures he wants are NOT worth killing/dying for.
And then he shold go start racing motorcycles because he problaby has a tangible weight advantage. Just ask
Dani Pedrosa and Marc Marquez
Rougepellet 10y ago
He just has to come to terms with the fact there is really nothing he can do about his height. It's just his genes (unless there is a surgery to make you taller, wouldn't be surprised). The best thing he can do is compensate by working on every other factor that he can actually change. Not just physically either. He can work on getting a higher position in his job as well.
[deleted] 10y ago
5'4 guy here so I can relate. I think the main thing that gives me confidence throughout the day is that I learned to wrestle from a young age (2nd grade). I'm also decently jacked for my size.
When you know that your tough, and can whoop most peoples asses regardless of size, it is a major boost in confidence. Your friend likely feels threatened, disrespected and helpless to it all. I know because I can recognize those feelings when a man whose size and stature would be likely to overpower a any level of skill and toughness that I might have.
I don't necessarily have a good answer to this. Fighting, and wrestling, isn't easily picked up as an adult. All that he can really do is compensate. Get a gun. Make a lot of money. Study game and TRP, so he can at least understand what's going on instead of feeling frustrated, confused and helpless.
You have to learn to play with the hand you're dealt.
superyay 10y ago
Extremely subjective. I started martial arts a year ago and I'm pretty damn good.
Jar_of_apples 10y ago
I think the "get a gun" advice needs to be fleshed out a LOT more than that. Just buying a gun to be a badass, or have a lot of power is just a short-term solution, and could also put you in a dangerous mindset for self-carry that you shouldn't have.
What he should do though if he feels he wants more control over his world through that route is start studying up on gun ownership, look into a training course, and consider going to a range to get a feel for it.To me owning a gun, and being trained in proper concealed carry means I'm ready for the worst case scenario, and on equal footing with the world around me. It isn't about feeling tough, or strong but rather knowing I'm secure and capable of protecting myself, and people I care about outside of just my own physical strength.
McMurphyCrazy 10y ago
Nailed it. If that Zimmerman guy would have trained in something like BJJ or Muay Thai he could have defended himself from getting his head bashed into the concrete and wouldn't have had to shot that kid. A gun should be an absolute last resort, not the only option.
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wiseclockcounter 10y ago
hey bro, i know you've been having a lot of trouble with confidence and suicide and whatnot, so I wanted to get you this gun to help you out and give that extra nudge... Alright, welp gotta run. Cya.
[deleted] 10y ago
On second thought, maybe not such a good idea.
McMurphyCrazy 10y ago
Find a Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu gym. I started when I was 24 and we constantly have guys who are in their 30s and 40s who come check us out. The ones who don't puss out after their first day become addicted.
[deleted] 10y ago
That's geared more towards striking right? I would definitely advocate for this option over wrestling or judo. I think men are more naturally equipped to develop striking skills than technical holds and moves.
McMurphyCrazy 10y ago
No, it's grappling like wrestling. You can spar at full speed and not have to worry about injuring your opponent. Every single day I show up to my gym, I'm live sparring (rolling) for at least 30 minutes with guys trying to choke me unconscious or breaking my arms/legs until I submit to them or vice versa. You can't really go full speed sparring every session with a striking art or people get hurt/knocked out.
People don't naturally just grapple with each other, but every asshole at a bar knows how to throw some kind of punch. You have the advantage knowing how to control someone.
[deleted] 10y ago
Ok, I see. I guess I can't really comment on learning the style as an adult since that's out of my experience. Only comment that I can make is that the very best start when they are young.
I still think learning to strike is the way to go if you're an adult. You'll pick it up easier and it has the potential to end things more quickly. Personally, I wish I knew how to strike ash stand up game is pretty weak.
FallenHighSchoolJock 10y ago
Lol at you butt scooters thinking you'd stand a chance against a wrestler or a striker in a street fight. There are no padded floors on the street.
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blazingcopper 10y ago
How is your sex life? How are you with women?
[deleted] 10y ago
Not anywhere near where I'd like it to be. I've fucked 13 girls in my life. Majority of which were one night stands and not of the highest quality. Never had any LTR, either.
Honestly, I would attribute that to mostly a lack of game. I cannot even begin to account for the amount of women who have given me IOI throughout the years, and I managed to fuck it up. Some of these girls were high-quality, too. Since studying TRP over the past 5 months or so, things are starting to drastically improve.
blazingcopper 10y ago
You actually got indicators of interest?
[deleted] 10y ago
Yeah, I did. What are you getting at?
blazingcopper 10y ago
You know what im insinuating. Im also short. Unless you have good facial aesthetics (do you?) I find it hard to believe short guys get ioi's.
[deleted] 10y ago
Ok, gotcha. Man, it's all about status. Status, status, status. If the other men respect you, so will the women. Don't take shit from no one. In order to do that, as a short dude, you gotta be tough as nails. You can't rely on your height and size like everybody else.
HitlersCow 10y ago
I know some short dudes who have more charisma than Hitler...
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[deleted] 10y ago
I doubt it. Learning something like wrestling or judo takes A LOT of practice. I'm talking 2 hour practices, 5 days a week. It's very important to start at a young age, too. Most guys that started in high school and even junior high just sucked. Also, you need to have live competition to truly appreciate the sport. In the U.S., wrestling is the only hand to hand combat sport that's institutionalized in the schools and that's never going to change.
Going once or twice a week to your local judo just isn't gonna cut it. Best advice is to learn how to strike. Boxing and kickboxing.
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[deleted] 10y ago
I'd take it. I got 16 years experience in the heart of Western PA, the heart of HS wrestling. I wrestled in college doing two a days for 6 months straight. I've been in thousands of matches. I've faced some of the best in the world and held my own. You can't gain that type of experience at your local dojo.
superyay 10y ago
When I had my white belt, I was tapping out wrestlers left and right...
Conditioning is great in a fight, but if you don't know sub defense it doesn't really matter. For instance, wrestlers have this bad habit of pressing their head down into your chest and I triangle choke them each and every time. It takes them about 5-10 tap outs before they start to unlearn that bad habit.
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[deleted] 10y ago
Yeah true. It would definitely be beneficial none-the-less.
Cycix 10y ago
I'm 5'3 and I found a wonderful girlfriend that's 5'4-5. When she met me she was super attracted to me because my personality was almost like her's. All you have to do is work on the good qualities you already have. Tell your friend not to worry too much about trying to attract a woman, just tell him to focus on his own strengths for his own well being, and eventually someone will take notice and find him attractive. If not, so be it. At least he's comfortable with himself and he would kick ass at whatever he's good at.
Olipyr 10y ago
First, stop laughing at a suicidal person. You're being a cunt.
Second, tell him to quit letting that be a hindrance. Lift weights, put on some decent size, and get fashionable. He needs to work on himself before he can attract anyone else. If need be, tell him to get psychological help.
EDIT: He needs to get a hobby or three to get him out and about. This is the biggest thing that helped me when I was feeling very suicidal and actually stuck a gun in my mouth. Getting my mind OFF my depression helped so much in my recovery.
Third, be a good friend to him. Dude is obviously hurting inside since he is suicidal. No need to be a fucking prick and laugh at him for something he can't control.
markasstrick123 10y ago
I mean I was laughing at something at the time I considered ridiculous. Like how a every woman has low self esteem about her looks. Of course I'm gonna laugh. Suicidal people are pretty selfish as they do not see the big picture. You're one dude in the world. No matter what you do you're most likely going to be forgotten so just have fun with it. I'm 23 and already balding. Guys are insecure as hell about that and I'm just over here rocking a shaved head, being awesome.
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FaithfulJinn 10y ago
Using celebrity examples is beyond silly...
markasstrick123 10y ago
Whenever people use celebrity examples I expect the person to have the maturity level of a three year old.
jagrmeister721 10y ago
Yes, how dare they make a point using a visual reference we hold in common....
mordanus 10y ago
I know a girl that hates short guys. She constantly talked about them like they were the plague. Then all of the sudden she meets a short guy and this guy magically did it for her. She was willing to settle down and have a family and everything. The point of the story is that short guys can still be attractive.
I'm 5'6" and I know that my height isn't a plus for me so I do other things to become attractive. You need to explain it to your buddy that he is like a flat chested chick. There will always be a lack in his physical attraction but he can get past that by compensating in other ways. Financial success, physical strength, learning game, become a musician etc. The fact is that it is going to be harder for him to get a quality woman but it isn't impossible. He just needs to work harder than other men.
markasstrick123 10y ago
I don't like reformed girls like that. That's messed up. It's like saying for the longest time I hated black people but now I like them because I met one that did it for me. Fuck that girl. She'll always harbor hatred for short guys (most just don't prefer but you said she HATES).
mordanus 10y ago
Yeah she's messed up in the head. She would always comment about my height to me and stuff. She doesn't want them all dead or anything. She is just taller and doesn't want a man that is shorter than her but she came around anyways.
BigBubblesNoTroubles 10y ago
Putin is 5'7" and alpha as fuck. If you let your height, ethnicity, or whatever define you then you are missing the point.
Have him build himself in all the ways he has control over. Hard work and discipline in all aspects of his life.
Winning the genetic lottery is not a prerequisite for success. Although i am sure it helps.
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[deleted] 10y ago
Bring your friend over here.
[deleted] 10y ago
I'm 5'3" as well. He needs to stop thinking externally and work on his masculinity. Working out and do other manly things to cultivate a better frame of mind. Yeah being 5'3" doesn't make it easier, but fuck life isn't a walk in the park either. You got to work with what you have and face the reality. Either he's unwilling to make changes in his life improve himself or he's honestly has issue with depression. Either way he needs to help himself or get help.
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jjshinobi 10y ago
I'm 5'4", tell him to get more sports hobbies and workout! On my day off I lifted the other day for an hour, boxed for an hour, and played soccer for an hour. Felt like a god. M-F I lift, MWF I box, TR I play soccer, W is my leg day, and I'm waiting on my surf board to become a weekend warrior (every morning in the weekends either swim or surf). Moving to PR or other islands where the women are shorter helps too (Japan or wherever the fuck).
MasonJarTeaDrinker 10y ago
Good for you bro, fuck the trolls.
TRPer69 10y ago
how did you get over the tiny penis part. sure champ that chode will rock her world
markasstrick123 10y ago
If anything they can get away with having a small pens cause it looks huge on them. An average size on a tall guy looks small. And we all know women are all about looks
jjshinobi 10y ago
I'm Puerto Rican and well hung.
[deleted] 10y ago
Look at his history. He's a troll that put TRP in his name to make us look worse.
jjshinobi 10y ago
Haters gonna hate lol. But seriously, the only place I troll is on my alternative account over at /r/funny. If you have something else to do besides justifying how my life is much worse than yours, go on and do that.
Ap_Ercino 10y ago
Did being short stop Kevin Hart? No.
[deleted] 10y ago
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markasstrick123 10y ago
I hate this here. If a short guy is a billionaire no woman would ever comment on his height. So fuckin dumb
FaithfulJinn 10y ago
Celebrity examples are beyond stupid
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BoredOnATuesdayNight 10y ago
At least one of them looks like a horse without makeup (Petra). Tamara is hot. dunno about Deborah
averageredditor123 10y ago
Focusing on being great is good advice, but I hate using super successful people as examples. We can't all be billionaires.
100Timeswww 10y ago
It's easy to look around and see other successful short guys in town too though. I agree with you though.
Stormtrooper_in_Love 10y ago
Better that than a small dick.
BoredOnATuesdayNight 10y ago
Tell him to get into soccer. That's a sport where lack of height has a slight advantage. Of course it's not really the sport that is going to "cure" him but the benefits of playing it.
phe_nom 10y ago
If he is suicidal he needs some serious help. That requires immediate attention. Get that addressed and after that, there is a post on good looking loser that addresses this topic specifically. Some girls will just not date short guys, it's unfair, but it is reality. What he needs to do is get all other cylinders in his life firing into overdrive. Get serious style, get ripped, get social freedom. Some short guys do indeed get a lot of grade A pussy, but they have everything else on lock. Being short is not a lifetime virgin sentence.
I just want to reiterate though, he MUST get some help for his suicidal thoughts and likely depression FIRST. Self improvement is great, but it can't fix that on its own.
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[deleted] 10y ago
He could tell girls that he is 6'5 when he stands on his wallet.
On a more serious note, if he is desperate enough to be suicidal, is he desperate enough for Height Lengthening Surgery? Over a hundred posts no one came up with that answer? Google it and you will have more that enough info on the procedure, to include sickening pics. It's where a quack, I mean doctor surgically breaks the bones in your legs and resets them slightly apart. Your friend can gain up to three inches for the mere cost of $50,000 to $75,000. If he is desperate enough to talk suicide, is he willing to drop the cash? I'll bet that would shut him up.
xu6 10y ago
Can get the surgery from 12,500 euro if you're willing to go to Volgograd in Russia. I'm still tossing up whether to make the journey. This guy's diary of his trip/surgery makes me wanna go even more
Ohmyqueef 10y ago
Damn, i'm taller than some of you guys and i'm only sixteen 5'5.
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redeleven 10y ago
For inspiration he can check out the videos of Boris from the youtube channel Cupid Schmupid.
He's like 5 feet tall and picks up girls on camera: How to Pick Up TALL Girls [Youtube]
Basically, for every major flaw that one guy is depressed about, there is another guy out there that has that flaw but owns it and gets out there and has extraordinary success with women.
See more "flawed" PUA's: /r/TheRedPill/comments/1zxajs/pickup_videos_from_a_short_guy_a_bald_guy_a_poor/
Yeah, its life on hard mode, but success is not impossible. The cliches are true, even with most "hard cases", the only thing that is truly stopping you is a lack of courage, drive and determination.
blazingcopper 10y ago
I can't really hear and this understand what's being said in the short guy's video. Is he actually successful? Getting ioi's and numbers?
[deleted] 10y ago
Being tall isn't the best either. You actually have to work just as hard to get with women, as they look at you as being tall AND they expect more from you. They expect you to be mysterious, to be great at everything, to always know just what to say to make them melt. You start with such huge expectations, and as soon as you fail to deliver on any of them, you see the women slowly losing interest.
When you start out short, you can only go up. Granted, it probably does take more work, but not enough more to make you suicidal. Make sure your friend learns how to play music, too. That tends to cure all height bias in my experience.
dontfeelrich 10y ago
I'm 6'8 and can confirm this guy is very wrong.
FaithfulJinn 10y ago
One of the stupidest posts Ive ever seen here
blazingcopper 10y ago
Seriously? At least you're getting attention from the opposite sex. Getting uninitiated attention from women is an alien concept to short guys.
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