tinder never worked for me. LOLs.

You would be interested in RSD Julien's Transformation Mastery. He talks about letting go of everything: pick-up, self-help, the gym, everything. Like you said, just drop it and see how you feel. You will probably do something original that you genuinely like and are proud of. And if you really do want to do pick-up, etc., then you will, but it will come from a place of abundance.

Bullshit right here:

A few months ago I decided to try something new in my life: to abstain from dating any girls for a while and to see what will happen.

Translation:

"I stopped putting in effort to date and get laid"

The only fucking way you "abstain" from dating is if:

A) you have plates B) you go out of your way to ignore their calls for your cock or you tell them off.

The fact that you mentioned neither means my translation above is likely accurate.

Let me tell you a (not so) secret that about < 5% of men here have:

• they have multiple FB's, MLTRs and even ONS so frequently that it as an act of serious will to stop the pussy from flowing

I myself have 3 steady plates (2 FB's and 1 MLTR) for 2 years now... down from 3 FB's and 2 MLTRs.

They all know I am non-exclusive and they each see me at most 1 time per week (for sex of course).

Plus I cancel on 1-3 new first dates per week and pick 1 new "promising" candidate to go out with to ensure my roster has new potential leads.

Do you think I can simply "abstain" from banging these girls brains out and dropping my loads down their throats?

Fuck no. I would have to ghost them all as they come around to take their medicine each week and buy me gifts.

I considered letting a couple go to "abstain" but honestly they look so happy guzzling my load and getting orgasms from me that I would not want to take that happiness away from them. I do it as a community service and spread my wisdom and give them the pleasures of hanging out with me. Why take it away??

You need to fucking lift more, learn game, and get into the habit of cold approaching every 7 and above as well as sending 100's of online dating openers per week. Effortlessly.

There is nothing more easy and relaxing than a 1 hour date with a random sexy creature following Blackdragon's first date script.

Proof that you are a newb where you even think the pain is greater than the pleasure:

we discover that the amount of actual pleasure and happiness we are getting from this blind process is much smaller then all the suffering/pain/stress that this is causing us.

it's like digging up an endless hole in the ground seeking a treasure we will never find.

YOU'RE DOING IT WRONG STILL

I never got as much peace of mind as when I finally decided to tell girls to fuck off and live my own life, I am sure most problems in the western world would be solved if men stopped chasing women and started to do what they want to do, not what they have to.

Girls bring stress. I learned that when I was 21. 8 years later. Three businesses, a house, investment property, investments and jewellery that'll make your favourite rapper jealous. And I NEVER worked for anyone but myself. I fucked the same girl since I can remember. She is bi and started getting serious with her girlfriend. I was fortunate enough to have a couple dates with both of them. However, it's not easy. I went over a year with busting a nut. I don't know what's happening in the world, politics or culture. Just stay up to date with my Dolphins. Phins up bwoiiii!!!!! I go do my thing all day and come home to custys. I'm only 29 but the past 8 years have been lonely as fuck. I know I'm gonna look back at these days and laugh. For now I'm gonna keep doing me!

Non religious minority livening in a large city. Toronto the city famous for girls with attitude. Been consistently working on myself gym, meditation, career, social activities, trying "game" all kinds in different environments daytime, nighttime. Keeping positive and trying to increase my social circle. Read and watched all rsd material from now to five years ago when I started. David Angelo, David Paterson, tony Robinson, and whole bunch of positive and motivational people on YouTube. I read a lot, I watch a lot of documentaries. Regardless of my no success I keep pushing forward. Would love a lay some day.

I have also had long periods on and off where I gave up on chasing women like op to just worry about my self only and forget the whole pussy chasing shit. Well that did no good I got the same results as when I was trying-0

Well you didn't make up a new physics theory by this post.

Nothing equals happiness. But a lot of many small things together make happiness.

This mane is trying to say not getting laid is cool and red pill betas are eating it up! There's nothing stressful about being cool and having women gravitate to you. Unless you're trying to negotiate attraction in which case go MGTOW. Spare yourself the futile effort.

We cant make women our first priority in life!

Isn't this just going monk mode? After a relationship I'll take 8 months to a few years off dating to focus on me, I'll still sleep around but there's no emotions involved on those hookups and I don't go out of my way. If pussy falls on my dick then alright but otherwise I have more important things to worry about

Dating is pointless, yes. But I still want to go out and bang someone. Alcohol helps dumb down all those higher functioning thoughts. I improve myself the rest of the week. It's not a big deal. None of it is.

Since when was dating one of the keys to happiness?

My obligatory response to the word happiness.

It's chasing a different dragon. Don't do it. Stay on mission and stay strong, and the cookies will just happen.

It's nonnegotiable that everything in life is about sex.

We're driven by our genes and testosterone to accumulate power in the form of higher status, better car, better house, bigger muscles, etc. This is done predominately to gain more opportunities for reproduction but that's just part of who we are as men.

We can't just ignore that we're sex driven.

And there is everything wrong with a women sleeping around.

Finally a brush of fresh air! There have been so many threads about how to pick up girls lately I almost forgot the most important thing about Redpill philosophy: "self-improvement". keep doing what YOU WANT and dont listen to anyone else

not trying to be edgy and gay, but dating indirectly led to happiness for me

obviously it wasn’t the source, but the validation and respect was like a drug as you describe. a drug called happiness

i don’t think it matters much what we do, so long as we are plugged in and respected at the end of the day

As someone whose a virgin what does then?

But if we choose to stop for a second and look at this process - we discover that the amount of actual pleasure and happiness we are getting from this blind process is much smaller then all the suffering/pain/stress that this is causing us.

The stress is proportionate to how you loathe (or not loathe) to pretend, hide your mind, and play the female-male mind war game. I'm considering leaving the field too — when you get conscious you have to wear masks all of the time, it becomes hard to both respect yourself and the hens that take nothing aside from being gamed.

So you acihieved short term happiness basically.

Same as someone who takes break from work. You're gonna have to go back eventually to achieve long term happiness.

I can relate to this so much. It was almost like an addiction throughout the last 4 years.

But the last 2 months have been bliss. I feel truly happy and I am progressing faster than I have ever progressed.

Furthermore, spending more time making money = more money = more women. So it's win win.

Women are a short term pleasure. Fun in the moment. When you quit dating, you're left wondering what you gained from ever partaking in it. It feels empty.

I mean, we’re conditioned to want to date because of how society views love and romance. Of course we see dating as a reward or else we wouldn’t want to date, couple, whatever. The problem comes when you convince yourself that you NEED to date. Once you get off of that mindset it’s obvious and you ironically start being more appealing because you’re not desperate. Not caring about dating for a long time has helped me date. I know my reality is that I’m not a very outgoing person towards people I don’t know so dating strangers is difficult. Dating strangers is not how romantic relationships happen and that’s what everyone who has dating problems with that need to understand. Tinder is not a natural way to date, but it is an outlet and a chance to date unnaturally. It’s all about understanding what works and what doesn’t, the tactics you need to use. But ultimately to not be using those tactics to turn people into tools for your use.

Before I was even aware of trp, I made two choices that drastically improved my dating experience, a. I would not get into a ltr for a full year and b. I would make sure to have a good time on every date. I even had to tell one girl, who was falling in love with me, that I "wasn't falling in love that year." Lol. But it really made a difference on dates, because whether it clicked with the girl or not, I was still having fun doing what I wanted to do. She was along for the ride, and if she dug it, then I really didn't have to do much to move to the next level. It was...gasp...easy...

i did the same but at some time i noticed i was looking for prostitutes because i just had the necessity to have sex but didn't want to spend energy with 'dating' and 'keeping the girl in the circle' with messages and whatsoever. just wanted something easy that could me get that feeling for a while.

I agree, I just started tinder and it's like a drug. Every swipe or match your brain surges with dopamine fantasizing about the girl.IMO it's no different from porn. I wasted so much time constantly checking it and hamstering when I should be studying.

Haven't "seen" a girl for over 2 years

Women are just a passenger on the train to your goals and the goals beyond. You put in too much time and got great with Chicks. Now you abstain, get awesome at life and realize and increase your self worth. Next move is to balance the two and enjoy the life. Happiness is subjective and BS, its a state of mind. It changes form time to time. Never static.

The survive and reproduce theory is BS as its was relevant when the humans were scarce.

Today it should be - enjoy fuck progress-in-life repeat.

When did this sub become such MGTOW?

"Directly after copulation the devil's laughter is heard" - schopenhauer

But if we choose to stop for a second and look at this process - we discover that the amount of actual pleasure and happiness we are getting from this blind process is much smaller then all the suffering/pain/stress that this is causing us.

This is the reward schedule for anything that provides short term reward. Most negative things in life have a short term reward schedule. (Drugs, booze, video games, crap food, porn, spending money, etc). Most positive things in life have a long term reward schedule. (Education, fitness/lifting, healthy food, career focus, saving/investing money, etc).

The core of discipline is the ability to defer short term reward for long term gain. Focusing your life around getting a ten minute short term reward of pussy is a prescription for disaster. Instead, if you focused on all long term gains, you would find that getting that short term fix would be the least of your worries.

I gave up dating a while back, the stress just wasn't worth it

My life is a lot better and happier without that hassle

Let them chase you. It's a whole lot easier. ????

Monk mode is a great phase to engage. You acquire a natural abundance mentality purely by disconnecting & resetting yourself - you channel a patience and discipline that really grounds you. Self improvement is a breeze.

But monk mode only lasts so long - on the order of 6-24 months.

As it subsides make sure to keep an eye on your motivation - be present and aware of your real-time experience. Women, as much of a pain in the ass they are, have a biological influence of keeping us sharp. Their hypergamy drives us to compete in dominance hierarchies - competition with other men to be the best.

When you take women out of the equation you'll need to source your motivation from elsewhere. Chasing/fucking women is like a drug - your hormones keep you hooked to it when you're on it. When you disassociate from it and break free from the addiction, your hormones slow down. You reach a point where you can pride yourself on not giving a shit about women - because literally you don't. It's liberating.

You'll have more time, and you'll have more resources. You'll buy all the toys and gadgets you want, and you'll spend more time on the hobbies you enjoy.

But it's never enough, you'll notice something doesn't feel right. You'll feel a boredom - it confuses you and scares you. You keep filling your life with shit you tell yourself matters, you'll proceed with your routines.

At this point one of two paths will happen:

1. You continue down the path of your routines and your MGTOW lifestyle. Your motivation continues to bleed, you let yourself go. You continue to search for a purpose. Having more money doesn't satisfy you - you perpetually chase activities in attempts of achieving fulfillment.

2. One night you go out being social with your friends. Your mindset of abundance will attract a hot girl you weren't even looking for, or maybe you run into an ex. You'll fuck for the first time in a long time - and it will be one of the easiest lays because you genuinely didn't try at all. You'll feel like a king that night.

When 2 happens, you'll notice something strange about yourself. The hormones start raging up - you're hornier and start thinking about sex more often. You notice your motivation climb - something went off in your psyche and it feels good. You'll fantasize about women again - all of a sudden you give a shit. It may anger or confuse you, or you could even feel ashamed of it - you feel like you lost all the "progress".

What happened is you've re-engaged your biology. You're back to competing in the dominance hierarchies. You're face to face with your biological purpose - the evolutionary destiny that is procreation.

What are you gonna do then? Go back to MGTOW? Or are you going to respond to your biology?

I'm trying to figure out the answer to that myself.

Exactly. Women won't make you happy. Sexually you can give yourself better orgasms with porn, mentally you are more stable cos women, especially multiple women, can drive you crazy, emotionally you are more stable, physically you crush it more

I'm starting to believe it's social conditioning. Praying on base instincts of men. I don't believe I get laid anymore, I believe that the girl is getting laid. I just get sore muscles and a bit of mental stimulation, probably enacting some perversion in my head

And this is how we get stuck in this maze of constantly seeking for the "cheese"

you need to understand life never designed us to run mazes, we evolved to cut through the maze anyway we want, yet we reinforce the maze instead and then end up here wondering why lifes so difficult.

dating and jumping through hoops to entertain and provide in so many different ways is just a heap of crap, don't date.

Whatever the reasons, a bit more of DGAF for the purpose of development is good. Activities can be fun each iteration, but long term they may stress you out. Throw these in the trash temporarily. Instead, go to the gym, go for a walk, meditate, whatever the fuck, as long as it doesn't involve electronics. Grow a new perspective, return with a better approach that doesn't stress you out.

I remember my last dry spell in 2014. Decided to not chase girls and just focus on my mission only. One of the happiest years in my life.

Thing is when it comes to following your instincts, you know something's missing when you're ignoring all the girls that are attracted to you. 2014 taught me a lot about how girls show their IOIs (and some were so blatantly obvious a blind man could see them) However I realize that 2015 onwards, I deluded myself into thinking having a girl by my side would make me happier. Big mistake.

My lesson I learned was: You don't need girls to live a happy life. But if you decide to have one, enjoy your time with her. Don't make her the centre of your life, you will regret it.

I didn't read it, just the title, but I can vouch for this.

I was talking to my recently divorced brother and I had just broken up with my gf at the time.

We were like, looking around our lives like "where are the problems? What is going wrong without me noticing? Surely there must be something. Our women were always complaining or causing a stir over something!"

But no. Nothing. Just peace

Happiness leads to dating girls, though.

When I'm in California I definitely don't date and I only hook up here and there up in the naked hot springs. Back there women infuriate me and I become quite sexually frustrated, even if I've just hooked up recently. Now I'm currently in Eastern Europe, East of the Carpathians in a tiny city and I'm not frustrated at all even though I haven't been banging lately. I've been focusing on my programming projects and I just released my beta1 rc1 to the folks back home who are depending on me. Feels good and now I'm jamming on my sabbatical projects and that feels really good. I see lots of women around that appeal to me and I know that I'm going to snag one when the time is right and that also feels really good. I'm also busy looking at real estate and studying with my private Russian language tutor and that feels good as well. So I'm not having sex just right this moment and everything is pretty neato actually. I feel good because I'm seeing lots of progress on many fronts and I can imagine that the future continues to be good. Well, back in California I just feel dread. IMO things aren't right at all there. A woman, not a woman, doesn't matter. Sure a good woman is a +1 but if other things aren't good enough for you then a woman or three isn't going to make your life awesome. I'm verifiably miserable back in California and that isn't at all the case over here.

Yes and no.

Happiness should always come from within. And every man must be 100% comfortable being alone.

But chicks are so fun. Flirting, dating, touching, teasing, fucking. The smell of her hair. The look in her eyes when she surrenders herself to you. The little gasp she makes when you enter her for the first time. The sound of her laughter. The way her lips look when she smiles. The softness of her skin. The warmth of her body as she presses herself against you. Those little dimples on her back. The animal noises she makes into her pillow when you're fucking her from behind.

Yea, you can be happy without chicks. But God, how boring!

I went 8 months; no dating, no sex. Just goals, purpose, and self-development. Every man needs to go through a period like this. It should be a modern right of passage.

On the flip side, when your veins are pumping testosterone, it's close to impossible to ignore the call of nature. For many (myself included) this means requiring me to fulfill my evolutionary duty to spread my seed in order to find happiness. And there's nothing wrong with that. If man wasn't built with this drive, our species would have died out long ago.

Don't make up excuses because you're stressed about not getting laid.

Dating is something men are brainwashed into believing they’re supposed to do in society and women are brainwashed into believing they are super special, and that the men should wine and dine them and pay for everything. How about sometimes the man pays, sometimes the women pays and sometimes both? How about just hanging out at her place or your place and having a humble night in by watching a movie and chatting or something? Also, society is brainwashed into believing that relationships are all about romance and emotions, never mind integrity, decency, faithfulness, loyalty, unconditional love, etc. Romance is the least important thing in a relationship; it should come after all the hard work is put in on both sides. If a women has nothing to bring to the table in a relationship besides sex she is nothing but a worthless flesh hole.