Technology can be a powerful ally for a man in his pursuits of women. With apps like Tinder becoming increasingly popular, men are back in the drivers seat when it comes to selecting mates, even if most don't realize it. Many threads have been written before on effective online gaming, so this post will shy away from how to effectively pick up online, and instead focus on one of the biggest mistakes most men make after they have achieved initial attraction and interest: excessive texting.
Text messaging can be a highly useful and effective means of rapid communication. Used properly, you can keep your plates and LTR highly invested in you through sporadic touch-points.
Unfortunately, used incorrectly, text messages can also be your undoing. I've written other posts previously on effective text game if you're looking for tips, but let's talk a little bit about why texting too much is a dangerous game, and the reasons why less really is more.
Think of your run-of-the-mill basic bitch. The girls we all know too well - leggings, Michael Kors bag, PSL in her left hand and cell phone in her right. Tick-tacking away on her iPhone is her favourite thing to do - watching Netflix on a Friday night is a close second. For your average basic bitch, her cell phone is glued to her hand for a few reasons:
- It provides regular validation for her through constant notifcations of likes, comments, and friend requests from all the beta and omega orbiters she has circling her.
- It allows her to regularly gossip and chit chat with her similarly basic friends.
And last but not least -
- It provides a means of regular communication with the AF's she's interested in and chasing at present.
Note that I said "she's chasing" and not "being chased by." Alpha's don't chase - instead, they are pursued.
But how does one shift from "chasing women" to "being pursued by women"? Well, that's another post entirely, but if you're raising your SMV by lifting, improving your career, social skills, etc - you'll notice the shift occuring over time as you start giving more women the tingles and become further pre-selected.
So back to our basic bitch. She's sitting at the local Starbucks, drinking whatever grande non-fat extra whip whatever-the-fuck latte is that flavour of the month, phone in hand, tick-tacking away. Beta Bob has been blowing up her phone all day, responding to every text she sends within moments, like he's been literally staring at his phone waiting for her reply (In all likelihood, he probably was). But basic bitch Betty, even though she may reply to Bob, isn't really too interested in him. It shows whenever he texts, and all of a sudden she doesn't reply. Sometimes for hours at a time. Maybe a day or two. Bob can't understand. What did he say wrong? What should he have said instead? Where is she? Is she alright? Did she die?
No, she's still in Starbucks. But Betty's kind of busy now. You see, Alpha Alan finally replied to her message from six hours ago when she sent him a nude pic. And what was Alan's reply?
"That's my girl."
Fucking tingles activated. Three words. One sentence. And instantly her panties are moist.
"Mm you bet. ;) Can't wait to see you Saturday!!" she replies.
And then nothing. Alan doesn't reply. Why?
Because Alan has real man shit to do. A mission he's on, that can't be interrupted by some tail that's after his cock. After all, he's got three other bitches all wanting the same thing. He's got a meeting in an hour and he has to finish working on his notes. He'll reply to her when he has time.
If you haven't fully redpilled yourself, this all might sound counterintuitive. Why does Betty like being ignored by Alan when Bob can actually talk to her right now?
Because, you idiot - Alan isn't ignoring her. He's focusing on what he needs to do to be the best version of himself he can be. He's advancing his career. He's lifting weights. He's reading a book. He's cooking dinner. He's doing whatever the fuck he wants, and he has the abundance mentality to know that if she isn't happy with the amount of attention she's receiving from him, she can walk and he doesn't fucking care. There's always a next bitch to replace her with.
The funny thing is, while Alan's off doing all of these things to make himself a better man, she's scrolling through his instagram, facebook, whatever... just to gaze on the object of her affections - while Bob freaks out wondering why she's not replying to that super-funny meme picture he just sent her from /r/funny.
If you're anxiously staring at your phone waiting for her to reply, spending more than 2 seconds formulating a reply to her messages, you're doing it wrong. Focus on the things that make you more valuable to others - being a responsive communicator isn't one of them. In fact, she's not expecting you nor does she WANT you to text her all day. She wants a man with a mission. A man with a purpose. A man who's chasing something bigger than her. And she understands that that kind of man doesn't have time to fucking chit chat. He's got shit to do.
So put your fucking phone down and go do something worthwhile. Betty can wait.
[deleted]
damjan420 9y ago
Is nickleback the ultimate redpill
MentORPHEUS Senior Endorsed 9y ago
Being genuinely busy is key here. My young GF laughed about a guy she dated who returned texts exactly an hour after she sent them; she quickly discerned that you could set a clock by it and lost interest.
She also named a few manosphere sites and blogs she reads and discusses with her feminist classmates. Don't be Captain Obvious Idiot out there, guys!
Wolfgang985 9y ago
In all honesty, I simply hate texting. So much so, that I don't even have the notification turned on.
Sure, I'll shoot out the occasional "What's going on?" or "Damn, you were wild last night!" That said, these are rarely followed up on regardless of how she responds back.
Arousing their interest, but not satisfying their curious minds with a reply to "Wby? " or "Last night? OMG what did I do?" keeps them busy wondering about you, and what you said.
Silas_Caliburn 9y ago
This cannot be overstated. If you're in an LTR this can cause some issues for a short span, but those are just the death rattles of her text hamster.
My marriage has gotten a great deal less stressful since cutting down on replying to her mindless texts.
flexiblehold 9y ago
I'd like to add that your texts should be both deliberately concise/pithy, and ambiguous. Details are for betas who are concerned that the lady reads what he wrote exactly as he meant it. Alphas write texts that can be read a million different ways, so that their plates can occupy themselves and their hamster with hours of guessing and second guessing what he meant.
[deleted]
FocalBox 9y ago
I have a question, a perhaps this is more geared towards the younger demographic (I'm merely 19).
I'm a busy guy, if I'm not on my phone, I'm usually studying, with friends/family, at the gym, reading a book, or my favorite -- taking a nap. I try to steer clear away from my phone and texting because I want to live my life. Being "off the grid" gives me a peace of mind much akin to my early childhood, when I would just be free to do whatever I want and being present in the moment.
Because of this, I usually only check my texts once in the morning and once at night. Some of my bitches are unhappy with this and want more attention from me. Some girlfriends have even said that "it's too hard waiting for you" and occasionally sends me texts and calls me telling me they want to hang out and miss me a lot. When we do meet in person they really value the fact that I'm spending my time with them. This is not necessarily a bad thing (her showing investment/affection is always good), but at the same time I want some of these relationships to last, and I can't help but feel like I'm not exhibiting any BB traits. What should I do, or am I doing it right already?
After all, I'm only 19. I'm too young to consider a serious LTR anyway.
[deleted] 9y ago
[deleted]
FocalBox 9y ago
I do that. I feel like she's not feeling secure, though, especially when it comes to my lack of texting/calling (I usually focus on one thing at a time. When I'm with the girl I give her my full focus. When I'm working on something, at the gym, I give THAT my full focus).
trpadawan 9y ago
Text game was definitely my undoing with the girl I banged most recently. Classic chump move: she started drunkenly texting me one night so I figured, "well, she's being really quick to reply, that means I can too!"
Two days later she blew me off on our plans to get lunch. Now it's been 3 weeks of sporadic snapchats and no real contact. Shucks.
tits_out_forTheBoys 9y ago
Nice post.
Here's a nice little gem that's worked well for me in the past:
If a plate texts you on a weekend night asking you what your plans are, the best thing you can do in your response is imply that you have no intention of inviting her (i.e. Don't end the text with "hbu?"). If she asks if she can come along, make up a reason why she can't. Your fraternity's mixer is closed. You're having a "bros night." There's not enough space in your friend's car. Say whatever bullshit excuse you can think up.
You've successfully treated her like shit, but then watch what happens after that: She'll start acting like a huge slut to you, texting you during the week to come over and fuck her, all while continuing to ignore the guys who go out of their way to be a gentleman to her, do favors for her, and text her all day.
Women would rather fuck a man who treats them like shit than waste their time hanging out with a boring nice guy.
That's the point this post is driving, and it's spot on.
blacwidonsfw 9y ago
Haha I do exactly what you say. Thus is one of the responses from a plate
I know you've got stuff but it would mean a lot if you could save fri or sat for me when you aren't too swamped :)
flexiblehold 9y ago
I don't allow myself to ask a plate what she's doing or what she did. Even though I can easily succumb to reverse dread, I know better that I should give zero fucks what she's doing or what she's gonna do. If I text a plate, it's to set up a meet where I can kino escalate and go fuck her. I will text a plate after fucking to keep her asd from ramping up, but even then it's short and sweet, and sent days later, "Nice hang last Saturday, 'plate' -- see what happens when you wear heels?"
MetusBatmanV3 9y ago
You sound like a moron. There is nothing wrong with caring about other human beings. The problem is when these human beings take priority over everything else in your life.
flexiblehold 9y ago
I agree, nothing wrong with caring about people, I'm talking about caring about what they do when you're not around.
amirrezapsp 9y ago
I have a question regarding this matter, how can one treat the person like shit in the initial stages of meeting them. For instance, I just got the girl's number been texting back and fourth for a while, What strategies other than what OP said I can use to make her feel like shit?
laere 9y ago
Look at it from the girl's perspective. She's fishing for attention. You're not providing it. Her hamster starts spinning. The rest is history.
To me it isn't treating her like shit, but to her and beta's it is.
fuxxor 9y ago
U just gotta feel it man like
Most dudes are all like, ohh she replied better reply
Her text is a bump to your ego, she gives you the attention, why pay her if you can rip the ego bump from her for free
Lol
Merwebb 9y ago
I think you are reading too literally.
You are the captain of the boat, and she, being the first mate (LTR) or a plain officer (plate) admires the captain.
Does a successful captain treat people like shit?
Timmytanks40 9y ago
Yeah honestly im glade somebody said it. What sort of middle school rhetoric was that. Im embarrassed for these lowly men. Youre supposed improve yourself and understand a woman's motivations. That doesn't translate to this garbage wtf guys.
billsmashole 9y ago
I think you might be using the D.E.N.N.I.S. system
TheRedPilsner 9y ago
I prefer Frank's system: flash a wad of $100 bills and a Magnum condom, to show her that you've got money and a monster dong.
billsmashole 9y ago
Anything is better than how Charlie is with the waitress.
peoplearejustpeople9 9y ago
It's always horny in RedPillia.
[deleted]
unassumingusername7 9y ago
Text game is part of the often repeated advice, game flows naturally from having a life.
asdfghjkltyu 9y ago
Yep. Its amazing how much difference actually working fulltime and going to the gym after work improved my text game. I don't reply all day because I don't have time to reply.
Its also good to get in the habit of flat out ignoring women seeking validation. Have a boyfriend or not a reasonable prospect? No reply.
laere 9y ago
I remember back in my beta days when I didn't have a life, I'd spend 30 minutes articulating the best response to a girl's text. Such wasted fucking time ahaha.
imthemanyesiam 9y ago
i used to have a group message with my friends and whenever this girl would text me id send it to them so we could brainstorm the best response.
Corndog_Enthusiast 9y ago
You know, that's actually pretty genius in a sad way.
imthemanyesiam 9y ago
except that we came up with bluepill responses
JayViceroy 9y ago
10 blue pill men in a room will undoubtedly remain blue pill.
[deleted]
sirmadam 9y ago
I tried telling my housemate this a week ago. He ignored me. Also shouted at me for not knowing shit because he never sees girl at our house. Of course he doesn't see them, I plan it that way. If they see who I love with they won't want to come here again. He's beta to the core and has been for 4 decades. Stupid sap.
Kyuzo_ 9y ago
If you find yourself making an effort to not reply to texts, you're not busy enough.
Once you are, you'll internalize this.
RedHeimdall 9y ago
Kyuzo_:
OP:
I get it that this is a good mindset to have, but honestly it is a fake belief. Useful maybe, but fake. There are 86,400 seconds in a day. It takes 5 seconds to reply to someone's text. Nobody is really "too busy" to spare 5 out of 86k.
I think it's more accurate to say you don't care to reply to her text. As in, she's not particularly witty, there is no real important info that needs to be exchanged, I don't find texting her fun, I don't find it entertaining, and it's probably not going to make a difference on me fucking her one way or the other. In fact it may be more likely to hurt than help in that regard. So I'm just going to do as little of it as possible and save my "game" for in person.
JayViceroy 9y ago
I disagree. And here's why. As a man, you should be actively engaged in whatever you are doing in the here and now. Engaged in what is in front of you. Yes it may take you 5 seconds to respond. But fucking shit man, put your God damn phone away. When you're eating. Sit down and enjoy your food. Put the phone away. When you're lifting, turn your phone on airplane mode or use an iPod and put it in your locker. When you're at work, how about you fucking focus on working and advancing your career. When I'm in the studio making music, my phone goes on airplane mode and I work continuous for hours at a time. I'll take a break turn it back off silent and reply to texts then back to silent and continue.
It's not about do you have 5 seconds, it's about realizing what you are doing in the present is important. Not some bitch texting you asking you to like her recent Instagram post. So yes, if you just sit on your ass all day watching tv with your phone in a death grip, you'll text every person back immediately. If you want to end your constant AT&T/Verizon prayer you've been engaged in for the last 5 years, look up and enjoy the world's view in front of you. That's the point here.
Kyuzo_ 9y ago
I see your point, I guess you could also rephrase it as "you don't have enough higher priority stuff going on in your life"
I could totally stop and take 5 seconds to respond to a text, but doing that would force me to say, take my phone into the gym with me, or put down what I'm doing in the shop/garage, or really just stop doing something productive in general. It's not worth the interruption
[deleted] 9y ago
[deleted]
UnpluggedHeretic 9y ago
Intermittent conditioning is some next level shit. I apply it on every scale of my interactions with women to amazing effect.
For example: if you're interested in a woman for a serious LTR, try "hard nexting" her two or three times before you really get the relationship going. So at the peak of the initial honeymoon phase cut it off inexplicably, then take her back after a week or two when she inevitably probes you again for interest (like some rappers say: bitches be clockwork). Rinse and repeat.
Results: The relationship grows upon a foundation of dread where your woman knows full well that you just might fuck off at any moment. And since shes already seen you fuck off when things were at their best, shes going to be extra fucking careful to not give you any real excuse to fuck off on her.
In my case this has applied to 3 out of 3 girls since I started dating with an outcome independent mindset. Obviously women aren't really robots and your results will vary but I also see it as an extension of the "fuck yes/fuck no" approach to women. If she doesn't want you bad enough to come crawling back after you've kicked her to the curb for no good reason then she didn't want you bad enough to begin with.
Heizenbrg 9y ago
Thats what I did with my LTR, did what we had to do, then fucked off for the better part of two weeks. That month is now a "grey area"
IllimitableMan 9y ago
Reading the 48 laws of power is a natural game enhancer because without really becoming fucked in the head, you're taking gambits out of the Machiavellian play book and applying them quite directly. The 48 Laws of Power is like a cook book full of ingredients and no methodology, it won't make a Mach out of anyone, only those who were already that way inclined for whatever reason. For the rest of you, it's just a bunch of social gambits you can use in random situations, eg: hooking up with women.
This post effectively encapsulates the law "Always say less than necessary:" http://48laws-of-power.blogspot.com/2011/05/law-4-always-say-less-than-necessary.html
For chatty men who like to be specific this may prove difficult, but it's all a part of the general IDGAF + aloof mystique. Online or in person, unless you're trying to teach people something, be light on words and description - make her work for every drop of information, tease her curiosity, make fun, build sexual energy, escalate. A guy who puts everything out there and is always available is no challenge, he's boring.
GoldenCocaine 9y ago
While definitely true, this can also be taken too far. Becoming too aloof for too long and they'll just lose interest and go on riding the next one. You gotta not give a fuck, but still keep them hangin around just enough
iamokwithviolence 9y ago
Also, law 16: http://48laws-of-power.blogspot.com/2011/05/law-16-use-absence-to-increase-respect.html
IllimitableMan 9y ago
Oh yeah. Works online and offline. There's a lot of overlap in these laws because he's broken them down to such specific gambits.
gavtr0n 9y ago
Fantastic post. Really opened up my eyes, theres one chick (admittedly my most recent ex) that I text way too god damn much. Shes the one chick I do it with too. And when I wasn't, she hit me up for sex around 1am about 4 weeks ago - had wild sex too. Then again 2 nights later. Then again that following weekend. After that I was texting her way too much like I said, and guess what, no messages for sex in the past few weeks.
Finally joined TheRedPill, I was alpha in my late teens/early early 20's...sometime around 23 I lost it all...turning 27 soon and its time to turn it around. Love the community and what I've read so far
kafka-tamura 9y ago
Be for the most part silent, or speak merely what is necessary, and in few words. We may, however, enter, though sparingly, into discourse sometimes when occasion calls for it, but not on any of the common subjects, of gladiators, or horse races, or athletic champions, or feasts, the vulgar topics of conversation; but principally not of men, so as either to blame, or praise, or make comparisons. If you are able, then, by your own conversation bring over that of your company to proper subjects; but, if you happen to be taken among strangers, be silent.
-- Epictetus, Enchiridion
Merica911 9y ago
Great post! I would like to add some info too.
Text should you strictly as a bridge, that's it. Like, "I'll pick you up at 9" not "something I feel like.....". Never get to personal over via text. This should be practice with everyone. Family, your boys, plates, and most definitely a girl you just met.
You you need to get your point across use texting for a bridge, "let's met at the coffee shop, there's something I need to talk about". Do not talk about something that's important over via text. Like the saying goes, 20% of communication is what's said (60% how you say it, 20% tone & speed) - whatever... But when you say, "I want to fuck you" though via text, 20% of that is believable the other 80% is telling her that your a pussy and a creep because you don't have the balls to try to fuck her like when in person, you look her is the eyes and say, "I want to fuck you". Nobody ever created attraction over via text, nobody.
I somewhat agree try to avoid "lol" a lot, smiley faces, meme, group text, and never I mean fucking never text her over and over without her replying back. Trust me, if she wants to fuck you, she'll be send 3 text to your 1. She'll be the one, "did you get my text, I haven't heard from you in 5 mins".
the99percent1 9y ago
I mix it up to give myself more authenticity. You cant always be late replying texts. She'll notice, adjust her own texts accordingly and then the conversation wont have an ebb and flow to it..
Personally, I leave texts to arrange for a meet up and/or to reconnect with her if i haven't seen her in awhile. Other than that, I can't be bothered and just get on with my life.
Also, girls love to fish for info.The same predictable questions always pop up.. "what you doing?", "how are you?", "where are you?".
Remember, less is more. If I feel like responding (default: I don't), I reply with a single word 'out/good/busy' or I take a vague picture of whatever activity I'm doing.
Let her initiate, if not, move on. I've been around enough girls to know their hands are super-glued to their phones 24/7. So if the girls isn't texting you, you are not on their radar.
[deleted]
asdfghjkltyu 9y ago
Its fine to reply to texts quickly if they're in a time you should be free. Say from 8pm on a weeknight or something. But sitting there all day texting her back and forward is just a huge waste of your own time and really does show you have nothing better to do.
They're trying to assess typically if you are/have become someone worth knowing. I've had a few girls who will almost like clockwork message me twice a year with these same fishing questions and have been doing so for atleast 3 years now. I swear they have a list of guys to 'catch up with' on irregular basis.
flexiblehold 9y ago
I don't know, I text sparsely and concisely, and I notice the smarter ones catch on (as you intimate here). I don't think that's a bad thing either. If a girl isn't texting you, it could also mean she's playing a tight game and doesn't want herself to seem too available.
asdfghjkltyu 9y ago
They know you're not replying. They read the little 'read' messages. They will often comment that you read the texts at 6am but don't reply till 6pm.
cooledcannon 9y ago
Not a big deal. Might as well instill dread that way.
scrodzilla 9y ago
turn off "send read receipts", noob.
westhewolf 9y ago
Read reciepts? Is this an iPhone thing? I have an android.
asdfghjkltyu 9y ago
Don't care. I reply when I want not when they want me to. I don't need to hide
Heizenbrg 9y ago
good point. Just seems stupid to hide, what you got the cops on you? Theyll find out.
garlicextract 9y ago
Pumpkin spice. It's always pumpkin spice.
[deleted] 9y ago
Hey, man, that's a preworkout.
ForgeAndTemper 9y ago
Yin and yang. 90% of the time reply late and give sparse details. But when releveant, usually to reward good behaviour, give something more. Then go back to radio silence. This will keep them addicted to the crack, will keep the carrot just on the horizon, vs. total radio silence.
Temptationn 9y ago
I started this like 3 months ago and not going to lie 90% of people quit talking to me. I still have about 3-5 girls that'll text me daily saying "Hey!" or shit and I usually just don't reply It's not that I'm busy half the time it's just I got to the point where I don't feel like texting anyone except my close friends/family.
AgainstItAllAgain 9y ago
AWALT? I think I need an example.
amirrezapsp 9y ago
This makes sense and all but my questions is:
How do we start a conversation through texting in the first place?
hamhamt 9y ago
i would say check out the yareally archive it has some pretty decent pointers
[deleted]
nofapoclock 9y ago
this is redpill fan fiction
Merwebb 9y ago
Ive been on the field testing the trp principles and guess what? This is solid stuff.
NPIF 9y ago
It's actually a play-by-play of how I interact with my own plates. But that's okay if you think otherwise, Bob.
nofapoclock 9y ago
Like penning a lengthy, perfectly formatted Red Pill blog post on a Friday night?
I understand text game and I agree with the premise of your post. But this is silly.
kwest720 9y ago
haha! stop it man.....he had some good points
jaredschaffer27 9y ago
So contributing a bit of knowledge to a community on a Friday night (it's only 5pm on the west coast) is silly, but criticizing someone on a Friday night for contributing is totally cool. Sounds like you have lots of real man shit to do.
nofapoclock 9y ago
I am not claiming that flipping open my laptop after work, skimming a post, and commenting, constitutes "real man shit". But please don't try to compare the amount of effort it takes to do what I did with the amount of effort it takes to write a post such as the one in question.
As a stated in my previous comment: I agree with the overarching message of OP's post. However, the way in which he delivered that message is what I am calling silly. I simply don't buy that it is a "play-by-play" of how OP interacts with his plates. It reads like a fucking novella. If it was a true play-by-play, it would read something like:
Me: asdfasdf
Her: omg!sfsdfj
Me: nadsfnadsf
Her: ASDFA!!!
It reads like fan-fiction, and OP's lack of response to my comment is enough proof for me.
chickenbuttenders 9y ago
sometimes you gotta chill. cant be getting shit faced every weekend
nofapoclock 9y ago
I completely agree. I also agree with the message of his post. All I'm saying is I don't buy that it is a "play-by-play" because to me it reads like fan fiction.
SwissArmsDude 9y ago
Not with that attitude you can't
billthane 9y ago
Like reading and responding to said post? Let's admit it, we're all just dicking around here most of the time.
[deleted]