Short theory here, but one that I think rings true.
tl;dr When a woman says she hates you, it often means the opposite. And if it is true hate, that's still better than apathy.
Body When a female you're sexually interested in says "I hate you," what she often means is: "I hate (that I really like) you."
This is close to the heartiste theory that a text/email/IM from a girl that says, "Hey you!" can often mean: ""Hey (I want to fuck) you."
Remember, gents, truly hating you is not the worst thing a woman can feel for you. Most of the time the word "hate" is a substitute for "frustrated by," "attracted to," "worked up because of," "nervous sexual tension," etc. As I've said in the past, the worst emotion a woman can have is not hate as hate can be switched to desire easily, the worst emotion a woman can feel towards a man is complete and total apathy.
It's rarely true hate for you, and if it is true hate, hate is still a strong feeling, and a strong feeling is still in the ball park of where you want to be. Why? Because strong feelings are what women love and crave, and every time a strong feeling like that comes up she will think of you, and the more she does that the more you will be on her mind, and regardless of what she says, strong feelings are what motivates her to get out of bed in the morning much like competition, money, and a fat ass motivates us to get out of bed.
Lesson Learned/Theory Formulated When women say they hate you, hate is substituting for a word closer to passionate frustration/desire and she hates that she is attracted to you for it. And if it is true hate for you, that is still better than the worst feeling a woman can have for a man: apathy.
Edit - update: Just had a visit from the "I Hate You" girl that inspired this post. IHYG said "I hate you" approx 25 times in the 35 or 40 mins she was here. Slightly intoxicated, she proceeded to make sure she told me about how she was just having drinks with guy friends, said guy friends were waiting for her to get back there, she was not talking to me Tomo, I get on here nerves, etc. I told her to be careful drinking and driving, and did not respond to anything else she said. She wanted to wrestle a little bit and tried to play tough with me (to take out some frustrations I guess). Then said she had to get back to her friends. I said be careful. Stated she hated me again. Then I get the following text:
Her: Check your door I don't think I shut it all of the way (10 secs after she walks out door)
Me: silence as I'm working on side business
Her: You know we fucked the other day and I'm starting to realize you're weird, I don't want that in my life. I think we're done hanging out.
Me: 100% silence.
Her: (10 mins later) my friends left me, can I come back over?
Lulz....the hamster is strong in this one.
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Cashews4U 9y ago
Reminds me of this chick who was bat shit crazy. However, it was hard to not sleep with her because the sex was that great. One night, she comes upstairs to my dorm hall and begins yelling at me over some shit. Saying something like, "if a guurrl texts you three times about something and calls you maybe you should answer?!" and here I am preoccupied with making sure my drunk friend doesn't piss his pants here. I never checked my phone, because why would I when I'm with friends? So I go, "well, whats the big deal then?"
-"There was a spider in my room!"
Looking back on this, I realized she was telling me in broad daylight that she was bootycalling and outraged that I would dare to ignore her, or maybe she was just being batshit crazy.
I told her to essentially piss off because I'm trying to enjoy myself with my buddies while pouring myself a mixie in front of her face.
We had mindblowing sex about an hour later. Damn I miss dorm life sometimes.
AtlRP 9y ago
Not sure who dropped this gem, but I saved it when I first found this sub.
Modern-Day-Musashi 9y ago
The woman that said that she hated me the most was a LT. CDR naval dental officer, I made her wear her cover and dinner white dress jacket everytime I fucked her and chucked her around like she was one of Jerry's Kids...
I was an E-5, that SEAL pin and gold jump wings does wonders.. It was nice having her salute me after pounding that ass into the bed linen..
Metalgear222 9y ago
I've had like 3 or 4 girls say they think I hate THEM.. What gives? I know I don't give attention out that often but I'd that really enough for them to think I hate them? Probably just a big shit test
trumpisafaggybeta 9y ago
The most used word I've seen to demonstrate this is the "douchebag," read: Chad that fucks a woman and dumps her. The betas commonly see this and ask the question "well why did you date him in the first place?" I think we all know why. She had the tingles for him but he knew, after fucking her, that he could get more and better, so he dumped her. A common story we see so much with all the hypergamous women these days.
[deleted] 9y ago
This is completely true.
I used to talk to a girl who claimed that she hated me so much but would go out of her way to talk to me / meet up whenever I did not put up with her bullshit.
thenemaxofredpill 9y ago
I get the "I hate you" line at least once a week.
My go to comeback is:
"Good. We can keep this relationship strictly bedroom business, then".
Benny757 9y ago
This one is so true. Great post!
What does blue pill behavior get as it's reward? APATHY! And worse, APATHY mixed in with repulsion. Don't be a blue pill...
She hates, because she desires.... and that desire is good...very good. ;)
Stythe 9y ago
The opposite of love isn't hate, it's indifference. Even negative emotions are investment. It probably why they say there is no such thing as bad publicity.
Redpill_Hannibal 9y ago
i thought it was obvious
i wonder why nobody on this sub made a female to male dictionary
did i miss something?
sphinx221 9y ago
My supervisor 23 y/o hb8 said I was an asshole after I responded with "cool story bro" after she told me a story(with a smile on her face). I'm 19y/o her younger sister at work is my age and likes me but she's not as attractive as her sister.
Same translation? And You think i can fuck my supervisor?
TheSixthVisitor 9y ago
I have a question. What does "I love you" mean if the woman makes more money than the guy?
Redpill_Hannibal 9y ago
a fantasy, no woman would marry down
TheSixthVisitor 9y ago
I've met a lot of women who married down. Most of them started dating in high school and the woman pursues a career in uni while the guy takes a shorter technical course in the local college.
trp_angry_dwarf 9y ago
That's not marrying down. A degree in flower arrangement will never beat a boilermaker's ticket.
The woman in your scenario makes more than the guy. So to her cash isn't as important as something
The trick is to figure out what that something is. Maybe she likes the way he cooks, fucks or smells. Maybe she knows his potential is bigger than Trump, she just has to unlock it and she'll be rich.
Maybe she is trying to lock down someone - anyone - while she goes on the prowl for someone better.
TheSixthVisitor 9y ago
Yes, because I totally meant that the woman was getting a degree in flower arranging. /s
I know a woman who was a nurse and married a quadriplegic. He wasn't good-looking, he never did anything at home, and he was cheating on her. Until this day, we still don't really know why they're married but they've been together for ~25 years.
My aunt, a chemist who was dying of cancer, was in a common law relationship with a man who never did anything. Period. He had no job and he stole money. Even when she could barely walk and was weakened by chemo, he still forced her to get up and cook for for his family and their ratty little dog. Again, no idea why they were together but I remember him being around for ~10 years until she died.
So, can you figure out why these women married down? Or do you have an excuse about how this isn't marrying down? Because even after 10 years, I still don't know why my aunt never kicked out the man that essentially helped kill her.
Edit: Also, /u/Redpill_Hannibal implied that a woman marrying down = a woman would never make more money than a guy in a relationship. You contradicted him by saying that even though she makes more money and technically fulfills his requirements of a woman marrying down, she still isn't marrying down because she married for the "something".
trp_angry_dwarf 9y ago
My point is that money isn't everything.
She doesn't think she's marrying down. Nobody knows why, that's totally in her own head. Society perceives it as marrying down but does she think that?
Locastor 9y ago
Agreed
The-Ban-Hammer 9y ago
Hate is a passion. Better to be hated than treated like a lamp.
[deleted] 9y ago
100% agree. If you can get a girl feeling strong emotions, whether they are good or bad - you will have her under your spell. My last LTR ended a couple of months ago and some of the last words she said to me were "I hate you so much, but at the same time I love you and can't stop thinking about you"
I swear I could have killed someone while she was with me and she would just follow along..
[deleted] 9y ago
Mine ended 2 weeks ago with similar ground.
How are you holding up? I'm having small anger/depression periods and while I started to expand my social circle to meet new women I'm kind of not interested at all.
p3n1x 9y ago
Best time to meditate and reflect objectively.
[deleted] 9y ago
I'm not holding up too well to be completely honest. I was almost crying today at work thinking about how excited I would get knowing she was coming over, or the feeling I would get knowing she was waiting for me in bed and the nightly sex sessions we would have. I have fucked girls off tinder and started talking other girls but it isn't helping tbh.
untonyto 9y ago
As far as she's concerned, continue doing nothing until time solves that problem for you. Or take her back if she returns on your terms.
[deleted] 9y ago
Sorry to hear that. I'm mostly just angry and miss the blue pill dream but not the cunt.
I haven't fucked anybody else yet but it' possible it won't do shit. Were those girls lower SMV? That might be an issue.
[deleted] 9y ago
I think that time is the only thing that truly heals.. It sounds very BP but she was perfect for me, happy to stay at home while I was at the gym, cleaned my stuff, cooked for me, loved smoking weed and having sex which is probably my favourite pastime. Fuck.
Hope everything works out for you too my friend, it always does in the end. Fucking others probably won't help. Meaningless sex has lost its appeal to me for the time being.
[deleted] 9y ago
Sounds like we had a similar experience.
I think my goal is to get that behaviour out of women while keeping my commitment next to zero. Coming home from the gym with my chickenrice cooked, joint rolled and her ass ready is something I definitely miss. But the price was simply too high for it.
What I want to do is to get two plates. Make them to come over to clean and cook while I work out then sex. Then they can go home.
Sounds like a dream.
explorer93 9y ago
I'm assuming the attitude of hate as well and not just the literal word of expressing it.
What shall I do with the women that "hate" me? Changing their attitudes seems like a giant chore. But letting it wither seems such a waste.
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explorer93 9y ago
Well I have ex girls who I think truly hate me. And other girls who act like they hate me.
StoicCrane 9y ago
Got to that point once before in High School when I was BP. Blazed outta control. Chick said she hated me and would ever fuck a dude that looks like a gorilla (despite never mentioning anything about fucking). I replied, "Call me Kong 'cause I'm King of The Motherfuckin' Jungle." Gave me the "I want you inside me NOW" vibe.
A few weeks later literally the day of my SATs after several grueling hours walked home. Guess who drives by in their car. Note she was a Senior and I was a Junior. She had absolutely no reason to be near the campus or given region. Especially on a Saturday! Honked me down came out of her car wearing a low cut blouse, ridiculously short shorts with her hair past her shoulders. Claimed I stole her cell-phone with a shit-faced grin and used that as an excuse to pats me down near my nuts. In public mind you. Didn't close. Cringe whenever thinking of it but the BP runs deep.
Have to have crazy frame to deal with crazy chicks. Alpha behaviors from BP midsets leads to disapointment to all parties involved. RP reformation must be actively developed from within and reinforced through action, otherwise missed opportunities will ensue in abundance.
flat6turbo 9y ago
it's not uncommon. a lot of guys with very normal i.e. suburban, boring, academic/athletic childhoods missed opportunities like this because they weren't fucked up by their abusive parents or peer group. consider it a blessing.
i can think of no less than half a dozen chicks that clearly wanted my nuts when i was 17, but i was just too oblivious to care. i just liked cars and computers, like any normal kid. it's not a bad thing, as long as you reflect on it as a learning experience. you were naive. it's okay to be naive when you're literally a teenager. when you're a grown-ass man it's another story.
StoicCrane 9y ago
Yeah. Can't help but think what would happen if I did close. No money as a 17yr old=No condom. Things could've taken a horrible turn for the worst. Probably a blessing in disguise. I appreciate the input. From this viewpoint it's nothing to look back on with regret at all.
foldpak111 9y ago
Computers generate capital if you know how to do it. You need that capital to pimp out your ride. Cars and computers are logically more important than a warm, wet hole.
big_foam_shocker 9y ago
Shortly after 2:10 in this video you see what it means.
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big_foam_shocker 9y ago
It's Bill Burr's new show, F is for Family. It's on Netflix. Watching the whole episode will add context to that whole thing. Bill's character is actually the dad, and the young kid is "Billy". It's set in the 70's, very loosely based on Bill's childhood. Fucking great show. Highly recommended, especially if you like his comedy.
doveenigma13 9y ago
Not always. I'm pretty sure my ex wife meant she hated me when she said it.
LeavingColdSteelWife 9y ago
I'm thinking the same thing...the last time my soon to be ex screamed I hate you, she threw a large, heavy plastic cup at my head like she was fucking Nolan Ryan. I heard it slicing through the air before it slammed into the refrigerator. Fuck...she does hate me.
logicalthinker1 9y ago
Exactly. This is an incomplete post.
It doesn't matter "what" she says, it's "how" she says it.
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kaidust 9y ago
Agreed! I actually have this exactly situation happening right now. She picked little fights over nothing and after so much, I caved in and now she says she's repulsed by me, then proceeds to branch swing.
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doveenigma13 9y ago
Yes, that's another interpretation as well. It's all about the context and what their actions are at the moment they say things. The words mean less than their actions, but that's one of the first lessons.
CRITICAL9 9y ago
Yeah and if a girl says a guy is a dick it actually means "I want his dick."
prodigy2throw 9y ago
My nigga Sean Don already said it:
Looking at my phone like she finna call back But last night I feel like probably ended all that Cause by now she would've sent a text in all caps Then another one tryna take it all back Saying fuck you, I miss you or I hate you so much Cause girls only say "hate you" to the guys that they love
enjoys_fisting 9y ago
A woman saying "I hate you" and "You're such an asshole" means you're doing something right.
GFandango 9y ago
A little further elaborate?
Orig_analUse_rname 9y ago
This is key. Any insult makes me grin now because I know what it means.
SuccessIsMade 9y ago
Women that HATE you, hate that they love all the RP things about you. They'll scream to your face that they hate you, hate the things you do to their emotions, hate that they want you when they know they shouldn't.
Then they'll hate fuck your brains out and beg you to cum all over their face.
Women that LOATHE you, wouldn't take the time of day to say that they hate you. They just go about their day knowing that they loathe you and want no contact with you.
NeoreactionSafe 9y ago
It generally means she has the tingles.
But some women can hate for other reasons too so don't assume it's always a good thing.
balalasaurus 9y ago
Women hate their own friends. How can you believe them when they say they hate you.
NimbleFaggotronic 9y ago
As they say, the worst thing a woman can feel towards you is nothing. Women's brains operate on emotions, and the lizard brain can not differentiate between a strong negative emotion or a strong positive emotion. It still creates the "tingles" and thus attraction.
VasiliyZaitzev 9y ago
Translation:
"You are arrogant! And mean! OOOH! I HATE YOU!! You are such a doucheba....hey! Why is my pussy so wet?"
GraduatedDoenow 9y ago
The golden rule of getting women to like you, incite those emotions inside of them.
ManoshD 9y ago
Better to be feared than ignored.
rouge_rain17 9y ago
I actually discovered this one myself before i found TRP. To this day the easiest girls for me to get are the ones who acted like they hated me when they first saw me.
skittles_man 9y ago
I remember the last girl who told me she hated me. She could fit my dick and my balls down her throat at the same time.
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TermsOfColors 9y ago
Just to be on the safe side, probably should visit the thread with the rape lawyer.
Entropy-7 9y ago
Hate and love are flip sides of the same phenomenon. If some chick tells you that she hates you then have some tingles from her. It is dangerous to go down that alley, but she is there for the taking.