Introduction
There is one infamous question that has been asked time and time again on askTRP. "How do I escape the friend zone?" I am going to tell you one of the only ways to do this successfully. The secret is that the friend zone doesn't exist. This is theory and combined with a field report from this evening. I'll cut it to the main points that matter.
Body
To beat the friend zone shit test there are a few things to keep in mind. These will be covered in the field report below
1) What is the friend zone to you/her?
2) How it is presented and by who.
3) Context
Field Report
Recently met a cute girl from one of my classes (college). Chatted her up in the hall before class and got her number. Made plans for a coffee date.
After date was set I sent maybe one or two more texts in the following days. Before the date I told her I would be running late. She specifically said as long as I didn't bail (heavy IOI).
Coffee date went well but got a little heavy on the making out and I could feel the spark start to fade towards the end. I don't text her or plan to talk to her until class 2 days later. See her after class and tell her I had fun the other night and make some small talk.
Text her later about the time and place we will get together again. Says verbatim, "I honestly had fun the other night and I think you're super nice and funny, I'm just not looking for anything at the moment. I'm sorry." I get the sense this is a test as how receptive she was the other night so I reply a few hours later with, "I'm glad I didn't have to be the one to say it."
The dynamic immediately changed after this. She started teasing and being playful. I tell her, "I don't do relationships. We can still hang out and be friends if you want to. Either way is cool tho."
Here is the most important part of this. In her mind I FRIENDZONED HER. Women hate this shit. This is one game where the first one to say it wins. I was already ready to next her and didn't care either way. This also throws the ball in her court. If she wants to hang she can hit me up. If not its a next.
She starts being more flirty in text and end up inviting me to hang with her and friend (female) this evening. They end up waiting two extra hours for me just so I can go (was at the gym, not losing gains for hoes). We go to an abandoned building and I just do my thing and take pictures while they spray paint shit. I keep it a very friendly vibe and don't really try to game either one. I took pics, spray painted some stuff, and did some real light playful pushes.
Light friendly kino showed I was still completely comfortable with touching her.
As we were leaving she tried to throw more shit tests my way and get me to carry her from the trunk to the driver seat after she took off her shoes. I told her I'd rather watch and crawl accross the roof (which she immediately did) into her seat. Picked up her friend and put her on the car and she did the same.
Not afraid to touch either one, not giving into their shit tests, and still not giving a fuck. To a blue pill its a simple favor so they don't get their feet dirty. To her its making you her bitch.
We get back into town and she invites me to her place to watch a movie with them. (Already know what you're thinking. No the threesome did not happen.) As soon as we get there I claim my place on a couch and her friend grabs a recliner. Out of the 4 other chairs she sits on the couch with me and cuddles up.
Can you see the dynamic change here? I kept it friendly and let the ball lay in her court until the time was right. She picked it up and passed it back when she chose that couch out of all the chairs in there. This is where you can start doing your thing again.
We watch the movie, I play with her ass and thighs under the covers, and she cuddles up closer at every jump scare. When it's over I say I'm going home and she immediatly throws on shoes to walk me out. Asks if I got everything out of her car (already did and told her that) and walks me over anyway to check. She looks says she didn't see anything and turns around and gives me the doggy dinner bowl eyes (you know the ones). Kiss, hug, tease, and goodbye.
She isolated herself from her friend and gave herself plausible deniability. They will do this if they want you badly enough.
Lessons Learned
Remember those 3 points I made in the beginning?
1) What is the friend zone to you/her?
Her friend zone should be different than yours. Hers is all about sexless orbiters. To me all of my plates are friends. They are friends I stick my dick in but friends none the least. Keep this mind set at all times.
2) How it is presented and by who. She never said "Lets just be friends". If you hear this it's too late and you're wasting your time trying. When a woman suggests the friend zone 99.99% of the time the guy asks, "Why? / Please give me another chance / What did I do?" When a guy suggests it to the woman the paradigm is completely different. It only works if she already has some attraction to you (in this case she did). It allows her to do what all women love to do. Start the chase.
3) Context
If I had gotten a vibe that she wasn't into me or something else wasn't going on I would have nexted right away. The date went fantastic and she was even receptive the following day when I talked to her. I spotted the shit test a mile away and crushed it. If she is receptive and all went well and she tries some shit like this it is more than likely a shit test. Most guys here would be quick to jump to nexting her immediately. I was already ready to do that but I said fuck it why not. I've been on a real kick of saying yes lately and trying new things. I would encourage you guys to do the same. You don't really have shit to lose.
Closing
Again this wont work on every girl. The context has to be right and there has to be a base suggestion there. If you suggest the friend zone first it allows her to chase. If she doesn't just keep holding frame and make her a friend. Don't be an orbiter but use her to fuck her friends.
And before anyone says it I know this is written like shit. I don't revise my posts because I don't give a fuck. Treat it like a dick and take it for what it is.
juliusstreicher 7y ago
So, you didn't get laid, yet, you are giving us advice on how to escape the FZ while still in the FZ.
IdolStud 7y ago
"I don't need any more friends" has worked for me in the past.
Storytime:
This was when I still had a lot of trouble just escalating to a k-close. I was out with a short blonde girl that I shared social circle with, and ended up dancing around with her for hours in different bars - but never went for the kiss, just charmed her as I was in an awesome state.
As we were walking around the streets early in the morning towards her place, she said something like "bla bla we are friends bla bla" to which I would reply - "I have enough friends, I don't need more" in a nonchalant tone of voice.
It stunned her, visibly stunned her - the reason being, I imagine, that the guys she would hang around with (except yours truly) were AFC nice guys who would feel like their chances were toast in my situation. After stumbling around the streets, joking around, we ended up going each our ways. No kiss. I was still a newbie (lack of experience, but knew the theory).
Right before I went to sleep, she texted me to come over around 5 am (she lived 2 km from my dorm), because her alarm clock didn't work (she had lost her phone) and she had to go to work early in the morning (obvious bullshit excuse, I think). So I came over, and slept next to her for two hours. No kissing, no sex haha. To be fair I was totally exhausted.
A week later
We ended up hanging out the next weekend, with some of her friends - a cute (slightly chubby girl, who was super into me) and a handsome, but super AFC nice guy.
I met up with them around 2 am looking my best, best cologne, best hair style, best clothing. Drank two beers, and stole her away from the needy AFC. To spike attraction, I danced/hit on other girls - total contrast to the neediness of the nice guy. Around 1 hour after we had met, she wanted to get away from him. I wanted to spare him from hurt feelings, told him that I would take her home (so she was safe, lol). He ended up following us for around 200 meters haha.
At her apartment entrance, I asked her "I'm so sweaty from all the dancing, can I use your shower?" (it was a hot summer night in Scandinavia). We went up to her room. I went to the bathroom to freshen up, trying to gather the courage to go for the kiss. She wasn't sending too many signals, being rather coy, but the fact was: she had invited me into her apartment, she was lying on her bed, waiting for me to come in. I went inside, laid my head on her back and teased her about her new ugly alarm clock. After 2 minutes, I turned around, pushed her over and assaulted her face with my tongue lol (close to the truth). Had the best sex up until that point in my life, very rough and passionate. Ended up cumming in her mouth. The next day she sent me photos of her bruised back and arms. "damn girl, you bruise like a peach". Ended up hanging out a lot after that day. The End.
jizzonmypants 7y ago
The friendzone is just a shyttest to the alpha and a door close to the beta
[deleted] 7y ago
all this rambling and giant text wall and you didn't even get laid.
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SocietalEngineering 7y ago
I honestly don't know what all this talk about the "friend zone" is. Girls either continue to answer my texts, or don't. If they continue, we bang. Simple.
[deleted] 7y ago
This is in no way a statement that this is a bad field report, but you do need to get off your high horse a little bit.
Yeah but that's the thing - you were not the one to say it first; she was.
That whole part of the FR reeks of sour grapes.
What are your intentions here, exactly? You say you don't "do" relationships, but your actions indicate that you are making some kind of messy LTR play here. This is college. People hook up and fuck all the time, often after one meeting. You've now had two, some decent escalation but IMO if you don't fuck-close by date #3, it's over under these circumstances.
If SHE feels like hooking up, she can do so at any time -- just not necessarily with you. It's possible she's even hooked up with someone else in these intervening periods -- not certain, but possible. Never forget that. The goal here is YOU want to be that guy, not the one that picks up the scraps.
DadOnDabs 7y ago
I know all of this. I wouldn't doubt it either. I've already made plans for how date 3 will go and lead to my bed. My current main plate has done exactly what you said. She fucks me all the time but still let's other dudes give her attention. Idgaf what she does but I don't put it past any other girl to be doing the same thing.
And no there is no LTR goal here. Plates only.
uebermacht 7y ago
You can't get friendzoned when you never had serious female friends.
sonder_one 7y ago
She shit-tested you and you passed. You were never in the friend zone. At best you can be credited with dodging the friend zone.
Escaping it is a whole different animal.
exit_sandman 7y ago
Actually, you don't - or at least you're not solving the problem for the usual friendship situation, i.e. one where a guy wants a girl, but the girl isn't really interested in him (or has already lost any potential interest and the relationship isn't really salvageable).
What you described here is a situation where there already was some sexual tension, meaning that the girl has shown that she is potentially open for intimacy with you and is just stuck in a limbo between "should I do something with him or should I not?", hovering towards the "I rather shouldn't because (reasons)".
Most of the time however, we're dealing with situations where the only valid way to escape the friendzone (which by the way does exist) is by simply refusing to let yourself be friendzoned; and where any further investment in that "relationship" is tantamount to throwing good money after bad.
htbf 7y ago
It only exists if you allow it to exist in your mind. Like God. If you don't allow girls to FZ you, then it doesn't exist. If you are truly a master of your frame, you will be completely unshaken by rejection and will be able to smile at it and ignore it. A lot of girls will stop talking to you, abandoning any hope to have you orbit them. A lot of other girls will question your value to them and wonder if they made the right call. After all, a girl is only as loyal to anything as her feelings. Summon the right feelings in a girl and no one gives a shit what was said and what was done.
DadOnDabs 7y ago
I said this. I know I write like shit but damn you guys suck at reading.
AnjaJutta 7y ago
Do allow me to retort oh sir by saying that I indeed skimmed and scanned the dick you posted but in no way did I ever attempt to suck it.
DadOnDabs 7y ago
This is where you fucked up. You gotta suck it to grasp it.
un-supervised-savage 7y ago
Not sure why this is getting down voted. Guy didn't even brag about how hot she was or even that he fucked her, just talked about how his technique changed the outcome for him. An outcome that many have complained about here. People post success and failures on redpill as a way to learn. Granted this post should be common sense for a seasoned red piller but good info for a newb.
blackedoutfast 7y ago
so you stuck your dick in this girl? bc it sounds like you just cuddled on the sofa during a movie and then got a goodnight kiss. until you actually put your dick in her vagina, you're still in the friendzone.
don't you understand that this is exactly how girls pull guys into orbit? they tease them and lead them on jusssst enough so that the guy is convinced that she is totally DTF it just hasn't happened yet. but then it somehow never happens.
you think you're playing this girl, but she's really playing you.
Redpillwhiterabbit 7y ago
The trick becomes making that "jusssst enough" into "jusssst the tip" asap. Usually not worth it but I've made it work a few times.
DadOnDabs 7y ago
I'll update you by the end of the week when my dick is in her. I forgot you can't post field reports without fucking.
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CarnivOre93 7y ago
How to escape the friend zone? never enter.
f4yth_nd 7y ago
that work only if you can make her see you as her goal, if she doesnt see you as her goal it doesnt work ... you need to know how to maintain frame to that, using blue pill skin, and red pill ways, its fun to try but for people new to game will be lost because they will not use blue pill skin, they will become blue pill fully ...
kidwithambition 7y ago
I'll give myself two chances with a girl at max. Sometimes shit happens on the first "date" and nothing happens but on the second I have to close. After the second if nothing happens I take it she is just not into me that way and I move on, so in theory I cannot be friend zoned. I learned the hard way the first time, and so should you.
Fool me once, shame on you; fool me twice, shame on me
DadOnDabs 7y ago
There are certain exceptions I'll make. This girl for example will be a 3 date girl due to the massive shit texlst and logistics. Next time it will be my plans, my time, and my place.
htbf 7y ago
You do have to realize that most men get friendzoned before any sexual vibe was established.
Those are much more difficult to escape and will need you to cut contact. If you failed for months to make a relationship sexual in nature, you won't make it happen overnight by changing attitude. It's a fool's quest and you just just gtfo but if it happens, you will need to have a long time away from her to build your new self.
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AGameofTrolls 7y ago
I'm just going through a similar situation. Back in April I started hanging with this girl. She knew I liked her, but decided being friends was better. For months I've been playing the card that I was being dealt with, but after months of playing her game, some text messages she sent me rubbed me the wrong way and we ended up going on this rant about what she already knew about how I felt for her and she replied that she would know in an instant if something was going to happen or not. So, I just decided to let her be. She was shocked and sad that I was saying my goodbyes (guess she misses the "friend") and I told her to call me if she ever reconsidered and wanted to go out on a "proper date" with me. So, I'm giving her space to wallow and figure out if she really misses me or not. Whatever happens, it's her loss if she never contacts me again.
Hjalmbere 7y ago
You became an orbiter. Bad move. A woman will never regain respect for you once she's put you firmly in the friendzone.
I'm going out on a limb and guessing that you don't have abundance mentality and backup pussy if you can justify spending several months orbiting.
Based on my own personal experience:
Stay sexual with women you want. That doesn't mean showering them with compliments, but to be confident and funny. Throw in a dirty joke or some sexual innuendo every now and then. Giving one compliment for every two you get is a good rule I picked up from somewhere. If you feel you're not getting anywhere, next her. Do not waste time and effort on women than don't give you any IOIs. Don't focus all your attention on one woman. And no more dates if you don't get laid on the third date latest.
AGameofTrolls 7y ago
Amen!!! You are a wise man, sir. She depended on me a lot and I felt needed for once. I did a lot of stuff for her that I really don't regret doing and I know she'll remember that always. Once I shut the door on a girl I move on and that's what I did. I got into TRP by accident around the end of July and only wish I'd noticed TRP back in April when we started hanging out because I did feel she was more curious and more open to the idea to see what happened with me. This has really been an eye opener for me. I have a lot to learn and a lot more to put in practice, moving forward, but now I'm hopeful for the future.
Hjalmbere 7y ago
We've all been there. I wish TRP had been around when I was young. It would have saved me a lot of emotional distress as society brainwashes men into being the good guy when in reality there's no reward in the sexual marketplace for good guys.
You want to be a good guy? Make the world a better place? Help friends, the homeless, elderly, or orphans. Donate to the poor. Don't ever try to lure a woman into your bed by being nice and understanding. It simply doesn't work. Even if you're in an LTR, don't ever be a push over and stay fit so she knows she's replaceable.
Desadarius 7y ago
My dude. She ain't coming back to yo wack ass
AGameofTrolls 7y ago
True that. She already told her friends about the situation and probably shat on me, I'll get the scoop on that later when I see them. So now that she did that it would be dumb on her part to be seen hanging around with me again. Funny thing though, she is always in some kind of problem that usually requires my help, so I don't know what she's going to do when the shit hits the fan next time around.
Desadarius 7y ago
Good thinking. Fuck that hoe
Psycholephant 7y ago
You messed up. From the beginning you accepted her categorization of you into the friend zone and at the end you made her feel obligated to show you affection. All are recipes for disaster. Give up on this one and move on brother. Abundance mentality.
AGameofTrolls 7y ago
Not happening again brother!!!! I took TRP and I'm going down the rabbit hole from now on....
evergonitenitenigga 7y ago
...why even have some type of discussion about that? she said "she would know in an instant if something was going to happen or not" - this is true. same for men. attraction is non-negotiable.
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AGameofTrolls 7y ago
Thanks for this advice. Will look into the sidebar and go through all the topics, one by one. This thing happened on Monday night and tonight she posted this on FB: Hate to see you go Though in my heart I know You're not the one to save my soul You ain't gunna be there when the kids are grown Grey 'n Old Silver & Gold
TimeToHitTheRoad #LoveMeAndLetMeGo
{Peace✌Out Bro : Lyrical Unload}
I know that she's acting kind of tough now writing this on FB. Does she expect me to put a Like or a Sad face when I see this? We were going to go to a concert in NYC on Tuesday, but I ended up going a another friend. She probably saw the pictures today. I'll just keep radio silence until she decides what the fuck she really wants and decides to contact me.
EPArt 7y ago
I feel I have to interject. Im no expert but you seem to have the case of the oneitis. Stop paying attention to her even if your not reacting publicly pining over what she thinks in your head does you know favours. I could bet money that your not the only guy agonizing over her clickbait post. Stop going on social media(if you have to get facebook purity and filter out nonsense) also ghost the bitch already.
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AGameofTrolls 7y ago
Yup, I already did my part forgetting about this girl. I hope she does the same and never calls me back... Unless she changes her mind about me (NOT!!!). She is kinda special, she has ADHD and doesn't take her meds because she can't afford them.
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DadOnDabs 7y ago
I'll update you at the end of the week when my dick is in her.
[deleted] 7y ago
Oh wow such an accomplishment! Omg so wow!
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