God, where to begin with this one? Here are a few of her mistakes.

Firstly, lots of women talk nonchalantly about "having kids one day". They're usually in their early 20s, when plenty of women say they don't want to be "locked down", or want to "have their fun" before "settling down someday". IOW, men and women both talk this way, it's just that the age ranges are different. Yes, women in her age range can't really say things like that anymore without looking ridiculous ("someday? Honey, you don't have many days left to get pregnant..."), while men in her age range can. But even men hit an age, usually around 50, where saying stuff like that is considered ridiculous. By then, either you have kids, are planning to very, very soon, or have decided you never want them.

Secondly, she bitches about people expecting her as a woman to have kids, while not expecting men to have kids. Newsflash: people have different expectations of the different genders. You think you have it so hard dealing with the expectation to have kids? Try being a man with the expectation of having a high paying job. For every woman who constantly hears "when are you going to settle down and have kids?" There's a man constantly hearing "When are you going to man up, stop playing video games, and get a job?" And a man who says "yeah, I'd like to get a good job some day" is treated with far more ridicule than a woman who says "yeah, I'd like to have kids some day". Women like this think that only women face societal pressure to conform to certain norms and expectations, and that somehow all that pressure goes away if you have a penis. And the truth is, guys have far, far higher norms and expectations and pressures than women do. The only difference is we don't publicly bitch about it as much (because we would be shamed for complaining, but that's another story).

Thirdly, she's very vague about the details of her "abusive" relationship, which is fine. I can respect her not wanting to share every detail. But it's very telling that the couples therapist chose the guy's side. For people who have never been in couples therapy, you have no idea how rare that is. Most therapists are women, and most couples therapists have themselves failed in relationships, and, just like divorce courts, they side with the woman almost all the time. To be a guy in couples therapy and have the therapist agree with you and tell the woman "it's not him, it's you", means the woman is so obviously, egregiously wrong, that even her natural ally has no choice but to call her out. To put it more succinctly, I suspect the couples therapist denied her claims that the relationship was abusive, and rather than accept that, she fired her therapist and found another one (preferably not a couples therapist, just individual, the better so that the new one can never hear the guy's side) that would agree with her.

And finally, after all of this, she's supposedly older and wiser and more thoughtful in how she chooses her relationships, and so now one of her criteria's is that (check's notes) the man must have been in or currently is in therapy. Really? That's the conclusion you draw from all of this? It's like saying you're going to eat healthy by having a diet Coke. "It's still the Coke I crave, but without the calories!" As if your craving for that sugary sweetness isn't the problem in the first place. It's like saying, "I've been in a relationship with an alcoholic, so now, I will only date a man who goes to AA meetings". Maybe it would be better to find someone who was never an alcoholic to begin with and therefore, never had the need to go to an AA meeting? Alcoholics, even ones who go to AA meetings, have a far higher relapse rate than the general population, to say nothing of the (basically zero) risk if you specifically choose someone who doesn't drink alcohol at all. But that's not the type of man Kendrick wants to choose. It's worth digging a little deeper into why that is.

Let's stick with the alcoholics analogy. In what situation might it be good to only choose a man who's in AA? When all of the men you meet are alcoholics. If that's the only men you meet, then yes, choosing one who's at least in AA gives you the best chance of not ending up in a disaster. And why might you only be meeting men who are alcoholics? Usually for one of three reasons: one, your social circle is so limited that that truly is all you meet (e.g. you live in a homeless shelter or some public welfare council house project where all the men are deadbeats); two, there's something about you that makes non-alcoholics recoil (aka red flags that make normal men flee); three, conversely, you like alcoholic men. Non-alcoholic men bore you, and you think it's great fun when an alcoholic goes on a bender with you.

Back to Kendrick. I suspect the reason she now has this rule that any man she dates must be in therapy is because she's similarly surrounded by mentally ill men: narcissists, sociopaths, bipolars, etc. But why? Reason #1 can be ruled out. She's good looking, rich, and famous. She can find men from any social circle in the world. If she wanted a man who didn't have any personality disorders to begin with, she can easily find one. Which leaves #2 and #3. I'm not sure which combination of those might be the answer here, but regardless both of them (red flags, and an attraction to men with mental illness) are within her power to change. Yet rather than change them and thus increase her chances of finding a mentally healthy man, she puts the onus on the man to change by being in therapy.

And finally, a word of advice to men who might be willing to take this deal regardless. Women who are attracted to alcoholics lose interest when you stop being one. Sure, when they're put through the ringer, they temporarily decide they're done with them. But asking for an alcoholic who's in AA is sort of like asking for fried ice: even if you're in AA, you're still an alcoholic. And women who want that might support your sobriety in the beginning, but they'll soon be nostalgic for the fun drunken nights they used to have, and if they can't draw you into it again, they'll find someone else who isn't so strong.

In the same way, Kendrick has been put through the ringer with her last relationship. But if she's asking not for a man with no mental health issues, but rather for a man with mental health issues but who's in treatment, then rest assured, at some point, she'll want that man's mental health issues to come out again, because that's what she's drawn to. Then she'll ride that rollercoaster of drama and whiplash emotions for a year or 7, then come out worse for the wear, blame the guy, then choose another one who can start the rollercoaster again once she's caught her breath. Unless you're in it just for the ride, it's probably best to steer clear.

Ultimately, Dyba feels that women can’t win either way.

You can't win either way because you're too old to have kids, and couldn't be happy in a marriage.

Women only complain about the system when the system rejects them and spits them out. The attention they used to get evaporates, and suddenly everything is so unfair and it's time to play victim.

If we decide not to have kids, then we appear selfish, and not active participants in society

Selfish and useless. Women have literally two jobs in life. The same two jobs they have had for all of recorded history. The same two jobs that women universally rate themselves by, regardless of nation or culture.

You "appear" selfish because you are acting like a Boomer. Everything is all about you, your happiness, your career accomplishments. You're about to find out how little anyone else cares.

In JD Vance’s view, our votes shouldn’t count as much.

He didn't go far enough. Your votes shouldn't count at all.

it’s increasingly impossible for a family to get by without a dual income.

Yeah, if you let your wife buy everything she tells you she "needs".

I have a solution for AK - just shut up and do your job.

I choose to not do lots of things, but I dont harp on about them.

Women like AK are always harping on about how bad they feel because they don't conform to 'social pressures'. This is revealing. It reveals that she (and women like her) are suffering a major case of main character syndrome. She believes that society is disapproving, which would mean that we are paying attention to her and 'her choices'. (btw, when a woman says 'her choices' she means her failures, but thats a topic for another day).

The main character syndrome thing is a mental disorder these days. The truth is that I don't disaprove of AK's 'choices' because I don't know or care who she is. I can't name any of her films, and when I see her picture, I confuse her with that other one that looks like her. I confuse her with other actresses, because they are interchangeable.

Women like her are always griping about how they feel the weight of disapproval from society blah blah blah. the truth is that nobody notices or cares what she does.

Another point - she says 'I won't date men that dont XYZ'

this is a classic defence mechanism - she is telling the world that SHE has chosen some criteria that dramatically reduces her pool. the truth is that very few men want a woman that doesn't want to reproduce.

Issues with archive.ph so giving some other reading options. There's a neat article following this I've marked as part 2 which is fine under archive.ph. I cannot post this to reddit but I welcome someone else doing so if they desire.

Every time I read one of these posts I hear “my body, my choice” blaring in the background. If women want total authority over whether children are born or not, then they need to accept the corresponding responsibility for their reproductive choices.

I know, I know. My soggy knees and tools of the patriarchy…..