SURVEY: in your experience reading user posts, what do you believe are the most misunderstood TRP concepts?

Ok, new response from me after reading other stuff on here.

Newbies don't understand that MEN AND WOMEN ARE DIFFERENT.

Our society has fooled men into believing that men and women are the same. Or, as others have put.... "raising men as if they are faulty girls".

This delusion doesn't do much harm to women because they leverage this belief into opportunity... "All women deserve to be a CEO because a man is a CEO".

But it does massive damage to young men, who compare themselves to young women. It doesn't absolve men from the burden of responsibility, although it purports to. Men hide behind "but but equal", and it does them no good because people don't care about men in the same way people care about women. But this truth is hidden behind equality.

"Why don't I have the same sexual opportunities that she does" and "Girls get laid all the time and I don't, therefore I'm a failure" and "Girls don't approach me therefore I am unattractive" further erode the male psyche while noone explains "the problem is that other men are braver than you and women are too scared to even think of a plan".

This is probably more about game than TRP specifically, but nothing can make a specific woman want you. Women have agency and choose who they're attracted to too, and you'll do a lot better understanding that and moving on from women who aren't interested in you. The goal of TRP -- and even game -- is to improve your chances in general, and make you more successful in general, but it doesn't guarantee success with one specific girl over another.

There are so many guys who come to TRP or game forums and say "I have the hots for this one girl. How can I make her go out with me? I'm not interested in anyone else." And the truth might be: nothing. You'll be more successful, and have better mental health, if you accept different strokes for different folks, and move on to women who are at least open to the possibility of what you represent to her.

Even the biggest Chads don't get all of the women. For example, in physical appearance, some women are attracted to big, muscled, roided out body builders. Others are attracted to stick thin guys with no body fat. Just because the most commonly attractive guys are somewhere in the middle doesn't mean that every girl will go for that specific build.

And similar to that, I feel the most underappreciated part of game is being able to read people. Knowing when someone is truly not interested in you or is just playing coy. Or is just fake smiling because she's too polite to tell you to fuck off, vs being genuinely interested. Deciding whether to neg a girl or compliment her outright is as much about reading the girl's vibe and knowing which one would work best on her, as it is about any specific skill in the actual neg or compliment you give her. Similarly, when game talks about escalating physical contact, 90% of that is being able to sense what the girl is open to, and 10% is knowing the exact physical contact you should employ.

I guess if I were to sum it up, as much as people on these forums might insult women, they are people, and no one can make them like you. Only one part of success is building your assets. The other part is getting skilled at figuring out who's interested in buying what you're selling.

The notion that TRP is somehow aligned with traditional-conservativism. It's not. TRP is about adapting to a new sexual marketplace, not pining for what once was.

SURVEY: in your experience reading user posts, what do you believe are the most misunderstood TRP concepts?

Fucking ALL of it. Seriously though:

AWALT as you say. "I know all women are like that, but this girl really is special".

Alpha/beta: attractive vs useful. Thinking that women will fuck a guy who is useful (eg money) rather than attractive (eg muscles).

Alpha/beta: "In all the 500 hours of free emotional tampon support I gave her I never paid for anything so I doubt she sees me as beta".

Believing TRP isn't about getting laid. "It's all about self betterment". This one pisses me off the most, this is literally a sexual strategy discussion group. It's right there on the sidebar of the main reddit group.

Believing that self betterment will get you laid by magic: "If you better yourself, women will magically appear in front of you, legs spread and ready to go". Been there, tried it, didn't happen. Learning game and female psychology and refusing to be friends with them got me 100x further than improving myself or my life.

Using TRP to try to achieve BP goals. "I am fully RP aware, I am vetting her to be the perfect wife".

And then believing that vetting means she somehow isn't like all the other girls....... "I vetted her thoroughly and she only had 27 red flags so I decided to marry her...."

And of course the classic: "It isn't oneitis, but this one girl......" and its variation: "I don't care about this one girl, but" and then 50 paragraphs detailing exactly how much he cares about her.

We have some more replies on reddit:

https://www.reddit.com/r/TheRedPill/comments/13vr2no/what_are_the_most_commonly_misunderstood_trp/

Its not about women. Its about men taking off the blinders, embracing their masculinity, and trying to build the type of lives they actually want to live.

Women are either a pleasant side effect of that process or a distraction from that process depending on who you ask.

That said, there no doubt that women are a big part of it. They're powerful motivating factors. In many ways they are the blinders men are wearing - whether because men can't see past them, or because men are so laser focused on them that they can't see anything else. Women encourage this state of affairs because it raises their value.

But even with all that, it isn't about women at the end of the day. Its about us.

As far as men who come here asking questions, I see a lot of posts asking for help getting pussy. Tom Torero had an excellent video on London Day Game that got taken down. It basically allows you to go from beta virgin approach anxiety guy to getting laid. He had it very well broken down into baby steps that just about any guy can do anywhere. Maybe add something to the side-bar like "How to get pussy" or whatever and then point to a quality Torero method, maybe even a video if one exists.

We also need to get up to speed with modern times. I know there are great guides out there about instagram, tinder, OLD in general. This is where a lot of guys struggle. I think Mike Sartain has the best instagram game thing going. It's social game. Something not many other people talk about how to apply IRL.

I'm planning to do an article on oxytocin and vasopressin and how that plays a role in pair bonding, oneitis, alpha widows, etc. This is crucial to all the guys who come here struggling to get over an ex, are dealing with jealousy, etc.

A lot of TRP guys think all LTR's is bluepill. Young guys becoming redpill almost always want to get their body count up because when you have no to moderate sexual experience you think its the end game. But after you rack up a high n-count you do realize that a quality LTR is really the end game of spinning plates. Its literally a vetting process but guys get so caught up on the first part which is plating.

They also view things very black and white: You have a LTR = Shes sucking Chad up behind your back. Youre the beta.

Conflating male perception of what "alpha" status is with female perception and getting their ego invested in it. And also thinking it is some permanent trophy label you can achieve and never have to worry about ever again.

Alpha is just a shorthand for the current top pick of traits in men for female mating preferences. Note that male perception of those traits is not relevant, nor is it ever the exact same set for all time, as female desire is both fickle and contextual to her current circumstances.

Which is exactly why women will open their legs for free every night for a jobless criminal but make the dude with a 401K put a ring on it to get starfish sex once a month.

I think one of the big ones is the following.

A girl who's been with some guys ( the number matters with age of course).

Say a 24yo, who's been with 5-8 guys or so.

Some here think she's a slut,etc. She can't be considered for a relationship.

Many girls, are relationship girls. They don't have sex unless they are in a relationship. sure, the relationship may only last a few months, but it's not a ONS or a hookup. So, that girl is actually the type of girl who could be considered for a relationship.

The girls you don't want to consider are the ones who've done ONS/hookups, for many reasons.

AWALT

AWALT, is true, but as many point out (to what degree is she awalt)

it's about control of emotions, rational thought and action.

For example:

Many girls get burned by (the hot guy).

Some, keep going for the hot guy, over and over. They don't get that he's out of your league little avg girl. He's just having fun with you. It's not "my" fault or problem, it's him. They don't get it.

some girls , go the opposite direction and I know some of these girls. Some will "NEVER" go after a guy out of their league again. They don't even date in their league. I know girls who are solid 7's, 7.5, dating guys who are like 5's. They won't get burned again, don't want a guy who has "options", especially options more attractive than her.

Dead bedroom awaits that guy, she wanted the hot guy, she got burned, changed her dating strategy. Her ego can't take another hit like that again.

some girls, figure it out fast and realize. Ok, If I want "fun", I'll go for the hot guys, but they aren't gonna hang around. For a LTR, I'll take a guy, who's a notch or two down. Some , I've actually had them tell me, you'd be too much work/effort to keep.

So, AWALT?

They all want the hot guy.

The rest of it is quite variable and specific to the girl

So here's the big catch 22 for the red pill: The guys who need this advice are generally the ones lacking the social skills necessary for using it. Not all, mind you, but a big enough chunk of guys show up here because they can't even have a conversation with a woman let alone get laid.

So some of the advice is very broad strokes, but some of it is finely detailed on how to communicate with others.

The problem is, for somebody with communication issues (read: spergs), they treat both the general and specific advice as specific advice and follow it like it's a cake recipe.

For instance, somebody reads that girls like assholes, so they start treating their girlfriend like shit and she leaves them.

That type of misapplication of theory I think is one of the biggest hurdles for a lot of guys. And, coincidentally, is the thing detractors latch on to when trying to attack our ideas. Think about how the term "negging" has been used in pop culture to represent a guy who doesn't get it.

I don't live in America. Many things that guys in RP say do not apply outside the U.S. and yet they seem to think that's how things work anywhere in the world. I think this is partially because there are not enough passport bros in TRP. Most advice is directed at people who want to stay in the U.S..

To be more specific, here is a common misconception: racial issues are usually ignored in TRP because they're not as bad in the U.S. as they are in other parts of the world.

Advice such as "just level up", "just work on yourself" doesn't work depending on your particular location. It is actually possible that in some countries, the amount of girls that will accept dating you is basically zero, and it will be 100% because of your ethnicity.

I went into some of that here: Don't be a Red Pill sperg.

Alpha and beta, what shit tests are, AWALT, etc.

Thinking TRP is about getting pussy.

Pussy is a lagging indicator.

Pussy drains your time, energy, money, and attention.

Pussy is a distraction.

Don't make your life about ass.

I am struggling with the idea of what an "alpha" is. I have thought for a long time that it is a guy that tolerates no shit from anybody, however in that mindset I mostly get angry and I am unable to keep it light. I am being convinced more and more that an alpha is someone that both women and men like hanging out with, who is actually a nice guy, but also has boundaries. I guess a better word for alpha would be "competent". The thing is, when I try to be alpha, I take everything as a shit test, when it's not - which makes me seem out of frame. It's really difficult to get a grasp on. When you've been beta for the better part of your life, you're used to not having any boundaries at all, which is also an issue. And when I then do set boundaries, I go completely overboard. I get confused from the hateful posts about women here, like how women only want to fuck drug dealers (a lie), which reinforces this spergy alpha mindset. Im realising now that women that fuck drug dealers are trash, and I don't want them anyway. I want to fuck nice women. But these women are still hypergamous, and you still need to be somewhat alpha.

TLDR; I was hoping you could make a post about how to become alpha without being a sperg.