I was driving home, after seeing my friend. At the end we spoke about my ex. I got slightly high (I quit smoking weed months ago but I lit it for him and the tiniest bit got me high lol). I mentioned how I went through a phase of loving Star Wars (I’m not a nerd it was random), and how she bought me a baby Yoda mug.
I bought some fried chicken and in the shop serving me was a sweet HB4.5 white girl, all smiles etc. I thought about how she ain’t shit compared to my ex, how I’d used to look at my ex and think “wow she’s actually really pretty”, how she used to walk and flick her hair back, her big brown eyes etc.
I know this sounds a bit gay. But for some reason, maybe the weed, I got really upset. When I got taken hostage and wrote to her she called me up in tears asking how I was and saw me.
After dropping him home I can’t lie I shed a tear or two. Stopped quickly. The point is, having love like this and losing it was the most painful thing to ever happen to me.
1) am I just being a little pussy, and men don’t need love… and I’m pedastalising it. I didn’t view it as a big deal at all when we were together. AWALT, and love isn’t worth it for men.
2) it is what it is and I’ve lost something good, but that happens to us all - people lose their mothers etc. It was a beautiful thing, but shit happens, suck it up buttercup.
3) it’s something replaceable that I can get back one day with the right woman, common, plentiful.
4) it was never real, simply chemical neurons and social conditioning and my need for acceptance, and it all never really means fuck all anyways. I shouldn’t want or desire it and I don’t need it.
I’m just pondering whether I’d ever be able to truly love a girl again after all this, swallowing the red pill etc. And whether that’s a good thing or not.
————— ————— ————— ————— ————— ——
I also realised that I’m being an average Joe. I don’t want that. I want to be exceptional. I want to walk past people and for them to look at me. I want to have presence and power. I need to dress the part, look the part, be the part. And finally feel the part.
I’ve gotta work so fucking hard to become the man I want to become. I have to do it and there’s no option. I can’t live the rest of my life being average.
Lionsmane8 11mo ago
I feel you.
But to answer your question. Love differently.
Why?
Because we have been socialized into loving an illusion, in an unhealthy way. Imagine loving pets the same way you are supposed to love children or a woman. Sick right?
The blue pill conditioned us to love the "ideal of a woman" not the deeply flawed real creatures that they are.
That's why swallowing (and digesting) the red pill is so hard. You are to come to terms with the real, and bury a lot of ideals and illusions in the process.
But the good news is . . . you can finally love them for what they truly are.
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Lionsmane8 11mo ago
Hypergamy (imo) is not about trying to produce the best offspring and caring for them. It's rather about women trying to get more than they deserve with what little they have.
Lots of women are trying to optimize their hypergamy and could care less about the children they do have or that they don't have (childless spinsters continuously indulging in their greed is one example).
Unrestrained hypergamy, unrestrained whoredom, and unrestrained female nature is the issue.
We thought they could behave and we took the leash off these bitches. Now the planet has to suffer because the owners can't control their bitches.
financehardo420 11mo ago
idk man. my ex oneitis was the only chick I ever could say I actually genuinely “loved” and lemme tell ya I’m in absolutely no rush to go through the pain of it ending ever again.
I don’t care about love anymore or the idea of it. I’m just focused on achieving my goals and having fun/enjoying life in the free time. Women that contribute to those are welcome to be around me. Women that don’t get dropped quick.
Rn our main purpose is to become wealthy imo. This buys freedom. You don’t wanna be 50+ and still have a dickhead boss and have to go to work. I personally wanna be able to do literally whatever the fuck I want by that age. It’s gonna be a heck of a lot easier to have chicks fall in love w ya when your lifestyle is just like “hey babe let’s go to bora bora for the week and then santorini and then Ibiza” lol. Worry ab love after you’re rich don’t stress so much ab it before then.
Just enjoy women as sex toys in the meantime. Have a good variety and build your understanding of female nature via real world experience. Redpill is the theory… it’s on you to get out of your head and start applying it.
Plus. Don’t fall into the trap of wifing up some hoe before you’re rich… bc she can always just wait till you run up a bag and then dip n take half. On the flip side if you wait till you get rich she can only take half of what you earned since marriage. This is pretty much the only sure fire way to protect the majority of your wealth ya feel
Dxmx99 11mo ago
Men don't need love. We have a desire to love a woman, and we reflect our emotions onto her.
She doesn't love the same way. Therefore, red pill. Lol. We all know what that means.
I, personally, love different compared to when I loved as a teenager. I don't need to prove to my woman how much I love her and give her the fantasy. That was my fantasy, not theirs. They want to be passenger side poon in Chad's ride flying down the highway going 120.
Old me loved unconditionally. He just loved loving!
Me, now, despises old me. There are conditions hard coded into any relationship and I will go the mile to instill it if I'm getting to close to a woman. If she doesn't have what I need, I do not stay.
Edit: This conditional love I speak or is an action, not a feeling. The feeling may last long after I leave or they do.
Vermillion-Rx Admin 11mo ago
Love differently. Well, I've never been "in love" anyway but def after reading RP I don't approach emotional connections in the same way
I know if I lose frame substantially enough even one time they'll stop "loving me"
Women don't love in the same way men do. Once you burst the illusion of the fantasy they have of you in their mind their "love" fades
You have to play the game right if you play the relationship game at all
TRPDuryodhana 11mo ago
What I have understood so far is that "love" is conditional. If you are performing and bring certain things to the table, women will "love" you.
And since this love is conditional, as a man you cannot rely on it as a source of your stability.
Vermillion-Rx Admin 11mo ago
Exactly. It's a bit more nuanced than that but basically
And that's why trp teachings relentlessly advocate having a mission that she joins along for the ride for versus her being that ride and to a lesser extent, the importance of men finding tribes they can belong to
Durek_The_Bald 11mo ago
I still love, but differently, smarter, more conditionally, and more enjoyably. Women naturally love conditionally. Men have to learn it through experience, and having a conscious base understanding of human nature.
If I could choose between a blue pill reality, and a red pill reality, I wouldn't want it any other way than the red pill. I mean, what would a blue pill reality do for you anyways, besides just satisfying some stifling, artificial need for mother's love all throughout your life?
In a blue pill reality, you'd basically be living for someone else, and the rewards would lay in sacrificing for women. But in a red pill reality, you are free to live for yourself, and women will even reward you for it. In a red pill reality, women expect of you all the things that are actually congruent with being a "real man".
I'm pretty sure both men and women are at our happiest, at our most confident, and at our internally most peaceful, when we live, think, and feel in congruence with what we actually are from the point of view of nature. Women have an inner need to perceive themselves as 'feminine', and men have an inner need to perceive ourselves as 'masculine'.
So when men and women get together, and the man isn't too emasculated, and the woman isn't some blue-haired lost cause, what we do is basically to covertly push eachother into those respective roles. And as a result, we're both happier, and better off because of it.
That sort of interplay wouldn't be possible within a blue pill, unconditionally lubby-dubby, always safe and secure reality. We'd have no ambition, no drive, no expectation, and we'd all just be fat slobs playing computer games all day, living off government hand-outs. It wouldn't be sustainable, not for the individual, and not for society either.
And yeah, I know. We tend to say stuff like: "Motivation should come from within", "don't look for external validation", and "don't GAF about what women think of you". And those are fine ideals to have, but they are just that; ideals. Something to reach for that you can never actually reach. The reality is, to a certain extent we do, and we always will.
And I have to admit: I find great motivation in life based on red pill knowledge about what women expect of me. If I want to keep having a good marriage, to keep having my wife desire me, to keep having my wife be in such a way that I desire her, to keep being treated with respect and (conditional) love, and to have other options in case it doesn't work out, then there are certain things I need to do for myself. And they're all good things, things I should want for myself anyways. But to know that women need it and expect it too, sort of reinforces it.
Be social, be headed somewhere, have stuff going on, lift weights, play sports, have projects, be creative, keep growing physically and mentally, say no when you don't wanna do something, say yes when you do, afford yourself some leisure, but don't stagnate, be an autonomously thinking creature, be fun, have fun, fuck well, and fuck often. All good things.
So the red pill, if you really think about it objectively, isn't "bad news" - it's not really something we should have to "come to grips with" (although I get that, and have been there too). The alternative, what we've been indoctrinated with, would've been way worse, because it would essentially make us into simping slaves to women.
Intrepid_Place53900 1 11mo ago
a lot of good comments here from the guys.
I'll add my view.
I'll pick your #3, love is replaceable, there's no (one) , there's many out there. Each will be different from each other, as different as the girl.
love is a feeling, a need, how do you explain it?
It takes 2 , who both want it and are willing to put effort into it. That's why the vast majority don't last. Even in marriages that stay together, I'd argue it's a matter of convenience or laziness, or whatever. How many are still there because of love. Don't get me wrong, I've seen them, but it's few.
it's good to get over the oneitis though, see more girls. Don't know of your situation, how you broke up/why,etc. But it's clear you need more experience and rid yourself of the disney fairy tale.
Love is conditional, don't be afraid to use that, it certainly will be used against you.
Doesn't mean it can't be fun.
Also, your last paragraph, sound like a lot of ego in there. No problem trying to be the best man you can be. You want to look good,etc.
that's fine, as long as you for example, don't live beyond your means.
For me, I live below my means, drive a decent used car as an old guy, while most of the young guys at the gym show up in a new F150 or corvette.
Then they later complain about how much it costs.
Don't be those guys.
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Intrepid_Place53900 1 11mo ago
it's good you are living within or below your means. You need to prove yourself which is fine. Figure out what your goals are and go get them done.
Part of don't show money is, don't show a girl you have money and don't spend money on her. That way you always know why she started with you. Gets rid of the gold diggers immediately.
I'm old, my kids are grown and I divorced years ago. My LTR right now, she knows I have money. She knows she's not getting it also. We split things 50/50, don't "share" purchases,etc. It's either hers or mine.
Easy to split. We are only here because we want to be.
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mattyanon Admin 11mo ago
Love is something men feel. Women do not do altruistic care in the way that they pretend they do.
awesome
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Intrepid_Place53900 1 11mo ago
have you explained the reasons why you and ex are split? Was it you, her and why?
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Intrepid_Place53900 1 11mo ago
didn't sound like a very good relationship, so look at that as a learning experience.
So, why did you get fat and lazy with her? That's the real question here.
As you know by learning TRP now, always stay in shape, always have options. One of the best motivators and attractions a woman can have is concern about her guy getting hit on or moving on to better.
Now, (she is going to regret this).
Dude, I got to say this. you got to drop that shit.
She's gone, take all this as a learning experience, don't fall into the same mistakes, traps,etc.
But, move on, wipe the slate clean. It's not about her , it's all about you.
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