"Pull" as in push/pull.
I'm an asshole (in a bad way), and I push and neg people from a place of insecurity that ends up repulsing them. I've got a lot of internal negativity that makes it hard for me to loosen up with people, men and women alike, and just be cool.
How does one practice being warm and open with others, effectively pulling them in?
Update: Today I practiced my "beta traits", as Gilles put it; allowing myself to be vulnerable, which is usually hard for me because it feels like weakness. I allowed myself to submit to other people, to their desire for me to like them and be amicable, and practiced some of what mattyanon mentioned: smiling, complimenting, and a bit of self-depricating humor. I had success, as my coworkers were more friendly towards me and we were more conversational.
People want to like you, so be likeable.
Thanks for the advice fellas.
EurasianChad 1 1y ago
Lol you gotta fix yourself from within.
Push them from a place of amusement & screening for their own confidence levels.
Vermillion-Rx Admin 1y ago
Follow every other asshole line with a genuine compliment
"You're clumsy as fuck, you would make a gyroscope tilt over. But it's cute I like it"
Deliberately nerdy lame example but I hope you get the point
Gilles 1y ago
Start practicing your beta traits. People need to know that you actually like them. It's ok to push to tease. But to really pull, it has to come from a place that you like yourself and therefore have no problem inviting people in
mattyanon Admin 1y ago
Can relate.
ok, here's a suggestion: concentrate 100% on the pull part.
The most effective seduction technique is push/pull. You've got the push down perfectly I'm sure. Time to concentrate on the pull.
So, you need the pull.
Here's a list:
Literally say "I like you" (if it's a girl) or "That's really cool" or "That was really funny" (if it's a guy)
EurasianChad 1 1y ago
These are completely natural things, essential to be likeable but still respected.
[deleted] 1y ago
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