Hi
This girl I used to fool around with is messaging me even though she has a boyfriend. I thought that a girl loyal to her boyfriend would block or delete old flames not chat / flirt with them.
Do you think she is just enjoying the attention / validation or is she open to meeting me? Here is a copy of our conversation:-
Me: Hi
Long time no speak
Guess who's back in
Her: Hey, oh wow you were still away this whole time? How long where you actually there? What’s brought you back?
Me: Yes it was supposed to be 6 months but I stayed over 2 years.
Let's meet and catch up this Friday.
Her: Wow that’s a along time! Why are you back?
Her: I’m not in the country atm actually and our old catch ups always ended 1 way and l don’t think my boyfriend would be happy about that ?
Me: Oh really which country are you in?
Her: I’m in
ME: Nice your home country. Stealing watermelons I bet like the old days?
How long have you been with your boyfriend?
Our catchups dont have to go that way if you can somehow control yourself young lady.
Her: Yeah it’s nice, I’m on mangoes this time lol
We’ve been together 8 months in a few days
I can control myself l don’t know about you
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I'd be interested in your insights on this as this behaviour is kind of puzzling to me.
Lone_Ranger 2 1y ago
She is looking for drama. Don't confuse that with 'looking for dick'. Don't fall for it.
Vermillion-Rx Admin 1y ago
Unsatisfied with relationship, misses the excitement of old flame, bored, needs validation
Never met a girl like this who was happy with her current boyfriend
Learningandgrinding 1y ago
Thanks for your reply a girl like what?
Vermillion-Rx Admin 1y ago
What do you mean? A girl behaving the way the one in your post is
Learningandgrinding 1y ago
Interesting that you think she isn't happy I suspected the same thing. A happy girl would not reply, block or at worst reply with "sorry I have a boyfriend now or something similar" not talk about old times and ask questions.
The interesting thing about this girl is she is a "virgin" or at least she used to be.
MidgetSpinner 1y ago
She did tell you her boyfriend wouldn't be happy. That was your hint. Besides, even if it does seem like she's leaving the door open for you, she's in another country anyway so move on dude.
Vermillion-Rx Admin 1y ago
Virgin doesn't matter a lot of the time depending on age. A 18 yo virgin could really just be a slut that hasn't starting riding the cc yet
A 25 yo virgin is more impressive and has more meaning
Learningandgrinding 1y ago
She is a virgin in her 30s! However she is a "virgin" in the sense of no penis in vagina / penis in ass sex. She has ridden the oral / fingering carousel I think both giving and receiving. It's a technicality she enjoyed.
MidgetSpinner 1y ago
How tf is she still a virgin? Sounds to me like you wasted a lot of time with her in the past.
Vermillion-Rx Admin 1y ago
I'm not sold that she doesn't think like a hoe
Learningandgrinding 1y ago
Nor am I mate. I met her on tinder so I think she probably rode the virgin technicality very hard.
jaytionaryy 1y ago
This convo reads as though you messaged her
And yea, she shouldnt be messaging you since she has a bf but nothing shes saying outright suggests shed cheat on him with you
Plus why are you worried about a girl in a whole different country, do you not have any options or are you living in vatican city
Learningandgrinding 1y ago
Yes sorry I meant why would she reply if she has a boyfriend and is happy. Surely it would be block or ignore?
I'm not worried was just curious about what you guys think. Although I admit "sex" with her was pretty amazing she would squirt like crazy. Only girl I've ever made squirt like Niagra falls.
MidgetSpinner 1y ago
So she's not a virgin then? Dude, you are confusing. Bottom line is, she's in another country, has told you she has a boyfriend. That's all you need to know. Even if there is still an opportunity, she is literally in another country still. You gonna go around the world just to get a "fuck" ?
jaytionaryy 1y ago
Because it is in her female nature to crave attention from other males despite being in a relationship
Just move on and find a new girl who doesn't have a boyfriend
Learningandgrinding 1y ago
Ok good point well made.
[deleted] 1y ago
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Learningandgrinding 1y ago
I mean I would expect a loyal / disinterested girl to not reply at all let alone refer to sexual things we got up to in the past.
I was interested in the viewpoints of people here.
P.S I didn't reiterate my invitation I only invited her once.
[deleted] 1y ago
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Learningandgrinding 1y ago
"our old catch ups always ended 1 way" - that's the reference to sex.
I don't think she wants to fuck me because she answered I'm saying I'm not sure girl in a happy relationship would chat to an old flame from years ago that's all. No Psychopathy as far as I'm aware but I will get tested just in case.
You're right she isn't an ex. She is a girl I fooled around with a number of times over a number of years. We were never dating or boyfriend / Girlfriend as I never pursued that. Probably could have had it if I had wanted. There was never a break up because we were never a couple.
EurasianChad 1 1y ago
Give her plausible deniability so she doesn't have any anti-slut defense or break any moral "code" she has for herself, which she's breaking anyway let's be real. Set up the meet up & give her the Chad treatment.
Edit: you messaged her first. Bruh...you're the one trying to get with her
Get more options, you're contacting an old fwb out of scarcity.
MidgetSpinner 1y ago
Literally this. Although I'm not gonna cast judgements on another man trying to get some action, because I've the done the dirty with girls who were taken. However, these days I'd rather not get mixed up in that mess, and especially not go out of my way to like OP seems to be gearing for. I turned down a chick only last night because she kept trying to use me for basically a validation bang, while she was trying to figure out if she loves her boyfriend or not. I was considering it, but it was bordering on me becoming her fucking relationship counsellor and I didn't want get mixed up in that shit.
EurasianChad 1 1y ago
Yeah I'd avoid it as well, theres simply too much fish in the sea and too much risk especially if the boyfriend is one of those wanna-be alpha types. The types who get their whole crew to bang you up when they see you out, among other factors.
As for the councellor thing: I tell bitches who try and bring in too much ex-boyfriend or relationship talk "hey look, when you deal with me, its no stress-all fun. You're better off talking to your girlfriends or your simps about that". Very concise and sets a clear precedent that says: I'm not that type of guy.
One taken from conor mcgregor: "This is not a therapy session"
MidgetSpinner 1y ago
That McGregor quote is based. Love McGregor.
Her "boyfriend" is a 6ft 3, Romanian Chad looking dude who's swole as fuck. Yet, she's still fucking around with other dudes, obviously out of insecurity because she doesn't believe she is good enough. That's how I see it. So even the alphas get dogged on, just for different reasons.
She sent me a screenshot of him finding out she was on Tinder last night, and in the convo he basically said "we're done", and she's crying about it to me. I applauded him to her, explained why and then also told her to fuck off.
EurasianChad 1 1y ago
Good read on the situation with that girl