Me: 33M. tall. good job. fit. but average looking. shy for most of life but doing v well w women lately thanks to RP. Her: 29F. smart. good job. attractiveness similar to mine. good fam. wants kids and I thought she could be it.
I met her on Tinder 4 months ago whilst travelling. We hooked up after dinner/drinks. She keeps up the contact by messaging me ever since and seems v keen. Went travelling together 2 months ago for a week. Was okay. Went to her city couple weeks ago. She has many male friends, mostly from college and mostly unattractive. I'm not concerned about those. One of them is a new friend and is tall and attractive, however, and she talks highly of him. He put his arm around her at dinner and squeezed her shoulders. She then saw I was jealous and overcompensated by practically climbing into my lap at dinner. Since then I've spent literal weeks thinking about it. I'm losing my mind. She knows it too. I even saw their texts and they seem platonic. And her circle of guy friends is global and enormous. She's planning to come to my city soon and seems willing to move for me. She's crazy about me and does anything I ask EXCEPT when I ask her to cut off her guy friends she objects. Thank you brothers.
Vermillion-Rx Admin 1y ago Stickied
Is this your girlfriend or what?
seekinghelp4 1y ago Stickied
We were nonexclusive for first few months and I was still fucking a couple of plates. She knows this. Then I got jealous of her hanging out with guys so much and she squeezed me into exclusivity. I got weak. She still has these friends though.
Vermillion-Rx Admin 1y ago
Still, is this a girlfriend or exclusive FWB or what? Labels matter for answering your question, this is a huge detail missing completey from your post
seekinghelp4 1y ago Stickied
The status was never defined between us, but I see her as LTR/GF I suppose.
Seagram7 1y ago
Has mostly “guy friends” is a massive Red Flag. A woman’s comfort around hordes of dudes—and participation in their “guy activities”—likely extends into the bedroom. If for no other reason than simple attrition, sooner or later the conditions (inebriation, horniness, isolation) have been right with several of her so-called guy friends. Plus this is why guys stay in her orbit. They are waiting for that opportunity to finally hit that. She know this, and it has happened.
No-Stress-Cat 1y ago
That's a red flag all by itself. Tinder is nothing but a bag of dicks for women.
Vermillion-Rx Admin 1y ago
Okay, now that you answered the most important details you left out
Some OLD hoe you got attached to in a completely different city had male friends, you gave up your roster out of insecurity when you HAD abundance and power, you travel to HER miles upon miles away, she used her male friends (may have been fucking them may not have been) to commitment trap you, and now won't give them up because her male friends are proven to be useful tools of control on your entire frame
Honestly man, you have not even established with her directly if she is your gf or not, gave yourself a raw deal, and have completely lost the plot with her. She is the captain of this relationship despite your alleged high SMV/RMV.
You haven't even defined the relationship yet with her and she controls it and your losing it over the situation. Your frame is almost non-existent in this situationship. She won't respect your boundaries (which i personally think are too strict but if your intuition is screaming about this guy and her tolerance of his advances perhaps you should listen to it)
Personally, i think a bigger problem is how badly you lost the plot and your frame, that's way more problematic than her guy friends. I would demote her to FWB and resume your roster, this is a doomed to fail relationship long term because you started most of if in her frame.
I don't see this lasting long term, she will always have a surefire trump card against you now and she already leads the relationship in her frame, it's bound to end from the same reasons even if you were to milk the relationship another year or whatever. Just giving it to you straight, learn from it and demote her especially if you haven't officially labeled yourselves bf and gf
seekinghelp4 1y ago
Thanks so much. This was both kind and helpful/frank.
Vermillion-Rx Admin 1y ago
No problem.
I could of course be wrong about the state of your relationship but that's my two cents
EurasianChad 1 1y ago
So male friends fall in one of these categories:
Insecure girls have easy emergency dick she can use for leverage/validation. Some of these guys are so beta she uses them for cash, rides, free dinners. Others, well, orbiters and free validation.
Which one are you?
Take what you can with that info.
ncstaterepted 1y ago
This is spot on if gay means 100% viscerally gay. Then category 1 and 2 includes their bi spectrum friends who may prefer men over women most of the time. So they present gay, lisp, have a boyfriend, but might slip and fall into your girlfriend when she feels neglected one night.
A FWB walked with me past a dude who had an energetic reaction to her. She smiled to him but she muttered "gxy fxggxt" to me after he passed. She started justifying that he was her gay friend, did you see the way he moved his hips? I teased her that he was her type so she pulled out his Instagram. He was openly gay and he was getting pounded by some of the same football players who were also pounding my fwb (later found out).
A few of the team were at my FWBs house and they were doing drugs. The gay guy started pounding on her window from outside in a jealous rage about her being with other men. One of my team mates was at the party and he told me that it was common knowledge that her and the gay guy had banged a lot. She also had a girls night where the gay guy, and some of the football team 'showed up'. I think she was using him for his connection to the football team (surprisingly a lot of gay zoomer unit tier athletes).
dongking 1y ago
Massive red flag. Many male friends = guaranteed hoe.
Also dude she's 29. Why would you even consider her as a mother of your kids? Literally rode the CC for 10-15 years and now approaching/already past the wall and trying to lock down a beta.
I'm your age and only date 18-23 year old women. Once in a while I'll get a 25-26 year old but it's rare.
On Tinder I don't even swipe on 25+ women and/or have removed them as an option.
This girl has shown she's clearly a plate/FWB max. She may never rise.
seekinghelp4 1y ago
Main reason I overlooked her age is she has a top-tier intellect. Like way into top centile, top ivy league shit. Also good family with parents who are smart/functional and are together and happy. I want that for my kids. Sexual abundance is great, but kids are important, that's just genetic reality.
dongking 1y ago
Top tier intellect is a double edged sword in women.
IM has written about it but can't find it right now.
Here is one post that touches on the subject: https://illimitablemen.com/category/women/
Whole post is good, but I quote the specific part about intelligence below;
redhawkes 2 1y ago
Keep it as FWB/plate. I have a hoe like this in my social circle. There's a reason other hoes don't like her (stealing their bf's is one reason).
Passed around like a cheat sheet in hs, now she's looking for something serious and she's 27. Yours is even worse. Don't be that guy, younger bitches are everywhere. She knows you don't have any options and is pulling you by the nose. Always keep two in the kitty.
Imagine the shit that's waiting for you if this is just a beginning.
Start increasing your SMV. Fit = average, become jacked and read the sidebar. Let her be someone else's problem. Failing these female games only points out your lack of reading the material.
If you use RP for your disney goals, you'll end up where you started or even worse.
seekinghelp4 1y ago
Point taken thanks. She has even more female friends than male though. "disney goals" .. IDK man. kids are important.
redhawkes 2 1y ago
Yea, but don't rush just to get some hoe pregnant. Too many of them out there.