Im very confused on cold approach. Does it actually take 100s of approaches to get lays, because to be honest I approach but only when I see girls im very attracted to. Im naturally social but as it is I dont live in an environment where I can approach hundreds of women nor do I really want to, is it not diminishing returns at that point. I see guys saying that they averaging 1% some guys I see aren’t getting laid in over 500+ is that normal?
I mean my game is pretty weak but socially I would say Im well above average. Been lifting for 9 yrs too.
If you’re just trying to get laid optimizing night game or old would be better no?
I have short average looking friends who slay at night game and a very short asian friend who slays on old. (Photographer/ travels).
I’m not trying to shit on it Im just having a hard time understanding why its so lauded in the redpill community.
For improving game I get it 100p but as the number 1 way to get laid idk.
Even then how much improvement is justifiable if you’re getting 499 rejections.
I naturally talk to strangers when im out and I understand that you can’t really compare you should only compare yourself to your past self
But How many approaches are you guys doing before getting laid? Everyone makes it seem like theyre picking up a plate left and right?
Hugo_The_Great 6mo ago
Cold approach is pretty dogshit, to get a 'high' conversion rate requires goods looks & tight game.
By far the best way to get women is through social circles. Women will rate guys they (kind of) know 1-2 points higher in SMV than a similar stranger, just because they know a bit about their personality & background. Also, because you have mutual friends, they feel more at ease as the chance of you harming them significantly decreases in their minds.
Social circle game is how you get casual sex if you are an average/slightly above average male.
Dating apps are for the top 10% guys (based on looks).
As for improving game, I don't think cold approach is great either. It's just good to get out of your comfort zone initially, but you're not going to dive deep into the intricacies of good game. By far, the best method to improve is to hang with guys who already have good game. But chances are you don't know people like that (they are rare) and if you do, they are unwilling to hang out with you because they see you as low value.
I don't have time to explain how to improve game A to Z, someone should do it at some point, but it's enough to fill a book with. Understand that pretty much everything in the way society is structured is geared towards holding you back, from women to money. To escape the momentum of that drag will require significant strategic effort.
Lastly, the amount of guys picking up plates left and right is literally 1-2% of all men. If you think getting a large quantity of high quality women is easy, you are a moron, it's competitive as fuck. And chances are you did not win the genetic lottery in terms of intelligence/looks and will not be able to compete no matter how hard you work, similar to how most men will never make 250k+ a year.
coolsocks00 1 6mo ago
Those are very low numbers. I think i saw some «beginner» say he had 1k approaches and no (or very few) lays yet, and that sounds crazy to me. There’s a lot of social ineptitude involved in such cases which probably can be developed in better ways than through CA..
Last summer i had several lays from cold approach and didnt approach that much. While it was likely a bit of a lucky streak in a smallish sample size, it was easily 10%.
Outside of the obvious benefits of CA like developing huge balls of steel, helping you calibrate, working on your game; the greatest benefit of having developed this absolute killer skill, is that you can go anywhere in the world, befriend people, seduce women, and build a social life. Whether it’s for a week, month or a lifetime.
Total gamechanger.
mattyanon Admin 6mo ago
varies a LOT
so you haven't tried?
Do what works for you
Cold approach used to be THE way to meet girls.
But do what works for you.
Ok,, from a lot of research, I can tell you some very very rough numbers.
If you're reasonably good looking or you are good at game, you're looking at very very roughly 3% meet-to-lay returns.
Very very roughly: half will be dead in the water before you start and won't speak to you........ half the rest will go nowhere fast (sorry, gotta run, have boyfriend, etc). Half the rest will agree to a date..... that's now down to 12%. Half of those will flake....... 6% are turning up on a date..... and you'll fuck about half of those.
That's how a sales funnel works..... you're losing a chunk at each step, and you can't just skip a load of steps and say "wanna fuck". Well you could, but I don't recommend it.
3% sounds terrible, but it's actually pretty good because most of the "didn't pan out" girls actually take up very little time. By far the biggest time sink is the dates that don't pan out... but if you're fucking half the girls who turn up on a date, the time investment isn't onerous.
The other reason it's good is that you will get girls that are not on OLD and for whatever reason don't have a tonne of other options right this second. That means a good chance of fucking the same girl lots of time...... suddenly 3% but with 10 lays each equates to 30 fucks out of 100 approaches, most of which take negligible time.
Another factor in your favour.... most of the girls going nowhere aren't rejections. It's not like you are saying "hi, wanna fuck me"..... you're saying "hey, let's talk for a minute" and it doesn't work out, but "no, you're not my type" is gonna be rare.
There are three things you can do to adjust these numbers:
Be more attractive. This increases the numbers at each stage..... more will talk to you, more will date you, more will fuck you.
Talk to more women. This increases the numbers but not the percentages. More fucks and more rejections.
But fundamentally, OP.... you need a mentality shift. You're comparing against others (who are not being completely honest with you), and you are not trying to do what works for you yet.
Vermillion-Rx Admin 6mo ago
No one said it was the #1 way to get laid... Where tf are you getting that info? It's the Lowest success rate way to get laid but guess what, women are EVERYWHERE, which is why it is lauded
Cold approach gives you chances to meet women you otherwise wouldn't run into a more traditional places to get women. You're probably not going to see that same, random, cute blonde at the park at the club later, so cold approach lets you approach her at the park or never again at all. No one said it was the best, it is the hardest but most abundant way to meet women. Improves your confidence and social skills even if you never get laid doing it.
There you go. There is the answer to your entire post
HIGHLY doubt it based on your posting history. You should give yourself an honest assessment in the mirror. Social skills precede game in every way shape and form and cold approach is 90% social skills and minimal actual game.
The goal of cold approach is to get a number and a date (preferably an insta date if possible) so that you can later apply better, actual sustained game on an actual date instead of a 5 minute or less interaction (which is limited)
If you are having blowouts and not getting a date at all (your fixation on the getting laid part suggests you don't have any realistic progression steps in mind, you didn't mention the word date one time in your entire post) then you need to get success on the requisite steps. Sounds like you don't understand more than just game
Fix your mistakes then so that you don't get 499 rejections??
Just being blunt, based on your posting history you are jumping the shark and trying to bang from cold approach instead of fixing any of the actual requisite steps to progress from your approaches and you not having an honest reflection about your actual problems is leading to blowouts and disappointments