I was in a cafe with this girl and when we were going out we were leaving she told the one guy who was there was smiling at her and took a picture of her. I didn't see any of that, but after she said, the scene clicked slowly but accurately. I did the "Timon and Pumbaa" move like saying "i'll go back there" and she esaying "no leave it". So i did because i thought it was better to avoid bs.
In my heart, tho, i wanted to punch him. In my mind i thought she was right. But i'm pretty sure now i was a coward cause this is how i feel. . So i took her back to her work and went back to the cafe, guy wasn't there. I asked the cashier for the guy "invoice" - i don't know if you have this in your country but here we have this "tax receipt" when you buy stuff, and you can add your ID Number for discounts. Unfortunatly his wasn't there, because i would had my way to track him down. . Anyway. I feel bad. I lift. I'm tall. Cleary not enough. Getting into Boxing ASAP. But i feel the pain in my chest screaming "Fucking coward". I told her i went back there. She said "noo don't tell me he was there please forget about it" but my guts says she lost a bit of respect. . I don't know man. I was raised by woman. I apologise if this text is confusing, i'm writing right after it happened, this is the first place i thought about venting. I need some guidance. I'm going to the gym right now, after more than 28h awake and 14 working. Please don't say "read the sidebar".
Intrepid_Place53900 1 6mo ago
Ok, old guy view here.
Not a lot of detail about the situation, but here's what is important to reflect on here.
If a girl you are with is allowing guys to hit on her, pay attention to her in a setting, she's not LTR material.
If a guy is talking to a girl you are with, buying her drinks, etc. It's (HER) job to remove that unwanted attention.
If the guy gets physical with her and/or she's telling him to buzz off, and he's not listening, then you get her and remove yourselves from that situation.
Fighting for a girl, especially in public, is dumb. You just get her and leave. Make a joke about it with her, don't be pissed. Don't seem annoyed or worried about the event.
I've been in situations like that, the girls I'm with, guys will try to hit up, or buy drinks and they immediately say, no thank you, I'm with someone, and ignore them and/or they come over to where I'm at. If the girl enjoys the attention, when with you, she's for the streets.
First-light 6mo ago
White knighting is almost never worth it.
In this case for one thing, it would show you were insecure. It would also give her power over you to mess with your head in future. It would give her toxic male behaviour to complain over if she ever decided she was fed up (and lets face it, most girls get fed up sometime whether they stay with a man or not)). It could also get you into trouble with the law or guys who can fight better than you.
"You can look but don't touch" is a good starting point. Guys liking your girl is OK, so long as they keep their distance. You are a high status male, she is a high value female (at least that is the show you enact) so its logical people will like her and envy you. If they guy is upsetting her then talking to him assertively is a great idea but starting white knight mate guarding fights is best avoided. If it happens again, you could get up, photograph him and go over to him and talk to him in a low voice which she can't hear but letting her see assertive body language. Don't get aggressive, just tell him she does not like it, you do not like it and the law will not like it. He needs to stop or you will escalate for him being a pervert stalking her. Then you can return saying "Its sorted" and if it not, you have his photo to show the police.
Its perfectly true that many girls love being fought over but at that point you have become her powerful toy, something that her feminine power controls and which she can deploy. No one can win every fight. Undisputed high status males almost never need to fight, so if you are acting that part it is worth remembering.
Training when tired is sometimes unavoidable if you have to make time to train or miss the chance to do so but the returns are less and the injury risk is heightened. Training when angry usually leads to bad technique, which again leads to less gains and more injury risk. I would avoid that sort of thing when possible.
Kreaton01 6mo ago
No use worrying about it now. You should probably sleep though. Also, stick by your decision don't go back after you already decided to let it go. And what do you plan to do if you tracked him down? Don't get arrested over a creep.
mattyanon Admin 6mo ago
What the fuck? Why do you want to find / attack this guy? That's fucked up.
I think this happened:
Guy hit on girl you were with.
Here is what went wrong:
You felt that HE disrespected you, and that SHE won't respect you unless you go and "sort him out".
If so, that's all kinds of fucked up.
Ditch the girl or laugh it off. That's all.
Electrical_Tackle 6mo ago
He did not hit on her, he took a"covert" picture of her without asking, after sending "smiles" behing my back. He tried to hide it but she saw and told me after. Yes i felt disrespected, shouldn't I? He disrespected her. Bear in mind she is a highly attractive girl. She is skinny and small, so it's easy for fat playboys like these to act this way to her. I thought about scaring him. She didn't let me.
I read your advice but i also have to say: I come from an "avoid conflit at all cost" education and reading this in RP forum goes against my gut so idk. Didn't expect those answers here.
mattyanon Admin 6mo ago
What's the point in confronting him? I don't get it.
No-Stress-Cat 6mo ago
Why are you blaming the guy? She was the one who posed for a picture for him. The reason she didn't want you to go back was because she didn't want the guilt of you beating the shit out of some guy for something she did. Then she told you about it. She might have even made the whole thing up to get your reaction.
This was a shit test and you failed.
The correct response should have been, "The next time you go posing for pictures for another guy, you might as well be his permanent model, because I don't date whores."
Redpillpusher 6mo ago
You are just jumping to conclusions. Nowhere in his post did OP even hint that she was posing for pictures so I want to know what fairyland you went to get that conclusion from. OP, don't worry about this event, it did not prove you were a coward but ignore bozos like this guy here who blame females for all the sht that happens, whether it is their fault or not. These type of guys do that to minimize the chances that, God forbid, they might actually have to fight another man. Type of guy to scream at his girl "why weren't you wearing jeans??" if a guy smacks her butt at a beach, pathetic
No-Stress-Cat 6mo ago
I'm going by the information in the post. If OP leaves out important details (which I'm finding in subsequent posts), then that's a different ballgame. I'm not a mind reader, I'm only going by what I see. I'm surprised you didn't come to the same conclusion.
Was still a shit-test and he failed, which was, "This guy made me uncomfortable, so what are you going to do about it?"
The reason she asked him to not go back, was because she had already come to the conclusion (this is her perspective):
He didn't even have to be a raging asshole about it. "Dude, please stop staring at and taking pictures of my girlfriend." I would have then switched places with her, to where the only one he gets to stare at is me.
Finally, I'm not afraid of fighting or getting hurt. I grew up learning how to fight. I had one of those fathers that always told me, "If you get into a fight, you better win, because if you don't, I'm going to beat your ass even more when you get home." So yeah, I'm willing to throw down if it comes to it, even if it's someone bigger than me.
Electrical_Tackle 6mo ago
She didn't pose, this guy doesn't know what it is to walk with a cute girl. You hear and see what a "boy" that feminists bash about is at his core. But this one stinked, because i was raised to avoid conflit but this time was against my guts.
Redpillpusher 6mo ago
You went back, didn't you? You didn't not return because you were fearful of him beating your ass, correct? Then you weren't a coward. You were willing to confront him, that's all that matters. It doesn't matter if it wasn't at that moment. Furthermore, fear of that man or harm wasn't what prevented you from returning, so that also points to you not being a coward, that's all there is to it
No-Stress-Cat 6mo ago
Jesus Christ, bro, stop coddling this guy. Try giving some helpful advice instead of making excuses for him. Yeah, he fucked up. Is it the end of the world? No. Did he totally ruin it with his girlfriend? No. We've all fucked up, we all fuck up, and will eventually fuck up in the future.
This is not about being a coward. It's not about him as a person. It's not about him as a man. It's about his actions. It's about what happened, where he went wrong, what he can learn from this experience, and how to handle such situations in the future.
Redpillpusher 6mo ago
You're right, my apologies for calling you a bozo
No-Stress-Cat 6mo ago
Knucklehead. *Fist Bump*
coolsocks00 1 6mo ago
Too bad. Specifically, articles on white knights and mate guarding. Hint: just dont do it
And your frustration over this issue stems from your blue pilled upbringing (along with innate male protective instincts).
The red pill is here exactly for you to overcome these blue pilled narratives.
[deleted] 6mo ago
[--removed--]
ObliviousDuck 6mo ago
I know of a very good trick for people to not hit on your girl: get an ugly one. Make sure you get yourself a 3 or lower because even 4s get approached more often in a year than you'll ever be in your whole life.
The good news is, if instead of stalking and beating up guys flirting with your girl, you put all that energy and anger into your gym sessions, you'll get fucking swole bro!
No-Stress-Cat 6mo ago
LOL bad advice, bro. It's the ugly ones who get the most action, because nobody thinks that anyone would hit on them, and nobody thinks that having an ugly girlfriend won't keep her from cheating. There are a lot of desperate guys out there who think a wet hole is a wet hole, whether it's a 3, a 4, or a 304.
Here's one of the chicks from 90-Day Fiance who cheated on her fiance: https://static1.srcdn.com/wordpress/wp-content/uploads/2021/12/Ella-Johnny-In-Before-The-90-Days-90-Day-Fiance-3.jpg?q=50&fit=contain&w=1140&h=&dpr=1.5
Vermillion-Rx Admin 6mo ago
Genius
@redpillschool why isn't this in the sidebar yet?
lurkerhasarisen 1 6mo ago
When two guys fight over a girl they both lose.
Is she’s encouraging that sort of thing by being flirtatious, that’s an entirely different problem… with her. A guy taking a picture of a pretty girl may be weird, but it’s 1) not an issue unless she shares some culpability, and 2) isn’t worth going to prison over.
Vermillion-Rx Admin 6mo ago
You clearly didn't understand it or accept it for what it was worth the first time around so:
READ THE SIDEBAR
Seriously what the fuck dude get your head on straight this was beta as fuck all
MrSupreme 6mo ago
It seems you're not fully aware of the risks/perks/facts about dating good looking women. There will be orbiters,there will be a lot of looking at her butt,some will hit on her, and you have to be the toughest of oaks. Real competition usually happens when you're not with her. She must be smelling your insecurities and is ready to make you jump around and throw shit tests at you,she knows she can get you all fired up with just a comment.
Read some stuff about hypergamy,realize she's just being a girl and make peace with it.