Thank you everyone for your replies, time to work on what you've said

Choose your friends wisely.

I grew up as the middle child of a single mom. We had one stepfather for like 3-4 years when I was 10. Didn't work out and we didn't make it any easier for the guy, but we were just kids so I forgave myself for that long ago.

One of the few things I learned growing up fatherless and without any positive male role model is that trying to find a guy that will parent you is the easiest way to get fucked over by other men. Women have each other, we men have ourselves. Try to fill in the void by having a bunch of close friends,get closer to an uncle, read about some positive male role model celebrity status kind of guy like Jordan Peterson or David Goggins, admiring a guy that works hard and teaches stuff makes you a better man. Work a lot on self love, detachment and learning about admiring and looking up to your own ass.

It's gonna suck to hear, but you're not going to materialize a mentor or role model from dreams and unicorn farts.

You gotta get out into the world and prove to someone that you're worth their time and energy.

When I provide mentorship to young men, it's to men who are doing something that stands out. I don't see the guys who are content playing 7 hours of games a day eating fat cakes and working at GameStop. While that might be fine for them, it's a waste of my time because they haven't demonstrated the drive to even achieve better-than-average outcomes.

Pick a path and bust your ass. Find people who are further along than you and prove to them that you're worth a shit.

Thoughout all my life, I was subconsciously sorta wishin for some dude to show up (no homo) and help me get my shit together but it ain't gonna happen.

Actually it might.

Should I get some kind of mentor

Absolutely yes if you can find one.

or is this something everyone kind of goes through and it's just a phase?

yes and no. It's different for everyone.

What are some things that I should also work on having as a dude with an absentee father?

Well, quit making excuses for one thing.

But yes, good role models help. You might find them in your friend group, but if you want a mentor you're probably looking at someone older.

N.B: I'm already working on my Nutrition & Gym

Good!

This is such a good question and such a hard one to answer.

I would look for a man you admire for his character and success in a field you wish to succeed in -so work, hobby or gym maybe? Then hang around him, al lots, help him out lots. Most men are very willing to help you improve if you are humble enough to listen to them. (You don't have to follow all the advice, just listen.)

Its also worth finding among people who have your hobbies older men who are successful at life -have nice houses, are well thought of and have beautiful wives that they get on with. Cultivate these guys as friends if you can. They have a very positive can do attitude to life and they may well just be able to put you in contact with the right person to help you at certain points in life.

You may well need to cultivate several men. Everyone brings something different and its not like you need a special sensei to train you on the path to a certain martial art, you need men you want to emulate in many different aspects of life.

If you like the outdoors, its a great place to learn from men. Hunting/camping/climbing trips always have their challenges that form character and also have those campfire moments when the barriers come down and people talk about things that matter in life.

What do you need to be careful about having an absentee father -commitment. You may not have been shown how to do this. You may be at risk of not going the distance with people for better or worse.

Its not a good time in history to have men you look up. People are so intolerant that they discard heroes for the smallest mistakes in life. In the media, successful men have images that do not match the reality of their lives. It can be hard for quite a few young men to find a man they are willing to look up to, particularly when say at school, they have only encountered weaker men.

Male virtues are also seriously out of fashion and are often sported only by guys who are a bit "anti" You don't really want a father figure who is too anti the world. You need someone who can stand up to the world but also get along with it enough to get what he wants from it. A man can't be "alpha" all the time. Life needs compromise. You need to find men who have that art -they cut a compromise in the fair place and propose it well- or all you are really learning is how to be difficult and selfish.

You have to do your bit with a role model and take him for better or worse. You can't choose your father's faults. You can choose what you take from his teachings and bring into your life but you have to more or less accept and love him as he is if he is to benefit you. You have to experience that male affection for one another that says "you are one of my group of male friends/ family and you guys come first whatever you do or don't do." This to my mind is the magic of being a man. There is not the bitchiness and backbiting of women's lives. Men know that they win when their close group wins.

It sucks that your dad wasn't there for you - I have two sons and I am having the time of my life being a dad. It's the direct result of my father being there when he could (he worked a lot) - and I'm still discovering things that he "taught" me without actually making them lessons. While I can't sympathize, I do understand that you feel that you're missing something.

What is it that you're looking to gain by having a mentor? What "shit" are you looking to get together? Are you looking for accountability for your life choices? Are you looking for someone to ride you (no homo - lol) about going to the gym and not eating a bag of cheese doodles? Are you looking for someone to counsel you on career choices and education options? A mentor is generally good for one of those things but not necessarily all of those things.

To start, as a dude with an absentee father, I would strongly recommend developing your self-discipline - you've mentioned nutrition and working out, so you can start there. Whether it's intermittent fasting or lifting weights three times a week, stick to it. Put it on your schedule - make post it notes and attach them to your monitor - make it a priority (sorry guys, I can't hang until time X - I have to work out first). While there is an emphasis on being healthy, the real goal is to dedicate yourself to your mission - whatever that may be. You're never going to get there without being (fully) in control of what you're doing.

No one is coming to save you - live your life as though you're saving yourself and you won't be disappointed. There are some great resources on this site for lessons your father may not have known to teach you. Use them.

Seeking a mentor is absolutely a good idea. Be prepared to put effort in. Make sure that it is mutually beneficial. Most men will benefit from having an array of mentors in their lives, at different times.

In olden days, the apprentice / master relationship was a very formative and important relationship. Seek out older guys that can give advice, on an array of things.