I have a general dissatisfaction with life. It's not just about women. I feel lethargic and pointless. Don't do things I could to improve my life, sometimes don't see a point. I just circle around meaningless tasks and let the time pass.
I don't want to get all existential, but what drives you to have a life? I just always feel like sitting home and doing nothing, then I feel bad about it.
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First-light 6mo ago
You have to get outside the front door and then stuff can start to happen. Some days if you are say ill, its best not to push yourself but otherwise find something to do that gets your brain working and then things start happening.
Me, its probably still hunting that helps me to get re-invigorated. Its actually surprisingly tiring but if you get yourself out of bed well before dawn and get into the woods and watch the light coming back to the woods and all the creatures getting up to start competing for natural selection, you feel part of things. You are just another animal out looking for its food. You also get plenty of time to think about life and decide what to do after you get back home and process that deer. You can get some really good epiphanies sometimes. You never know you might be "lucky" and no deer might turn up and you get to go home and have plenty of time to do all that stuff.
Tlalox 6mo ago
At first it was proving the doubters wrong out of sheer bitterness, then I started to appreciate the hobbies and interests I had learned for their own sake vs ulterior motive (impressing others or proving doubters wrong).
Learning to go from external motivation to internal motivation basically which is surprisingly difficult for those still in that process.
Vermillion-Rx Admin 6mo ago
Suicide wasn't an option for me. That was literally it, despite preferring that choice. Last thing I wanted was for it to go wrong and be in a worse place than I was pre-attempt so i couldn't do it. How my family would have felt about it was a lesser concern of mine but sort of a factor.
Seeing as I had nowhere else to go but up, I did and having multiple avenues for upwards trajectory makes you want to keep leveling up. Not suicidal any more but I can't help but get depressed on occasion still. It can be hard to fully escape a cycle of lethargy and meaninglessness in your life but once you can it's easier
Kreaton01 6mo ago
I sure hope so. I keep finding myself in a psychological mess of my own making. Only people who go through it understand how bad it can get. Thinking about mortality, about some meaning.
It's a vicious cycle, every time get myself going I end up right where I started. I've noticed a lot of change in myself, how I look at life and other people. Things definitely get better overall, but ever so slightly each time.
I've been suicidal before, I don't like the idea. It freaks me out that I could fathom doing it. I would much prefer living better to ending it all.
That's it, I will probably try again. It will probably fail. I hope I will reach a breaking point where it spirals upwards at some point, like your life did.
Permacultist 6mo ago
Reading the Bible and volunteering with Kid's Ministry at Church helps me.
MrSupreme 6mo ago
It is not easy feeling like that every once in a while. What I've managed to do after a humongous failure in my recent history is to read some inspirational books (I'm reading "Can't hurt me", by Goggins), and keep up doing stuff I know is good for me in the long run like a reading habit,exercise,eating well.
I also have a few long term goals that I never forget, the road takes many turns and sometimes it feels like one is going backwards,but it is all leading towards those goals. I keep repeating these words "all is well that ends well". So what I'm trying to say is,you have a bunch of testimonials and books written by people who made it far enough to teach and inspire others. LEARN from them, find those tools you don't have and use em to build your inner FRAME.
Kreaton01 6mo ago
I've always had a TRP-like mindset, so when I first discovered it it really clicked with me. But I had absolutely no idea what frame meant, back then there were even less explanations of it.
I think about half a year ago it clicked when I got sick and my frame dropped. I noticed how people around me treated me with less respect. I quickly recovered and now I keep my frame even when sick.
That's all I know how to do though. People respect me, even people who don't respect anyone else. But I still end up alone. I don't know how to, let people in. Be vulnerable, and all that.
I read all the time, right now I'm reading "The Now Habit". It's about getting things done.
MrSupreme 6mo ago
I know that loneliness, started feeling it about a year before my divorce and it has gotten stronger. I live with my family, it has been a lot of support to have them as company,otherwise I don't have anyone close by. Helping a fella out in the internet and sharing my views helps a bit, I know it has made a difference when someone helps me out.
No-Stress-Cat 6mo ago
You're not wrong, life is pointless. We're born, we grow up, we work, we play, we retire, we die. The circle of life blah blah blah. The question is, what do you want to do in the meantime? You're here. You might as well do something. It's even more pointless to sit around like a bump on a log.
Do you want to live a fabulous life, and be rich, and have all the hot women? Do that. Do you want to live a comfortable life, and have a Plain Jane wife, and just get by on only what you need? Do that. Do you want to be a bum and walk the earth, living day to day, moving from place to place, and try to become one with the universe? Do that.
Whatever you want to do, brother, go do it. Find a purpose. Don't say you can't, because others have done it, so you can too. There's always a way to reach the goal you're seeking. The only thing stopping you from doing anything is you.
Lone_Ranger 2 6mo ago
Best comment of the week.
ogrilla99 6mo ago
so a couple of things. If you're truly depressed and/or suicidal, then get help. even going on medications even for a brief time, can help. One of the bad side effects of the stoic mentality that red pill teaches you is the inability to seek help when you truly need it. There's no shame or "weakness" in seeking mental healthcare when you need it.
Beyond that, if it's just a general listlessness, then the answer is to find a purpose in life. Some people come to red pill assuming that scoring with hot women is the be all and end all in life. And the truth is, it's usually more a side effect of doing the difficult work of deciding what's important to you, working on that, and learning to let the rest of life not bother you. And the truth is banging random women gets old after awhile. You have to have something more to live for.
The second thing is to set goals you can accomplish. The biggest motivator to get up and do something is when you've succeeded in doing something already. And conversely, if you set goals and fail at them, you lose motivation to try again. It's like going to the gym: those who start lifting with the goal of getting six pack abs usually burn out in a few weeks because no one gets abs in that short a period of time. But those who start by saying "my goal is to go to the gym today", then "my goal is to go 3 times this week", and each week say "my goal is to add 5 pounds to my weights" feel motivated by succeeding at their goals and carry on. Eventually the six pack comes but it's a side effect and quite frankly even if it doesn't come, you've usually enjoyed the journey to whatever better place you've come to.
Next time you want to sit at home and do nothing, give yourself a task you can accomplish that day. And not something setting yourself up for failure like "I'm going to find a hot Playboy model and fuck her." Something you can actually do that day. Like reading a book that's been on your list. Or calling a friend that you haven't talked to in a while. Just something that breaks this rut you're in. Once you do that your successes will start to reinforce themselves.
Lone_Ranger 2 6mo ago
Great input. Thanks for your service.
I esp like your point about those that have a gym goal of getting a six pack vs. those that have a goal of going to they gym. That is a metaphor for the secret of life: that the best things in life are usually a 'side effect' of living well. If you make the best things a goal, you usually will not get them. For example, its well known that the pursuit of happiness leads to misery.
Happiness is a consequence of a life well lived. It is a side effect. You cannot look directly at the sun, and you cannot make happiness your goal (without ending up miserable).
Lone_Ranger 2 6mo ago
IMHO, if you don't get depressed now and then, you either don't know whats going on in the world or you are a bit simple or both.
Depression is a side effect of an active mind. It's well known that depression is linked to intelligence. Remember that anytime you feel down - the silver lining is that you must be quite smart! Its true - think of the village idiot - he's always happy and smiling.
The trick is to find ways to deal with depression. But nobody can give you the magic formular, you have to work out your own cure from scratch.
Just to be brotherly, I'm going to give you my 'recipe'.
Lone_Ranger 2 6mo ago
Did you notice something missing from my list?
please tell me what I missed. (anyone else? @Vermillion-Rx @No-Stress-Cat ?)
Vermillion-Rx Admin 6mo ago
I see it
Lone_Ranger 2 6mo ago
what is it? What have I deliberately left off that list?
Vermillion-Rx Admin 6mo ago
;)
I'll let the spergs figure it out
Lone_Ranger 2 6mo ago
Not sure why you are getting downvoted, must be the Sperg Alliance.
The thing that I left off my list (the pathway to happiness) was devoting your life energy, effort and time to chasing tail. If I could change one thing about my past, I would change that. I spent too much time and effort getting laid.
redpillretard 6mo ago
I find 18-23 yo pussy very motivating
EurasianChad 1 6mo ago
Hey man. Been there before.
You need to take it 1 step at a time, and forgive yourself for when you fail. Build willpower and discipline slowly, so you can crawl your way out of the dark. It is VERY possible.
I suggest going gym first. Slow progress get stronger over time.
At home, do 10 minutes daily meditation. This will clear your mind and shoot you to a present state, where all past failures are irrelevant. You recognize them for what they are and accept it, and move on. Seriously, try it. You'll have a calm presence about you after only a few weeks.
Problematic_Browser 1 6mo ago
I don't want to look in the mirror and feel like a loser.
Intrepid_Place53900 1 6mo ago
you only get one life, and the best of that time is wasted on the young/youth
find out what you like to do, what you enjoy.
challenge yourself, whatever interests you, etc.
Make money, but enough to be able to enjoy the things you like/want to do. Don't make it your life purpose, you can certainly enjoy it but it's not your life