hey dudes - for some background info this 19YO blonde 7/10 - we spoke on a dating app - I gamed her one a phonecall with limited texts. Went to her place and fucked almost immediately. solid session high freak level. got myself a perfect regular plate right?
NO. She goes on holiday for 5 days for a typical clubbing holiday destination - and essentially got banged by this dude every other day - she finds out when its time to depart the dudes married. she returns from her holiday and tells me this shit.. and I flat out say I don't really care im not your boyfriend lets continue as we are aslong as your clean and tested im not bothered. She then says she's making changes following what happened because it freaked her out (fucking a married man who lied) and will only have sex with guys who are her boyfriend hahaha.
Is this a shit test? we met yesterday went for drinks kissed and I didn't wanna seem desperate so dropped her off and left. Is this plate broken and not worth the effort? she text me saying she had a great time and wants to go to a sauna next week (does she want to turn me into a beta provider? without giving up the pussy).
UPDATE: thanks to you guys this was clearly due to my lack of options. I reached out to 2/3 old plates and a few new ones on dating apps set up multiple dates for this week and next with high potential. As for this blond in question she can crush a beta boys frame because she will be ignored for days on end
Lone_Ranger 2 4mo ago
This is a classic "mid contract price change" You might even consider it a bit of Anti Slut Defence (ASD)
She fucked on first date, so you know she's a slut. And she knows that you know. So all of her mouth noises are an attempt to change the deal after the event.
The golden rule is that you can never go backwards - she started as an easy lay, she now wants to become a difficult lay. If you let her, she'll pivot your into a FWNB.
Lionsmane8 4mo ago
What's FWNB?
Lone_Ranger 2 4mo ago
Friends With No Benefits
Which is what women want most of all - a dutiful husband that can provide, be a good listener, a great friend, but whom she doesnt have to fuck.
Lionsmane8 4mo ago
Lol I like this one.
I usually like to say that they want their perfect male attendant/butler.
Tall, slick, handsome, metrosexual, fashionable, slightly faggy, that will listen to her bullshit and reinforce her delusions while providing for her, cooking for her, making mean Sangrias and protecting her if need be..
Of course with nothing in return, because she is so special and totally deserves all of it.
Lone_Ranger 2 4mo ago
The perfect man for the modern woman is a combo between their daddy and a gay best friend.
It's no wonder that women are never happy.
mattyanon Admin 4mo ago
Well no...... a one night stand does not a plate make.
Oh fucking great........ so she fucks you, fucks someone else, then won't fuck you because now they....... look, this is standard epiphany phase shit.
it's a shit test for you and all other men she meets
Definitely worth zero effort after shit like that.
Be careful of being the security blanket / orbiter / emotional tampon. Not paying is easy, but women have sneaky ways of getting support from men without men quite realising it's happening...... hanging around, hoping for pussy, while she keeps getting what SHE wants..... (attention / protection / someone who wants to fuck her / listen to her / orbiter etc)
Fundamentally: FIND MORE OPTIONS.
Other than that...... you either have sex or you keep dates SHORT. Leave early, be vague, be distant, be non-committal, DO NOT BE HER FRIEND, make sure you do nothing for her, don't keep in touch properly, ignore most texts, don't reply for days, be random, etc.
Make sure you provied zero security, emotional support, etc...... and don't sub communicate that you willl be there for her in future, etc. etc.
Keep doing that for a while till it sinks in with her, then bang.
Boggsbox 4mo ago
FIND MORE OPTIONS! indeed. Thanks for this breakdown, opened up a new dating profile and also reached out to 2/3 old solid plates all down to meet this week and next. I’ll leave this other girl with zero communication, if she wants to be one of 4 plates she can but I 100% won’t be her provider and orbiter
mattyanon Admin 4mo ago
This Is The Way
pancakesforbreakfast 4mo ago
Overinvestment on your side. Go talk to 5 other women.
The word Plate is just a mental model to help guys understand that women are fickle, plentiful, and not worth investment (until they earn it with nonsexual actions)
What this means for you is either you're having sex with her or, if you aren't having sex with her, you go talk to other women("plates") to have sex with.
I don't hang out with plates if sex isn't involved.
A soft next is when you stop talking to a girl until she initiates contact.
What is happening to you is the girl is congruence testing you by asking "will you give me your attention if we don't have sex? what is the price of your attention?" and you're responding "yes we can hang out if we don't have sex as long as you kiss me and make me think we might have sex again eventually". In a way it is a shit test but think about it as a frame test. I will bet that you wouldn't hang out with this girl if she said that to you directly, so act accordingly.
Lone_Ranger 2 4mo ago
this is gold. Plates are not friends. Do start acting like it either, otherwise they will withdraw the sex part very quickly.
Boggsbox 4mo ago
I agree about the congruence test, seems like she's trying to push this situation into either we continue hanging out doing great activities with no sex, or I collapse into her frame of being her boyfriend at which point she will give me sex but it will be at the expense of me succumbing to her leadership.
is a soft next on the cards? - I have recently soft nexted for 1 week no contact and she messages asking to spoon / Netflix and chill, shall I use this option or attempt to schedule something in 3/4 days.
pancakesforbreakfast 4mo ago
You're still trying to save a girl who proved to you she's a bad fit for you, man.
For next time, when any girl tries to control the frame by setting her new standard of withholding sex (which is a mandatory nonstarter for any RP man), agree and amplify and don't take her seriously. Maybe that would've worked or maybe she's a psycho.
With this one specific girl though, it will be a million times easier to find a new girl than the work needed to close again.
My advice is to forget about her and go talk to 5 new girls. Enjoy the memory of banging her and let the past be the past.
Boggsbox 4mo ago
fuck man thanks for opening my eyes! let the past be the past - I can't let someone control me with new terms of service for a product I've already sampled! on to the next one
MrSupreme 4mo ago
Talk to more girls,don't feel like she has to be a plate because you fucked once. That's what casual hooking up culture gets you. Talk to more women,enjoy seducing them and fuck a few more. Don't write the blonde off just yet, only stop texting for a while until she makes contact. She could be trying to friend zone you,but I don't think that's the case if you already fucked.Give it some time,don't get lazy because it was an easy lay
Boggsbox 4mo ago
agreed! I simply got lazy because of ease of the lay ... on to the next one its time I get 3/4 consistent ones on rotation.
financehardo420 4mo ago
Her telling you she got banged by another dude is a major sign of disrespect. Subsequently demanding LTR status is crazy and extreme low value behavior. She got pumped and dumped and wants you to pick up the pieces of her ego.
It’s not a plate until you’ve successfully railed multiple times.
Bonus: you kinda went a bit overkill with the “I’m not your bf I don’t care as long as you’re clean etc etc” which is how this behavior has resulted. More alpha response would have been something like checking her on the disrespect of telling u ab other dudes. “I fucked 4 other girls last week you don’t see me telling you about them”
Extra bonus: you need more girls brah bitches ain’t shit but hoes n tricks
First-light 4mo ago
This girls is very immature and slutty. She has gone and got banged by a guy she really liked -probably a quality Chad- then when she is feeling really into him and full of the glory of her attractiveness, she has found out he is unavailable. She was not the powerful glorious one in the situation, she was the "used" one in her mind.
Her sluttiness combined with her failure to get what she wanted has freaked her out. She wants to clean up her act a bit and not be a plaything.
What are the odds of this lasting? How many 19 year old sluts reform before they are 39? 99% chance she will lick her wounds and then go and look for a bigger Chad, accepting lesser ones along the way to make her feel good.
What do you need to do? Nothing much just don't be dumb. Sluts like to slut. She will go slutty again, so long as you have not made yourself either too critical or too much of a beta to take advantage.
You know she is in no way going to be LTR material, so you just spin the plate when you want. You don't have to go and break the plate. If she pushes for girlfriend status you can honestly say "look we can call it that but it wasn't that a couple of weeks ago when you were quivering on some other guy's dick. I am OK with that but I would need a time of you acting like a girlfriend for me to think of you like one. Call it that if you like and I will say I am your boyfriend. You know its safe and fun being with me, lets have good times and see what grows." Chances are after a few weeks or months you will be bored. She is not LTR stuff by the sound of it but you could have some fun meantime if you don't smash the plate.
Lionsmane8 4mo ago
Continue with the protocol.
Divest in your mind.
Take her out as usual, escalate and go for the bang.
If she puts up unnecessary and unusual resistance, next her.
Don't fall for her trap (someone else will).