I was having a casual phone call with LTR of 3 years talking about some stupid stereotypes in my country. I touched on one that says women from her tribe have a high sex drive and most guys can’t keep up with them. To which she responds it’s kinda true. I ask her how she would know and she says because she’s from that tribe. I ask her to expound (by now I’ve lost the joking mood and this is pretty serious for me) given that it has always appeared I am the one with a higher sex drive in the relationship. She says it varies and largely depends on personal values and principles. To which I ask whether she’s actively holding back from having as much sex as she would like. She says yes, the same way some people entirely abstain from sex before marriage. Apparently she made this decision when she broke her virginity. At this point she can tell this is serious for me and she can’t understand why. We have sex wherever and whenever I want to, and in her opinion that decision is about her and shouldn’t affect me in any way. I can’t wrap my mind about this and I feel like I’ve been living a lie as far as the LTR is concerned. Yes I have access to her whenever I want to, sexually and otherwise (phone, social media accounts etc)But this feels like negotiated desire to me; if she hungered for me as she should she would want to fuck me whenever the urge occurred. I asked her how things would be different if she didn’t have said principle. She couldn’t answer that. I don’t know how to proceed from here. Everything else has been great; she’s feminine and submissive, even buys me gifts and takes me on dates yet she has no job. I was even considering her for marriage but this feels huge. Is it a real problem or is it just something she just tells herself to feel like she’s principled? Or should I go by “ignore what they say and watch they do?”
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Musicgoon78 1 3mo ago
So you're getting consistently laid from a girl you like and bitching about getting it whenever and wherever you desire. I fail to see the problem. Would you like her to give you a trophy and erect a statue in your honor?
Your being a fucking baby about this. Pull your head out of your ass. This isn't a problem.
Lone_Ranger 2 3mo ago
Don't worry - she is just being clumsy with her words. She's actually trying to impress you, by hinting at the idea that there are vast pools of untapped libido available for you after you get married.
You are worrying about nothing ....but hey....I totally understand.
Try to forget about it and carry on.
coolsocks00 1 3mo ago
You’re getting hung up on some bullshit bait she’s served you. Probably something she made up just for fun. Now she’s observing how much something like that can affect you and testing the waters.
By taking it so seriously, you’re displaying needy beta behaviours.
My bet is she was just looking for some variation and an emotional high. If you dont give them that, many women will just make shit up or throw a fit over something minor.
You shouldve patted her on the fucking head and told her she gets exactly as much dick as she deserves, and that would be it.
w4iks 3mo ago
Thanks for the reality check. I think I have my ego invested in this more than I should.
financehardo420 3mo ago
where do you think she got the money to buy you gifts even though she doesn’t have a job ;)
w4iks 3mo ago
Parents, older siblings. She’s a student and literally saves money for my birthdays, valentines or any other occasions. Let’s just say this is not an issue here. I am way more resourceful than the average guy. My country heavily relies on mobile money and I can pull her statements, calls and locations whenever I need to (from law enforcement or friends working in telcos).
whytehorse2021 3mo ago
Oh, so N Korea...
w4iks 3mo ago
Lol no. Africa