Some users here have advised me to make female friends to get “calibrated” (whatever that means). How would one go about this? Where do you meet females who would be down to be friends? I don’t think I could tolerate being friends if all they did was vent and cry about the chad that railed them so if that’s what it’s gonna be like I’d rather not
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Musicgoon78 2 7mo ago
Terrible fucking idea. You don't have abundance, therefore you shouldn't have female friends.
[deleted] 7mo ago
[--removed--]
Intrepid_Place53900 1 7mo ago
Most women view men as a "resource".
what can he do for "me".
Can he fix stuff for me, can he listen to me vent, can he hang around and attract other men for me, and so on.
So, to be "friends". As others have said, first, it's a woman you wouldn't want to bang. The rest is, not being taken advantage of/ used.
You make sure if there's benefits being traded, it's 50/50. You want me to fix that faucet in your apartment, ok, make me a good dinner or buy me a bottle of bourbon.
I've had friends like this. They usually are women without a "LTR", as soon as they get into a LTR, I'm ghosted. which makes sense. She doesn't want to try to convince her guy I wasn't banging her.
entgame 7mo ago
IMO if woman is bangable then exchanging goods is fine as long as bang is in the air
If not bangable I would switch to a cash exchange asap (right away). I would rather Cook for myself - with an exception of, if I needed to train the game.
whytehorse2021 7mo ago
I'm gonna agree with everyone else and clarify why. Dancing is a good way to meet female friends. It's fun, it's co-ed, and everything is set up for it to happen. That assumes you have a local dance scene. I recommend ballroom dancing. Maybe take lessons if available and needed.
You'll have to watch out for those one-sided friendships. We call this being an orbiter or a "nice guy" and getting taken advantage of. Just treat them exactly the same as you would treat a guy friend.
Some of the benefits of having a few female friends are:
You get calibrated to talking to women without looking at their boobs or acting awkward.
They provide pre-selection and social proof to other women.
They will try to play matchmaker and find you hot chicks to bang.
Redpillpusher 7mo ago
You are taking the easy way out again. Besides it being difficult and rare to make genuine female friends, I would strongly advise you not to. Based on your prior post I would conclude that you are the perfect mold for a long-term friend zone occupant. You are so ignorant of female nature that you could easily be trapped. They might not vent about Chad to you, but they'll definitely find 20 other ways to keep you locked in. Stop obsessing over females and focus on improvement
joyboy 7mo ago
Trapped in what? I'm just doing it to become "calibrated" which I guess means more socially skilled around women. And it makes sense tbh,
Redpillpusher 7mo ago
What is your main goal in all of this
joyboy 7mo ago
Getting laid
Redpillpusher 7mo ago
So you're befriending them not to smash them, but to be calibrated enough to smash other women?
joyboy 7mo ago
Yeah. Plus they might be able to introduce me to their single friends too
No-Stress-Cat 7mo ago
Wrong. When a girl says out loud, "You would make a good boyfriend." or "I want you to meet my friend." she is signalling to all the other girls within hearing range that you are NOT CHAD, a.k.a. "Beta bitch here, ladies, step up and get your piece of the pie." If you were CHAD, she would keep you as far away her friends as possible because she doesn't want to compete with her own friends.
If you want to meet girls through networking, have your GUY FRIENDS invite you to parties and introduce you to girls. They're more likely to point out which ones are the sluts.
Redpillpusher 7mo ago
What you are doing is equivalent to a premed student saying that he will take an earth science course that isn't required to graduate because it's a "science" course and it'll help him he a better medical student. Only minimally related to the field of medicine and virtually unnecessary. You do not need to become friends with females to be social skilled among them. An utter waste of time and effort that could be redirected elsewhere.
joyboy 7mo ago
And where would I redirect my efforts then. I'm already reading theory/archives if that's what you were going to suggest. I'm already improving as much as I can. I guess I could just spam approaches but I feel like that would just result in crashing and burning and I'll be even worse off.
Redpillpusher 7mo ago
No-Stress-Cat hinted towards the superior path to take if you want to improve social skills via friendships at the end of his post. Work on making MALE friends. I've posted this b4 to you on a previous thread you started; I believe that you are socially lacking in general. You don't need more female friends; you need more friends. Many of men successful with women have few if any female friends but many male friends. I've stated this several times: before men are men or women are women, we all are people. Your lack of social grace with women reflects your overall lack of social grace. You don't need to know the subtle nuances of female interaction; you need to improve your interaction with people. At the very least to take advantage of what else No-Stress-Cat stated because your homies will let you know where the hos are
MrSupreme 7mo ago
I don't think I believe in female friends anymore, specially if they're single.Best case I can think of is if you're friends with another couple, that could work specially if you have a partner.
Vermillion-Rx Admin 7mo ago
They have utility. There is always a use for female friends if you have no interest in fucking them and they are accessories for other aspects of your life.
I do agree they that female friends that provide nothing but chatter etc are useless. Female friends you don't want to fuck but accessorize your life within your frame are useful though
OP plain doesn't understand women though, hence the recommendation he learn female nature with ones he won't butcher if he's not trying to fuck them
Whatsnext 7mo ago
I hardly consider most men friends after seeing how easily they turn when pressure is applied to them (chance to fuck, police, etc.) I wouldnt consider any women a friend. I only consider acquaintances. I'd say chat everyone up with a positive attitude. I wouldn't text back and forth or spend time on the phone but just meet people and trade contacts
Whatsnext 7mo ago
Read "The Manipulated Man"
Maturin_nj 7mo ago
Fine as acquaintances never as friends. Agree completely. The lowest level guys are usually some sort of friend within the circle social. Ive seen this dynamic time after time. Never never limit your options and your youth this way.better to be a lone wolf than reduce yourself to this garbage. Plus the so called social proof won't be worth a damn. It's way overrated.
Whatsnext 7mo ago
Being the friend actually is a bad thing in my experience as other girls will see it and think "oh hes not good enough to smash them so i dont want him either" but maybe its different for other guys
First-light 7mo ago
It depends what you mean by friends. If you mean real friends, I don't think men and women make good friends. Women generally want entertaining in social situations and look to men to provide something or other -help doing "man" tasks for them like moving furniture, fixing the sink or they want you to pay for their food and drinks when out, Some want to vent to a beta orbiter, some want to get into your pants. None of this makes for good friendships. The last woman I agreed to be friends with was pregnant a month later. I really should have known better as I told her men and woman can't be friends but she claimed to share some of my interests. These days I simply avoid them socially. Its Briffault again. They expect benefit to flow to them in any kind of relationship.
Now that said you can act friendly with women and get called a friend but you mustn't actually believe it is real. You can also associate with them in work and in leisure just fine but never actually think of them like you would of a male friend - as a comrade, someone who you have his back, he has yours and you want nothing from him only good for him because he wants the same for you.
Its best to find women who share a common purpose and associate with them, so you like the gym, talk to women in the gym about their goals, their workouts, the structure of their sets, share nutritional ideas with them, be genuinely interested in what they have to say. Only talk to the ones who actually know anything, pay no attention to their looks, never chat them up. Mentally decide you will never try to bang them. This sort of thing will actually teach you about women as they will let slip a lot in their conversations. This kind of thing works OK, so long as you keep it on that level. When they say "I am moving flats can you help me?" say "yes but you will owe me one", then make sure you ask the favour to be repaid soon at an appropriate level (of course nothing sexual, and not having cake baked for you, something actually useful).
Lone_Ranger 2 7mo ago
You are going to have to do a lot more reading my friend.
Men and women cannot be friends. It can be useful to have a few female friends in school but once you are an adult, you have got to face reality - men and women cannot be friends.
You need to go back to the drawing board. You should be asking how you can grow your network of guy friends.
Maturin_nj 7mo ago
Well said!
enfier 7mo ago
No clue what your actual dating problem is but you'll probably learn a lot. If it's a waste of time just stop hanging out with them. Actually having some women friends can do a lot to take them off the pedestal and if you can manage to get them comfortable enough to actually talk about the stuff they are up to it's pretty eye opening. You'll just get more comfortable being around women in general. I have lots of women friends, many came from social dancing, others came from joining my kid's booster's club, some came from just pickup.
You should be meeting women on a regular basis through pickup and just being social anyways. Any time you go out with a girl and she's fun and cool to hang out with but it's just not a good fit, tell her that you don't really want to date but she has a good vibe and you'd like to hang out with her. I've ended up with lots of women friends that I went on 1 or 2 dates with and it just ended up being mutual non attraction. If you are going to be an actual friend, then what's the big deal with chad railing them? Seems like a fun time. I'm real careful not to fuck up their girl game and when they manage to show up with a decent guy I'm sure to say something positive about him. If you aren't all fucking butt hurt and possessive and negative about sex then you'll start getting the real story instead of the sanitized one.
Also, start social dancing. You'll be in close proximity with a lot of women and you'll get used to making physical contact and interacting with very attractive women. It will get rid of a lot of your nerves and give you opportunities to meet women friends. Just be really careful with hitting on women in social dance scenes... they are generally much smaller communities than you would imagine and the women talk. Unless the girl is obviously interested, just show up, dance and have a fun time and do your dating elsewhere for at least a couple of months.
To have and keep women friends, just be genuine. That doesn't mean feed them a sob story about your shitty dating life. Just remove the damn filter and see what happens. As an example I told some of my women friends about fun with a girl in Colombia that really really wants me to pick up another girl for a threesome and the reactions are all across the board and hilarious. A lot of "well I like to have fun too, take me to Colombia next time." One friend keeps trying to track down Colombian girls for me to bang. Honestly, I was terrified to just let loose with the full situation but I just fucking went with it and now it's like a legend. Just pull the damn filter.
Sidenote: A bunch of women friends won't do as much as you'd hope for your dating life. My best friend is pretty much the world's worst wing woman because the other girls think she's in love with me and a lot of women tend to freak out when you have a bunch of attractive women friends. I tend to meet women a lot better out solo than with girl friends. It's still fun though, I can just send a text or two and have a girl on my side whenever. Also, while I wouldn't imply that you are sleeping with any of them, I also wouldn't go out of your way to clarify the situation. If people are going to assume that you have a rotation of women that you are sleeping with /shrug