I feel like a woman can always find a guy to fuck / get into a relationship with her way easier than a man, even if the guy is more attractive. Hence, even if they break up, even if the guy is the one who initiates it, she will find another guy either at the same speed or faster than he can find another girl. She has options no matter how ugly; infinite, with no repercussions because of birth control, hence the woman will hold the power.
How do I get over this debilitating fact, it makes me feel so powerless as a man. The only thing that used to stop them was the fear of God and pregnancy.
Background: I have been following TRP for a really long time but for some reason only just came to terms with this realisation, like properly, partially because I ended an LTR because it became long distance (it was gonna be like this for 2 years) and there’s no chance she wasn’t going to find someone else to fuck while I’m not there.
MyBoyJob 3mo ago
Nah they can’t find the relationship. They are fucking guys who are better than them, and those guys won’t settle down with her.
whytehorse2021 3mo ago
Go to SE Asia or Latin America. Experience what it's like to be a sex god.
mattyanon Admin 4mo ago
yes
Ah, well...... no.
If you're attractive and strong and know what you're doing around women and with that particular woman, you have something that she won't be able to find elsewhere. And it's not even very hard to be that or do that, because most men are so blue pilled and clueless.
Eztreoux 4mo ago
So being red pilled, jacked with a good career makes me more of a rare commodity than the average attractive woman even if they can cook, clean etc. (my ex did all this shit for me and never acted out of order so I’d consider her high value). Is power just about who is harder to find from each sex? Or is it something else I’m missing.
Was the move I made to break up once long distance was established wise? There was gonna be no sex, no physical touch, and there’s no way she wouldn’t receive attention and cheat on me (she was completely fucking innocent here but AWALT) no matter how RP I was because I can’t establish frame 1000 miles away was how I came to that decision. I also wanted the freedom to pursue others without a guilty conscience but I guess im frustrated at the fact that she’ll still get shacked up and probably move on faster than I if I’m being real
mattyanon Admin 3mo ago
Yes.
It's about how much value you have versus her alternatives...... how much you care about those things..... how much she cares about those things..... and ability to project/negotiate around those things. This is not a simple formula because it has to include how able you are to project your value such that she feels it, and how able you are to deflect her bluffs and shit tests.
hell yes
right
Concentrate on YOU.
You wanted the disconnect from her, but here you are obsessing over your relative options and ease of getting those options.
Fact of the matter is that young attractive women have many easy options. You have to work for yours. Things flip for women after 30, but who cares because you want to fuck younger women anyway..... so you're going to have to learn to be awesome.
Eztreoux 3mo ago
Appreciate the breakdown and reply, thank you
redhawkes 2 4mo ago
Who gives a fuck..
You need to learn about internal locus of control/mental point of origin. If you don't internalize this, you gonna turn into whining bitch and self loathing loser.
Another thing is that you're talking about different sexual strategies.
The difference between a man sleeping with many women and a woman sleeping with many men is like the difference between riding a bike uphill and riding a bike downhill: they may look the same, but one requires strength, effort, and dedication, while the other requires just sitting there and letting nature take its course.
There are no fat ugly studs, but many fat ugly sluts.
A key that can open many locks is a valuable master key, a lock that opens with any old key is just a shitty lock.
Male promiscuity differs from female promiscuity because men and women are not the same. Get yourself in the driving seat and stop bitching.
No-Stress-Cat 4mo ago
Found a gold nugget, gentlemen.
Eztreoux 4mo ago
I understand that it is way harder for a guy to fuck than it is for a girl. All the analogies and examples you gave (which I’ve drilled into my head over the years and know) explain my point exactly, it makes it so a girl can do whatever she wants basically and she will still have more options than the guy putting a fuckton of effort.
I want to know how to get over this shitty dynamic if I’m going to be in an LTR in the future or even have FWBs, I hate it. I don’t know why I just realised but they hold all the power because of their unlimited options, especially if their attractive like my ex.
The only option I see right now is to stop caring about sex but if I’m being real, that is literally naturally impossible to do, especially as a young guy like me
I just need some genuine guidance than some vague general alpha advice like “stop being a bitch” “women lock men masterkey”, I’ve heard this a million times, it does not help with my current dilemma I understand sexual dynamics are different.
Please read what I’m saying properly
redhawkes 2 4mo ago
Read the sidebar in case you missed it. It's all in there. Your FRAME is shit.
Basically, become a Paretto's man. Get yourself in the top 20% and it's like shooting a fish in a barrel. You also have scarcity mentality and pedestalize pussy af.
If you LARP TRP as an average chump, then forget about it. Bitches have options, but are they better than you? If so, pussy is the least of your problems. They want the top percentile, not some chump. For guys is different. Women date up, men date down. You're projecting your sexual strategy onto them.
Basic TRP 101, eggs are expensive, sperm is cheap. Quality dick is rare.
financehardo420 4mo ago
Another big part of redpill is stoicism; choosing to focus on things you can control and accepting those you can’t.
You can’t control women having options; you’re right it simply is that way. You CAN control yourself having options (or at least do your best to reduce the gaps between a chick’s level of abundance and your own).
Musicgoon78 1 4mo ago
Meh,
You just need to change your frame. Women have it a bit easier for dating, but as a guy you don't have it bad. You have millions of women to choose from. It sounds like you're still hurting from your last girl. I get that. I lost an amazing woman because she moved 4 hours away for school. She's still in touch with me. And she definitely shacked up with the safe bet.
I didn't give up because there were still many options out there you just need to go get them instead of reading shit and working yourself up into a mess.
Eztreoux 4mo ago
I would be lying if I said losing an attractive girl who cooked, cleaned, was basically a maid who was hot af didn’t instigate my research into this concept, however I think from here on out I’ll have to cold approach or set up an online dating profile to move on properly. Or I’ll end up disabled by oneitis.
The thing is I don’t know if a new girl is gonna help my situation because I know that shit won’t last, I’ll be leaving the country in 2.5 years for my career. Casual sex doesn’t really do shit from what I heard but I guess I can try by using Tinder or something.
How did you “not give up”/move on? Did you cold approach or actively pursue women?
Musicgoon78 1 4mo ago
I'm not a give up type of guy. I'm driven. Trust me when I say no woman is irreplaceable. Every time I found an awesome one, another would come along. I never stop looking or flirting.
Musicgoon78 1 4mo ago
What do you mean casual sex does do shit *from what You've heard. Casual sex will definitely cure your woes.
Problematic_Browser 1 4mo ago
Hard truth time.
If you're in the bottom 80%, women are going to have all the sexual power until their mid 30s. Accept it.
Here's the good parts:
All the sexual power in the world isn't shit compared to their desire to belong to a man that they want. And who controls relationships?
There are three things that will keep you stuck - thinking about what you don't have, dwelling on failures, and focusing on things you can't control. If you focus on what you have, the things you can control, and live in the present you will be able to make decisions that pay off in the future.
Eztreoux 4mo ago
I’m having trouble understanding why #1 is true because I re-read the sidebar recently and was reminded by Tomassi that men are the romantic ones. Men are the ones who want intimacy, so don’t we get controlled by what we want.
I think #2 only comes if you actively pursue women. Cold approach or Online Dating when you’re in the Top 20%. Correct me if I’m wrong
I really liked the reminder on the last part, thank you
Problematic_Browser 1 4mo ago
You're over here getting upset at the sexual options of women because that's what you want. What you're ignoring is what they want.
The best way to get what you want from someone is to offer them something they want. You want sexual access to women? You have to understand that they want commitment from top tier men. They spend most of their time chasing men for that very thing, being mad at the men with options similar to how you're mad at them.
We're men. We control sole access to relationships with heterosexual women. They have to come to us and the market for marriage is far harder than the market for sex.
You're wrong. When you hit that threshold, simply being accessible is reason enough for women to toss it at you. You don't have to pursue at that point - I can't count how often I'm ambushed with offers for sex when I'm in a new city.
MrSupreme 4mo ago
Dude really,stop comparing yourself or other men to women. They are privileged just by being born,men have to build up their value.We are born different and remain different,accept that instead of thinking how easy it is for them to get fucked or find a beta wholl pay her rent
Vermillion-Rx Admin 4mo ago
Most of women's options are shit or don't actually satisfy their hypergamy
Stop bitching
[deleted]
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Amazing_Egg 4mo ago
Yup. It happened with my ex. She was constantly replying dry as fuck to all texts that random guys sent her (while replying instantly and with lots of "enegry" to me) and complained to me that they were bothering her (they usually stopped after hearing my voice on the phone and that was that). Then I went through a rough patch (lasted for almost half of the relationship), got demotivated, stopped performing as well in bed, also stopped hanging out with my friends, and I became very lethargic and boring to be around (basically lost all the things she liked about me), which led to me getting way too attached to her, and then she met someone else and dumped me (probably saw him once or twice behind my back as well, but we'll never know).
Vermillion-Rx Admin 4mo ago
Why did you post the same comment 3 times in 20 minutes
Amazing_Egg 4mo ago
Cuz it was stuck on "saving post". I never actually saw that it had been posted until now.
Musicgoon78 1 4mo ago
That shit happens to me as well on here...
Almost every damn time.
Vermillion-Rx Admin 4mo ago
It's a bug
But yeah man your story sounds like a standard example of female nature, sorry it happened to you. At least you got to see the full spectrum
Amazing_Egg 4mo ago
Yup. I thought she loved me enough to stay with me through it and motivate me, but she asked for some time off, and I agreed with the condition that if she wanted to hook up with someone else, she'd tell me and dump me before. She told me that she had lost feelings after I pressured her for almost two weeks, dumped me, and then I found out through some friends she was seeing a guy "behind my back".
Funnily enough, it was a guy that when she met, she refered to him as a "ghost" (a ghost in spanish is someone that likes to brag a lot to make himself seem like a sort of god among men, but in reality doesn't have a whole lot to brag about). He also has no driver's license, no car, despite being 19 (I got both, and my car is the kind that makes people think you're rich), and has to take viagra because of the steroids he takes. And yet, despite the fact that he's been doing steroids for like 2 years, his body is not a whole lot better than natty guys that have spent like a year at the gym. (I'm kind of coping/venting while writing this lol).
All this situation has taught me is that while I can be attractive to women intellectually (which I was for her when we met), I also need to be attractive to them on a visceral level (which I'm guessing he is to her). Well, that, and wanting to learn martial arts cuz he threatened to bash my head in for sneaking up behind him to confirm that he was talking to her lol.
If you have any questions I'll gladly answer them.
Eztreoux 4mo ago
Appreciate the succinct, relevant information. I guess I didn’t take into account the “long distance” part and now I’m suffering as a result. My question is below
One realisation I came to as I was thinking about this is that there are an equal number of men and women and both want to have sex. Good dick is rare, probably even more rare than attractive women because it’s built. So the woman has options but the options suck ass. Meanwhile the HVM has options and he’ll usually fuck anything that moves with less attachment?
I understand that women are the guardians of sex and men the guardians of relationships. Is this because it is harder to get a high value man to commit? High value men see one night stands as is while even a high value women will see it as more?
My understanding is that the hierarchy is: High value male > high value female > low value female > low value male. But I need some clarification on why that is to help rationalise it.
I’ve read the sidebar, I know the rules of Tomassi, I know I won’t get unconditional love, I am completely fine with that. I just need to understand why the above paragraph holds truth and also why men are the guardians of relationships which is what women want after all unlike men.
Vermillion-Rx Admin 4mo ago
This question has multiple components involving deeper social and sexual psychology, supply and demand, investment etc. as such i need more time to answer it
Remind me later if i don't respond today
Eztreoux 4mo ago
It’s been a day, reminder
Vermillion-Rx Admin 3mo ago
I had planned to write a post called "women don't actually have that many options" but I'll move it to the front of my post queue.
I'll write the full post when i get back from where I'm traveling
Vermillion-Rx Admin 4mo ago
Will answer when i can i at a 5 day festival
First-light 4mo ago
To some extent their options are liberating for men. Women are not burdens in quite the same way if you don't marry them. You can trade them in and get a new model easily. You can learn to look like high value and get them acting all silly over you. Men do find it harder to secure a LTR and a mate for childrearing who, especially if the men below average attractiveness. That is a fact of the current market but we have to live with that and try to look to the pluses.
Women are no longer a permanent duty for men. High value guys (or guys who can fake the tells of high value) get to use them for fun for free like never before.
Reproduction is tough and dangerous financially/ legally. You need to plan in advance here but otherwise you can enjoy women like never before -or just avoid them if you choose without great shame in being a single man.
Maturin_nj 4mo ago
HVM is an undefined term. Over generalized and used by gurus like rich copper as a solution to certain guys mating problems. Tons of guys doing well career wise, making money, followed all the rules, like circus seals, MDs, engineers, entrepreneurs, that are still coming up empty at 40 in the lady department.
Eztreoux 4mo ago
I think it’s the other way around, women find it harder to secure a fit “high value man” because men guard relationships and commitment.
Whatsnext 4mo ago
All the more reason to not take them seriously
Eztreoux 4mo ago
I don’t take them seriously. I don’t make it personal, I’ve accepted women for who they are and what nature prefers.
I am simply looking for evidence (because I’m sure there is), that they don’t hold power over me because of their “options”. But I’m realising if I’m in the top, this is what they have to ultimately commit to, so I hold the power or there is at least a balance.
Can you explain why HVM>HVF>LVF>LVM. I know one is built, the other exists but that doesn’t inherently mean the top holds the most power.
Separate analogy you can reply to but don’t focus on it: I can be born into royalty destined for the throne and the man who worked his ass off to become a multi millionaire provided all else equal will have less influence than I do on, well, fucking bitches
Whatsnext 4mo ago
Theres a concept in 48 laws of power that basically says show disdain for things you dont / cannot have.
"If you want something but can't get it, don't draw attention to it by complaining. Act as if you weren't interested in the first place. If you're attacked by an inferior (or make a mistake yourself), act as though you didn't notice it."
Read more books on the sidebar. Read the sidebar. A few times can help.
Typo-MAGAshiv 2 4mo ago
The very term "high value male" is a crock of shit. It's what Rian Stone calls a "container word".
Ever notice that anytime one of those YouTube faggots gets pressed to define it, their definition is always someone slightly less than whatever qualifications they have that they think matter?
Forget that bullshit and just focus on doing well in most aspects of your life.
Example, and something I tell newbies at the trp.red side of the site all the time: you don't have to have a 6-pack and be huge and shredded like a professional bodybuilder; you just need to be solidly built and not a soft, effeminate wuss.
Whatsnext 4mo ago
No one holds any power over you really. If your boss said get on your knees and suck my dick or im firing you. You would quit. It's the same with a girl who has "power over you." If she says do XYZ or your not getting any pussy / im leaving / im giving you an attitude. You have to hold your boundaries as your number 1 priority. Its not about "oh i have another girl TONIGHT" its more about holding to your boundaries, valuing yourself more than what you want from her. A 10/10 girl can't tell me shit. I just do not care enough of what she has because I see her as a 5/10. Ill be alone for 5 years before I break my boundaries for a girl (from experience.) Its like trying to negotiate with a terrorist.
As far as HVM>HVF>LVF>LVM. My purview of a HVM and HVF are probably different than yours. I make good money but I have found that money means nothing to me its just a tool. But most look at HVM as something very rare (rich chad basically.) so it makes sense hes above HVF. HVF is still rare because they are going to be attractive, and do things for you besides sex. LVF still has more options than most men on the planet because every man wants sex / a relationship.
I think you are thinking WAY too far into the redpill terminology. Its not as deep as you make it
Eztreoux 4mo ago
So is that food chain order just about who is a rarer commodity in society? Rich chad is rarer than girl who’s hot and cooks/cleans?
Because I saw it on a thread in TRP when reading the sidebar but they never really explain why it was that way, they just kinda stated it and moved on
Yes I understand that I’m thinking a lot right now, but I think it’s necessary thinking/discussion or at least it’ll help clear things in my mind so I can focus. Soon enough I’ll be off holiday and grinding my life away again, won’t have time to do shit and I don’t want this to be on my mind
Maturin_nj 4mo ago
They can't do as you say when they are 40, 50, 60.sure some have super powers for a while but who the fuck cares. Powerless. You have more power in your little finger than they have. Your weak in the head. Your thinking like beta BP guys think. Let them ruin their lives. Not your problem. They don't hold all the options. I've dumped lots of girls and never cared. It's life. Learn how it works or go watch the hallmark channel.
Eztreoux 4mo ago
My brother, while the girl who keeps fit and is rich into her 40s, 50s and above may have no commitment options she will definitely have no trouble getting her pussy licked by some young guy. But that’s not what women want.
On the other hand, the guy who keeps fit and is rich into his 40s, 50s and above I can’t say for sure will have no problems getting a young girl to bang him because what’s he gonna do? Cold approach in universities? Haha. Maybe online dating would help in this regard.
And who’s to say that rich girl can’t become a sugar mommy, though I’m pretty sure girls just don’t have the testosterone that gives them the drive to go to the gym, build a great career etc. if they don’t I’m pretty sure we’re fucked lmao