I was 27 years old. I made eye contact with this 7.5/10 QT3.14, and when she returned my gaze with a wicked little smile and adjusted her hair, I knew it was on like Donkey Kong.

I went right into my surefire method, nailing each step in the sequence because I'm just so alphawolfsigmahawk. Just as I began to hand her the onion, I heard this effeminate voice call out:

leave her alone, you misogynistic, Shrekfan fuckboy! She isn't interested!

A group of white knight soyboys had come up behind me as I was working my magic. I responded:

there are layers to this situation, just like with this onion, and the four of you are just envious of my layers.

The one who had spoken first took a sip of his soy Chai latte, and replied:

onions are a symbol of patriarchal oppression, you cishet fascist incel fuckboy.

Normally I'd have been a bit leery of going up against 4 other dudes, but these soyboys were skinny-fat weaklings. I figured I'd intimidate my way out of this.

do you little wimps even lift, bro?

Appalled, they replied in unison:

only fascist Trump supporters lift weights, you right wing racist.

I laughed and retorted with:

racist? That word has no power, especially when all of us are white and no one even mentioned race before now. I was going to give this onion to a special lady, but I think you need it more.

WHAM!

I shoved the onion into the leader's mouth.

The other three pulled out various weapons, from a sock full of pennies, to a chain with a bike lock, and a grocery bag with a can of soup.

Pantifa faggots! I should have known! Oh Shrek, where are you?

I called out.

The soyboys burst out laughing (except for the first one, who was still trying to get the onion out of his throat and mouth).

Shrek is symbolic of patriarchal oppression, and isn't even real!

They replied.

I don't know if they were distracted by the laughter, or if the smell of the onion I'd shoved in their leader's throat masked the new odor of more onions wafting our way.

ey, laddie, better even those odds!

It was Shrek! And he had his trusty onionzooka!

He didn't even need to use it; the soyboys all turned and ran.

well, laddie, aren't ye going to finish making her into your tradwife?

He asked me.

Before I could reply, the QT3.14 interjected:

I choose Shrek!

...as she leapt into his massive arms.

mogged! better luck next time, laddie!

Though i didn't get laid that night, I was still grateful for the assistance.

Shrek is love.

Shrek is LIFE.

I don't think getting answers to this question would help you in any way.

What other men do is out of your control, let them be. Had you not found this forum, you could very well have been one of those misguided men.

Just focus on yourself. The time you took to write this could have been for lifting, cleaning your own house, reading, or whatever actually benefits you. Betas will be betas, and the more beta they act, the more women there are for the taking

Wouldn't a strong independent woman just tell the white knight to butt out and leave her to ride Chad in peace?

In irl this isn't much of an issue. Just ignore them. The issue is usually with that one nasty girlfriend of hers who is around a 5.5 -6 who thinks she's a 9. Sometimes however one of your targets will have a gf whose a 6 but she's really cool. Situations vary. But social circle guys, friend zone dudes, I just ignored them because the girl sees them as eunuchs. No mercy for those guys who put themselves in that position.they are weak.