This looks more like a frame renegotiation from her part than a shit test.

Under no circumstances can you allow situations like that to be considered normal in a LTR. So you have two courses of action: either silently demote her and, if you want a LTR, start looking elsewhere, or explicitly declare that this was a breach or boundaries and you will only let it slip this one time. Just be careful to maintain your cool, don't go Rambo.

"she declined", but "he went on to do it anyways."

And she didn't file a complaint through HR? what ever happened to "no means no"?

The story seems like bullshit, whether the lie is that she ever said "no" or whether this even happened at all.

Nah its not a big deal man send the girl you committed to back to work so all the boys can rub her back for her. Shes ok with it. What are you insecure?

??????????????? What the fuck? How do you just let her say that and nothing happens

Back rub is sexualised contact. How often do you give a man a back rub? You might press on an injured muscle for a friend that he can't reach and massage it a bit to try and release it but when did you ever give a man a proper backrub?

Men know they are not allowed to be controlling in relationships, so they fear to state their boundaries. Sexual contact with another man is beyond the boundary of normal, even if it is this very minor form. You should just tell her that whether or not to say anything has been on your mind since she said it and you have decided to let her know you feel it is important to set out the boundaries of what is OK in a relationship, so please don't allow that to happen again. That's really all you need to say. At this point you are going to drive any breaking of this boundary under cover -which is a problem as you will know less what she is doing or if you can trust her but there is really no option now. If you make a big thing of it you will drive more contact with other men underground than just backrubs, so don't overdo the point. If she gets argumentative try not to wade in. You have stated your boundary. She didn't know before so its not a problem what has happened and there is nothing to argue about.

You can't give someone a backrub unless either they consent or you pin then down by force. "Oh but I just froze..." No you didn't you just took the easy option.

That reminds me, I should watch Pulp Fiction again,it's been a while. Unless you don't really care about sharing your girl like that, then she just pissed all over you. She's not a plate,it's a LTR as you said so I'm thinking over a year, Wich is enough time for you to establish boundaries and for her to be well aware of how much flirting and touching is too much. She sounds like trash if she just couldn't say no to a back rub at work. imagine with a few drinks on her what any dude could do. At least she told you,that's something.

Too late. Just file in the back of your mind. If it happens again, then bring it out: "This is the second time this has happened. Unacceptable. Here's what's going to happen now."

Tell her you've told a girl no but she went ahead and gave you a cock rub.

This deserves at least a strong soft next .

That's weird to me.

Id just return her to the streets.

Let's just be clear on what all this means first:

1. Getting back rubs from her male colleagues means she still has her fishing net out. Might not be specifically towards the guy who gave it (probably not, it's pretty simpish), but she is broadcasting general availability in the workplace.

2. Telling you "I said no, but he did it anyways" means she thinks you're a moron she can freely wrap around her little finger. Are you that moron?

3. There's a reason she's even telling you all this, and it's not loyalty. On some level, she's enjoying sticking the knife in, and twisting it. Alas, she's damaged goods, and not LTR material.

Me, I'd demote her to fuck buddy, and not take her seriously again. If I needed some time to process things, calm down, shake off the disappointment, or whatever, I'd demote her quietly, covertly.

Once you say something, you need to stick by it. Don't give ultimatums, ultimatums are fake and gay. Make a decision, and then tell. Even the classic "I don't take seriously women who do X, Y, and Z" is a passive-aggressive ultimatum. So you can't say that, and then take her seriously after all.

Obviously, if you want to hard next her, then you can do whatever. Put her on blast, it doesn't matter. But if you want to keep fucking her, keep her on grass, you need to maintain attractiveness in how you handle things.