Now I wonder if having someone by your side telling you basic stuff like "stop overspending, stop drinking, take a shower" is a necessity after retirement.

No, it's not a necessity.

As you can tell, it seems like I basically need a mother. I can work, I can focus on my career, I can do almost everything by myself. But I've noticed I have many traits my dad has. I'm naive, I have bad taste, I'm a weirdo most of the time, people don't want to hang out with me because of that.

you can fix that.

Women do not fix your problems...... the only problem women fix is "I want someone to fuck". They make everything else harder.

I feel I just need to let go my judgements about single moms, just find one that's not a whore, one with the lowest bodycount possible and that's fine.

No.

A single mother is raising her child. She's a full time mother and will never fully raise all your children because she will always be raising someone elses.

Single mothers are fine for sex, but not for commitment. She's already sold her child bearing years to somoene else, don't pay again.

Even if by chance a normal girl ends up liking me I cannot be sure I can guide and help her. And I feel sorry for this hypothetical girl already. I need help myself. I don't know if therapy could help.

Your love life is a journey. The solution is to be good with women, not to get a woman.

Looks like you caught one trait of your father that will surely cause an avalanche of calamity. You identify as a victim.

Now, you're going to have to make a sacrifice that's going to be extremely difficult for you. In fact, most of the guys with similar problems as yours will not make this sacrifice.

You're going to have to give up your victim identity and rebuild yourself.

You're going to have to let go of your beliefs and fears. Most men will not do this. They will sacrifice their friendships, happiness, love life and success just to confirm to themselves that they are a victim. This is the black pill mindset. It's a cancer.

You are not your father, you are not your past, you don't need a mommy replacement and you have every god given freedom and potential to build yourself into something great. And you have the support of a strong masculine community to do it.

Do you want to continue to sell this false narrative to us and yourself, or are you ready to sacrifice that identity in the name of self improvement and actualization?

I'll await a solid yes or no.

You are building your own prison.

You need to realise that you are not your father, and that your life is not already set in stone.

Build yourself a plan. That plan should have rules. Rules like - you never not have a shower. You work a solid 8 hours a day. You do a 5 km run every day, and the gym.

Build your own life. Find your mission or purpose.

PS. stay away from single moms. That way lies hardship - just don't.

I've only skimmed the other responses so far, but they seem great. Mull them over.

I'll try to come back to this again in greater depth if time permits, but for now:

There's no such thing as "fate" or "destiny". Your life is a series of choices and consequences.

If you don't want to end up like your dad, then don't emulate his choices.

Sounds like your dad is fulfilling the destiny of every blue pilled beta man. Divorced, alone, no grand-kids, failed son, blue-haired tatted feminist daughter, etc. If I were him I'd be depressed too and drink myself to death. He has internalized the feminist narrative.

I met a lot of retirees overseas. Most of them remarried to Asian women in Thailand, Philippines, Indonesia, etc. Maybe your dad needs to get his fucking passport and hit Nana Plaza in Bangkok. While he's there get his liver enzymes checked as well as his testosterone.

I'm pretty sure I was just like you at your age. It sounds like you've internalized the feminist narrative. What I did was I got my passport, sold all my junk, quit my corporate hell job, bounced on my lease, and hopped on a plane to Bali where my fiancee was waiting to greet me. I did an English teaching course at IALF and after that got married and started working in Bandung. Changed my life forever. I've been happily married for 18 years, have 2 sons, and love my life.

If your dad set the bar that low,there's nowhere to go but up, so don't worry too much about ending up like that. Make some money and learn how to spend,invest and save wisely. Don't take shit from people,always believe people will try to find a way to screw you over,some exceptions if it's old friends and some family members but learn to not trust people while still being nice,no need to become a hermit because people are shit.

Identify your vices. Maybe you don't drink or smoke cigarettes but you NEED women, porn, social media, etc. Once you identify what your vices are you can work to slowly remove them.

For example if your addiction is porn: You can quit. You will still mess up a few times because its an addiction but if you look at the long game you only used it 1-2 times a month instead of 1 time a day.

If your addiction is women: You can find passions and friendships greater than your lust for women and date moderately instead of pining for love or connection

Maybe its food: You can look into going on a cut and eliminating bad foods like sugar, etc

And wtf is the single moms part? There's a reason everyone says to not date them. Men have experience with them and its terrible. You sound like a pussy but you can change. Lift weights (ppl or ulul) and do cardio (150 mins/wk) to start. Most girls in the west you cant guide anyway even if you were a perfect reflection of masculinity. Once you commit to most western girls they are pieces of shit.

Its good to be aware of your natural weaknesses. You have likely inherited number of your father's strengths and weaknesses. Now you have identified them it is down to you to deal with them by minimising the vices and building strengths to counter them.

Awareness of reality is the first stage of all red pill thinking. Some of your weaknesses you can power through with will, some with planning and dedication and some you may never fully conquer (we all have some of these). Work on them all and see which ones are which as you go along. Its important to know which type is which and don't be too fast to think you have got it right -re-test often. Each type needs a different approach. Don't get down if one approach does not work on a problem, try something else.

Its a life's work. If you get to hand over the baton to your children having been overall less messed up than your parents, you are one of life's successes, one of nature's winners. Whether or not you win in kudos or wealth, this is the win that creates the big difference to your children's future.

My father was a roaring alcoholic, drug abuser, child beater, wife beater, and serial cheater. He ruled the family with an iron fist.

I knew one day when I grew up, I wasn't going to be like he was. Of course, I had my party years, weed and booze (not drugs), but that phase passed when I got married and had kids. I became a responsible adult, father, and husband. Beta as fuck, but I handled my business.

My brother, on the other hand, is the one who became an alcoholic (he doesn't do drugs). He can't handle his liquor, and when he's drunk out of his mind, he becomes just like our father was: verbally abusive to his wife and children, sometimes physically. It never got to the point to where I had to step in, but somewhat of an apple that didn't fall far from the tree.

When he's sober, we're the best of buds. Soon as he starts drinking though, he doesn't stop until he's passed out. We become complete opposites of each other. I tried to get him to get some help, but in the end, it's he who has to take that step.

What you decide to become is up to you. "Oh, it's genetic." is a bullshit woman excuse. Be your own man, and live life on your own terms. You know the consequences of your actions, and you have a good example of what not to do. So learn from your father's mistakes, and don't repeat them. It's just that simple.