How does one learn how to to argue like a lawyer? In heated arguments, I’m always at a loss for words and end up either being silent or leaving the conversation. I had an argument at work today where my coworker complained to our boss about me: it was I, she, and our boss talking. Even though I was right, she (coworker) twisted the story to her benefit, I failed to respond quickly enough and ended up losing the argument. Of course, I got home and realized what I should’ve said, but it was too late
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Lionsmane8 3mo ago
You are actually asking "how to argue like a woman".
TheRedPike Senior Endorsed 3mo ago
Don't bother. Unless you are in a court where there is a judge and or jury, there is literally no way to win an argument. If you have points to make, then make them. Leave the other retard to babble about their own shit.
Lone_Ranger 2 3mo ago
the trick is not argue with retards.
arguing is what they want. the moment you argue with them, they have won.
the only winning hand is not arguing with them.
AbusiveFather1 3mo ago
So when my boss came up to me and said that the coworker complained about me, I asked to bring this coworker around and have all 3 of us talk and hash it out. My friend said that this was a mistake because I tried to treat this female coworker like I would a man, but what ended up happening is I put myself into a losing situation because you can’t win an argument with a woman in modern America, especially at work. What do you think?
Lone_Ranger 2 3mo ago
I would have done the following;
"A complaint? All complaints have to be in writing, email is fine.. I expect you to follow the state law on this one to the letter of the law. I'm not discussing this any further until I've seen the complaint in writing."
They will 100% fuck it up. They will 100% violate data protection on any email they send to you, and they will discuss your case with others, which destroys their case. 100%. Human resources bloopies are the most retarded people in any organisation.
Typo-MAGAshiv 2 3mo ago
Women argue by getting you emotional and by changing the subject.
Stick to facts. Ignore emotions. Don't allow them to change the subject the nanosecond you prove your case.
Best choice is not to waste your time and energy on that crap at all, and just demonstrate rather than explicate.
Edit:
Also, a great technique is called fogging. Read the book "When I Say No I Feel Guilty". It has this and other techniques. Fogging is when someone makes some emotionally-based accusation, and you say something along the lines of "I can see why you'd feel that way". This disarms them by acknowledging their feelings without admitting wrongdoing. Rian Stone goes into this on his YouTube channel frequently.
Intrepid_Place53900 1 3mo ago
It's usually best to not argue your case in front of your boss. I would have said, maybe we should each discuss this in private with you (boss).
honestly in that situation, acting professional, not complaining in a heated argument and asking to have private discussion is going to win you points with a boss.
Ask your boss for a meeting in private to discuss. Tell the boss you didn't want to bring things up and agitate things.
Be professional, factual and to the point.
MrSupreme 3mo ago
It can help to remember every petty detail
Anbessa 3mo ago
When people want to argue with me, most of the time i win cause I make them sound stupid. I never realized how I did it until I read your question. Here’s how I think I do it
I twist their words? When they say something wrong, use it to show how most of what they say is false. I stay neutral. Don't get emotional, and don't have an "I don't give a fuck" attitude either. Act worried for their well-being. I keep asking questions to make them fumble. My goal is to label them as liars. When they try to change the topic, I resist. I listen to what they say and make them repeat it, even if I heard it the first time. They will fumble when repeating if you hold your frame and make it seem like they are saying something outrageous. I think it's the way I look at them. I let them talk for a lil bit and say, "Wait, wait, wait, did you just say...?" and point out how it's false. Just keep asking them questions after questions and make the topic about them. Also Gaslighting. Never getting emotional. If your sitting somewhere minding your business and someone comes and says some shit to you this trick works most of the time, Just a loud “EEEEHHHHHHHH?” will
I could list all the tricks I use, but since I use them unconsciously, it's hard to write them all down.
whytehorse2021 3mo ago
Arguing like a lawyer requires you to know the logical fallacies and how people use them to win arguments.
Durek_The_Bald 3mo ago
Objection!
No-Stress-Cat 3mo ago
I love doing this on left-wing forums where all they know how to do is argue with emotion. AITA? Every time. >:D
Impressive-Cricket-8 3mo ago
Great answers so far. Here's my two cents:
Read. A lot. A LOT. And not stupid stuff like "crypto for dummies", but literature. Read Hemingway, Kipling, Byron (yes, good poetry is good reading). Read Austen (yes, they're the standard romances, but she didn't write like a retarded ape - because that was not her public back then -, and the nuances she puts on feelings - and how women act on them - may even help you understand how people operate, oftentimes disregarding the most basic logic). Read good translations from classics - The Count of Monte Cristo, Les Misérables, The Divine Comedy. Read the russians. Good literature doesn't mean old writers, but more often than not, since they've stood the test of time, that's where you'll find them. Reading will improve your vocabulary, your capacity to create arguments on the spot, and your comprehension of what's actually going on.
If you're not the type to be able to think on your feet, learn how to avoid confrontations in real time. As some have said, ask for it to be in writing (preferably on an e-mail chain that you'll BCC to yourself, so it may become evidence if needed in the future), and take your time to address each point. Think carefully about the words you'll be using, and do not be afraid to consult a synonyms dictionary or a regular dictionary to find something better suitable to make your point.
Don't get emotional. Think of it as a mere task you have to do. Have an out if you think you can't handle yourself, if you must (I have another meeting in ten minutes; I didn't know this one would run so long), but the moment you start getting emotional is the moment you start losing focus.
If you have a few good, close friends, ask to practice debating with them. The subject doesn't matter - it's probably better if it's something absurd, not to be taken too seriously (creating colonies on the Moon, putting a human brain on a dog, whatever). Have a few beers, define who is pro and who is against the proposition, and have fun thinking about the most absurd arguments. You'll soon get the hang of it.