Why is eye contact considered an IOI? It's just normal human behavior to look around, make eye contact with people, smile as well. If random eye contact and smiles in passing was considered an IOI I must be a top level chad but that's literally just normal behavior. The only IOI in my opinion is when a girl approaches you and expresses direct interest by asking for your contact information in a daytime setting, or if it's at a bar/club setting she would approach you and be flirtatious etc.
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SSBPikkon 3mo ago
Had a friend like this, good looking, but extremely low confidence, was confused how he got so many stares; maybe you're not that confident, maybe ur good looking, but you don't think you are and they give you IOI's for you to approach. It could go well or not it depends, 1) if you approach like a coward she may change her mind and see u as a loser. 2) you approach and she gives u a shit-test, either u pass it or not. 3) you approach, have a great small talk. 4) ur her type, don't need to do that much, just don't fuck up at a critical situation and ur good.
joyboy 3mo ago
I actually have high confidence in that regard, i like what I see in the mirror, I have a strong athletic build as well so nothing to worry about there. I just have low confidence around women I want to fuck due to inexperience (I’m khhv). And like vermillion says I’m betting most of my interactions are bizarre and not socially calibrated
mattyanon Admin 3mo ago
Um.... because it is.....
Well, yes and no.
Women know that eye contact is an IOI, so women do not allow themselves to lock eyes with men they are not interested in.
Look, it's an indicator of interest. It's not 100% reliable, women are just not wired that way. Indicator. That's all.
That's not likely to happen to most men.
That's not 100% either.
You are confusing "IOI" with "FUCK ME RIGHT NOW". They are not the same. IOI is an indicator of possible interest..... locking eyes and smiling is definitely this. Even locking eyes without smiling.
This doesn't mean she's definitely single or definitely interested...... but it is an indicator of interest.
joyboy 3mo ago
Ok then assuming it is a sign of interest I’m guessing it’s context dependent as well? I started a new job recently that has me interacting with a lot of cute girls and a lot of them give the same signs, repeated deep eye contact, smiling etc but I guess that’s just them being nice cause I work there, as opposed to when it happens out in public?
mattyanon Admin 3mo ago
YES
Again, it's probably initial attraction.
DO NOT SHIT WHERE YOU EAT.
joyboy 3mo ago
You think so? You might be right cause i don’t see any other male coworkers getting that type of attention.
And it’s a min wage job i’m working for the summer, i don’t care if i lose it
Typo-MAGAshiv 2 3mo ago
You aren't calibrated on this.
Chick makes brief eye contact, facial expression remains neutral, and she looks away and doesn't look in your direction again? No interest.
Any two of more of the following combined: Sustained eye contact? Repeated eye contact? She smiles at you? She primps? She's interested.
Lionsmane8 3mo ago
Dude. Are you ok? You need help?
joyboy 3mo ago
Huh? What makes you say thst
Intrepid_Place53900 1 3mo ago
If a woman doesn't find you attractive, you are invisible.
It's that simple
joyboy 3mo ago
Not true. Sometimes girls will mess with you for validation/attention, i’ve been catcalled walking past groups of girls in public but they were probably messing with me lol
Vermillion-Rx Admin 3mo ago
What universe do you live in where women approach men as a normal social practice?
No wonder you're having a hard time. You don't even understand women at a basic social norms level
joyboy 3mo ago
I've been approached a few times that way just out and about at campus or at the mall. Didn't lead to anything though cause I didn't know how to escalate it from there
Vermillion-Rx Admin 3mo ago
It's not the norm dude.
Women often make eye contact because it is socially abnormal for women to do approaches, women are not expected to approach men in most cultures, and because men do the approaching anyway
Women will preen their hair, sustain eye contact, etc. because it is a safe, rejection-free way to Garner male attention for him to have the green light to approach
I'm not sure why you are so confused about basics. You need friends
Lionsmane8 3mo ago
He needs therapy
joyboy 3mo ago
Isn’t therapy bluepilled? I dont think it would help much
Lionsmane8 3mo ago
You need a psychiatrist, not a psychologist
joyboy 3mo ago
What’s the difference ?
Kloi 3mo ago
Women will physically bump into you five time in 90 minutes at a venue and not say a fucking word. Then tell their friends how she was dropping all these hints and he just wouldn't bite.
Vermillion-Rx Admin 3mo ago
Right but OP isn't talking about that he is living in a world where women overtly approach while probably missing the signs
Kloi 3mo ago
I was in agreement with you. Women's idea of being straight forward with men is to physically place themselves by a guy they're interested in multiple times in a night and not saying a damn word.
Do women approach men? Occasionally and typically they're whores, ugly and after something more than dick.
Vermillion-Rx Admin 3mo ago
Oh my bad. And yeah I agree. Some women might approach if you're their exact type and they don't want to lose the chance without being a whore etc but I would wager that is exceedingly rare
joyboy 3mo ago
Not really imo nowadays a lot of men don’t approach cause of all the cancel / creep culture on social media so it’s becoming more common for women to approach guys they’re interested in.
Vermillion-Rx Admin 3mo ago
You're delusional.
Musicgoon78 1 3mo ago
IOI's are the most misunderstood concept. Mix in magical thinking and a general misunderstanding of any social cues and you'll get guys thinking eye contact is an IOI.
A bold and decisive guy doesn't need IOIs.
redhawkes 2 3mo ago
Because retards like you don’t understand that 90% of communication is nonverbal. Yes, prolonged eye contact is an IOI.
Even if you’re top Chad, women will rarely approach, but put themselves in your vicinity so you can approach. Get off the instagram cringe train..
joyboy 3mo ago
Dude she could be looking at you for a 100 reasons, you could have seemed familiar to her, you have something on your face, etc.. It doesn’t mean she’s interested in your dick
redhawkes 2 3mo ago
Dude, you're just too socially retarded even for this forum.. No bitch will look at you repeatedly, let alone stand next to you and act all retarded if she's not interested. You're just too far gone with the computer touching disease.
You can make 1000 excuses to spare your ego, but pussy won't fall on your dick,
joyboy 3mo ago
I’m doing the opposite of sparing my ego? i’m being realistic. If “prolonged eye contact” or girls randomly coming and standing next to me was an IOI I must be tom cruise level cause it happens every time I leave the house.
redhawkes 2 3mo ago
Either that or, you're a Chernobyl grotesque, which I doubt.
How about next time you see it happening, actually go and make some bullshit banter.
joyboy 3mo ago
Idk what to say. last time i tried approaching i asked about a book she was reading and then my mind went blank
MrSupreme 3mo ago
Eye contact and body language are used to communicate before,during and after verbal communication. Eye contact is definitely an IOI, even if they just wanna check out your hair or something
whytehorse2021 3mo ago
I wrote a bunch about this in my book. Eye contact is a form of communication. There is a countable measure of time to do it, a context to do it, a social purpose, etc. Too long to go into on a post. https://www.amazon.com/Social-Autist-Autists-Allocentric-Universe-ebook/dp/B09JSQ42TR
Problematic_Browser 1 3mo ago
I can't stand PUA talk, but any man who doesn't learn how body language works is missing 70% of interpersonal communication.
TheRedPike Senior Endorsed 3mo ago
It isn't eye contact; it's repetition of eye contact. It's how they try to draw your attention to them.