I posted here a few months ago. After my ex and I broke up after many years. I have been struggling but trying to move forward
I have been dating other women. I live in Berlin, Germany. So there are plenty of single women and there are many single dating events that occur in the city. I’ve been on many dates but they go nowhere. I am still hurt and have feelings for my ex. So I’m not really myself. I’ve met some really good male friends at these events so it’s not too bad. I have started attended church again. Helps me find some peace.
Me and my ex have been in contact. But she is very confused. Very hot and cold. I am not sure what to do. But I would like one chance with her
Post breakup
- 2 weeks after break up. I message her. She tells me she doesn’t want to work things out. And it’s over. She is hurt and can’t forgive me. She tell me not to contact her
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4 weeks after breakup. She text me asking if we got back together how would things change. After I answer. She later says, as much as I love you I don’t want us to work out.
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June - she calls me. Saying she is missing me and is scared that I’m gone forever. She asks if we can go for a coffee. We meet up it goes well. A few days later she asks if she can stay with me. To try and sort all the issues. We go on a few dates during this time. We even kiss. But she is emotionally closed off. I can tell she is still hurt, angry and upset at me. I tell her let’s take it slow. She leaves and while she was driving past my apartment. She see me by the door and blows a kiss to me
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July - I text her. She says she is too hurt, angry and doesn’t trust me. A few days later she calls to she how much she misses me. She doesn’t understand why she is so confused.
- This week. I call her to catch up. She again says she wants nothing to do with me. She says she loves me and cares but she can’t trust me. She is too hurt. She tell me not to contact her again
What should I do? I do really want to make things work. It seems although she cares and loves me. She is afraid of getting hurt again. She is trying to force herself to move on. In truth I believe it’s making her even more miserable and hurt more.
I am not even sure, she said a few times it’s over don’t contact me. Yet she changes her mind. She seems to be really struggling
Lionsmane8 1mo ago
She loves you. It feels good.
But understand something. Not all women are made for relationships. That is why they actively sabotage good relationships.
Some of them even enjoy the emotional turmoil and torture.
Just remembber to be an oak tree, or the eye of the storm.
She'll go crazy, and she'll love it.
But don't take her back as a relstionship. She can be a lover/plate, but her chance at getting a stable relationship with you is gone. She blew it, and being hot & cold is only burying it deeper into the ground.
whytehorse2021 1mo ago
Sounds like ONEITIS. "She's the one, the only one, forever and for always". Nah bro, she's one out of 4 billion. Probably a HB6, thinks she can do better, treats you like crap, etc. Go get an HB10 ride-or-die chick. That's what you deserve. Once you do that, she'll come crawling back and you'll be like "nah, I'm good".
Vermillion-Rx Admin 1mo ago
You had a very long relationship heading to marriage. It's going to take time to heal, it's understandable that YOU yourself are confused. Keep holding strong. This will NOT get better with her. You need to hold the line and keep moving on.
She is manipulating you to reconsider when she is a shit ex/shit prospect for anything. For the love of God do not give her another chance and let yourself heal fully and forget about her
There are so many outright reasons this will become an absolutely horrible marriage if you give her another chance. God forbid you also knock up this trainwreck later, which she will also manipulate you to do. Keep ejecting from this shit show while you can, you will find better
Stop caring about her tears. It's a tool designed to make you feel bad and control you
She's 99.9999% doing something untrustworthy herself. Bail
Wartortle This Guy Follows Advice 1mo ago
Thanks for you reply brother. But it’s very hard to forget her. When I go on dates. All I can think is about her.
It’s more my tears. I miss so much. I feel disappointed in myself. Why did I not just give her the love and attention she needed
Durek_The_Bald 1mo ago
Gay.
Vermillion-Rx Admin 1mo ago
This is horseshit. You gave her that. She is a stupid immature hoe that was unwilling to drive 20 minutes to see family and demanded you live further from work
You are going to have a painfully shitty marriage with even worse problems if you give her another chance to prove how bad of a partner she was
Einsamer 1mo ago
Yes, this is your brain. The chemicals make it so that you take care of the future kids. Don't worry, it will go away with a bit of time. And quicker if you find a new good match for you.
MrSupreme 1mo ago
I think I vaguely remember your post from a while ago.Listen,if you have to convince someone to be with you and try to win over her acceptance,you're gonna throw away little by little all the respect she has for you.Have some self respect and self esteem, ditch the bitch forever,it Is done,deal with it. Find a woman that is not confused and positively wants your company. That relationship is done and she is definitely playing with you.
Also,you're giving way too much weight to what she says, I'm not saying she's a liar(right) bit you gotta watch what she does instead of listening to her yap about her feelings.
Wartortle This Guy Follows Advice 1mo ago
I am trying to move on. Date other women. But I just can’t let her go. I dream of all the happiness we had.
When you mean to much weight on what she said. Do you mean about when she says don’t contact me. Yet she is the one who seems to contact me most of the time?
MrSupreme 1mo ago
I mean read her emotional state when she talks, more than listening to what she says.Youre very emotional right now so you're in her domain,and frame. Your issue right now is not finding other women to go out with, it's not keeping your distance from your ex. Those days are gone and you're living in the past,let her go bro,it's what's better for you