To give context, I recently was with a girl showing high interest (ex. responding instantly, buying me stuff, and really pushing to see me all the time). Sadly things didn't work out (due to my own failings), so I am in a bit of a dry spell right now (also due to life circumstances, don't want to get doxxed).
Here's my dilemma, there's another girl takes a full business day to respond to my messages. She's interesting, and definitely an "upgrade" from my last girl. However, I genuinely cannot be asked to put effort if it's not high interest.
I want to drop her, but I'm not so sure if it's the right call. Am I being too choosy, or should I be lowering my standards here? My logic and gut wants to follow the "top option" theory and just withdraw / next, but I'm feeling a bit unsure if this is the correct choice.
liftheavystuff 4mo ago
Yeah I dunno I think for the girls that are clearly damaged either by lack of parents (specifically father, but mother too) and high body count (aka the ones you shouldn't be taking seriously anyway), the best strategy is usually toxic indifference. The better ones, usually you treat better but still indifferent in the beginning. Learn from my mistakes.
Lionsmane8 4mo ago
Abundance.
3 days ago I told a girl I picked up "you're boring me" and moved on. And she was really, really attractive.
I know there is a better one around the corner. There always is.
Vermillion-Rx Admin 4mo ago
You're not her top option
TulioHumanos 4mo ago
As I thought. Gonna follow this.
No-Stress-Cat 4mo ago
You forgot to add, "BLAM! BITCH!"
Not that I'm saying OP is a bitch, but that kind of a response deserves an indiscriminate "BLAM! BITCH!"
TulioHumanos 4mo ago
I'm gonna be real here. I was being a bitch. Should've trusted my instincts here.
Lone_Ranger 2 4mo ago
There are plenty of reasons why a woman might take 'a full business day' to respond.
I would simply respond by doubling the time that you take to respond to her.
Quick question: the first woman you mentioned - were you turned off by her interest in you? Why is the new girl an upgrade vs the first girl? Tell us why
TulioHumanos 4mo ago
Honestly for the first girl, we'll never know. My guess is I just lost frame. New girl is just hotter and more interesting (mostly just hotter).
Lone_Ranger 2 4mo ago
women don't need to be interesting.
Interesting is a masculine trait. Good women can be kind of boring. What you really want from a woman is a partner with which to raise children. So 'interesting' is not the aim. You want loyal, kind, good habits and behaviours, caring, patient. You want good genes, great mental health. You are going to need a woman that is good with children and will make good children. Interesting??? shouldn't even be on your radar.
Interesting can be supplied by other guy friends, by your work, by your social network. YOu can read interesting books.
Anything else is getting in the way. The entire point of women is procreation and the creation of a stable family unit with which to raise children. There is no other purpose.
Lionsmane8 4mo ago
I'll take pretty & obedient over interesting & annoying any time of the year.
Both men and women are aghast by my words.
Lone_Ranger 2 4mo ago
I'm with you.
What you want from a woman is
everything else is just icing on the cake. Doesn't really matter that much
pofkaf 4mo ago
Have you two fucked yet? If not, then you can't even "next" her. You can't "next" a woman who isn't in your rotation. Because for all you know, she has already nexted you!
Ask the chick on a date. If she declines or bumbles around with excuses, then move on. But if you can get her out, then escalate and go from there.
Vermillion-Rx Admin 4mo ago
This. Dudes be not even trying to escalate waiting for women to choke on their rod unprompted without ever trying to go for them.
[deleted] 4mo ago
[--removed--]
Musicgoon78 2 4mo ago
Why don't you have more options? If you were out spinning plates this wouldn't even be a question.
If she takes a day to respond, fine. Use that time to talk to and fuck other women. Don't sit around wondering when to "next".
There's nothing to next right now. You're placing yourself in the "important" category with this woman, when she barely cares about seeing you.
Don't lower your standards for a FWB. Your standards can vary for plates.
First-light 4mo ago
Just do what feels right. Obviously don't over invest but equally don't throw away something unless you know its not worth it. If seeing her is making you happier than seeing no one, see her, if its not, don't. Provided you don't overinvest, it needs no more thought than this.
MrSupreme 4mo ago
If you're gonna keep trying with her then it's time for push-pull. You've been keeping interest, she takes too long to reply.Send her one last text,casual as fuck, then take a few days to reply,maybe a week even.