So you're basically saying that you do not feel like a man outside of fucking.

This is a mental thing. Obviously get rid of your religious bias and beliefs, or at least update them based on red pill modern reality in 2024, not 630.

Religion will kill your libido, sexuality and identity like nothing else, specially if you grew up indoctrinated. Religion and Church are not your friends in 2024, but not your enemies either.

Start doing things that make you feel more manly. Gym, unapologetically checking out chicks that you find attractive, not like a fucking creep, but you know, the manly way.

You have heavy sexual shame. This is all because of your religious indoctrination background. Religion makes you gay if you let it. Most religious guys are closet gays and porn addicted wankers because of their repressed sexuality. This does not have to be you.

Move the fuck out of your environment if this takes a toll on you.

This doesn't make any sense.

Maybe you're gay? Yes, I'm being serious here.

This is fucking retarded.

So let me get this straight: You want to explore sexually. You have a girl that you're fucking and you want to fuck more women. You have lust and and feel sexual when you're having sex. But you don't feel sexual when you're doing non sexual shit... We call that normal.

What kind of problem do you want to have? We can make up some bullshit that's more reasonable for you to bitch about. This problem is not a valid one. Try again.

I personally think you're looking into it too deeply.

Society has evolved to not act out our primitive desires publicly, otherwise we'd all be having sex and killing prey out in the open like wild animals. We've evolved past our caveman times and now we do these things behind closed doors lol.

Are you talking about feeling masculine when you say "sexuality?

I am thinking that sex is just one part of a man's identity and that it doesn't really make sense if it takes over all he does. You can't be a walking hard on -at least not more than the odd moment when its appropriate. No animal can be thinking about mating all the time. To do so would be become very vulnerable and would actually stop it being successful in life.

So becoming sexy in bed suggests sex is being enjoyed at the right time but did she mean that you simply were not coming over as attractive, as positively masculine when you were out of bed? If so that is probably about feeling and projecting your masculine energy more. This usually happens when we enjoy our masculine energy more, when we simply feel glad to be a man.

If you have been raised in a conservative religious house you are usually raised to be very self controlled. This is partly because you were always taught to walk the straight path, not to invoke the anger of god and not to stray -basically surah al-fatiha in all you do. It is also partly because when you discover you are a rebel religiously and don't want to walk the straight path between religion's electric fences, you then you become self contained and know you have to keep your heart secret from your family or you will upset them.

I think most of us are most attractive when we are ourselves and project our own energy positively. This can be harder for one who was raised in a strict religious house -when to let it all out and when to keep it all in. Oddly the path of moderation is actually the right path here but if one has grown up keeping it all in one is not calibrated for moderation only fast or feast.

One also has to consider why one's parents were so attracted to religion. Is it something innate about liking to control oneself. How much of that strength/weakness has one inherited? What to do about that?

One suggestion I would make is learning to do and say what you like -with moderation. Being true to yourself in a way that is balanced, situationally appropriate but authentic. This can be quite hard if one has grown up looking to outside rules to regulate oneself by or to hide from. In excess religion you are are basically a slave with all a salve's weakness and vices but with the consolation that you are protected by a powerful master who will reward you. You need to become the master yourself. You need to feel sovereign in your life as a man. No king lasts long if he just does as he pleases but he is sovereign and holds the power of decision and action in everything he does. You need to practise feeling in control of your masculinity, not either holding it in check or letting it run wild. This tends to make you maximise how sexy you are.