I've been working hard on myself and am now in a situation I've always wanted: sleeping with multiple younger attractive girls. I'm 34, missed out on fucking around in my teens/20s, so I'm having that phase now while I'm living/traveling abroad.
I have a FWB for several months I see weekly, another new girl I'm starting to sleep with, and continuing to cold approach regularly. I'm perfectly happy with ONS that I then try to turn into FWB if I find the girl attractive/interesting enough.
Thing is, I know most of these girls want a relationship. They're too scared to say it straight up but they frequently talk about it indirectly (like why am I not good enough for a relationship, am I not pretty, calling me a playboy, etc.).
Should I tell them straight up to dispel any notions of a relationship? I think it's already clear from my actions that I'm not looking for a GF because I avoid romantic dates and mostly invite over to my place or go to a bar/club first, have sex every time we meet, etc.
As a related question, I feel kinda bad, like I'm wasting their time. I genuinely enjoy spending time with certain women and have stayed in touch with some who are traveling, living in a different country, etc. But I'm not ready for a relationship because I have too much shit I want to get done first and still want to enjoy fucking around.
Would appreciate any advice and perspective.
mattyanon Admin 1w ago
Sure, and I want a yacht and a trillion dollars.
They're not too scared.
They are playing the odds....... and they do this by fucking attractive guys and hoping for commitment. Even without commitment, they'll still get the hot sex they want.
Yes and no.
BEHAVE like you're not a relationship guy....... at least a week between seeing them, don't text daily, don't keep repeatedly committing to new dates, be "busy" a lot of the time.
She'll get the idea.
Right, good.
Ehhhhhh????
There's nothing to feel bad about, you're not lying. Girls know how the game works better than you do and earlier and they play it ruthlessly. They're not even losing..... they might want a relationship, but as I said at the start..... sure, and I want a yacht, round the clock blowjobs and a harem of hot girls with no vocal chords.
Right
Be honest, and ultimately if it comes to it you can agree an "open relationship"...... but you need to make clear that it's not going to be "her plus others", it's going to be "seeing multiple girls". This loses you 50% of girls, but the other half will go along with it - at least for a while.
Nothing works forever, but exclusive doesn't usually lost long either.
redhawkes 2 2w ago
You're still wet behind the ears bro. Relationship stuff is not man's prerogative. Don't lie or promise shit, tho, or do, the game is amoral.
If they start bitching, just tell them you're open to everything with the right person blahblah
You've just started to get success. The pill is extended release, you can't just crush it up and snort it. Don't let the guilt trip fuck up your game. You don't owe anyone a shit.
Vermillion-Rx Admin 2w ago
Dunking aside you don't seem to understand much beyond getting laid. Just tell them you aren't looking for anything when it comes up. They chose to fuck you without much or any commitment (unless of course you lie to get laid).
It's not your problem. Their mothers and grandmothers before them protested and fought for sleeping around without having to date or have a boyfriend first. It's their own fault if they chase tingles before assessing if you'll commit or not.
Typo-MAGAshiv 2 2w ago
Not your problem.
How many women did you waste time, money, effort, attention, etc on only to get LJBFed or similar?
Just like buying those other women dinner or whatever didn't mean that they owed your sex, these women giving you sex doesn't mean you owe them a relationship.
Well, men aren't vending machines into which you insert sex tokens until a relationship falls out. - I think @lurkerhasarisen coined that response at WAATGM a few years ago.
Reread HumanSockPuppet’s Guide to Managing Your Bitches from the sidebar.
lurkerhasarisen 1 1w ago
Indeed I did.
Typo-MAGAshiv 2 1w ago
You've thrown some gold around over the years
lurkerhasarisen 1 1w ago
… AND SUM V-CARDS!
Musicgoon78 1 1w ago
Don't give women a reason to not fuck you. Saying overtly that you're not looking for anything serious is a very bad move. It like putting a big neon sign about your head that says. "All women turn and run". You might as well be a leper at that point.
When you state this overtly you are qualifying yourself to women. You shouldn't be selling yourself to a woman, she should be selling herself to you. This is all about having a strong frame.
I imagine 99% of the girls I've dated or actively fucked wanted me to put a ring on it. The idea sounded absolutely fucking horrendous to me.
My LTR busted her ass and worked harder than you can believe to get to where she is right now. Your job is to assess if a woman has earned the right to be by your side or meet your family. If the thought repulses you or just doesn't settle right. She has to work harder. She hasn't earned her spot yet.
I would suggest going into everything new with an open mind and no expectations. You don't owe anyone an explanation. If you are feeling an LTR go for it, if you want to just bang hoes until your dying days, that perfectly fine as well. Don't let some chick pressure you into anything. You do what you want, when you want to do it on your timeline. Its simply not up for discussion.
Just like you can't negotiate sexual desire, you shouldn't be negotiating relationship desire. If you don't desire it, that's it. It's not happening unless you truly want it.
Hopefully that makes sense...?
Lone_Ranger 2 1w ago
at 34, you are just about getting started on your pussy slaying career. If you want to, you can continue slaying up to 50s and beyond. My experience was that the power balance shifts dramatically after 34. Women are throwing their panties at you by 42, and by 50, if you are not fat, single, in reasonable shape, have OK game, able to hold a conversation...its like being a celebrity.
To your question...
why do you need to bother to say what you want? Just let them decide what they want. You are not wasting their time, they are wasting their time. If a woman is single at 34, with no kids, then she has made a career out of 'wasting her time'. You are not the cause of her time wasting.
PS. when a woman 'accuses' you of being a playboy (or womanisers or man-slut or whatever phrase they use), she is complimenting you. What they don't want is incels. Or nice guys.
Lone_Ranger 2 1w ago
Here's the thing:
If you are not looking for an LTR, she will know. And that is the entire reason that she is attracted to you - because you are a pussy slaying chad. In their own fucked up minds, they are only attracted to men that get lots of pussy, and are entirely unsuited to LTRs.
Deep down they feel guilty about this, and will often ask you questions like -
They know that you're not interested in an LTR. but they want to hang on to the plausible deniability. They want to be able to say in a few years time that they had been led on - that someone else was to blame for their poor dating decisions.
give them what they want.
lurkerhasarisen 1 1w ago
There’s a scene from the movie “Oppenheimer” in which the core group of guys is eyeballing a group of women walking by. (They all end up working together on the Enigma project, but that scene is the first time they all see each other.). One of the guys is a Chad, and one of the girls is obviously attracted to him. The Chad leans over to his mates and says something along the lines of, “ She looks like she wants to do something she’ll regret later.”
The BP misunderstanding of that line is that she likes him, and that he thinks he can seduce her into having sex, and she’ll regret it later when she doesn’t get what she “really” wants (a relationship).
The RP understanding is that she’ll put out because she wants to have sex with him because she instinctively knows that he’s a Chad. Sure… she’ll tell herself that she’s the girl he will marry some day, but at some level she understands that she’s lying to herself. So his words should be understood to mean that she’ll eagerly “let herself be seduced” (faux passivity on her part) despite knowing that she’ll regret it later when he moves on.
Lone_Ranger 2 1w ago
Absolute great example.
I would go even further: I would say that the reason she wants the chad is because he is so unsuitable and is the man in the group that has the highest propensity to treat her badly.
A chad that is a womaniser / pussy slayer / man slut is the most attractive man of all (to women). Women want sperm from the most promiscuous man that they can find - which is totally logical - they want their own offspring to be as promiscuous as possible as well .The only point of sex is reproduction and in particular gene transmission.
This is why they find incels so unattractive.
This is probably the biggest mistake that BP thinking men make - they think that a 'bad reputation' is going to hurt their chances in the dating market. This is stupidest thing I have ever heard.
It's the equivalent of a woman being afraid that her reputation as a virgin is going to put men off marrying her.
Men want women with as little sexual experience as possible - with women, its the other way around.
First-light 1w ago
I think this is a question that only you can answer.
Being upfront will reduce the number of women you are successful with.
Women are far from upfront themselves. Women love a good situationship -it makes them feel safe, protected, valued but they are not thinking past medium term. A boyfriend while I am abroad/ at university/ working in another town for a year/ can't find Mr Right is just what they want. They will probably cash him in but they don't have to. This is a giant waste of a man's time but a girl likes to have safe options. That is what a situationship is. A safe option. How many of these girls could be realistically long term with you purely on logistics of who is living/ working where?
But if something inside you is pushing you enough to ask the question on a public forum, if you feel regret at wasting some of their time, maybe you should find a way to be a little more upfront with some of them. In the end you want to enjoy your encounters and avoid awkwardness and regret. A man should listen to his moral compass.
That said human mating is an inherently selfish business carried out by a very socially responsible animal. Its full of tensions and contradictions in terms of altruism.