I'm still wageslaving but I think Entrepreneurs in cars on Youtube gives good advice.

There are so many things to do to become a good leader but from my personal experience, interpersonal skills and the ability to spot bullshit is key. People will try to brown nose and suck up to you because of your position and buying into the bullshit, treating people unfairly because you are being lied to can cause good employees to quit

As a small business owner I know how you feel. You become very good at doing it yourself. No one is likely ever to do it better than you. Its your business, so you do it with love, you do it with effort and you know it inside out. No one will ever match that but you have to find people you can delegate to if you are to grow.

Choose your men well. Yes avoid women. Really women are not a good idea unless its a traditional feminine role and even then I would be very wary. You do not need someone with more rights than you, more hormonal issues, who may reproduce working for your money you. My brother has had many problems employing female receptionists. The last one (post wall) wanted to take him to court for sexual harassment. She asked what was so interesting on his phone. He was in a chat with his tennis mate. A joke had arrived that he had not opened. Since they both knew the guy he opened it with her watching. It was not explicitly sexual but it had heavy breathing on it. She told my brother's wife that it was not the sort of thing she would have cared at all if a woman or a male colleague of equal rank had shown her but because a man in a position of power had done so, she felt violated. In the end they just paid her to not come in for a year till she retired. The present receptionist is a Jehova's witness man. Always smartly dressed and polite. No problems at all.

Deliver value to your men. This means pay them well and give them a happy environment. Learn about how they work and talk to them in ways they will understand. Everyone is different here but you have a small business, you have the luxury of getting to know your men well. When you correct them, know how that guy is bets corrected and motivated. Some occasionally need a bollocking, some need to be given an honourable way out of having to crawl to you.

When choosing people remember that the kind of employee who is gold dust in a small business is a guy who is good but lacks something required to be running his own small business. The next best guy is the guy who is young and keen and will soon be running his own small business. He performs heaps better from the get go and learns heaps faster but he will be gone shortly after you train him. The ugly duckling may be the better man long term as he will be loyal but here its all about his character. He needs just to be a solid non ambitious guy with good morals (usually form good family). The kind of man who never takes a day off sick and is always on time. Pay this man better than average and he will stay with you through thick and thin. Avoid anyone chaotic.

Don't worry about leadership worry about growing your biz as fast as you can. Anyone who needs "leadership" is not an early stage employee you want anyway. Hire people who have experience contracting for themselves, freelancing, etc - something that proves they can make progress on their own without handholding. I've founded and run multiple startups, some funded some bootstrapped, I've been in charge of startup after startup for 15 years, and my experience tells me you're getting too abstract with this leadership stuff. Explore why you think leadership is important, figure out what your real need is, and solve it directly. Because an early stage startup doesn't need leadership it needs results only. If an employee isn't performing at this stage replace them ASAP, you can't afford to get sucked into whatever psychological BS is keeping them from being productive. Fire fast, rehire fast. Keep your mind on the concrete problems that are directly between you and the money, nothing abstract, nothing demure. DO NOT hire friends or family, you need to be able to cut off any work relationship the moment it's unprofitable at this early stage of the biz.

Look up command presence on youtube. Aside from that lead by example. I had upwards of 12 employees and would be right there with them getting my hands dirty side-by-side. They could see me doing the job right, how quickly I got it done, and my results. Once they could beat me at my own standard, I paid a little more or put them on lead. Also go read 48 laws of power so you don't get screwed over.