So basically as i mentioned in older post i was very socially inept, somebody told me that i should just let the other person do the majority of the talking by asking a lot of questions

urgh ok.

People hate being asked questions, and most people aren't comfortable doing all the talking.

Learn to talk about things that interest YOU.

Talk in statements. Make statements that elicit them talking too. Asking questions is bad, unattractive and weak.

its like im contacting an interview,

Yes, because you ask questions. Don't do this.

Start taking a few risks. I don't mean try to show off, I mean just say something you are interested in or something you think they might be interested in. Don't worry if the conversation does not flow in a linear way. When you hear good converstionalists in action, they often jump about in topics but they always speak like their heart is in it. They speak with enthusiasm for what they are saying -positive, negative, sarcastic or ironic -they speak like they back it and they speak like they are enthusiastic about the person they are talking to.

I know it can be hard connecting and being actually interested,but you gotta try it,getting in touch with your emotions and their emotions as well. It is not just about the content of the conversation, that's when it becomes an interview with just questions and answers. Actually talk about emotions,if you're talking about something you lived,like skydiving for example,you wanna explain emotions and sensory stimuli, "you felt thrilled and the wind was all up In your face and your ass and your hands,and you felt fucking free and scared as hell then you opened the parachute and slowed down, it all became quiet and soothing, watching the horizon at that height was beautiful, you had to hold back a tear."

It sounds way more exciting than, "yeah so I tried skydiving,it was fun and scary cant wait to do it again".

You wanna connect with people then you gotta use emotions,sensorial information and creating a rapport helps a bunch too.Not easy but the more you practice it the more you'll feel in tune with what you're doing.Sadly,for some it kind of develops a momentum , you stop chatting up people for 2 weeks and you may feel you "lost it" ,but it would just require some warming up and practice.

VRX In-Depth, Fundamental Conversation Skills Guide

By being genuinely interested in the other person, then letting your personality flow through.

Remember: This Convo doesnt have to go anywhere. It doesn't have to turn into anything. Have fun with it

You should also contribute to a convo. Don't be afraid to show your passions. This is more for an informal/friend gathering/group rather than walking to strangers.

I know you heard idiots, autists, gymcels and finance bros tell you "MAN BUT YOU GOTTA LET THEM TALK", well guess what, if you are in your 20s, people fucking suck. They are so boring and socially inept because of their generation and the pandemic lockdowns that they need a few seconds to think when you ask what their names are.

So you can actually introduce some interesting parts/hobbies/stories about yourself to the conversation. DON'T make everything about them, because it is so so easy to come off as weak and a people pleaser.

And also, IT IS NOT YOUR JOB to hold a conversation. Most people suck and are literally useful idiots to be killed in the AI Revolution. The age of Boomer/Gen X socializing is over.

It takes two or more for a conversation to take place. If it sucks or goes nowhere, don't blame yourself. 9/10 they are just boring, uninterested, awkward or they simply just suck. Move on with your life.

Also, the attention span is limited with everyone now. Social skills are dying and people have no incentive to get better at it. So don't hope anything from a conversation. Social skills don't get you really that far today, used to be the other way around. But, they are worth having since you don't know where they can take you, even with a small chance.

Her: "So, tell me something about yourself."
Me: I knew a guy once who got drunk and fucked a yak.