This girl I've been with for around 2 years now has recently been asking nonstop if I've fucked other women (outside of the one ex she knows of) kissed other women, xyz. she'll even ask while we fuck. I kinda shrug this stuff off because its old and I don't see the point in giving rankings and shit (she asks me who is the funniest/freakiest xyz), and I dont speak about these women. I just let her talk herself in circles, cause she was on a rant about how dumb she is for believing me when I said i only had sex with one other women (I never said otherwise, I just avoid the topic.) She even has started to ask me about this girl who follows me on social media way before we started dating, wondering who she is to me. I was just gonna let her mind spin cause I dont care or ask her about these topics so it shouldn't matter. Whenever it comes up I just fuck it out of her but she'll ask day to day, lately.
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Musicgoon78 2 3mo ago
You need to tell her that the discussion is over and you're getting tired of it.
Everyone has a past. She's bringing the past into the future. The future is for growth and new opportunities. If she wants to stay stuck in the past she can visit there by herself.
Be direct about where you want to go. If she doesn't respect your boundaries it's time for a soft next. Even if it's mid sex, stop. Tell her to get dressed and send her packing or leave.
She shouldn't be comfortable with ruining your time together and holding the dominant frame. Put a stop to this shit.
Vermillion-Rx Admin 3mo ago
For #1 simply saying "no I'm not fucking other women" isn't necessarily a comfort test pass. It SHOULD be but women invent stories in their head sometimes. this one seems kind of loopy. But seriously asking you if you've ever passed one or if it's just a direct answer.
Some times you need pass one of these comfort tests good and hard. It's unclear why she is so anxious about it. Hard for me to say. But if it keeps going on you need to shut it down with assertiveness, not comfort.
notdoingcoke 3mo ago
I just laugh them off. we talked bout this already so I dont entertain her cries. I dont want to give her the response she thinks she wants (no I haven't fucked xyz) so I just let her spin herself into madness. SMV difference, I couldn't tell you for real. She gets a lot of male attention, I get a lot of female attention but im more on the low-key side of things. I sit in the background and end up talking to bitches, I was never out there like that. She was always coveted even in high school when we were friends. Sexy body and face, but I dont really pay attention to the SMV stuff too much, I don't care for leagues.
I dont even tell her I love her. I tell her every now and then when we fucking, so thats me passing a comfort test, thats all I got. Im not just very emotionally out there like that. I'll buy her things at random times, just cause I feel the want to do so. But I never was really concerned with her comfort too much, I just do and say what I want to and it sticks. Daddy issues blah blah blah so even when im mad or whatever she likes it. im kind of ranting but you get the idea, she loves the rudeness/dominance/dgaf whatever attitude. I was a more on the beta side with her to start the relationship and it was turning her off bad (checked her phone just to see who I was dealing with, she doesn't know) and I was still recovering over my last relationship. I just needed some time to get right.
whytehorse2021 3mo ago
Like he said, it's a comfort test. Learn how to pass them. You'll get them each month after the proliferative phase of ovulation unless you figure out a way to regularly comfort her(I sleep naked with my wife once/month and we snuggle).
MrSupreme 3mo ago
Yell at her or something, she's annoying."IM NOT FUCKING ANYONE ELSE,IVE FUCKED THEM ALL ALREADY STOP NAGGING AND MAKE ME A SANDWICH "
Lone_Ranger 2 3mo ago
Hmmm. Interesting.
It doesn't sound like a problem to me. It sounds like she gets off on the idea of you fucking other women. I've had a few girlfriends like this.
One thing I would try is this: next time she brings it up during sex, just really go with it - tell her 'Yeah... this one time I met a woman at work and she came home with me, and as soon as she got in my house, she knelt down and tied up her hair, so I pulled out my........" give it some extra spice. See what happens. She will almost certainly come very quickly.
After the sex, just tell her you made up the story in order to make her cum. Tell her you realise its just a fantasy for her, and that you do actually only love her, but you respect her kink and can play along with it.
This is probably the safest form of dread for a woman.... you don't actually fuck other women, but she gets to imagine it. I've known women that really really get off on this fantasy. The trick is to never use real people, people that you both know - just make up some scenario. If its slightly unrealistic, its easier to convince her afterwards that you just made it up. NEVER use an ex girlfriend. NEVER admit that you want to fuck one of her friends or some real person.
Honestly bro, you don't have a problem. She has a 'chad fantasy' and she wants to believe that you are chad. She is probably getting the ick from all your fidelity (you've been with her for 2 years) so she needs to hear about you fucking other hot chicks.
notdoingcoke 3mo ago
its funny cause she is that type. the thought of me fucking another woman turns her on and makes her jealous at the same time. The whole relationship I been pretty emotionally unavaliable and hot cold. Not purposely, I just dont put much stock in relationships. She's been chasing my love for the vast majority of the relationship. I was overly into my last ex and got cheated on so I just swore I'd tone it down.
To get back to your advice tho, I do this. Sometimes I'll tell her how im gonna fuck a bitch the same way im fucking her in that moment, and make the gf watch. It gets her pussy wet as hell when I talk about other women when im fucking her.
Lone_Ranger 2 3mo ago
Cool, my diagnosis was correct.
If you play this well, it can be a great asset - she gets to feel that you are chad, and experiences jealousy and dread.
She may get a little narky and annoyed with you outside of the bedroom, as this kind of jealousy play can create dark shadows in the life outside of sex. If she is getting narky and snappy with you, just bring it up - you could say
"Hey, I see that you are upset - and I think I know whats' bothering you - its because you are feeling jealous and hurt because I was telling you kinky stuff about me fucking other women last time we had sex - and now you're mad at me - darling, its only a fantasy - I only said that stuff to get you off... so come over here and give me a kiss and be a good girl" then give her some warmth and affection, then pat her on the ass and tell her to go make you a sandwich.
Women want men that are not only masters of their own emotions, but master of her emotions as well. This is what real submissive behaviour is like - you can be kind and nice, induldge her fantasies, and then give her reassurance when she feels jealous. It puts you in charge, and she will love that. What women most want, IMHO, is a kindly dictator.
notdoingcoke 3mo ago
The kind dictator part is so true. Nice writeup
Lone_Ranger 2 3mo ago
Yep. You could even call it a 'benevolent dictator'
You have to remember that a womans first love is always their father. And a father, if he is doing the right thing, will behave like a kind dictator.
So, many people get this wrong - they think that women are looking for a father figure - but what they are really looking for is a kindly dictator.
And the spergs of this world will never understand - they end up acting like some gay bestie, and give their girl the ick.
[deleted] 3mo ago
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No-Stress-Cat 3mo ago
I'd just turn her ass over and shove her face into the pillow if anything other than a moan comes out.
Lone_Ranger 2 3mo ago
...and then plunge the pork sword into her barking spider.