Third date, went well, but I'll let you guys judge from an external perspective.
We start off with a hug, and besides that, I'd like to point out that she took a 40-minute train ride to come see me.
As mentioned, the date starts with a hug, then I take her for a walk just to chat a bit. I avoid boring questions and, in some cases, prefer silence (to avoid saying stupid shit since I know I'm a bit slow).
We take a stroll, I bring her to some clothing stores she wants to check out, but I soon realize I’m getting bored, so I decide to take us to a bar.
Here’s the first point: I don’t know why I didn’t think to take her to a bar from the start. This bored me to the point where I finally realized I should be the one making decisions, not her.
One thing I definitely need to improve is talking to more girls and being able to sustain longer conversations, because after a while, we started talking about things that were too deep, and it brought her mood down.
Moving on with the story:
Let's rewind a bit. During the first 30-40 minutes of walking, I decide to take her to the beach. For context, we met at 5 PM, so it was definitely a more intimate setting than just walking down the street. She tells me she's free to stay for dinner, but I had another commitment, so I told her no, and that we’d leave at the same time as last time. I also told her that if she'd let me know earlier, maybe I could’ve stayed.
In any case, during these first 30-40 minutes, she’s very playful, and I am too. We tease each other during the conversation.
A few things that made me laugh:
- A car stops way early to let us cross, and she asks if the car stopped for her or for me. I respond: “It stopped for me, obviously.”
During dates, being a bit "egocentric" helps, especially in maintaining my "frame" of being attractive and the best choice for her.
Then she starts to "force" a conversation about relationships and my history with other girls.
At first, I don’t answer and reflect the question like it’s a “shit test” and ask her: “How’s it going with guys for you?”
I think this was a mistake since her response was:
“Well, maybe it’s still a bit early (since she broke up with her boyfriend two months ago or less).”
Damn, I’m not sure if it was a mistake—what do you guys think?
Then she reflects it back to me, so I keep it short:
"Have you had relationships in the past?"
"Yeah, two, but they didn’t work out."
"What do you do with other girls?"
"Whatever comes to mind."
(Maybe this second answer wasn’t perfect—give me your opinion.)
Moving on...
We go to a few shops, blah blah blah, I get bored and suggest going to a bar. We go, she’s underage, but I offer her a drink because I know she drinks and has done so before.
I take her to a bar that was quite busy. She sits across from me, but I tell her, "Come sit next to me, I can’t hear you otherwise."
She agrees—another way to get closer.
I notice during the conversation that she’s moving her eyes a lot, so I grab her by the chin and say, "Look me in the eyes." She does, and I feel a stronger connection. She talks to me a bit about her insecurities, I listen, and when she finishes, I tell her I’m going to the bathroom. While there, I pay for the drinks quietly, so I’m free afterward.
I come back, compliment her on the fact that she doesn’t wear much makeup, which I genuinely appreciate.
Nice and all, then we leave and head back to the beach. The conversations are more random and fun, I can tell the alcohol has kicked in. She’s not drunk, but her mood has definitely improved. We sit by a fountain—cute, romantic—and chat. Then we stop talking, I put my hand on the back of her neck, look into her eyes, then at her lips, and go in for a kiss, but she resists. I stop and continue the conversation like nothing happened.
Time goes on, it gets late, I take her back to the station, we wait for the train. I recreate the moment, she doesn’t resist, but when I go in for the kiss, she turns her head. So I kiss her on the cheek instead. Again, I pretend like nothing happened, I’m happy and keep making jokes. We keep talking, the train arrives, she gives me a hug, then another. During the second hug, I kiss her on the cheek. She says, "Oh, how cute." She goes to kiss me on the cheek, but I turn my head, and she stops about a millimeter from my lips. We don’t kiss, but as she’s about to get on the train, I tell her, "Give me a kiss," offering my cheek. She hugs my neck and gives me a kiss on the cheek.
I’d say that’s good progress.
Tell me what you think I did wrong, what I did right, if I should have gone for the kiss or something else, avoided certain conversations, etc.
In any case, from my point of view, I should’ve wasted less time, and we should’ve gone to the bar at least an hour earlier to create the right dynamic, giving me more time to attempt the kiss.
I’m really happy that I didn’t act "needy" or weird when I was rejected for the kiss, and I appreciate that I confronted the fear of taking action and going for it.
She texted me when she got home, and that’s it.
Oh, and besides all that, she mentioned several times that she wants to see me again (even after I tried to kiss her).
What do you guys think?
Vermillion-Rx Admin 4w ago
Firts of all man. You could have easily kissed or fucked this chick by now. like easily af. 3rd date is WAY too late to fuck nowadays. I'm more traditional times, no. Women put out for tingles on date 1 now. You probably could have fucked on date one honestly with how well it went if you'd have had your own place.
Duh. And if she rejects all your decisions, it's usually because they are insufferable man women.
If this is the same chick from last FR where you completely failed to capitalize on a Disney movie date and didn't kiss her the other time then you. You are just being a total bitch. You are making zero moves, and her female brain has no idea what you are doing. You're here talking about insecurities the 3rd date no kiss already met her parents
I gaurantee her brain is scrambled from the lack of coherence here. And you keep going on beach dates for what? Including having gone back to the beach at least twice in this single 3rd date. Wtf man? You are dating her in the most schizophrenic way.
She is dying for you to take it further and you won't. First date has countless opportunities. You already met her parents and are stretching this out further than the universe extends with no move. It's insane.
3rd date, met parents, countless movie-esque opportunities to kiss, and this is "good progress?"
Please give me your copium dealer's phone number. I want what you're on.
Lack of bar/alcohol didn't result in the wrong dynamic. Your lack of balls did.
Asking for a kiss was needy. Women want it to be spontaneous and "just happened". You should have women dying for a kiss and hoping you do it. If you're asking for it you're doing it wrong. Fuck I've had women kiss me because they were that turned on/wanted me. Never ask for one. Might as well start a go fund me for testosterone replacement if you're asking for a kiss.
She's practically begging you to stop being a faggotty bitch. Make a move. You need to pull.
Especially since she said "it won't matter if you're in a relationship" or whatever in your last FR.
Stop being a bitch. She wants to fuck you're just basically saying
"Hey girl..... I love taking you out for nothing. This isn't going anywhere"
I gaurantee she is just wondering what the f you are doing as a man across these three dates that are all connection and no action
Musicgoon78 Should i (x1) 1mo ago
Third date and you haven't had a real kiss yet?
C'mon bro. This is moving like molasses. Escalation should be quick and intense. This is too fucking slow and doesn't give a girls the tingles or the sense that you're sexually confident. I'm usually balls deep by the end of the first date.
Tempsyy 1mo ago
I don't know man, I am new to the red pill, for how confident I can be I am still not fuckboy type of confident
Typo-MAGAshiv Can't think for myself 1mo ago
You won't get there by pussyfooting around and letting her use you for attention and free meals.
It's time to next this one and try again with one who actually can't keep her hands off you.
"Yes, I enjoy attention and getting free stuff. Let's do that again."
Relevant link: Wait For It? by Rollo Tommasi.
Tempsyy 1mo ago
I have acknowledged the fact that she might be using me just like a gold digger, Have to mention also that her only relationship before this was a 2 year long relationship with her first and only boyfriend, took them about 2 months of dating for the first kiss to happen and she broke up with him a month ago.
I Know that she would've fucked the primal alpha male on the first date but I acknowledge the fact that I am not at that level still, I'll try one last date if we get to meet eachother later on, I'll go all in and if she's not down for it I'll end things there, I have another 3 dates with other girls in the next week so I'll focus on that.
This was the first girl I actually dated (first ever) so yeah, I still have a lot of work to do, thanks for everything
Typo-MAGAshiv Can't think for myself 1mo ago
You'll get there.
A big step is learning to value your time, and not waste it on chicks who aren't totally into you. A woman who wants you will make it easy for you, and remove barriers.
A woman putting barriers in place = she doesn't really want you. Next.
Tempsyy 1mo ago
Ah you're right man, tonight I'll go on a night out with 3 chicks I don't know, I 'll push hard, and if they don't want me then I'll go next
First-light 1mo ago
Sounds Ok but you need to see what you have here or if it is just a waste of time entertaining a girl who is between boyfriends.
I detect a bit of trying to play the right moves here. there are no real right moves, so long as the direction is towards you getting inside her. You have had time for her to get used to you, now go and do something with her that is fun and get close to her physically touch her hands, her face gently (not grab her chin), her back, then if that goes ok, her bottom and legs. If she is liking it all, then just start kissing her. If she is liking that have a make out session.
If she is into you, she will want to hold you and be held. You don't have to rush to sex instantly but you do want to know that the desire is there on her side. Compliment her face and body and the way she moves, Make it clear you are into her and you want her, see if she likes the idea. If she does, it will only end one way, even if you are a bit awkward and slower than average getting there. But if she is lukewarm physically, at this stage when she knows you, she is 95% likely to stay that way, whether you bang her or not and a crap relationship is not worth it, so next.
I will repeat the usual advice to younger men who have less experience with girls physically -the actual sexual moves are not your worry really, its getting her relaxed and ready that is more important. The rest will happen naturally enough if she is well up for it and the two of you will work out how you both like it once you are open and relaxed about it. If she is frustrated by your being a bit slow to get there, well its only going to make her happy with anything you do when you get there, whereas rushing to the sexual stuff will make her awkward in the sexual stuff and possibly critical of your errors. Do a lot of small gentle touching -brushing, caressing, holding- that is not directly sexual at first and gradually increase the sexuality of it when she is clearly receptive.
Tempsyy 1mo ago
Thanks for the advice, I'll try and apply these stuff whenever we'll meet in the future.
whytehorse2021 1mo ago
Sounds like it went fine. Maybe started off a little awkward but got back on track. The fact that she showed up and took a 40min train ride says she serious. I'd give her a 2nd date and work out more sustainable logistics with better date planning.
Tempsyy 1mo ago
Yeah we'll see how it goes, it's already the third date, do you think that it's still normal for her to resist? Also yea, all these 3 times she took the 40 min trip with the train to come and see me, the reality is I don't wanna spend money and go to her city since it's a small town and has nothing fun to do compared to the city where I live in
whytehorse2021 1mo ago
Yeah I mean a kiss is no big deal. Maybe just ask her what's wrong if she refuses. Maybe you have bad breath or something...
Tempsyy 1mo ago
Asking why is not a good idea, I don't have bad breath or anything, I'm just a pussy, not her alpha male