heya, long time lurker first time poster. I was seeing this HB9 chick (met her at the gym with the progressive approach explained by denmo on yt), I'm like HB7 or so (6', I'm fit, not very good looking just slightly above avg face, not rich, etc. I'm a tech guy so also not a born chad but just all the learnings I've had from this community/books/etc)
- did kino on first date but didn't find the opportunity to kiss (yea I fucked up with going to eat something)
- 5 days passed and I went radio silent (due to her not saying thanks or any crap like that)
- she appeared at my gym on Tuesday out of nowhere (she literally just talked to me and then went out, didn't stay to train, and also told me she is not coming back to the gym in some time due to work blah blah) proposing to take me out from there and going together to talk and eat something, I said no (to show i'm on my purpose, like gym goes above her in my priorities) but proposed a new date for friday and told I would write her
- so I waited a bit and wrote to go on Friday to a bar, she couldn't but she told me to go on Saturday (today) which I agreed to but at a later hour (to show I'm busy and to take dinner out of the scene)
- same day cancellation came where she told me she probably couldn't go today and asked me to go tomorrow, I said 'ok' (following advice here) but that I couldn't tomorrow (to avoid this stupid cycle of she cancelling on me and show I have shit to do), so she was going to "give me confirmation" if she could go in a bit (this shit never came, made me wait for like 3 hours, what came instead is her telling me "there's a blackout blah blah" -- it's true tho, we live close and there was an electricity blackout going in the city but who gives a fuck)
- so I tried to press further with "you going or not?"
- then she closes with 'no, next time [stupid emojis]', 'let me know when you can and we'll see'
- I ignored her, will wait for 4 days or so and will try to invite her mid-week to some drinks in one place that is worse than where we were going to go (to show I don't give a shit), not too convinced on this yet though (this would be like my last-shot move somehow)
text have always been logistics, tried to be descriptive to see what else can I learn from this interaction
her birthday is also next weekend but since we haven't kissed it makes no sense to invite her to anything that day, although to be honest I'm just thinking on nexting, this all sounds to me like I'm competing against chad thundercock or that I failed already with that shitty first date and fucked up everything here
what did I fuck up on? anything that can be done at this point to plate her?
Typo-MAGAshiv 2 14h ago
1) never heard of him
2) most YouTubers are total garbage
That Chad meme is ridiculously exaggerated. Even people who seem like naturals had a learning curve when they first started.
You make that opportunity. If she's into you, she'll kiss back. If she's not, then you know sooner not to waste your time and energy on her.
Not necessarily a great move, but not necessarily a bad one. A lot depends on shit you won't be able to convey via text.
Pretending to be busy if you really aren't can backfire hard. Are you familiar with the term "tells" as used in poker? The movie "Rounders" explains it pretty well. A "tell" is a (usually small) tic, action, etc that s player involuntarily does that can indicate confidence, bluffing, uncertainty, etc. He might scratch his nose, or twitch his mouth slightly, etc. A successful poker player makes his decisions off of the other players' tells, rather than just the cards he's been dealt.
Women operate mostly off of instinct and emotions, and are good at spotting "tells" that a man isn't as awesome as he's pretending to be. They don't usually articulate this very well, but will just get an "off" feeling about him.
If you pretend to be busy when you're not, there's a good chance you have some kind of tell that let's her know you aren't as cool as you try to appear.
This reads like you have oneitis. She isn't special.
I mean, maybe give her another try if you want. It seems to me that you're better off just moving on.
Musicgoon78 1 1d ago
Here we go. I know by the use of HB in front of a number that we are in for an absolute shit show.
I can tell by the level of autism in this post that you are one of those guys that treats the red pill like religious dogma. You're so caught up in this high value shit and scorekeeping that your head isn't in the game, It's up your ass.
First, stop this trying to look busy bullshit. It obviously isn't working. I can tell from your texts that you are larping. I'm sure it's vastly worse than this IRL.
To all you new guys out there: don't start making up shit to make you look alpha. That girl you're hitting on has built in abundance and experience. By the time she's an adult, she will be able to see and even sense an alpha from a faker. To her it's just a feeling. Experience is a good teacher and she will know this from getting hit on constantly.
Second is how many ways can this woman show you she's not interested? Take the fucking hint bro. Where's your abundance? If you had a bunch of options, this wouldn't even be a post. You would just move on to someone who's enthusiastic about spending time with you. This chick could care less.
You're not going to plate her and you don't need to next someone who already soft nexted you.
Go out and get options. Also stop coming on here spitting terminology just to look cool. It's fucking lame.
fumandobebiendo 1d ago
I don't fully understand what's wrong on treating it as a religious dogma, this thing is what gave me a life, I suffered from being a beta idiot all my teen years, I'm at mid 20s now and thanks to this I was able to grow balls, talk to girls and lose my virginity, still a long way to go to become Chad (which is my ultimate goal) but this allowed me to experience what's like to be alive.
Do you really think it's over here? She inviting me one time makes it seem like she had at least a bit of interest, maybe she played the cancellation stuff due to being mad on me or something for me denying when trying to appear busy/interesting.
Just wanted to see if it's wroth a shot to give a last invitation next week. I know I should never do this again about trying to fake stuff as they will sense it (my thought process was that they would be looking for signals instead and if I emulated them well enough I would be seen as Chad, the 'fake it till you make it' kind of mindset)
As per my abundance, that's something I definitely need to continue to work on, finding a bit hard to meet girls in the city I'm at right now :/ and she was like a model so yeah maybe I was aiming too high for my level
Musicgoon78 1 1d ago
The problem is that when you treat it as literal dogma, your results will be garbage. These are tools not strict rules. Do you want to progress or stagnate?
Your thinking is still on the side of simp. If she's too high for your level, you're putting her on a pedestal. A chick, is just that. Once you start assigning her a league, you've lost..
You're free to continue on your path as you see fit. I don't see it as a good recipe for success as a guy that's been doing this for a while.
Typo-MAGAshiv 2 14h ago
Fuck yes! I wish more of these newbies would grasp that.
I said similar in a post from a while back: Don't Be A Red Pill Sperg
OP @fumandobebiendo it would behoove you to read that post.
Relevant excerpt:
fumandobebiendo 1d ago
understood, thanks for the advice, I obviously want to progress, I just would like to be Chad, have women that genuinely desire me and have an abundant life, will try to treat this more like a tool instead of something I need to follow to the point. Been spending an insane amount of time on reading books, sidebar material, old posts, trying watch every single youtube video, to try to learn it all but maybe what I'm lacking is practice / creating my own game adapted to my circumstances / geo location by only following the principles/main things
Musicgoon78 1 1d ago
Yes! You've got it! The guys that get good at game have their own style. Suit it to your personality.
Theory is good but now it's time to get more hands on and balls deep experience.
First-light 1d ago
I think you may be a little bit hung up on proving you are high value by saying no to her plans. She is hotter than you and so she has lots of options (we all know girls of equal hotness have more options but this is going to be even more so). You are an option she is prepared to consider but if you make it unnecessarily difficult due to trying to prove you are a high value busy guy, then she just thinks you are rather hard work for someone less hot than her, when guys like that hit on her all the time. She will not be too motivated.
Game is just marketing. Marketing can pay good short term dividends but market fundamentals can never be ignored and usually win in the end. Be a solid reliable option that turns up with something fun for her to do without a logistical struggle. A salesman can use all sorts of marketing tricks but first of all he needs to engage with the customer. If your game is stopping you doing that, its not helpful. People might wait for ages to get an appointment to view a limited release of the latest model of a top car and the salesman might be able to jerk them around by being hard to get hold of to make them keener but if you are selling a solid standard car that the customer can get at the rival showroom a few blocks away, don't jerk them about, get them inside the car quick and show them how much they are going to like this one.
I am not saying be a thirsty beta and mope about after her saying "how high?" every time she says jump but just get the two of you to meet up by being available or what's in it for her? Write this one the other way around -9/10 guy meets 7/10 girl actually goes to the gym to take her out but girl got game and she sends him away cos the gym is more interesting than him. Then she waits a few days to get back to him and and suggests a time he is busy, he suggests the next day and she then changes the time to show she is high value. Sadly that time does not work for hot guy.... is this really worth his while? He is going to get a lot less bothered and look more to easier options.
Just play straight, try to get to meet up without making it hard for her or bending over backwards like a desperate man. Then if she is interested its clear, if not she is not worth the chase.
If you actually get to plate her then of course she can't be calling the shots all the time but first you have to get her to see the value in what you are offering.
fumandobebiendo 1d ago
good perspective, didn't think I was hyper-focused on trying to have a top-notch game playing the mysterious/busy/alpha whatever, at this point I'm nobody to her as I didn't have the balls to go for the kiss, so maybe I need to relax a bit and make things easier for her availability till at least we fuck and she can start treating me with 'higher' priority as we plate (if she finds i'm worth it)